grief
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Will I ever finally get the chance?
To finally get the chance to experience true romance.
To know what it's like to finally be in love,
And to have the kind of love that I have been dreaming of.
I went back to our memory today.
The bench beneath us was white-washed
With the summer sun
And thousands of transient lovers’
Marks
Often times we think of grief in stages. I like to think about it as waves. Up and down it goes, never finding a home base to land. Never asking you to take your hand and dance.
Grief isn't just something you can turn off.
People say that grief doesnt go away,
you just grow around it.
Sorta like harmonizing with a fan you cant turn off
Maybe grief is love with nowhere left to go.
I wish that his shoes
Were still in the walkway
They used to trip me
And I’d get frustrated
I wish the laundry
‘Twas an ill wind blowing on that August day.
‘Twas a portent of what was headed that way.
All saints and sinners, aye ye better take heed,
of the storm they called Katrina.
Waves
We talked about wanting to go to the ocean to scream at it.
Our voices getting swallowed up by the waves.
Maybe we still will.
For now, though, our tears are waves enough,
Chasm
It is so cruel how the world keeps on turning.
The sun dares to make its way out from the clouds.
The birds mock, the kids play.
The flowers bloom, the wind blows.
How is it not all weeping?
Ever So
We lost him three months ago.
It's impossible that this much time has passed,
but impossible things seem to keep happening
with unrelenting ease.
Impossible things used to seem exciting.
Walls
Watching the sun dance on the walls that encased my childhood
The walls that have heard the laughter and joy
of a little girl who's memories all come back to this place.
With its chipped baseboards
A Plea
Any moment stumbling past that isn't blanketed in a stifling heat
I find myself scurrying to peel back my curtains, and open my windows
Cracking the doors, begging the wind to blow through
when i die i want to come back as a dog.
i want to come into this earth as a minuscule being, crammed in tight quarters, unsure of what to think.
The sky lends it's blue to your eyes
Til twilight swallows the sinking sun
And your hope sinks with it
As reality hits like a smoking gun
You glance at your empty hands
The things you held so tight, to dust
How fragile are the gossamer threads of life
that tie us to this earthly realm?
A single strand has snapped and my world has unravelled.
For you have broken free of your earthly bounds
Numb.All I feel is numb. The panic and the fear
But I know you are with me.I can feel you all around me.as illogical and unknowing as it could be.I can feel that you are with me.
Grief is an ocean,
Endless and vast,
It swallows you whole,
And the pain seems to last.
It crashes and tumbles,
And pulls you under,
You struggle and fight,
Grief, oh grief, you heavy weight,
A burden that no one can debate.
You come uninvited, unannounced,
And leave us feeling so deeply pounced.
You shake our world, turn it upside down,
i cannot remember the day they buried you
but i remember the way they wept
they mourned the loss of a girl never meant to exist.
I found my love long ago
The one they always talk about
The one in movies with happy endings
The one in books so endearing
Is your favorite color still red?
Because my favorite is still blue.
Do you still wear those black pants?
For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
I hope you see warm sun
Because your skin is cold.
I hope you feel my rust
Because these gears have mold.
My heart was made from human hands.
Your face
in my mind
hurts like splinters,
and my heart is infected
on the inside.
Your voice cracking
into me
like a whip,
a cat o’ nine tails,
the air is thick with sky
its heaviness settles over me
and there is no telling
where you end
and i begin
with just one step
careless
or careful
I could submerge into you
The Encounter Worthy of self and same. Higher value others are. More than harm from the unkind. Coldhearted. Brutal. Cruel.Pulling strings like a puppeteer.
The Journey Back
is an interesting one
miles of walking on
tired, callused, bloodied feet.
treading back over
that eroded ground.
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
Let there be laughter
And not grief
On the day I go
For tears
Will not suffice
Let there be light
I’m exhausted by the grief
And drained by this place
This place that once held promise
This world that once had values
Or perhaps it never did
Losing someone you love is the hardest thing that anyone can go through,
It's so strange to think about them being gone when they were always there for you.
Some people will never understand the love that we have for our pets,
Dear Mommy,
It's the third Mother's Day without you
I miss your beautiful smile, and your laugh
I could count 1000 things I miss about you
and it wouldn't count for half
sometimes i am so easily decieved
I believe what i wish to be true
and when the fantasies of my infancy are ripped from my grasp
I weep at the feet of misbeliefs past
for the comfort of lies
Unspoken, unidentified tragedies ...
I wonder if bad news and devastation are better delivered
With the merciless blow, like finding out you'll die just before Christmas
For your brokenness that clings to me
In my openness so ceaselessly
Relaying all the meanings, forever afraid
Leaving a hall of discord and
Still grieving for all my mistakes
Then returning
I'm seething at what I have found
And the counsel of higher life
Still leaves me burning
With each years' dawn I'm leaning toward a shoulder's setting sun
For each new breath of life, we must embrace the lies we've sung
Here again, i'm cradled by the unreleasing arms
Of the white, shot sun's grim descent
It always finds me frantic, unprepared
I try to talk myself into some kind of world of understanding
Find empty auditorium seats
One day you’ll be gone from this earth.
As you take your last dying breath you’ll think,
“Where was I all this time?”
You thought you found yourself
In a man who said he loves you.
Wonderful men die.
Their wives are forever indebted.
Turning pain and suffering into love and memory,
Yearning to deep appreciation,
Light, into the little remainder at the close of the day.
The sun rises to a world
dressed in silence.
& you'll sit on the edge
of your bed, reliving a night you taught
your tongue to grieve.
Death always visits
with a mouth full of bullets.
The lights in her heart getting darker, you know?
An embodiment of grief from head to toe
The sparkles in eyes vanished & heart sank
The colourful soul is turning to be blank
I see the misty skyline
of a dirty city
in the distance and i think
what would you appreciate
about this scene?
which aspect would you absolutely adore?
and which would you wholly abhor?
A friend I look up to when all is not well,
With open hands she welcomes me into her humble abode,
A poisoned food that tastes so good,
You may sound evil, but you my friend are a blessing.
Flipping through the pages of my life;
Felt like walking on a sharp knife,
The more I walked, the more I wished for the walk to end;
A few things in life you can never mend.
Expectedly or unexpectedly, you had to go,
Our separation left me in sorrow;
It would be better if humans had no emotions,
Or could now erase it with potions.
No matter the time, it was cold
And the wind drew heavy breaths
No matter how young, that day we were old
Enough to watch the mess
And it’s there they met, once more to hold,
To laugh and love in each other’s fold.
On the far shores you can hear loud cries
Of happiness and reunion, no more sad goodbyes.
I’m sorry that destruction doesn’t take mercy on roses.
I’m sorry that some mistakes don’t
burn themselves out with smoke in their wake,
but rather spark and catch fire,
ravaging and burning and killing.
I love you.I miss you. You are always On my mind
But sometimes I hate you.Im seething. Did you not think What you were leaving behind?
So there we were,
Hands upon the waves, glazing over the luminescence of fragile beings.
You twirled me and made me laugh; it had been ages since I laughed;
Freely, that is.
So there we were,
Hands upon the waves, glazing over the luminescence of fragile beings.
You twirled me and made me laugh; it had been ages since I laughed;
Freely, that is.
So there we were,
Hands upon the waves, glazing over the luminescence of fragile beings.
You twirled me and made me laugh; it had been ages since I laughed;
Freely, that is.
I cried for you to hold me
But you took your arms away
I said I wanted to be alone
While praying that you would stay
Stepped upon the highest ledge
Hoping it would give way
Everyone has their own walk with grief.
Some package it up and store it away for a rainy day when they can be alone and let it overtake them.
Those dishes that I cooked,
Those stories that I said,
Baby, you said you were impressed...
The sky was blue,
Away from the shadow of gloomy clouds,
Oh so high, so high, my little kite flew.
within the empty space there lies
a chance to let my loved one live and breathe and move
while some allow the empty space to remain just an empty tomb
my empty space is filled with life of all that he didn't get to do
Yes, I'm familiar with
Kubler- Ross
the stages of grief,
but no amount of intellectualizing
can deaden the
pain
and knowing the inevitable
won't act as
morphine-
for us, the survivors
One day:
I can't remember
Three days:
My tears fell on your hand.
Two weeks:
In school, they stare.
Six weeks:
A lonely sister on Christmas.
"Dearly Beloved..."Stunned, I am amazed by this purgatory endured for loving you; dwindling morals and virtues as the ticking beast in my chest grows more enamored of solely you.
From her tears, she tells me she is struggling.
From her eyes, she tells me that she has suffered many sleepless nights.
