parents
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I was bred into chaos and catastrophe
Torn down by hands that were meant to raise me
Can't face the truth so they turned their backs perpetually
Lest I remind them that they should feel guilty
I will not write you an apology or a eulogy or even a love poem
I will not write you a thank you note or a permission slip or ever an obituary.
I will apologize when I am sorry
And I am not sorry
i met the devil last night
she wore my face
and had slinked on my body like a coat
she looked like myself,
though a few years younger
This Christmas Season, I wish my parents were still around.But they both died in 2013 and they're buried in the ground.The last Christmas I spent with them was almost a decade ago.
They say our generation tries to grow up too fast
But we live in a world where we are to live to others’ expectations and grow up.
Good night my little wee oneIt's time to close your eyesIf you'll but wait till morningYou'll get a big surpriseThe sun will smile and greet youIn ever changing skiesFor mom and daddy love you
With each years' dawn I'm leaning toward a shoulder's setting sun
For each new breath of life, we must embrace the lies we've sung
When I am lonely,
Or need someone to talk to,
I know you are there.
You really try your best to understand;
We always come up with a solution.
You get mad at me,
I get mad at you,
Nine days back turned I 28
Today you went away
Though rarely you made your presence
Which felt so strange and out of place
And it's Corona and no friends to pay
the last to you of farewells
My parentsMake neat assignments for meSet alarms for every periodGive me designated eating timesSleeping timesBreathing timesOrganize color coded schedulesWith prim and properDigital lines
...(I needa) Free my Mind, Find Some Time, (And) Take a Breath of Fresh Air, (A Space) Away from this Place, (And) Nothing to Follow Me There.
You are my rock
And I am Sisyphus.
We share sizes and blue eyes;
I am bound to you.
You are my rock,
with a mind of shale you prise
for the fool’s gold beneath;
I return to you.
You are my rock
And I am Sisyphus.
We share sizes and blue eyes;
I am bound to you.
You are my rock,
with a mind of shale you prise
for the fool’s gold beneath;
I return to you.
Something bad happened in 1990 on the 28th of May.It turned out not to be such a great Memorial Day.I saw a very beautiful girl who looked like she was sixteen or seventeen.
Alice slept to the sound of lullabies
In her sister’s lap
But I have to sleep to your allegations,
Blames and insults
Thrown at each other
Like arrows
And I hurting crossfire
Without my parents, I wouldn’t be here,
That’s obvious, but I mean something else.
If they didn’t come here from over there,
To all that you've given me, all that you've done, I turn back and say "you've always been my number one."
Set the table, wash the dishes,
Pour the water, say the prayer.
You bury every worry because you know it’s not yours to bare.
Keep a quarter in your pocket, sure to make us smile
The strength in Mama's hands as she bakes
The strength in Daddy's mind as he takes
a risk for the family.
The crease in Grandma's brow as she knows
The crease in baby's face as he grows
to learn about family.
Everyday, I see inspirational figures all around me,
People doing great things, every single day,
Overcoming their greatest failures, conquering their fears,
I kickstarted your heart, Benz.
Pushed your fetal blood in the right direction,
connected your neurons.
The foam in your infant lungs,
I turned that into oxygen.
Mother,
You gave me life,
You gave me love,
You gave me confidence,
Mother,
You pulled away from me,
Mother,
You left me for something else,
You disappeared for years,
Dear Parents,
You raised me from a babe
It’s something I don’t know why you would put yourself through
But you did it for me and for that,
I am made of stone.
The years have eroded me into what I am,
A poet,
A daughter.
Carved by the finest of artists,
Divorce is a sinking ship.
The sea parts with crashing waves.
A tsunami of destruction that floods over every part of your life.
Dad..
You left me drowning.
How messed up is it that we live in a world
Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls
Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
We were about to move
again
And he said we needed to paint the garage
He didn’t explain why
but he never does
i jumped on my bike as fast as i could
but not fast enough, it did me no good
the bully kid was big and mean and acted very tough
laughing all the while he quickly knocked me on my duff
.
I climb out my window just to see if I can.
My parents used to be police officers, no joke,
yet here I am in the clubhouse of a legitimate gang.
It was difficult to hear at such a young age.
She should’ve known it was bound to happen.
They weren’t happy anymore.
Swirling, swaying, spinning in time to the blaring music
I close my eyes
When they open, I’m a little girl
No is a word meant for me.
No, it doesn’t bother me
No, don’t speak up
No, you cause too many issues
No, who are you to tell people what is okay?
My mother always caressed my hands,
and I was always warmer than her.
It was hard for me to understand,
but warm hands are what most people prefer.
When I was 10 , I realize how different my parents were. They were older
so I knew , one day I would have to be young , without the leadership
of my parents . I soon found out that I am a miracle child .
All throughout the years,
both my mother and father
have helped me grow.
When I had fallen
they would have picked me back up.
I love my parents.
The mother walked into her home,
Not expecting her story to be told in a poem.
But her life took a turn that day,
There was no way
It was 9 o’clock
I was 9
My mom said
“come on girls, I guess it’s time”
She sat us down
and held her breath
and with a big sigh
She looked at us and said
Off you go, daughter
To a land of your own
For you and yours
To glow, and grow
I love you, and I love you too
"You aren't my mother."
Such a foolish thing to say.
But as a child,
How could I know better?
Tears formed in your eyes
And your cheeks became red.
You were hurt, in pain.
I see your guilt through tired eyes,
Two bloodshot victims of countless nights
Expressing dejection in bitter solitude.
I smell your fear through a raw nose,
I looked up to you
You were my world
I wanted to make you happy
When I found out your weren't
I didn't want to be happy
I wanted to be sad
I tried to feel bad
I tried to make you feel glad
finally found someone who makes me happy,
so why cant mom just be happy for me
she doesnt even know him and she chooses to hate
is there something im not seeing
As the time continues to go by
Without us knowing, the clock is slowly ticking
Our energy depletes after the end of a day
And in the morning we start the same routine all over again
“Just Grow Up,”...
