Often times we think of grief in stages. I like to think about it as waves. Up and down it goes, never finding a home base to land. Never asking you to take your hand and dance. 

Gliding you along the floor, dipping you and spinning you into a whirl of emotion. 

devotion to the cause at hand. No longer giving you a chance to ask yourself why. 

The feelings never seem to die, and please God don’t give grief a time. 

She won’t follow through, asking you to swallow from the hand that feeds you. Leading  you down a path of  subdue. All to bring it back up again, yanking you back and forth again. 

Denial blows right through you. Wondering if you accept or reject the ultimate fate lain before you. 

Do you understand what’s in front of you? 

Her life is gone, and you’re having fun.. wipe that smile off your face we have just begun. 

Don’t laugh, don’t cry, don’t relax, don’t run. 

Remember this pain and bring it near and dear to your heart. 

Grief is now your partner, you’ll never actually get away from her. This is where she wants to stay, lying underneath you. Wondering when she will remind you she exists. Balling up a fist at the sight of your acceptance. Longing for your rejection. Remember this is not your eternal heaven. 

You will be near her, never too far apart. She’s one step ahead of you, and often times above you hanging over your head like a rain cloud. 

Remember to keep your head down, 

Surly you will begin to drown, 

Remembering the pads of her fingers the longer they linger on your shoulder. 

Telling you not to be happy, not to be anything but ready. Experience the experience, live when she lives, breathe when she breaths, Seethe when she seethes , but leave when she leaves. Don’t be, just see. Grief.