From her frown, she tells me of her disappointment.
I was intoxicating wasn't I?
I had such a combustible presence in your midst you couldn't handle any missteps
When I gave you a subtle kiss when I told you I could've loved you
She once met someone who gave her feelings like no other
Someone she never felt she bothered
Sadly though as all things golden, it wasn't meant to last
Her love was torn from her much too fast
My boy I love you so much more
than I ever could before,
the love grows every day
expands in every way
because your My boy,
Longing is such an apt word.
The physical space between us is now uncomfortably far.
Your presence is the early morning fog on a cool fall morning;
It was upon those rocky shores
On top of the craggy rock
Overlooking the tumultuous shore
Of water rushing onto the sand
And swiping at the blood there
I can’t go in.
The smell of medicine that isn’t working,
Desperately masked by overwhelming sanitizer that stings my nose as I inhale.
No sunlight makes its way through the windows.
The day you said
your final teary goodbye
My tears won't dry
Take my beautiful memories with you
Scattered reminders
All around me
My tears won't dry
Take my beautiful memories with you
I came downstairs crying one night
When I was a little girl
Because I was scared
That someone I love would die,
Would get sick and die,
By: Kiersten Warner
I once walked along the sand,
A beach that stretched through a magic land.
A land enchanted for the lonely heart, my heart whose love was world’s apart.
On the sand there swelled a tide,
In the lull of a mild melancholy, my thoughts condense upon the cold window of a forlorn wish.
On the hearthstone of my imaginings library, I curl into the croissant like shape of a dreaming cat.
There is sadness in these bones
Deep in the marrow of the house that is my body
I am a home to grief and anger
You cannot see it in my skin and in my flesh
But I flash my teeth and you finally recognize
Peter Pan, Peter Pan, why won't you take me back?Growing up has just turned everything black.
Peter Pan, Peter Pan, this has to be a mixup,I simply never wanted to grow up.
Caught between my thoughts and what is real
I look up to the starry skyAngels don't use Wings to flutter
they only fly,
Tripping over wires of
The mental lies
Society tells us to hide
Behind a disguise
you were joy, broken joy,
shreds of it scattered.
and between your lines
lie chasms,
dark, endless, hopeless.
but you masked your chasms
by wringing out sunshine.
and thus,
Love.
That’s all I really remember when I think of her.
Her arms wrapped tightly around me,
Her charming southern accent,
And the way she looked at everyone with love in her heart.
As the sands of time fall
And collect in a mound
I stop and reflect
On the wisdom I've found
For every day is a lesson
A subject to learn
And by the end of the day
Priceless knowledge is earned
I did not choose to lose you
To let you go violently into
That good night.
I did not choose for my heart to stop
When yours did
When paramedics covered you up
And stopped trying
Sister, oh sister
She is gone, but oh how I miss her
I never got hold her
Never got to kiss her
I was supposed to teach her
I am empty
Numb
My life is in shambles lying on the floor
I cannot move
Abandoned promises
Shattered dreams
The thought of you haunts me
Even when I sleep
Empty
It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise.
Understanding Death
Death is abstract.
It comes in varying forms,
and sneaks up on you.
Suddenly, she appeared.
Inside
My tears fall swift and silent.
It is too quiet…
Deafening silence fills the air,
lays on my bed,
and covers the floor.
The Untimely Death Certificate
The untimely death certificate says 14 years old.
The untimely death certificate says you should have known.
I am ⅓ Musketeer
First week of May 2011,
we go to pick up my dad from Chicago
I was 8 years old
Waited about two hours, never did he come
I am ⅓ Musketeer
First week of May 2011,
we go to pick up my dad from Chicago
I was 8 years old
Waited about two hours, never did he come
How could you have known,
when you called his name,
that there was no one left to answer?
Words left unspoken,
discussions never to be had,
no words left to say,
what can I say?
I open the window
So I don’t suffocate
But the air doesn’t reach my lungs
As I try to count my breaths
Monday I came in to see you
I. DENIAL
They lie to me
and say that you are not here.
But the wind still blows,
the sky still blue, the grass green.
I will see you tomorrow.
II. ANGER
On my bedside table lies a small wooden box.
To a visitor, it seems insignificant
perhaps an elementary school art project.
However, to me, it serves as a powerful reminder.
Hopeless
Hopeless is how I felt.
In counseling with tears streaming down my face and no regard,
For my makeup smearing revealing I had lost any sense of grace.
War boils within;
Battlefield of my heart, scorched skeletons
Of memories rancid.
The tree of delight drips bare.
To You I exposed my heart,
Sublime seeds of offense,
When did my feelings become second to yours? Why are my opinions wrong and absurd? When did my silence become your turn to speak? Why, to you, am I small and weak? Why am I bad even if I’ve done nothing to you? Why, when I give the world, do you a
To feel you were meant to be more,
It is a feeling I know well
And with grief, my heart does swell
No hubris, to that which may quell
There will come a day, soon
Where I may roar,
But not as a beast,
Dipping my toes
Into the endless midnight blue
To me,
it's a deadly hue.
First my ankles,
Then up to my knees.
Pause.
Remind myself to breathe.
My clothes are wet now
Dipping my toes
Into the endless midnight blue
To me,
it's a deadly hue.
First my ankles,
Then up to my knees.
Pause.
Remind myself to breathe.
My clothes are wet now
I see a river levee with bridges on both sides
it’s early the air is wet, my clothes dampened by it.
People gathered and noise all around.
I’m running to you, your motionless.
I've traveled many lands
To a find a mind like yours.
I'm writing down new plans
Once I reach new shores.
Now i'm somewhere in the islands
Underage mystery face in a bar.
Air is an acquired taste
That most want to breathe
But my own air is two parts heartbreak
One part grief
It burns my lungs
It burns my lips
It burns my tongue
My dog died over four years ago,
And her ashes rest above our fireplace:
A mantlepiece
Behind a photograph of her that was there when she was alive
December 10th, 2018.
A horrible memory.
Sadness swells.
Tears start to fall.
To everyone else that day is just a day.
To me,
That day was the worst day of my life.
Winter passes.
Savior of oppressed people,
Maintainer of tranquility and peace;
A country’s epitome of power,
Justice, justice, justice!
These bed sheets are arms,
Holding me,
Eating me alive.
They moisten with the pressure of clandestine prayers,
Breath a ghost,
The ghost of you,
Step one: stay in your room alone, smash your phone against the wall so glass rain coats everything. Swallow darkness like handfuls of pills, or swallow darkness and handfuls of pills, let it boil in your throat so no color comes out.
Let the aroma,
the sweet intoxication,
of the lilies
take you away.
Their white petals,
beckoning,
follow them
Hey dad
How are you?
Oh me? nothing new.
Why am I crying?
Don’t worry, I’m fine.
Don’t try to wipe them daddy, it’s okay, you’re so kind...
I should talk to you more, but I don’t know how
Street lamps
and the last train speeding through
ringing its arupt and startling bell
"clear the way" it says to an empty road
The night is dead
I can't hold on,
I can't let go...
I keep on breathing
But each breath is suffocating.
My heart keeps pounding
But in my own blood,
I'm sinking.
my grief is not linear
i am depressed and then angry
i accept that you are dead
and that is something i cannot control
i think of you and the glorious mess you were
my grief is not linear
i am depressed and then angry
i accept that you are dead
and that is something i cannot control
Everytime I see someone since my uncle’s been gone, they tell me how different I look
How I cut my hair short
How my acne cleared up
How my lips aren’t chapped anymore
It felt like a thousand waves crashing into my body.
As I clung to anything I could.
A person.
My bed.
Like they were a lifeboat in the storm of losing you.
And then three years later and look at us now..
We were talking about marriage & having some kids in the house.
Man nothing ruins a relationship quicker than doubt.
Used to say you were so confident in what we had.
I stand in a place that I've been once before,
A garden of sadness that's watered with tears,
A plot in the earth where I made an exchange:
I buried my hopes and gave birth to my fears
-
Today is the worst day.
I knew it would be.
My last goodbye to you
Was yesterday
And I look back
To see what I missed
A call, a text, a post
Should I have
Called you, texted, replied?
Why? Can you tell me why?