Three little words,
I’ve never heard from my parents.
“Just Grow Up,”
three little words,
I had to tell myself.
It was my moral duty to operate and in many people's eyes, I was admired.I did what needed to be done and because of that, I was fired.Four years ago, a baby was born with Down Syndrome and he had a heart defect.
Sometimes I need space
The invisible leash tugs on my neck
I feel like I’m suffocating, breaking
I’m breaking under the weight of expectations
Robbed of a sweet childhood,
you stole my innocence.
I wanted to save you
and you punished me for loving you.
I wanted to take your pain away,
you wanted to intensify my heartache.
Hope is a magical word,
Happiness fluttering aghast in the wind
Blowing fears and uncertainty behind me
I see a world reborn
Relentless to strife
As if it has cut away my anxiety like a knife
Dear mom,
I’m tired of your games,
Tired of you telling me that I will never make it.
You never know my true thoughts
And I refuse to share them with you,
her words,
shatter my resolve like ice
smashing my hope to bits and pieces
she says I'm over reacting
inventing things to finally make friends
this isn't how it ends
I moved to this neighborhood forty-two years ago today.I moved here six months before Elvis Presley passed away.Crosby Park is the name of my neighborhood.I've been here for a long time and I'll be here for good.
I remember the screams
Of my youngest sister as she tried to sleep. Whose screams
Concealed hushed, conspiring whispers. I remember too the leaves that swallowed
During my glory moments
You are not there.
During my breaking points
You are not there.
During my life
You are not there.
You have claimed to raise mec
I remember the little girl she used to be
in her bright tutus and soft-footed slippers.
She would stand on my feet as we waltzed,
which I couldn't do as well as I pretended.
Parents think they know us. Because they once were one of us. Young, and immature. They think we have the same intentions and the same ideas rolling through our minds as though there is a young version of them burning inside of us.
You who I trusted with all I had
You who I acepted, no questions asked
You betrayed me, and didn't look back
Why did you torment me with lies and deceit
I loved you and I thought you didn't want to hurt me
The bottle hits the floor.
Shatters.
My sister begs for no more.
Spirit shatters.
I reach up in the air for the lord.
But my faith shatters.
I look at him
And he looks back at me
And I know we remember
I know we are both thinking of that time
Different pages
Same plot
Today you are 50 years-old
Symbolic of the precious gold
A daughter, a sister, a mother a wife
Today is a day to reflect upon your life
Some days you want to cry, some days you live in fear
He didn't have to shell out money
on a child that was not his own
but he did
he didn't have to give food from his own mouth
to a child from a woman who fought him tooth and nail
but he did
I stand in a place that I've been once before,
A garden of sadness that's watered with tears,
A plot in the earth where I made an exchange:
I buried my hopes and gave birth to my fears
-
Mother, not mother,
You take such care for me.
I belong to not you,
Yet you treat me like me
Mother, you're not,
The one who gave birth to me,
You've built me up as a parent would,
OnceThey loved usNowWe forget the very reason We thought so
OnceThey said they can't live without youNowThat's what they'd rather do
My mentor, my dear mentor,
How terrible you have been to me,
And yet I must thank you.
- it's me, your daughter.
i don't know what to say to you anymore,
because i feel like you've always been able to say it for me,
the willows that didn't exist in our yard,
the school buses that weren't made for me.
Oh mom
you tell me how
to dream like the kid you were
and how our lives happen the way they do
for a reason you don't know.
But since your mom passed,
who is the one to tell you
I would do anything
Not to become my mother
I would go anywhere
Not to become my mother
I would be anyone
Not to become my mother
It's Saturday
I wake up
Mom knows
Breakfast shows up at 8
It's Saturday
Dad's gone
Off to work
Won't be back till late
Next morning
On a trip
Young scars of blood can't be seen by our makers;
They're invisible to the naked eye
Though, it's expected for them to know it and see it.
Every invention has it's own manual made by it's producers
Seeking a connection to you is like reaching out to grab the air.
As I fall down a 20 foot cliff.
-Where are you now?
I believe we may have missed it
the year of reconciliation
The prospect of harmony, of order
Just a smidgen from symmetry
the precarious plane tipped
It has been fifteen years. Sometimes I wonder
If when I cry you shed tears, too, and I wonder
Will I go deaf soon? I try to drown out your shouting matches.
The percussion leads your voice. The great wave crashes
I'm sorry, but who are you to judge a book by its cover?
I could give you the world..
BUT
I'm an infant so I guess I can't light your world up.
I'm sorry but who are you to walk away from me?
Dear Dad,
You tried and you tried
You tried so damn hard
To shove your toxicity down my throat
You stole my childhood
You put me through hell
Bargained my sanity you thought you could sell
Dear Dad,
Sometimes I wish I never met you.
1,000 miles used to be the only distance,
But now we're quite through.
And yet, I still think about your existence.
Father,
You are
someone who
only cares about
himself. When I
was two, you
decided
that a
Disconnect Between your culture and mine I stay silent, except when you laugh I laugh too, but it’s as hollow as the hole inside my chest A hole that came with my deafness You speak,
Dear so-called family,
You know who you are,
We share the same father
And the same type of blood.
The last time we spoke
Was during dad’s funeral,
“Don’t worry” You said,
I know it has been hard
I know that I have failed
I know that I have hurt you
And I know that you have been disappointed
But thank you for believing
Thank you for caring
Thank you for wondering
I couldn't save you,
My friend.
Whose smile was big and great, your eyes
peeking out over the moutain of cheek.
Your short hair that you tried so desperatly
to grow out.
I want to find the words
The words to explain
explain how I feel
as a kid today
You try to listen
For a very long time I looked down on myself
for pursuing my dreams instead of the wealth
My brother, an engineer
My sister, a nurse
And I...
I am...
not the lawyer you wanted to see
I am graduating this year and you won't see it.
I will walk down that aisle, I will accept my degree
I will take a step forward and then I will take a step down.
I will bow to the past and face forward to my future,
My dear brothers and sisters,
A father’s love is like no other.
