3 years 8 months and 4 days has gone by.1,343 days in total since I found out you were gone. Control was lost. Everyone was tearing up while the concept was lost. How are we able to heal after a death of a loved one? Some took it better than most, took it better than I did. Off the handle, pissed off at the world, and was loosing a faith in a god. If he was real why would he take you away from all of us? Watching my grandpa fall apart was the hardest. Seen him everyday afterwards, falling into confusion,  it was hard to watch. No one else seen it but my dad and I. Why did you choose to go like that? There was help for you, all you had to do was say something, say you were in pain, you made us go to the docter if we were in pain. This was you favorite time of the year, this was around the time of year you met your soulmate.You were the one who helped heal scraped knees, school problems, or if I wasn't feeling well. 3 years, 8 months, and 4 days I was forced to say good bye. This is something I will never  forget. I couldn't say goodbye and now I will never get the chance again. I want to talk to you but how can you communicate with the dead?