My heart is crushed, sad, blue
My heart and arms are aching
To hold and be with you
*
I close my eyes and think of how
You brought such joy to me
I cried today, and it's okay
In hindsight now, I can't fall prey
To doubt and fear, or dark dismay
Their dreary biddings to obey
*
I cried today, it's tough to say
Just why I cried, I can't convey:
Look at the way at how you treat your lady
She seems bitter and confused
Darkness sadly surrounds her
As a result of your abuse
She put her trust in you
And you have let her down
Some of the sunshine disappears
When a loved one sadly passes away
You think of all the good times you had
Each and every day
Those precious memories are still there
Even though that your mom is gone
It has been seventeen years
Since that dreadful morning
Thousands lost their lives unexpectedly
Hearts are still grieving
The events that took place on that day
Sadly presented turmoil and corruption
Sometimes we search for answers
That we can not find
So cryptic and puzzling
And justifiably unkind
Pain and darkness rears its ugly head
This is quite the mystery
Such confusion and frustration
This, a River
This, a river,
I am not lines but curves
Winding around sand bars
Creating islands
Revealed in low tide
My current pulses life
Tadpoles, carp, algae
I smile in light
Shocking scars,
The past,
So long ago,
Hurt entrenched so deep,
No words can describe,
The manner in which it resides,
No tears can make
The agony seap.
Ever present,
Its just there,
On my bosom,
Just there.
Centre point.
It feels heavy,
This weight is wrapped,
Front of my chest,
Penetrates my soul.
Takes away,
Joy,
heaven
is a topic of controversy that dwells amongst great populations -
from a young age, I was exposed to such trauma of Death in circumstances that a young princess should not have withstood.
Goodmorning
How could I have known what sick meant
You were sick, been sick your whole life
Suffered your old life with
A smile
Frantic wings beating blindly,
Bombarding the window pane.
Beak nimbly tap tap tap tapping the glass it doesn't see,
Jewel toned chest sparkling sapphire in the sunlight.
the rain pounded heavily last night
drops of water ran slowly down the car windows
matching the silver trails of the tears that wound down my cheeks
rough hands that weren't yours stroked my skin
My name is a tombstone rubbing,I am dead and rotten,Flesh and coffin long forgotten,To roam the world underneath,In rubble, stone, and compost heaps,Lay not lilies at my feet,For I am no longer there
Death pervades my waking sleep,Icy wrathful breath of mildew and moss,Corrupting the images of light and love,Memories fleeting dreams,Rustles in the predawn curtains,Faint presence of something there,
White robed skeleton
They had to lift you -
three or four at most
How did it feel
to be so powerless?
You could barely speak
and I forgot the words
How does it feel
to only wait
Bad news bends me down
Like snow icing a birch tree
How much more can I take before I break?
Splintered into a thousand shards-
I can't melt my heart anymore
It all started with a purse. A beautiful deep plum crossbody. Embossed with a household name.
Kate Spade.
The sunlight echoes across the room
in waves.
We said goodbye; they left down the callow way.
Later, after fizzy breath
and Valentine thoughts,
Curse my luck
Please curse the day
My only sense of sanity was taken away
With such little words
And movements so slight
I love you!
And I don’t know how to tell you that I love you
Is the problem that we’re having here
The thing is you don’t even realize
How much I love you
And you won’t unless I make you realize
A surge of fear goes through her heart;
She's all alone and torn apart.
Just weeping softly in the dark
Without a single light or spark.
When suicide took you, my whole world from me,
I had nothing to fall back on except poetry.
Grief had consumed my mind,
It filled inside me, and the only way to keep myself alive
Grief reigns supreme when precious life is gone;
the echoes of past time
lie silent in the grave.
Mute testimony of what once was,
and never will be again.
Never Farewell
By: Ricardo A Arreola
In a world filled with lies and made up memories
Hate is all a child ever grew to know
But when lying next to frozen stone one
you
are hurting my mind
hurt me to think about
hurt me to be without
i thought about you today
and i felt the pain in my chest
where you were not leaning
You said that you loved her
But, your actions sing a different tune
Unless your demeanor changes
She will leave you really soon
How can you call it love?
When all you do is manipulate her mind
They yank on their skates,
criss-cross the laces and
tug on my hand with stubby fingers.
The ice is thick and crusted with
white chips
Pondscum and cattails are hidden
under the marbled crust
Throughout life, there are those too important to let go.
But no matter how hard anyone holds on,
We'll all end up gone;
There's a close to every show.
You were precious in every sense of the word.
I don't know what they're talking about
Saying that your gone
Saying that you'll never come back
I don't want to know what they're talking about
No more
What do they mean
When they say you gone forever
I rejoice in sharing the earth
With someone so lovely as you.
I think of your face and I'm filled with mirth;
My joy and happiness can't be subdued.
But despite this thrum of ecstasy, I carry great trepidation,
Claiming sadness to be all your own
Your only comfort in life, the sorrow you've known.
Could anyone know the tear as well as you?
Be seduced by the pain, as it cuts your heart in two?
Nothing but pure madness
As teachers and students run for their lives
Such a dour situation
Filled with corruption and strife
The mark of evil
Has sadly, reared its ugly head
Remember when I was born?
Remember when we went to Las Vegas?
Remember when we went to Chicago,
Dear Gabi,
Last night I had a dream that you were alive
That you had tried to jump out of your window, maybe to fly
And I sat by your side because you didn’t die.
When I thought no one cared
And I was alone,
You were there.
When my situation back home became too much to live with,
You were there.
Dear pal,
I remember.
I remember how your hair
Shone like burning embers,
Though your eyes
Were the color of ice.
Dear Dad,
My life was mine until that July,
it was to be my birthday soon.
You grabbed my face and looked me in the eye
told me you loved me without realizing that was goodbye.
I wanted so much for you.
I wanted you to learn how to walk before anything else so that you could always rely on your feet as foundation to hold you up during times of desperation.
Dona Julia
Ama, I think of you everywhere I go.
I feel you in everything I am.
It’s been 1325 days since i found out that you passed away and i didn’t cry then but now my eyes are carrying the tears that are hanging on by a needle and thread.
U n t i l T h e T i m e
By: SeemsPoetic
O n e l i f e w e l i v e...
One life we grow...
And In the end...
What if dying isn't deathIf when we leave this world…
The weight of it is simply off our chest
When we take that final breath
Wake up at night
all I can see is your face
ten years and still not right
I wake up and think about
if someday in the void of bright white light
Dear Nana,
How are you? How have you been?
I've been trying to be happy but how do I begin?
I remember your last day like the back of my hand
Little did I know time was running out like dripping grains of sand.
My dearest little one:
What words are there to say?
To pass between strangers,
Stranger, my very flesh and blood
Between an expectant older sister
And Heaven's smallest saint?
I see you in my sleep,
there, you’re still alive,
Refusing to accept you’re gone,
is the only way I survive,
I reveal all my stories,
Dear Pompa,
We miss you down here. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone’s silence, but I do.
My dearest Karlie,
They say that time heals but the time without you is like the sand
At the bottom of an hourglass, growing heavier, heavier still
Dear Justin,
Only Fifteen
Still Learning How to Live
You taught me how to stay strong.
You gave me laughter and smiles.
During a time I only had sadness and grief.
You had me and I had you.
Dear Ryan,
Why am I writing to someone dead?
The farthest it'll go is the Stone;
The last remnants I have of you - except your Jacket, of course;
I sleep with it, but it no longer smells of you -
You gave birth to me in the month of October
while my father peeked over your shoulder.
You raised me with love and compassion always
and I desire to follow in your ways.
On a cool morning in June of 2004
I found you there – you were still warm, but we knew you were cold
Sometimes I see you but I know you aren’t there
Your hands smelled like smoke, but that was more permanent than you were
Dear dad
You left so soon
I didn't even get to make you proud
You promised you'd watch me graduate, grow, marry
But you're not here now
You didn't even see me turn 18
Cancer ate away at your lungs and
I remember that day
I had heard it many times that day,
Someone else had lost time.
Who? I wondered.
As if it was a broken record, frantically reaching for an answer in my mind.
Who could it be?
When you bury a poet
There's so much poetry lost
The wind and the rain weep
And the sun shines to dry their tears
But dew drops are left behind
Like an unfinished sonnet
Where the words trail off
She has decided to walk away
Because, you did not treat her right
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Situations sadly, ended in a fuss or fight
Face the reality of the matter
She often drowned in tears
The first knock at the door, curiosity.
Gold stars badges with an unfounded look of grief,
Wait a minute, isn’t your job to save the day?
Dear Matthew, I often wondered about you. How you'd laughThe color of your hair, If you were strong, If you were scared. I often wondered about you. My sweet little boy,My playful kin, My eldest brother, My might have been. I often wondered abou
And the tears will be fire
on your cheek,
Your heart stricken with venom
from the serpent of Anger.
The sun reflected milky white off my skin outside the gym
When you asked me where my sister was
I told you that she was sick
You asked me what I meant
Dear Anthony,
I’m fine.
Am I?