He loves you and he respects you
And though you might forget that sometimes,
To my ambition,
To my dreams.
At first, you popped into my mind
Like a grape from a vine,
Whilst I watched Youtube videos of
Dear Mom,
I can barely remember the last time we’ve talked,
And even fainter, the last time you walked.
I am always in the passenger seat.
You can drive me wherever,
But there is nothing I can do.
If I protest,
I still can't drive.
If I try to drive,
I crash.
I was five the first time I heard my parents fight,Their tongues forking lightning in flippant tones.Even now I can hear the resounding booms that shook our home,And people wonder why I’m terrified of thunderstorms. I was nine the first time the w
Dear Seniors,
Sometimes instead of putting down your stupid small town
That nobody has ever heard about
In the depths of Ohio,
You should appreciate it.
Dear Seniors,
Sometimes instead of putting down your stupid small town
That nobody has ever heard about
In the depths of Ohio,
You should appreciate it.
I experienced many wonders,from clear skies to ones with thunders,from a clean plain to a dirty roadthanks to the personwhose footsteps I followed. I learned to forgive and forget,to dance and sing in duet,to reap what I sowed,thanks to the person
There is a boy who always smiles
as long as he's not home
his friends all think he's happy
and no one really knows
he goes to school happy
just to get away
Dear Future Child(ren) I was only sixteen when I told your grandparents I never wanted to be like them.To start off on that note is probably the least positive I could've done, I'm aware.
Find my peace of mind,
the meaning of its bind,
I keep searching through the mine
with no success I have yet to find.
Open up your eyes,
seek past all the lies,
break all of those ties
He stuns me with a slap back
"Can you take that?
I'll take you to your mom's in the hatchback."
He throughs me over the shoulder,
mannerisms growing colder.
Throwing tears into a holster
I am afraid of the dark and falling and those shadows you see in the corner of your eye.
And all of these fears probably stem from that time when I was young,
Dear parents,
I want to exaplain myself the best way I can,
but most of the time I don't have a plan.
I want to succeed, you see,
when they tell me I can't.
Is it possible to defy the odds,
Because I love you
When I was crumbling, the world morphing
Spinning around me like a top in Wonderland
I still came to you, and pulled myself together
I stitched you up,
Put you together,
The thing that I admired,
That was my role model,
it cradled my cold body,
it tucked me in at night
It still takes care of me sometimes
and makes me forget that-
This Feeling Is Such A Pain.
My mom is a thousand ticking bombs
Wrapped recklessly
In coarse,
Black,
South pacific skin.
Pervaded by the thick stench of marlboro reds,
My Mother, is someone who...
Wouldn't be the person you would run to.
...Most of the time.
But my Father is.
My Mother, is someone who likes to tell you you're perfect the way you are,
Abnormalities and all,
Every time we communicateThere is no positivityThere's things that you put downThat I think are greatConversations are dullThey drain meWhile the fill you upTear me downWhile they bring you upShatter my heartWhile they toughen yours upI can't take
When I was young and small
I would sit and play
My parents fed me do's and donts
on what I could and couldnt say
Then I got a little bigger
but still easy to deceive
so my parents fed me dos and donts
Because I love you
I will catch you when you fall
I will sweep you off your feet
I will protect you through it all
Would you do the same for me?
She holds my hand when I feel defeat
Forgive me,
For I have been
Born a sin,
A paradox of life and hate,
A believer of fate,
A tragedy that lies awake
And charges forward without hesitate.
A Whisper in the wind,
Pinnocchio was the first, Geppetto and Geppetta's Happy Accident
No one talks about Geppetta that much anymore
'Cuz she doesn't come around that much anymore
She was a good Wife and a good Mom
They're a good heart mixed with baking
full of joy, those two
Their love is always for the taking
Granted, is the life that was given
But many lessons they gave
implanted were they and not ridden.
"Gather around and let me tell you a story," The Fiddler sang,
watching children gather around him. Puffs of smoke lifted up into the night still air,
Once Upon A Time
There was a piper.
Not just any piper,
But a piper with a magical flute.
As he played his flute,
Children would follow,
But what happened one day
Disscussion,
Can't we just talk?
Round table
no intimidation
from whom I was Born,
Blood shared,
Bones grown,
Umbilical Cord.
Can't we just tal-
Intimidation.
Raised Voices
look; i'm so, so sorry
i thought i'd made you proud.
not annoyed, i'm full of misery.
because i stood out in a crowd.
wasn't normal, didn't fit in.
not in the future not even now.
HE CHOSE HER
DIDN'T CHOOSE ME
A VERY ANGRY WOMAN
WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?
I LOVED HIM
THROUGH THE YEARS
HE CAUSED ME PAIN
HE CAUSED ME TEARS.
HE LEFT ME WHEN
You told me to be strong
To make my own decisions
Until my independent choices
No longer fit your selfish vision
But I have seen the truths
Mom and dad I am Glad you are my Parents Parents Thank you guys For being my Parents You guys can put meUp for adoptions When you guys findOut that I have a disability but
Dear world, I wanted you to know
That I wasn’t the same like 5 years ago
I was a nerd that everyone bullied on
There was no one there to tell me to be strong
One day I decided to be everyone else
This past yearI went from living in fearOf where is my next mealTo getting a job Between school and workI work seventy hours a weekSometimes I wake up weakAnd I sleepIn class
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up tohave a love like yours.I promised myself that I would never settle for lessthan I deserved.So, I slept in the beds of boys that didn't care to know my name.
She’s looking at him and he’s looking at her
And neither of them will speak to each other
Over dinner there is only silence and the
Quiet clinking of glasses and mushy chewing
Family, family is strong.
Family ties, nothing can last as long.
Some might say family is in the way.
But being alone is the price they pay.
Love that will never go.
Love that will always show.
"Listen to the forest. Breathe; this is home."
When I say this to myself, I am you.
I become Daddy's footprints.
My first steps were on top of feet
with fingers held in weathered hands
She wakes up to the cries of her hungry child.
