Day One:

This morning I woke up crying

I miss you

I couldn’t talk to all the well-wishers

I couldn’t even talk to my mom

I miss you

Day Ten:

Does the pain ever leave?

I miss having you next to me in bed

I miss your warmth

I miss your love

I miss you

Why doesn’t the pain go away?

Day 17:

I talk to you sometimes, you know

When I make dinner,

I get your opinion

Do you want to steaks medium or rare?

I miss you

Day 20:

Ms. Whitmore came over today

Do you remember her?

You always said she was too nosey for her own good

I wanted to laugh about it with you

I miss your humor

I miss you

Day 28:

It’s been almost a month now

The pain is still here

Still just as strong

Why doesn’t it go away?

Will it ever?

I miss you

Day 34:

I smiled today

Is that a bad thing?

I feel like I’m betraying you

I know you loved my smile

So I want to keep it just for you

I miss you

Still

Day 68:

I spoke to your brother today

He sounds so much like you

I thought it would be comforting

But it just hurts

He smiles like you too

That hurts

He laughs like you

That hurts too

Why won’t the pain go away?

I miss you

Day 99:

I laughed today.

It wasn’t loud,

But I did it

Mom was shocked

I didn’t feel guilty

Is that OK?

It still hurts

I miss you

Day 365:

It’s been a whole year

I visited your grave today

I left you a note

The pain has lessened

Is that a bad thing?

I miss you

Always

Day 600:

I’ve been laughing now

And smiling at jokes

Sometimes I’ll visit your family

Sometimes I go for walks by the river

I still miss you

I still remember you

But it doesn’t hurt as much

I don’t think that’s a bad thing

I’m not over you

But I’m past the worst of the pain

I still miss you

But I’m getting better

I still miss you

But I’m living again

I still miss you

But you wouldn’t want me to live my life like this

I know that

I love you

Still.

Always.

Forever.