Yeah,
I’m fine.
Miss you.
Miss your laugh.
Miss your smile.
Miss you.
I go to school,
Work,
Eat,
Sleep,
Miss you.
A Letter to My Mom:
Mom, did you know?
Did you know it was your time?
You couldn't let me know I wouldn't see you when the sun shines?
You couldn't call me to your room and ask me why dishes were in the sink?
To Missense
I only write letters to family
though estranged,
that you still are,
after all
You’ve run in the blood
With the poinciana tree in view, I’d at my window sit,
Starting the day in meditation made the tree a perfect fit.
Yesterday morning, the tree loppers came,
Watching them made me feel almost lame.
Dear those trying to comfort,
Don't tell me you understandDon't say you knowDon't tell me I will surviveOr for sure grow
I get a call around midnight delivering the news. My father has died, I can’t be told how until I am 18. My world feels broken now, and I don’t know how I am supposed to deal with it. I don’t sleep that night.
I remember when I heard the news.
It was hard for me to follow.
I remember when I went to see you,
My mind was still and hollow.
Because I love you, I want to help other children like you
Because I love you, I will study my hardest
Because I love you, I cry that you are gone
Because I love you, I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
Day One:
This morning I woke up crying
I miss you
I couldn’t talk to all the well-wishers
I couldn’t even talk to my mom
I miss you
You were never there
Nothing but pure neglect
A child was born
A moment that you seem to forget
Nothing but a dark cloud
Bitterness sadly rears its ugly head
Just take accountability
Girl, what happened to us?
Conversation has sadly ran dry
This has become a masquerade
Time continues to pass us by
If we do not communicate
Darkness will appear
Of a melancholy nature
Tears fall from her face
That is ever so clear
You did not treat her right
You were insincere
You messed with her heart
And played with her mind
Nothing but an insolent demeanor
So degrading and unkind
It seems as though a cloud has permanently settled over my head
And my chest is burdened with a twenty pound weight that doesn't belong on my bones.
Emotionally, I'm dead.
Pray, and a message you’ll receive,
Sitting unconvinced of eternal love and devotion,
Abandoned in a confinement of grief,
Weary of further exploration into this emotion;
You have to continue on
Even though you have lost a loved one
Remember the good times you had with your mother
She taught you how to be strong
She is still there to guide you
Darkness strikes
Nothing but a calamity
Anguish, sorrow, and grief sadly appear
What a major catastrophe
Through the hurricanes and earthquakes
Countries are in a state of ravage
Dear Best Friend,
The small smile that appeared on your face when someone acknowledged you or your loud laughter at the simplest joke... It was gone. You are gone.
She was just sixWhen he told her to fixHis dirty desireRemove the heat of his fire
She was just nineWhen she was toldTo kiss him below the lineBy that gigantic old
An Ode to an uncle
By: Hannah Beasley
You died doing what you loved; Playing basketball
Your tall lanky body was always perfect for the sport
You died happy
Love needs a reason to stayI prompt, is this the only way?To make it more strong and deepThe first time, I might cry and weep
It has been sixteen years
Since that dark day
Our nation was under attack
Total chaos in every way
Three thousand people sadly perished
Nothing but pure frustration
Along with sullen moments
This is unreal. As if she is here, I still do feel; this is unreal.
I do sometimes forget and the tears they do fall; and I admit.... this is unreal.
by Damiam Henry on October 29, 2014. © Damiam Vincent Henry, All rights reserved
She gave her life to me.
For me. She gave immortality.
I felt her love so infinitely,
Yet her heart I lost inside the sea.
you told me, i’m a fighter,
you told me, you’d always be here.
you were your sister’s protector, and I’m my brother’s keeper,
you suffered
I once spoke to a man with the same complexion,
Whose suffered from the vast cruelty of rejection.
••••••••
how dare you!
leave her childless;
how dare, this world...
this icy world,
with sin and shame.
allow two boys to take the blame.
who sadly lost their mother,
to the fists of a drunken father!
She put her trust in you
But, you have sadly let her down
Always there and one who cared
Now all of the joy has turned into frowns
How could you treat her that way
She was once your queen
His beauty is unspeakable and incomparable;
not because his words are able to inflict pain upon me,
but because his heart will forever beat in sync with mine.
You cried
You cried for maybe
20 minutes?
15?
Then you pleaded
You tried to at least
But why?
What's the point?
Then you screamed
Screamed at the world
Why do we cause so much pain
As if the world
Didn't have enough?
We hate as viciously
As we love
Hurting the ones we touch.
Burning, tearing, stabbing
Ripping hearts and
Stinging tears.
my hair is short now
i wonder if you’d like it
i draw much more now
i wonder if you’d like it
i write poems now
i wonder if you’d like it
i do a lot of staring
staring at the computer screen
staring at the ceiling
staring at my hands when hurt them
staring at my feet when i bruise them
a vicious thing
the pain that always comes
from never getting to know
from no real conversation
that went beyond me wondering
Grief whether it be the loss of a loved one, loss of an opportunity, or loss of ones old self
Is a nasty virus that effects can be worse then the spread of HIV or Zika
I've seen grief in the form of quiet tears in the dark of night.
I've seen grief in the form of checkered pillows to muffle the screams.
I've seen grief in the form of cigarette smoke puffing in from the garage.
You call to me in the night,
A silent black monolith of blue light,
Looming in my waking thoughts and dreams,
Punching buttons and tapping strings,
The world I think is dull and grey,
You put me on my knees and I sob to God
"Please"
This poem isn't any different than the ones before
It's about how I love you
Something I can never ignore
It's about how you love him, too
A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.A year ago, I found out I was moving from North Carolina to Illinois.
The Hit
We were in the same city when you died.I didn't know until hours after arriving homewhen I saw the pictures,saw you,I didn't understand.
Wade, I thought it was your birthday.
january, noah's funeral.
february, this shouldn't have happened.
march, it's all my fault.
april, i should have talked to him more.
may, take a deep breath.
june, i miss him.
Yesterday,You were okay.We had a conversation.We laughed together,you reminded me of the good in life.
it was winter when we met
and summer when you left
maybe there’s some irony in that,
but i haven’t found it yet.
as soon as our eyes met,
The impossible has happened and now I am impossibly numb.
The bitter sting of an empty core, I wanted more. More warmth more sun, more love, hope.
And I want more still.
The stilled voice; the raspy breath
A gentle beep and the smell of death
The eyes are open and yet they see
Far more than me
A small shudder as the devil tries
Just one last trick, one last disguise
Dad,
These are the days where I,
With special clarity,
With attentive mind
Give heed to the cavern in my heart.
These are the days where I wonder
And I miss your smile.
The days I remember.
I was the type,
that held on,
expecting the worst,
unable to release myself,
from what I presumed was safe.
I would hid in the shadows,
waiting to be cleansed by the rain,
but,
I can see it.
I can see the light located at the end of the tunnel
I run faster and faster towards it
Praying with each step I'll be one step closer,
closer to being free.
Free from the bullies
Looking outside my window
Through sorrowful eyes
The sky tells me its’s time
Gathering my strength
I walk into the cold
The sun decides to hide
Behind thick ashen clouds
If only you were here,
You would have been able to kiss me goodbye
Wish me luck and try your best not to cry
As I drove off to learn and live alone
Instead, I had to tell your tombstone
If only you were here,
The last time I felt this empty
Felt the air around me
Was the first time
I went to DC
After my brother commited suicide
My room smells like death and urine
So do my bedsheets
But I don't want to clean his cage
And I don't want to ride the bedsheets
These are the last scents I have
Against what becomes memories
So this is empty
How nice.
I feel like stabbing myself because
I'm convinced
I wouldn't feel anything
More extravagant than this
Heaviness
I saw my shadow for the first time
And didn't believe it was mine
Just some girl
Following behind
As both our hearts break politely
Red is for the blood of our brothers and sisters spilt
Orange is for the heightened awareness of global warming
Yellow is for the joy felt when our rights were awarded to us
Green is for growth of knowledge society
Up on the hill in Deer Island Park, a sicamore is felled.
no one attends it's funeral, or wears a black veil in it's honour.
a man used to sleep under that tree, a woman took her children there for picnics.
The Art of Moving On The birds were chirping, bees buzzing, cars zooming; The world was moving on after she left us. When my mother and I finally hauled the stubborn door open, the aroma of the 1930s rushed past us. I half expected to hear a t
By: Gisela Rosa Growing up with you was rainbows and smiles. Reading books aloud to you, doing my homework next to you, watching Bad Boys with you, makingjokes.
I loved to try on your clothes,
the cute crop tops and fuzzy socks.