Another night another hungry tummy experience.
She hobbles to her baby’s cot,
And feeds her from a dry breast,
Before taking a cup of dirty water,
I come home early like you said I should,
But you stare at me like I intrude.
This is my home too mother.
So stop treating me like I am a bother.
Why do you forget that I am just a kid?
Being surrounded by loved ones temporarily make me feel strong, but the silence of my house causes reality and I realize you are really gone. Over and over again trying to convince myself this is merely a dream, I cry out to God pleading for him
PAY ATTENTION
Get ready for this intervention
People are dying
Children are crying
Men are lying
How did she get him?
How did her get her?
Why do we have to be related
Live under what they call a roof
Sitting by myself
Daddy’s crying in the corner
Mommy left us behind
But I have to be a strong little soldier
Feeling abandoned not just by her
But by the tears I try to hide
Children
Put in their room
Put in their place
Children
Toys taken away
To learn their place
She yells to remind
me of the love she has
in her voice her own pain reflects
memories that I know
all to well
For I am not afraid of
the voice that reminds
I've aged recently,
I learned how to appreciate my family more and more, day by day.
They help me with school, how to keep my life together, and teach me many necessary to unnecessary things.
Words can be strung in an order,given purpose—made into an illustrationof what’s in a child’s mind, a childwhose mother and father are fightingover and over, all the time. Thescansion marks where the child
Consider the fog that settles beneath me The underneaths of the narrow bridges
They trap the mist around my skin The breeze cools me as it feathers throughout the air
Just as that moment of bliss
Found first thing in the morning -
Before reality breaks over the mind -
Soothes closed eyes and
Barely stirring spirits,
So childhood comforts
Bones that know not what
Dear Child,
I want you to come into the world
And I don’t mind if you cry
For it means that you can breathe
It means you won’t die
I will hug you to slumber
You say you love me,
And you say you care,
But how can I believe you
When you're never there?
I never see you anymore;
You're never at any of my events.
You're supposed to care about me!
I have the power of a lion
but you allow me to be a bird
locked up in a dark space I sit
I was going to write a pretty little poem
about words
But now my pretty little words shall turn a phrase
about words that parants say
which failure shall we alight today?
sting like blunt knives
The Father awakened from a hibernation.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father awakened from a jubilation.
The Father awakened to a situation.
Don't you know
that I listen to both of you
bitch about each other.
Bitch at each other.
Don't you think I know
what all is going on.
Living in it.
Constantly reminding me.
If I was on a stranded on an island,
All I’d need would be...
The devotion of my father,
His fatherly impulse to keep me safe never was a bother
mine is the house with the jungle yard,where snakes may catch you off your guard,but the snakes eat the rodents and the birds eat the bugs,and i peak at the school bus through a wet shrub,
He touched my hand and it felt like fire-
Burning, hot, sweet desire,
He meant the world.
He meant the world when he said he
Ive been thinking bout you a lot lately..Maybe a little too much..Breath stinking roaches on my tooth brush..Wishin i was on the road cooking like a food truck.no wishes grantedhate waking up now cus school sucks.. Eyes tearing up.Wish i had some
I could not live without you, the best mother in the world
I could not live without you, whether in my home or in my heart
I could not live without you, your words of wisdom, not always so kind
1. Simply,
if my mother had not met my father
I wouldn’t be here today.
Regardless of the fact that I was an accident…
I can’t live without my parents.
2. I was never not thinking,
Little feet scrambling across hard wood floors Pitter patter of fingers across computer keys Haunting notes of a bow across viola strings Laughing notes of a song to each other across empty space Fresh cookies being carried across the kitchen to s
All I need is a chance to be heard and understood,
Not to be the mistake child who everyone talks about.
Not to be making six-digits and have nothing to spend it on.
Not to be living your dreams for you.
I like to complain about them sometimes
I'd rather not listen to them sometimes
I think they can't relate to me sometimes
But they try
I think they're overprotective sometimes
The wood is cracked,
The paint chipped,
The gutters sprouting weeds.
Leaks and watermarks make up the walls,
Warped windowsills no one dares to heed.
Down the stairs cement hits your feet
I have the same wrinkles in my forehead. Just like my dad. When I scrunch my face up, I resemble him. I don’t appreciate it anymore.
So many stresses,
Day after day after day!
It makes my head hurt!
The pain in my head
Can feel like a volcano
Filling me with dread!
Not everyone understands
What it's like to be…
How to put it…
Different?
And I'm not talking about
That circle peg square hole bullshit
I'm talking about
The open chest cavity feeling
I live in a world full of deaf people
With nonsense parents always unaware
While their child cries up in their steeple
They neither hear nor do they even care
A time of life, a time of truth
you say those words to me that cut through my heart like a knife.
It's not just once, hundreds of times you plunge the knife into my already lacerated heart.
Tears stream down my face I'm screaming
"MOTHER, I LOVE YOU."
I am a product,
a creation.
I am made by love, by hate, by accident...
Raised by their ideals
Shaped to their perfections
Taught, molded, given my instructions.
I decided to make dinner for the first time
To make it special I even added a splash of lime
Everyones excided to see how it tastes
Asking if its ready hopening to haste my pace
Its time to eat
My parents think I’m still fucked up cuz you’re dead
My parents ask why I don’t talk to my friends about you
We are all still fucked up cuz you’re dead
We don’t talk about it
We drink about it
Cry about it
You don’t know how long it’s taken me to write down these words
These words will scorn me for the rest of my life
I tried to talk myself out of these feelings, I’ve tried to talk sense into myself
Just as you’ve taught me
I can’t remember when she last said
“I love you”
And I can’t remember when
“Good night” turned into
“You’re late again.”
And I can’t remember the last time
There was a smile on her face
There is no disappointment that hurts quite as badly as having absolutely no way of explaining what you'r
Mother and Father gave me a kitten.
When they knew they wanted one,
It took a whole nine months for them to get it!
My new kitten was
Adorable, tiny, and fragile.