I loved to sleep in your bed,
to play games on your laptop,
to eat tacos with you and
to talk to you,
She went at 53,
And took a part of me
She probably didn’t know I’d come
But, too bad, life played her like a drum.
Waking up is not fun,Especially if you have to run.Rushing from home to school Does not make me so cool,
Yet going to school will hopefully make me bloom.
She's dead and I'm gonna die
And this will all come to nothing, because I don't do things half way
This won't end peacefully
I might smile as I burn the things that I have to get rid of
The Wolf in the sky howled until he grew big enough to swallow the moon. And there was no light left but the stars which he could not reach.
Do you think I forgot about you?...Never...You are my baby...I will always be your mami, baby. I will always continue to sing you lullabies from my heart into the wind.
I loved you even though I didn't know you
I held you even though you were never in my arms
You were with me even though I didn't know it
Image by Vesna Kittelson
"Halt, friend.
Trouble not their moments passing
Death hath kissed their fellow gone
And now they have but not left
For it is here they wander on Earth
Reading excerpts of his cherished poems,
As the ocean breeze fluttered past our noses offering the smell of salty water,
He taught me many lessons.
Mama started goin’ gray some years ago.
Her body’s breakin’, or so she tells me
All damn night and all damn day as she cries.
I’ve got to agree; she never used to
Cry her eyes and ears off all the damn time.
Heart breaker she was, who's apth was littered with crimson dipped pieces of her past.
Every broken promise was like a knife to her heart.
On the day my sibling chose the rope
A woman came to the door
After dad cut him down
I listened to his chest
There was no beat
We live in a land of hurt,
a land of pain,
a land of passing.
Its throat is burnt,
its face is plain,
its lungs are gasping.
Sweep it off
and ignore the beast
I thought about you then
I wanted to fight for you
I didn't want it to end
I thought about you then
I wondered how you were doing,
I meant to call,
to tell you that I missed you
We dance, merry in a fortunate life
With lights flashing blue and green and red
Our only wish: that this will never end
A sentence without a terminal point
We are young. We are free in this great dance
I have a story to tell. It's not much, it's my two cents of what makes sense. I guess in retrospect it might not be much but it's who I am.
I walk to my home, the summer air is thick; surrounded by hallowed street lights and homes of made of brick
The streets I walk, normally awake with life, are empty and dull; not a cackle of laughter in my line of sight
Pouring down
In unrelenting sheets
Washing all
In its path
Battle-worn soldiers
Pellets of water
That are cold to the touch
Leaving numb traces
And mingling
With salty tears
The Breeze is flowing, following the day
The winds in my face, brushing all away
My amber eyes, are seeing clear
Guiding me straight, through all fear--
But I call, I call, and no one anwsers
Once my heart was full of petty things,
Like dolls with tufts of hair and wedding rings,
Today my heart is empty and hollow,
For the rest of my life, filled with sorrow,
People do not understand why
They stand shoulder to shouder
Forming a circle around the casket
Heads bowed in prayer
His daughter, the smallest of all
Only wanting the return of his life
Everyone there contains grief
When one close to you dies
You find yourself in a foreign place
Nothing feels the same
Nothing tasts the same
Nothing works the same.
I recognize the face in the mirror but
The darkness of this night envelopes me in its cruel hands
I'm swallowed in darkness - sinking into a black put that deflects light or even beauty
My heart is dashed into pieces
each becoming lost and forgotten.
Darkness is what you will see
When you follow the wrong crowd
Life will sadly pass you by
No one will want to come around
Your issues with substance abuse
Will put you on a path of nowhere
The breeze floats my way,
as I sit here on the bay.
I think of how much you'd love to be here.
When the time came for you to leave,
there was no warning before we took the plunge to grieve.
Alone and stranded on a bare-naked island,
no food, no water, no warm toasty bed.
The sunlight glares off the endless sea--
my eyes and reality have not yet met.
I watch the first sunrise, cursing my luck.
outstanding or buried deep down under cover of granite stalagmites.that grief so entirely lambasted & lamentedreprehensible- often i wished i could live without itbecause it is cruel& it is constant.
I was reaching for the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, a circadian morning medication for unadulterated energy that defined a young life unblemished by the discovery of coffee.
Tears, sobbing, falling.
Curled up, disappearing.
Fading, caught, captured.
Reaching, yearning, clinging.
A gentle hug, stroking, calm.
Then darkness, sleep…
But no, wait, no, wrong.
winter used to mean
angel feathers tickling
red noses and cheeks.
you'd want me to laugh
again, but all i feel on
my face are ashes.
A little dot here
A splash of color there
Just add a little bit of "omph" everywhere.
My soul has been unleashed
My attention must not cease
I want to forget; that is my silent prayer.
A rose is a rose
A heart is a heart
A mind is a mind
A soul is a soul
A person is a person
And no one can change that.
That in its self,
is a victory.
The news I heard was fast.
You looked like a doll.
You lay there in white,
A cross wrapped in your hand.
You do not look real.
You look like a doll.
Dear Kiersten,
I hope heaven isn't just full of angels.
I hope there are abundant ladybugs, majestic horses, and cuddly dogs.
I pray heaven is filled with beauty and song!
(In memory of Farrah)
Every day I hear the thunder clap.
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi,
I count the seconds until the lightning flashes.
I hear the pit-pat-pat on the rooftops,
For the girl whose laughter filled the room,
And the boy with the eyes, so brilliantly blue,
In the silent graves and the darkest tomb,
We in the starlight remember you.
We remember the way she splashed in the pool,
Today, the earth still spun and sun did rise;
The creeks still flow down from the mountain top.
The flowers bloomed and the sparrow still flies,
But still, to me, it seems it all has stopped.
Here's what you've been missing
After all these days
There's a rocking chair still sitting
Outside that she wishes wouldn't stay
Here's what you've been missing
Since you passed away
Je suis
Click, click
Black heels reverberate smoothly in sync with the
lithe body of a metal barrel
shining in the streetlights an omen
So I’m actually stranded here on this deserted islandIt’s kind of ironic how many times I played that game when I was youngerWhere you pick three objects to bring with youThe heat is unbearable
I don’t want to die
Not for the pain, but for the loss
I don’t want my absence to leave a gap in the cosmic fabric
I don’t want my family to leave flowers at a marble cross
I don’t want to die
It burns brighter than passion and higher than dreams
a red brain, holding so much more than it seems.
Beneath its front it boils and bubbles,
melting our most hideous troubles.
So this is how it ended...
Bullets are memories, so you ate one.
How does it feel?
You laid yourself down beneath the soil.
Won’t you wake up?
She traded scars for callouses,and silver stained fingertips,rubber shaving bits sticking to her shirt,she drew and wrote the pain away,for all that it was worth,
it is cold
the breathe she sighs
freezes
forming tiny clouds over her head;
an icy halo.
" so many letters..." she mutters,
"so many words just tossed away,
Sorrow
It pulses through me
Taking away my life
Taking away my friends
Welcoming my death
Death
I would find release
No more pain
No more hurting
Just nothing
Can you just get one more chance to embrace her?
Sadly, you just can not
Your mother is gone forever
You will just have to adjust as things come about
Remember the things that she taught you
Liz
It’s in the morning that I think of you
I can’t seem shake the feeling in my chest
Though I thought I was breaking through
Why do you push me away
When all I want to do is help?
Please let me help take care of you,
Since you cannot yourself.
You used to be so kind to me,
Now you won't let me in.
I can't win.
I sit in a room full of people,
Looking upon teary eyes and blotchy faces.
People who knew him longer than I,
Better than I,
Who shared jokes and stories and laughter and tears.
I listen as they speak,
We walked around with you in our halls
Always thought you were beautiful
Always thought you were fine
I guess it was a lie
I am
a little off
never quite
fitting in
mildly autistic
a little bit artistic
my childhood acidic.
I am young
the first time
I say I
wanna
die.
3 years 8 months and 4 days has gone by.1,343 days in total since I found out you were gone. Control was lost. Everyone was tearing up while the concept was lost. How are we able to heal after a death of a loved one?
Seventeen: Ten thousand voices grab me and swing me through the Autumn air as I try to figure out how I got to this college campus.
I walked in darkness today
My heart trembled
I thought of you and I shook
How can you touch me through time so clearly
YOU are the essence of my deepest secret heart
If I see a day, may I know the night
For in the darkness, you hold me tight
Carry on my sweetest soul
For tomorrow shall bring us closer still
And though,
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
My heart was consumed by lust
My heart ate up by desire
My heart burned upon a pyre
Love is lost, kindness gone
It Ain't Heaven till you get here
The stars are not as bright nor the moonlight as sweet
It is not the same until I find you in my arms
The air is damp and musty without you
From the darkness, I feel your hand
Reaching from the mists beyond
My heart fails, my mind paralyzed
The room is dark, sheers cross my face
A veil into the unknown
Grieves
Grieves the soul
Grieves the heart
Tarry not fool
Tarry not heart
Grieves
Grieves each thought
Grieves the mind
Tarry my soul
Do you truly understand grief?
It is what makes you set an empty chair beside you on dark nights, memories of a passed loved one.
Grief
My life, a book closed
I reflect, heartbroken
Beloved, misjudged
My fingers
They grace your face
Tears fall
Empty dreams, false hopes
Why must suffering even exist,That of whih I've been forced to feel?Why must the pain continue to persist?Oh, my soul shall never heal!That night, my friends, it just had to rain
As I look all around me,
I think of everything happening
and weep; I thought I was free,
but it seems I am returning;
to the thing painful to be,
made of emotion constantly turning.
Rage against the dying world,
Rage against the light,
Rage against the sorrows that bar my heart from flight.
The morning left me winded,
The evening left me bare,
Setting in the dark head full of thoughts the voices are screaming and screaming who are you?
Do you even recognize this horrible being you call yourself?
You told me I was beautiful
You said I made you smile
You said, “Take care,”
“Be happy, child.”
I ran your hand through my hair
You said you loved it short
It’s longer than it was
I remember it as the day the stars had all hung themselves. The day the wind didn't shake me. The day God died. The day we buried you.
I had a baby.
Almost.
I had an almost baby.
An almost life of diapers, bottles, little fingers and toes.
I almost chose that.
Almost.
It was forty-four years ago today when I left your womb.Your death has brought about tears, despair and gloom.Usually pregnancies last nine months but you had a longer wait.
I sit here as a child
watching the eyes that once smiled
blink out
Doubt
fills my mind
as I try to find a rhyme
that explains
this sadness ripping into me like rain
rips the sun
Darkened is the mind's vision when grievingCrawling about, looking for luster.Unsure of your purpose, you tryand mend the pieces-- clingingto the fragile ideaof logic, reason.Vision finite
Dreams are just DreamsUntil you make them soarA Wish is just a WishUntil you fight to make it happen
I cherish the silence, hearing naught but the breeze
As golden sunlight filters down through the autumn leaves.
Peace fills my heart as I take in the comfort
This one is dedicated to
The sons and daughters whose existence
Depends on three simple words:
Get.
Over.
It.
It being them, them causing grief,
A calming sense of silent solitude
washed over her like the waves that stroke
each grain of sand.
The rays beat down upon her pure skin
Her words were never heard
they were never spoken.
She created her own language
through her eyes, her vibrant sapphire eyes.
We grew up together, her and I...
and yet she never really grew up,
Slash at my arms, my legs, my throat
What God is there to pray to
that creates such emotions as this.
I pray.
To not feel, I search for a void to
I search for a void
I search for
Insipred by the 2012 Waldo Canyon and 2013 Black Forest fires in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
As the days pass,
each one harder than the last,
Not a single day passes,
in which my mind relaxes,
You're running through it all day,
my throat still clenches,
before every word I say.
Now that you're gone,
I sit here and wait,
You've been away too long,
I'm still expecting to hear you come in late.
In the middle of the night,
you tend to cross my mind,
Good grief
Why is it hard to find hope?
I haven't smiled in a minute
This darkness ain't a joke
Been trying to find light, but the switch done broke
Crawling around trying to feel for a lamp
i still find your hairs on my pillow and i stillthink of you when i open the doori still manage to worry if i've left any papers on my floori still sneeze as much as i didwhen you were around
When I feel like I am just playing the part,
I turn and listen to the rhythym of my heart.
Each beat lets me know I am still alive,
Every day I have a reason to strive.
Life has a terrible beauty,
When I look at you I don’t just see some sad, lost girl,
I see someone beautiful, who makes my world melt when she smiles,
I see someone whose laugh just makes me want to laugh right along with you.
My heart aches for his touch
The one I never felt
For his words
The ones I got to read
For his voice
That sweet angelic sound
He's like a drug
Addicting
No matter how long I'm clean
Death is such a strange thing. There are people who will have know the person really well. They will express their grief either by crying or by some other form. Then there are other people who will either vaguely know the person or not all.
Pensive, Paralyzed
Hopeful, Stardazed
Each love a new hope
The pain of one’s own heart beat
Each time completely lost
Each time completely given
Pain, vulnerability, longing, grief
A tear, a whisper
A shout, a cry
No one seems to hear
No one is by your side.
Everyone is oblivious until it's too late,
Another angel has been sent back too soon.
Driving home that rainy night, Everything was normal, everything was right.I turned the same way I always do,quickly running out of time before curfew!Almost home, just a few miles to go,
Everything you feel, it's all in your mind
Overwelming thoughts leads one to be blind
The danger is real, but fear is a choice
Save yourself from all of that noise
Stop! Don't think,Just breathe,It's over,He's gone,He can't see you cry, Deep BreathStop: the tears,The lies,The pain,The regret,The blame, Deep Breath
Why must we sustain ourselves and reframe ourselves to bes the perfect image of what others defines as perfect?
When I was born you were next to me,
Then I grew and you gave me your hand,
I remember your look,your dreams, your eyes shined they could talk.
Something happened that Autumn your laughter was lost
I've always told myslef to be strong
But what do I do on those days
when the tears total to a tsunami;
overflowing and chaotic, unable to control
I feel your presence, when the grass shakes a shiver
That’s when everyone hides and everyone covers
You paint sinister lines over clouds of silver
Sarah had a little lamb,guarded in pink meadows.A young forebearer, no doubt.A deserted motherseeking to conquer the cosmos.
I can see it all.
The downfall of men.
The inevitable destruction
of all we once
held close.
There is nothing we can do,
but watch.
Watch as all the hope,
comforts,
“The truth will always come out” they say
It happened on that cold rainy day
When Granddad passed away
Not related by blood but by marriage
The previous year
My late grandma turned to ashes
You killed my confidence and left me crawling—
Not that I was old enough to know before
That it’s okay to love myself and someone else
At the same time with nothing to be sorry for.
I lost my shadow,
I lost my friends,
Even my reflection is running away.
What did I do to scare you?
I was always nice, always generous,
I gave you everything I had
Sweet child, why have you left these green fields,Tall trees and swaying buildings beckon.Your chilled palms mock my burning cheeks,They'll never grab for fallen sticks and running hares
I cry when no one's watching.
So they never hear my tears.
I wait 'til they have gone,
'til it's silent.
'til the silence screams
at me.
I yell back.
And cry.
The light burns bright
in this dark excuse of a room.
There's so much fight
Amidst the grief and gloom.
Optimism engulfs the wife
Whose lost her groom.
Though her heart feels strife
Dearest lover,
I awoke this morning to find you had gone.
No note,
No flower,
No sign of your existence at all
Except for the sour taste on my tongue
“I had a family once,” muttered the old man through his gruff and straggled beard, in the tone bearing the remnants of a great tragedy that ripped out a piece of him, strewn across the desert and left to dry.
It was a cold March day
That's when I got the call
And I hadn't had much to say
But then I started to bawl
You are gone, not physically here anymore.
I know this; people do not have to remind me anymore.
I know you left me, I know it happened.
But everyone tells me you are here in my heart.
We were two minds into oneYour fight was mineMy tears shed through your eyesWe believed that our strings would never be cutUntil I shredded it to peices and walked away
The pain of misfortune
Is one that’s bitter
One that’s sharp
Not something that would be played
On an angels harp
Its more like the devil
Coming back from the fiery hell
Together is where I thought we would always be,
until that day you were snatched away from me.
Sitting on this rock,
watching the waves,
Remembering the days.
The day I met you,
I don't
understand
what it feel like
for someone close to die.
I can sympathize.
I am unable to empathize.
My hand is held out;
I love you,
I do.
Sometimes I think you are here
It is in little, subtle movements and noises that force me to question if you are still on earth
I cannot see you, only in pictures
At ten years old,
Little did I know that a hospice was a place to die.
It sounded like hospital.
Just take off the a, the l, the t,
And tack on an extra c and e.
I thought it was another place to get better,
It was quite..just for a second, forgot about everything that was surrounding me,I felt myself struggling to move my feet because I was so weak at the knees.I could still hear the echoing of her voice..her beautiful voice,I could still feel her w
I see my daddy in heaven, right next to gram,
They see me,
They know.
I don't really see them.