I shouldn't feel sick
Everytime I think about you
I shouldn't vomit
Everytime you text me
I shouldn't have to hide
Who I really am from you
I shouldn't have to sneak around
she brought me into this world, 19 and unsure. she is a queen among royals.
now I am 19 and unsure, and if I had a child of my own i would be stuck in a much deeper hole than I am right now.
College is exciting,
It’s full of all that’s new
I’ve had to buy a trash can
And shower curtains, too.
My mom and dad support me,
They get me what I need.
“Try to aim for five years,”
I’m still trying to pinpoint the day when
Good night, I love you
turned into
You’re asleep already? Did you remember to feed the cats?
When
How was your day?
became
Peace of Mind is
Sunday morning neo-soul.
Brown skin; Limbs and lips
Puckering to sing.
The smell of a mother's love
Caressing everybody.
As a breeze flows through the open window
Peace of mind is
Lying sandwiched between my parents.
I am half a man with an ego bigger than he is,
And half a woman with a temper shorter than she'd like it to be considered.
I am half afraid, half fearless.
¿Dónde está papá, el final del libro de cuentos?[1]
The weathered one—The one that cascades a waterfall of shimmery glitter,
Don’t act like I’ve ever been okay.
Because it’s in the smile when I’m angry
The straight lips you demanded when you couldn’t take more
The obedience you looked for
It’s all in me
and it is me
Did you ever think
That maybe I don't spend time with you
Because during every moment spent with you,
Every aspect of my life is scrutinised?
Did you ever think
That the differences you saw
My mom was born and raised in Sneedville, Tennessee.She was very special and I loved her and she loved me.She was born in an ambulance that was parked on the side of the road.
You never realize it
until you
do things on your own.
All your life
your parents provide
a home,
your clothes,
food, transportation...
You never realize
how much they provide,
Nothing means more to me than my life,
Nothing means more to me than my family,
Nothing means more to me than my sister,
Nothing means more to me than my parents,
Nothing means more to me than my father,
"Would you be like the others?", I pondered.
It began with art and a hint of hesitancy.
This was my thing. Our thing.
And now you are here to share it. With us.
One of the most magical days of my life
I have always lived with strangers in my home.
The agony of not having a true family is greatly disturbing.
You see, demons terrorize my household.
I look at people and see,
see the truth and power they carry.
I want that within me,
why can't this be?
Words cause pain,
you may not know it,
but I look at my eyes and all I see is rain,
Two cultures can get me twisted,
The white community is always listed,
When filling out my race,
Accorfing to my makers, my mom and my dad,
I am a blessing,most beautifully made
They asked God for me and their dream came true.
A little girl that was all they wanted.
I don't want you so involved in my life
What choices I make are my own right
You can get mad and angry
But its your reputation on the line, not mine.
Watch over me whether I want you to our not,
Imagine a world without filters
Where people see you for who you really are
Don't worry about hiding that scar
Because that is a part of who you are
Be happy with yourself and forget what others think
When you walk through the door,
And say hello to me,
With an abashed and quite face,
You look to them with no word.
No kindness to offer that comes to a hello.
You give them nothing,
I didn’t even want to write this poemI wasn’t sure what was the pointTo pour your heart into somethingWhen there’s always someone better out thereSomeone better at accurate alliteration
We fight, yell and argue
Sometimes I tell you I hate, but you still love me no matter what
I tell you to leave me alone but your still there
by my side.
When I cry your there to listen to what's wrong
So much depends upon
A kiss
For so many feelings
For so many experiences
Because of a kiss
The feeling that you have when your families dislocated,and that special feeling of family, you wanted recreated.You want your parents to get back together,but when you ask your parents, they say that they'll never.
You twisted my mind,
With your words and your lies.
You stole away my childhood,
In every way that you could.
I am from colonial style homes,
From Sunday morning church and Bible study Wednesdays.
I am from the fall leaves on the driveway.
(Various oranges, glowing,
It tasted like apple spice pie.)
When I woke up in the middle of the night,They put me back to sleep.When I tripped and fell,They held me taught me to be careful.When I came home late,Their worried faces got tears in my eyes.
How can a parent claim that the most important thing,
is that their newborn has
10 fingers and toes,
when 10 years later,
those fingers can't play piano well enough,
and those toes can't run fast enough?
Enough, because you both have raised me better
Enough, because you are both leaving me dry
In tears and in pain,
That do not ever leave me.
Enough, because I trying, I have never paused
Teeth gleaming, always laughing,
She's the captain of numerous teams,
She has a multitude of friends,
Hair always in place,
Mascara never running.
She walks home alone.
I was brought into this world
My mother, mothered me most delicatley
My father loved me with all his heart
As they love me so
They protected me like a pack of wolves
I was a part of them
Who is to blame when I feel this sinking tugging pressure is it me or is it her or him or all of them or this whole world that centers on grades and looks and Internet?
They help me when I struggle,
They comfort me when I’m stressed,
But most of all they put up with me,
And for that they are the best.
They pick me up when I have fallen,
They cheer me on when I’m at my best,
I always wanted to be different, to have those pretty words roll over my tongue and fit in the cacophony of sounds
i didn't want to sit by myself at the lunchroom, wanted a crowd of admirers
I wanted recognition
I don't think that I can see it as well as other people
You can do it again and again for centuries
Checking my work
My new job
Making costumes
Doing makeup
The only thing that can make me happy
To Dad, the man who raised me so well,
And picked me up every time that I fell
Who taught me respect and not to talk back,
Using a strong dose of parenting, and a hint of slack.
This house sometimes feels empty
No one understands I don't mean to hurt them
I just don't know how to reach out
My mom was my galaxy and I was a stargazer
Now she's just part of the Milky Way
Lonely is not a word that I like to hear,
it echos in the vast silences that are filled by lies,
Lonely is a storm shadow cast over an empty jungle gym,
She’s the one
Locked deep inside,
With angry thorns
Pressed into the
Softness of her heart.
Every day words
You told me, that one day, I would be the Queen of my own kingdom.