Its in times like these that I wish I had you right by me to hold me, comfort me & tell me everything is gonna be okay
Your eyes,
red and swollen,
your eyes set to kill
lock on me.
Why me?
Why Me.........
I used to fall asleep, head brushing fur
to the gentle melody of your steady purr
And I can still remember exactly how it felt
warm and safe and comforted, my head on your pelt
IT’S A girlThe three deadliest words in the world.So many keep disappearing just because of the flip of the coin.
Being smacked down
Before being allowed to get back up again
Taught me something very valuable about love:
it isn’t always a cliché
She shine like a star,
I've given the shatter lights
Blind by my lust of blood
Gloom through my shadow lung
Thus, no words has come up
I yelled, I screamed, I shouted
I... Was in my nightmare
Tock
Tock
Wash your hands.
Remember: paper, lines, game.
Paper: history, English
O.
Did I lock my car?
Memorize your lines
Rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal.
Caught off guard;
Shock held silent grip;
A few sniffles emerged;
Red cups in a fence with a bouquet
Spelling the words
RIP Spez.
For the first time
Teachers sobed openly in front
When I was young and you were younger,
We laughed and had a grand old time.
When I was young and you were younger,
We thought we were invincible.
When I was young and you were younger,
Burning
Stinging
Fire
It hurts
Salty
Crashing
Waves
Spill upon the rainbow
Trails of black
Snake their way downhill
Cool
He had been 'reading' for
As long as he could remember.
His mother's voice was soothing to his ears
As it washed over them in a soft, murmuring tone.
A tone that was betrayed almost every time
Literature is as necessary to the mind as oxygen to the body,
Reading helps the brain develop and imagination soar.
Ranging from an ironic drama to a jocular comedy,
Literature has several shapes, sizes and form.
Not a geniuine, honest comprehension,
Only pity and "empathy",
but why empathy if they don't understand or feel with me?
Gradually becoming one with this shattered emotion acceptably,
People keep staring
I just look to the floor
Strangers start talking
a few more steps to the door.
Beep.. Beep.. Beep.
Heart racing; too much noise
Cheery smile, happy face.
You asked me if I sang,
do you remember?
And you berated me for the
foolish nonsense on the frail floors?
Those below could hear my noise?
And you prepared the suppers we devoured
I blame you
I blame you for the whiskey not burning more
I blame you for the weed not making me forget
And for the cuts not bleeding enough
I blame you for the good days and the bad days
I wait
I sit there and wait as life passes me by
Still wishing that it could all be a joke
Time heals all wounds is a famous lie
You just learn to cope
I'm waiting
One... Two...
I love you and I don't know what to do
Three... Four...
Fear is at my very core and you can't escape this hot war
Five... Six...
I don't have a bag of tricks and I'm sorry, there is no fix
Unbreakable, that's what I thought you were.
Never sick a day in your life until after daddy died.
Cancer wasn't supposed to take you away like that.
Finishing a case of beer was never a problem for you
As you always practiced emptying the bottles during your free time.
The different you that I despised came out as you became drunk.
When people and life give you grief
there is some advice you always receive:
“Take it with a grain of salt,” they say.
It’s such a cliché.
And what they don’t tell you
I feel it, I sense it. It targets all my veins and reactions. My heart stops for a while and I can't breathe. I suddenly start to drop and watch as the Sun eclipse before my eyes. This is my pain. Can you feel it too ?
Sometimes I'm talking to everybody when I say why, why, why?
And somtimes I'm talking to no one at all because I don't want
your mellow-toned condolences.
I'm scared I don't feel enough, but
A word to my loved ones
Who still walk this earth:
Do not cry for me
For this body is only a shell
Rather, laugh with me in the breeze
Smile with me in the sunshine
Drift with me on the tide
As i stared out into the ocean,
my feet covered by the sand,
my rope-twisted hair danced gently in the breeze.
Then I remembered how this beautiful expanse of royal blue and green
had been....
I grow weary with every step I take,
down the endless broken path.
My head grows heavy with every breath,
my vision blurring through a swarm of tears.
Mami found a picture of us today.You were smiling as five year old mekissed your cheek.I want to smile, but all I can dois dwell on how cruel I could be to you.I wish I could tell nine year old me
You held me in your arms and told me
It would be okay. It’s not.
Its been a year since I saw you last.
I always know how long it’s been.
A year seems like an eternity
How can a box so small
Hold an entire person?
How can it hold 3 months
Of memories, happiness and life?
Holding Amelia
On the bed with mom at the hospital
“Did you hear?
Nothing else matters right now.
I don’t care who is looking.”
He nods his head and I can’t help but fall apart.
I don’t even try to talk, because a my throat swells in sorrow
RIP 1921-2013 Though my body, broken and batteredHas long since faded away,My mind and soul and heartAre vivid and shall not decay. Though my bones may moan in protestOr my limbs cry out in pain,My spirit is as young as ever,For never shall I wane
And it's really sad, how this all worked out.
I watched the scene alter, watched it all fall down.
With a tear or two, maybe three.
I can feel them drowning, or is it me?
Nick was a young man with an eager heart
that he gave away willingly
to the kind natured Sarah
They planned out their lives
each second with each other
and with him came a boy
with wide eyes so blue
A line, a queue, is distance ‘tween two points.
While the future end of ours did not change,
It grew back where we stepped in, human joints.
Two hundred souls we saw within our range.
Pain.It strikes quicklyalmost unnoticedalmost unfelt.It settles in stages-A fear, a sadness,you shiver, you shakeyou feel the heart quakecrumblethe feeling sinks in
I’ll Never See Your Face Again
I close my eyes and try to remember your face
Every detail
Every shade
The pain swells up as I know
I will never see that face again.
Here lies the woman of dreams who escaped turmoil on the high of laughter, plummeted into the stories sung by written words and tears, and danced in imaginary lands while cowering from the sun.
soft fur
fat cat
from twenty pounds
to ten
at twelve years old
and still a fat cat
in my mind
with baggy skin
who can't eat
and softer fur
protuding bones
watery eyes
As I stand here, at Ground ZeroI reflect on what happened all those years agoSo many bitter memories on my mindFrom the day I escaped with just my lifeI should be a dead man, I shouldn't be alive
Twist and turn,
My body will yearn.
Your presence is always near
Don't tell me you are not here.
So open your mind and dive into the shallow waters of your heart
You'll create a sort of dark-art
Do the dying know that they are the dying?
I mean those who aren’t terminally ill
with ‘best before’ dates stamped on their bodies.
Those who can’t schedule their own funerals,
I do not think that I can excuse myself
From the never-ending cataclysmic cycle
In which I switch between the various stages
Of love and grief and self-deprivation and narcissism
I lie in bed at night
Thinking of what might have been.
I dream of white gowns and blue flowers.
Imagning all the whens.
But the whens never come because the ifs happened instead.
I have to re learn
to write
because my words got knocked out of my mouth
my teeth
they no longer speak
They harbor mice
and those mice
carry my teeth in their bellies
The trees are budding and all is brand new.
Yet the sorrow I'm feeling is so strong.
I wonder around my thoughts just of you.
Hoping this feeling won't last very long.
Praying for sleep after a warm bath,
lavender tea, chocolate jelly beans,
things meant to dull pain.
My hair is sopping, bleeding into my pillow
the pillow with the little angels on it.
Fitting.
Blood exits my veins,
Like a rushing river current.
Bile rises in my throat,
Ready to explode from my mouth.
I recognize sadness
Radiating from my mother
In the form of red, puffy eyes.
Soldier
By Sophie Leveille
He’s undeniably dead,
Suddenly gone,
And never coming back.
He fell to the floor without a second thought.
No wish or cry can resuscitate him.
J'aimerais que tu saches
Je pense à toi
Tu me manques
J'aimerais que tu saches
J'aimerais que tu saches
Je rêve, j’espère
Se voir, se parler
J'aimerais que tu saches
A moment, stuck in the breath of a lost memory.
It's cold and will not breath the same again.
A heart is frozen, wrapped in born sadness of lost words.
DEARLY DEPART MY TEARS FALL FOR YOU
YOU LEFT ME HEAR IN THE DARK
WITHOUT A HAND TO HOLD
WITH ALL THE THINGS I NEVER TOLD
DEARLY DEPARTED YOU LEFT SO SOON
YET YOUR FACE STILL LOOMS
I should have sat next to your bed
When the air was full of dread.
I should have listened to your sorrow,
But instead I said tomorrow.
I should have gave you comfort,
In your time of need,
Clockwork heart.
Wind it up
and off it goes.
Don't get too close,
or it might explode.
Dormant, it lies,
therefore unscathed.