You said that the bullying would stop, and that I wouldn't remember all the hateful words that had been said to me.
As I ruminate over everything my parents had done for me
I declare in my thought, before it slips, it gets caught
I will repay them back for the hardwork they did so I can be here, now
When you told me
To grow up, I thought you meant,
"Kill your heart." And so I did.
Dutifully, plugged the tears until I suffocated.
Cussed. Spit. Hated.
(Are you proud of me?)
What is fear?
A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain?
A threat that is real? Or imagined?
The feeling or condition of being afraid.
A loving embrace: yang
Lonely and chooses: yin
A slap to the face: bang
Bottles and bruises: gin
The trembling chilling adventures of exploring the sadend mind of what we think today to be whats know as us .
I'm chasing after you again, when am I not?
We run the same speeds but are always so far apart!
Her touch like rain drops falling gently on the lawn
Her beauty like the sun rising at dawn
Her comfort and care like a bird watching her nest
My mother makes sure to give us only the best
When I speak of love I aim my voiceto my parents who brought me hereand taught me how to deal with the cruelties of the world,my freshman year english teacher who cared even after I left
I am who I am.
This I cannot change
I try to fit the molds of other people
I want to please others,
But when I try,
I am unhappy.
He says I should be a doctor.
A doctor.
I told my mom I was depressed
Empty
Alone
She told me it was just
"Teenager Things"
Like it was a normal occurrence to all who progress through these hell years.
I've made one therapist cry
The roar of the televison penetrates trhough the music in my ears.
My father and his mates are screaming at the screen.
I'm trying to become inviible,
without even leaving the room.
it must be working,
Support.It's something we all want.They're my parents.Do they know?They said they would and always will.But she took it back.He doesn't seem to care.I feel alone.Do they know?
I feel them
The threads that bind me
Like a marionette
A fancy puppet
Shiny hair
Porcelain skin
Glassy eyes
Shakey limbs
The strings
They pull me
What makes a daughter form a good mother?
It is the mothering she reprieved from past generations on up.
Many lessons will be learned, and blessings bestowed on none other.
Quick gasps
Quick grasp-
Heaven on her hands.
Two girls
Strange world,
For a widowed man.
9 hour shift, returning to
the greatest monsters known.
If there came a day
Where life outran me
I would return to my
Parents home
Beaten by the world
Weathered by time
And caked in mud
I would hang my head
Where has the privacy gone?
From homes separated by a large canvas
Of green grass and long fences
Now walls sit not a feet from walls
Where voices can clearly be heard
And privacy has dissipated into the
This is to the kids who can afford CDs,
And designer clothes, new cars, and
Extra TVs
Actually, praise their parents who spoil their kids to death,
Because they'd rather keep them occupied and
Fuck first semester
And financial aid and scholarship applications and just money in general.
And the 3.5 I needed if I wanted to come back.
And my parents.
And money
And society for revolving around money
Broken child
Save her from his grasp
She's been here for a while
She's growing up too fast
All different in color, size, and shape
Unique as each grain of sand
that withstands the melting of heat and pressure
To create the beauty that is a stain glass being held by walls that stand
Do you ever feel paper thin?
See-through, transparent
Like everyone knows what you’re thinking
Even before you’re thinking it.
Do you ever feel naïve?
Inexperienced, unprepared
When a family was a family,
A whole and binding unit,
When fathers were fathers and mothers were mothers,
A team that stood together for better or worse,
Parents who taught their kids respect,
If there was one thing I could change,
There’s no doubt it would be
To keep my parents here with me.
And no, they haven’t died.
You can’t bring back the dead.
And no, not arrested,
One mistake,will you ever let me forget it...I understand what I did was wrongI understand I disappointed you.But hey lets think of it this way,what else is new?
i am the firstborn cub
to my mother and father
born to complete what they lost
in their own life cycles
as a reincarnation sent to
redeem
the regrets nagging behind their sleeping eyelids.
I can't say one thing!
Not one damn thing, without you criticizing me!
Just shut up!
You ask what I mean,
I mean Im Fed Up!
You push me for my 'own good',
One of my earliest memories
is working on puzzles with my dad.
He’d always tell me exactly what to do,
to start with the corners
and find all the edges,
Sweet gentle arrival as if delivered by a Stork,
My options are unlimited, I'm free to explore.
I know what you do, I see your sacrifice,
You think its not enough. Nothing will suffice.
The day my dad left
I was in a state of deinal.
I couldn't fully grasp the situation at hand.
Parents are supposed to love their children,
and want to watch them grow up.
But no, not my Daddy.
The know nothing, yet they know everythingLike a bird, Im trapped beneath a sheltered wingThey always ask where and how Ive beenAnd want to talk every now and then
Not being heard
speaking but no one is able to understand.
Frustation
feeling that no one is able to comprehend.
My words
the lisp over powering my mouth
I want to yell
I hate you. I abhor you.
If I knew, everything I do now
From the beginning I would have left
And not come back
This is how you made me
You were not there, when I scraped my knees.Or when my boyfriend got down on his
When I threw my graduation cap in the air.Or decided to donate all my hair.
When I hit puberty,and eventually became pretty.
Break down young man break down
That’s all the devil tellin’ me to do
Says she’s through with me
Wants nothing to do with me
Askin’ questions like “How could you act so stupidly?”
Moms talkin’ crazy
hundred tiny white shells at my feet,
I have to tred carefully.
Suddenly they crack,
and I'm falling.
What happened?!
Did I do something wrong?!
Down a hole where nobody goes,
Times were hard from the day of my birth.
I have a father who didn’t know my worth.
While I was being born he stole from my mother. Was high as a kite chilling with his brother.
Bullying,
A double edged sword.
You take the pain,
But what is it like to inflict it?
You find your target,
You spit out some words,
That have been spat at you.
Your expectations are too high for me
I'm not yet ready to climb such a height
Images of things I could never be
I know I might choose wrong, instead of right
Be mad, just don't have that look in your eye
Little hands they have, my sister
Born from Mountains and blackest coal
Created by those that so proud, dig
for righteous living in dark holes
Little minds they say, my brother
I'm tired of all the bickering,
mommy and daddy always fight.
My mom working hard in the kitchen,
my dad always drinking bud light.
There's always some kind of conflict between them,
I know I'm your only child
And just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm going to run wild
My head is on straight
You just have to let me concentrate
I know the world is a big place
Maybe if you didnt tell us
sex was the be all, end all
Maybe the sucubus
wouldn't have such an intoxicating call
Maybe if you helped us understand
and not just say "It's wrong"
Oh honey, lock the door on the way out,
and shut those windows, keep the daylight out!
We don't want scary strangers looking in.
Oh and stay indoors, rapists will snatch you in
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
I take that back...
Hold your breath.
Hold it in, Hold it back.
Its not worth it.
not worth it....
My heart is pounding
And the sound of those words
Brings back the rounds of bashing and screaming…
Those lashings red like the blazing
Pain;
From all those times I held my tongue…
Little brother, little brother,
where have the years gone?
Last I remember, you were just turning 7.
Still held a sparkle in your eye.
Not anymore.
When Momma died the boys were left alone,
Daddy, Me and little bro.
But Daddy was never around anymore,
So when he'd leave I'd close the blinds and lock the door,
And sit with my brother, watching him sleep.
All of my memories from before I got my glasses areblurryLike when you imagine a story told from someone else'spoint of viewOr trying to remember a dream you hadyears ago
Struggling from a poor village,
many dreams of freedom and peace.
Im off to make an effort to this privallege
The day has come im on my way to succeed.
Days and nights of struggles and fear,
In the morning, you wake me,feed me, clothe me, and shuttleme to that place.And leave me.With naps and blocks and other kids.And go elsewhere.Spare me this sadness that I might smile.
You held me in your arms and told me
It would be okay. It’s not.
Its been a year since I saw you last.
I always know how long it’s been.
A year seems like an eternity
Black and white pictures tell a storyWell , lemme give you a little history on why i give my God the most high , glory ONE I've been through it all , made a couple mistakesNearly gave up because i was unsure of the later decisions i would makeSca
Pantoum: Orphan Wishes
1 She wished she knew who her parents were.
2 She knew only of those in the orphanage.
3 But their souls could not fill up her gap.
Now lately Daddy's been counting days
Mommy’s wishing she could count sheep
She's saying "let's reconsider", he's saying he's not going to keep
Not caring if she weeps, this is the part where it gets deep
Children’s laughter rings out
like a symphony of bells.
Halloween candy saved
for when friends change plans.
Hugs never failed to
make everything okay again.
The years grow old and grey
I walked a mile to high school everyday.
I sat for six hours.
I learned about subjects
that I didn't care about.
When school was over
I walked a mile home
and spent my own time
doing more work.
I've been blessed.
Parents willing to live poorly if that means an education for me.
Parents willing to brush toilets if that means an education for me.
Yet, you, the one with the PhD, can't provide.
What an honor it was to have
grown up in the melting pot
of another women’s grave yard.
I belonged to someone and it was effortless.
Didn’t have to tug, twist and turn to much to squeeze the
"Since when do you wear your hair like that?""Since when do you listen to RAP music? Oh! My! GOODNESS! Those lyrics are ridiculous. You never listened to that before.""Since when do you think you can come home this late?""Since when do you burp?
Seed sower
You have sown the seed of the tree that is me
Breathed life into lungs and patient limb construction
I know my leaves rustle careful and free
Because you are the sower of the tree that is me
Undying feelings,
Never rested eyes,
All these feelings that fit in my life.
Academics, Home, Chores, Parents, Love, Divorce, and College,
A never ending stream.
Thoughts and feelings,
Life once so innocent and pure. Allured by temptations the flesh was too weak to dismiss.
A kiss, so sweet. So discreet. Enveloped with all affections known to mankind.
Please Note: There is a trigger warning for this poem.
When I was 8 years old
I felt you become so cold.
Still, I tried to crawl in your lap for warmth
I think it’s so fucked up how someone could just tear you apart like you never meant anything to them
To put them into misery with the simplest of a silent response
To ignore the words that they aren’t saying
When in school
they say we should learn everything that is possible
they don't see the obstacles
sometimes i sit and wonder why kids try their best in class,
to have a future, to get good grades, or maybe only pass,
well here it is now, let me lay it to you straight,
My life is a lie.
Every day is a challenge
As I put on a show for those closest to me.
I was taught that these feelings inside me are wrong.
What Do You MEAN I'm Suspended?
Im not allowed to say that in class?
Im not allowed to say that thinking about taking my life isn't me being a coward but instead you being inconsiderate?
Castigation weighs down her shoulder,
A burden, she understands,
Unfair, she understands,
Immoral, she understands,
Dry eyes tell a different tale.
You told me you love me,
Yet where are you now.
My birthday approaches,
Yet not one word from you.
I sit there,
The tears fall,
My life is falling apart.
You pretend
To understand,
But I know you can't.
Shut up, I won't listen
I don't want your excuses
They're worthless,
This life is yours to lead
This life is yours to live
Take the wheel from Jesus
Take control
Push yourself forward
Wait for no one
Take a risk, take a chance
Live by your own commands
dusk reigns nowyour back turnedagainst the setting lightand the sun,the exhausted sunfilters through every strandof your fading hair
Sand in my pockets, skipping off my fingers, and stuck in my eyelashes, under my tongue and between my teeth.
In every way I let my confidence show/I was able to remember every inch that I grow/Came from the ability to live up to this day/Letting my feet move up another space/Trying not to curve off the path I set for myself/Still clinging to the hope tha
So many faults.
So many dropped balls,
And missed calls,
And “Holy shit! Thank God you had your seatbelt on.”
Not to mention those late bills that caused
The lights and the A/C to go out
We’re living in a contradicting society
A society where most protest against abortion
But in the same breath look down upon teenage pregnancy
A society where parents point a stern finger telling you what not to do
I am finished.