It one was new,
pure, whole, expectant.
The beauty of dawn, the beauty of day,
Like my love, washed away.
The beauty of dusk, the beauty of night,
Like my love, gone from sight.
Like Homer's heroes, like Vigil's men,
And how do we comfort
those who are left?
Those with life?
Those with breath?
Can you see
the shining light
flicker out
and slowly die?
That is their hope,
that is their dreams,
My emotions remained bottled
When the loss broke my heart
My one and only mother
Had went on above when I was just 16
My voice was quiet for a while
The pen and pad became my vocal chords,
War is a terrible monster,
it devours everything in its path,
and leaves only destruction and ruin behind.
War is like a spider,
it waits for countries to become ensnared
Perfect flowers do exist.
But only where the good people are.
When I close my eyes at night—
I like to think that only then am I waking up—and everything else is a dream.
I sat there
Unworried, stress free
Or in other words calm and collected about the whole situation
Determined, expecting
Looking past the affection
Only concerned about our connection.
Words that tortureWords that blessWhat shall put my thoughts to rest?
Heart held captiveBy the mindFeelings ever left confined
Words that tortureWords that hauntConsequence of fate unkind
I traumatize myselfMy white wallsAnxiety hovers over me
when patients and people enter
2002It started when she was nine years old,her grandfather was laying there in his hospital bed.
It’s been a while since
I saw you last
I don’t know what you’d say
To me.
I hope you’d be proud
Of me –
But there’s no way to know.
Five years since
I saw you last
Cancer,
i had heard about it,
learned about it at school,
thought it was the most boring thing ever.
now Cancer,
is a part of my family.
just over two years ago,
bullets streamingclashing minds,killing his and bruising mine,tearing us apart andbreaking timeheart stopped,glitching minda vessel of thoughts ran dry,no love, no trust
Here I sit, ah this black chalice
so alone, and silence embracing my
every thought,every emotion.
Days are cold,
and nights will dew.
Time is passed,
memories crude.
A morte recalls,
that sweet distort.
I envy peace,
desire heart.
You weren't perfect
I'm not either
But we made each other smile
We made the time count
Now it's all gone
No more you
No more us
So I just sit here
Writing poem after poem
It's not a burning sensation
More like a puffing
As though you wish to look down
See your eyes fall out of their sockets
ShatteredLittle droplets of my heartSplatter on the floorMixed with splintersOf my sanityI grasp the edgeAs I sinkMelting under thePressureA spoonful of acidReplacing the sugar
My Mother seems so far away from me,
On that beautiful white shore across the sea.
Yet I remember love’s soft glow upon her face,
And the feel of her touch and tender embrace.
As I kicked the tiny, gray pebble in the street, walking home from the park, all I could think about was the fact that I needed to get home right away.
The sun rises another morning,
And I kiss the moon goodbye.
I think about the sweet times
we had together, until you died.
It's been three years now
since I last held your hand.
Losing you?
I write for the women before me
Who had no rights to express their thoughts
Oppressed through the generations
Until someone took a stand
Expectation is experience laced with arrogance.
I would be lying to you if I told you that I expected this.
Because of this, the impact was cushioned by a pathetic surrender to a philosophy of acceptance.
Maybe life goes on, even with you gone,
Maybe this is how it's supposed to be.
Like sunshine you'll follow me wherever I go
Even through the fog and the cloudy days.
Our life is Fragile, our life is short
So when life took you I didn't know where to go
I found myself visiting the places we’d been
Reminiscing of the times you stood next to me
The more I remembered the more I cried
"A Father's Farewell"
The final day unknown,
When hate transforms to tears,
Farewell.
The indestructible bond like duct tape rips,
As time intoxicates a heart so vile.
Coal black attacks like razor knives,
And grips and rips your dreams good-bye.
It calls your name—oh countless lives
Have no known clue what myst’ries lie.
A teacher asked:
What is Death?
And the student answered:
Death
is that state where one
lives only in the memories of others.
Some see it as
a changing into an
indestructible form,
Give me your pain
every ounce of it
Drop every single drop into my mouth
Let me taste it
swallow it, consume it
When your pain is in me, you are in me
I am you, but you are not me.
Thursday morning, just like any other
I wake up. the vibe is different.
I have yet to find out, but
something is wrong
Sadness floats around me
Hovering
Always with me.
Like mist,
It creeps over me
Settles down and suffocates me.
The fog of depression hides the sight of happiness.
The shadows are dark,
There is always a gloomy day
where you wanna lay in the rain
When you lose someone
a part of you brakes away
Numb is
always my
emotion
I've become
so bland
nothing
effects me
anymore
I only cry
to know
I'm still
alive and
because I
know they're
right.
Like a wave crashed down
The tide pulled my soul
My sister so dear
Never made it to old
The emptiness grows
The pain won’t subside
The unseen affects
When you commit suicide
Awoken.
It was 3:11a.m.
The girl stared off into the darkness.
The dark hallway disappeared beyond the border.
Ring. Ring. Ring
The thought of worry twisted back into her mind.
Everything's changed
But then again, it's still the same
With the loss of a loved one
There are wishes for it to be undone
To be redone over again
With one last chance to say goodbye
If I took a step back to a time where my mother was before my eyes I would never had guessed I would take such a road a road that is so dark and gloomy it becomes ordinary to ones eyes till finally smacked by my own reality a glimpse to the inside
Sitting high atop her perch
Brunette locks fly across her somber eyes
Gazing down from the tree tops
Lights of crimson and white appear
Get away from me.
I don't want you to visit again.
Last time nearly killed me.
The pain; the crying.
The worthlessness.
We will never be satisfied.
It is against human nature
To be content with what we have in our lives.
Everyone wants more.
Because I did not die,
I mourn.
And I realized
Heaven does not discriminate age.
Three times,
I held his hand.
Watched him slip.
And three times the gun-men fired.
Sometimes I want to dive in to greet the bottom of the ocean floor
Sometimes I want to jump off to see what lies in the concrete.
Sometimes I want to drink because I am curious about what hides at the bottom of the bottle
A dark hole called home, but it's not even mine.
Not living only existing, no hope, no worth, dealing with what I've been dealt.
Keep it all inside, the words inside my mouth. We'll all be the same, lying in the dirt.
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
It’s the shriek that wakes me.
A piercing, horrifying shriek that invades my peace
Like an unconcerned army marching blindly under the control of unknown generals,
I'm dangling on the rail of a hospital bed
Clinging to you and the life you have left and
Somewhere in between hushed breaths and the unnerving hum of the air mattress
I’ve loved a few people
That have moved on
From this world
This existence
This space
To another
Somewhere
Far away
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
"But Mom, you're dead," When you meet in your dreams.
Your eyes begin welling, hot and wet at the seams.
For a moment in time, in a dream's snug deceit,
thin, smokey angels hold you in sleep
Memories of you fill my mind.
My heart aches and tears fall from my eyes.
I miss you more than words can express.
And I cry as you're laid to rest.
Sometimes I feel so sad and alone,
I've got two guardian angels watching over me.
One is named grandma and the other daddy.
Both were loved so dearly and nothing brought them down.
They were both so strong and lived their lives proud.
Oh how I wish I could turn back time
To when you were still here, still alive
I miss you more and more each day
And nothing will ever be the same
I can hardly cope with this pain
Whenever I see somebody with their dad,
I feel so very sad.
I miss you more than words can express,
And I cry more than the rest.
I don't know what to do now that you are gone.
How will I ever move on?
Life is not so easy now that you are gone
I cry every night for I am not as strong
I wish you were still here with me right now
But I know it is better that you flew up through the clouds
Art is truth,
Or so it's been said.
I'd say that's up to you.
Nature makes art.
I know that art is truth.
I saw it today.
On some beaches,
There are two kinds of sand.
I don’t know how much
Corpses can hear,
But if you’re hearing,
Some things must be made clear
After this first year.
As a child
In grammar school
I wondered if a comma is
Any similar to a coma,
As an adult
Having watched my father
ride that frozen black bull
too slowly into that
Goodnight moon
Everyone around me is losing their lives
Doesnt anyone see the grief in my eyes?
What are all these feelings that are combining?
Most of these feelings that have been hiding.
Inside me there's a life
I may not give
the chance
To live nor
To be a kid
Nor To grow big
I feel you baby
Mommy is here
Yet please my child
Understand
This world is evil
if darkness is night and morning is light
ill take all the dark
and bring You to My light
if spirits fly and bodies weep
ill give Your body
strength to sleep
if wills do bend and bleed and break
I feel a strong presence of grief
And the heartbroken
Spirit that has been deceive
My painful heart beats fasten