This has gone on for far too long.
Trying to fit into your box of expectations had been my only goal since childhood.
I see now that your expectations are not me.
I won't let you define my life.
How many years has its been since you gave birth to yours truly?
We've had our ups and downs, many times, but I've kept you in mind lovingly.
I know that I haven't been the perfect child, but honestly
Plan the necessary steps to get closer to your goal. Emerge from a bad experience only looking at the situation as a lesson instead of a mistake.
at age sixteen.
finally learning my father was a fiend.
i've been lied to all these years
truth has been set free,
now i'm holding back tears.
my life represents pseudology.
Being the First.
I remember the long summer nights the most.
The sweet scent of Juniper floating among the breeze.
The croaks of toads and chirps of crickets filling the silence.
Two hearts shaking under cold pale skin
Two minds racing into collisions
So traumatic that all they can breathe out is
“Why” seems to be all they can say, to express
The rest of them are dead
If only you knew the way I feel inside.
If only you knew all the nights that I’ve cried.
I still remember the morning Liz cried and you held her,
you ignored my cries, yet comforted a total stranger…
TO MY PARENTS
From birth to death,
From daycare to college,
From crushes to relationships,
From little league to college athletics...
Hopes and dreams cut every few months,
like the front lawns of our suburban neighborhood.
Notice how they hate to see growth.
As soon as there are any signs of it,
they come, machine in hand,
Another way I dissapoint my father.
Shocker.
But I can't help it,
no matter what anybody thinks.
It's not my fault my father
decided not to use a condom.
It's not my fault
I feel so sick
My insides are crying
My brain hurts, I'm dying
I'm trying
No progress, and no success
Wheres the time and effort, I've lost my best
I'm gained more stress
Got too much things on chest
So many different thoughts go running through my mind,
I'm on my way to college, a roomy I must find.
Senior year is flying by, still so much to do,
Disney, Prom, Graduation, just to name a few.
My world was turning
crashing.
I try to stand
one hand against the wall.
Efforts with no reward
left in vain.
Aching painfully
tears of frustration running down my face.
Everything is turning.
It’s Saturday. I wake up to the blaring bellows of my father
And the deafening drones of my mother
Demanding me to get up. When I hear the church bells
Ringing, ringing, ringing, I hasten to put on my favorite aqua dress,
We can't wait for it to get here, but when it's here it quickly goes away.
Reality smacks us in the face when we realize we can't hold on to it.
You were once like me
Young, innocent and free
Forgive me, if sometimes I act so wild
Remember, I'm just a child
Daddy’s got that smile,
and everyone and a while laugh
His tapping foot,
that finds song that breaks him out of his shell.
My eyes open to the dimly lit interior of my parents' Ford Windstar.
I see my parents in the front seats.
They rest before the Sun brings the dawn of the new day and awakens my weary protectors.
My parents.
(poems go here) What right?
What right?
What right do you have to criticize?
What right do you have to talk down about me?
You were never there!
You left and never looked back!
Coach
“Coach I want to play soccer”
No you’re playing golf
The scholarships will give you a better shot
“Okay”
My father had once told me
you'll never know just what you'll be
even with the end in sight
just before the end of night
dont jump too soon, because you'll fall
just hang on tight, fight through it all
Lyrical licks that lament the whips that tips the slaveholder that his chains don't hold the gold that sold out the captives, making them proactive to freeing them from the tree and be free, or is it just me?
If the society we live in today was just a dream and a simple pinch made us come back to reality, I wonder how things would be without all the brutality.
Everyday I walk down these halls terrified
I can feel the stares and read their lips
Calling me anything they can think of
Just to hurt me
My mind fools me
Making me think I'm strong enough to take it
Senior year I begin,
New costs and less money
It’s time to step up
A new chance to grow,
A new chance to learn,
The burns and backaches,
The stress and headaches.
Constrain all my thoughts
“Dad, can I borrow the car tonight?”
“No.”
“But didn’t you get rewarded for being a good kid?”
“Yes.”
“That went with car privileges too, right?”
“Yes.”
“So can’t I borrow the car for being good?”
The imagery echoes in brain,
Never stopping and no gain.
Same thing over and over,
But no matter what there is no closure.
My parents always said they wanted better for me than they had
But really I'm beyond grateful to have a mom and a dad
They are very far from perfect, but the bumps in the road formed me
I just want to scream until my lungs give way
Exploding with the stress I have tucked away
No fight left in me, the spark fizzled out
I'd give any possession to escape this route
My sense of purpose lost
My grandma
My grandma smokes like a chimney
Her eyes carry heavy burdens
She relaxes in a pool of liquid spirits
Her words are poison daggers piercing to expose guilt
Of shrimps and steaks and sizzling soups
And turpentine rolls and cabbage groups
Comes a man of greedy, vicious frosting
The essence of virtue he is lacking.
An effervescent mind when he wants it to be
I am at an impasse
I don't know what to do
Because I have built my life around
Trying to become you
The last time I saw you without the jaws of I.V.s clamped onto your arms,
and without the yellow tinge to your skin,
and without you fading away from me...
The last time I saw you was two months ago,
When life is getting hard
You try your best to keep up
But you find yourself falling
Then when you open your eye's to find yourself
in darkness
You hear some people calling your name
Hate?
Hate.
What is the definition of
Hate?
Hate:
To dislike intensely or passionately.
To feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward.
To detest; is that your definition of
Hate?
for years everyone has seen me crying
but nobody cared enough to ask why until i met this lady two years ago
I watched you take your first steps
across our kitchen floor.
You smiled with a giggle
I'd never heard before.
You scared yourself a little,
and shed a single tear.
In no time, I'd picked you up
I knew from the beginning I would love her forever,
Her glowing brown eyes penetrated my heart and soul at a glance,
As she held me in her arms I could feel compassion and warmth
When I first arrived, I cried
I am young.
Blonde hair moves past my eyes,
As I play in the dirt.
My irises are big and innocent.
