Dear Future Child(ren)
I was only sixteen when I told your grandparents I never wanted to be like them.
To start off on that note is probably the least positive I could've done, I'm aware.
They loved me dearly but I struggled wondering if they loved each other, as did your uncle, as did your aunts.
Everyone fights, but some do it too much.
The reasons were the most senseless.
Two believing they were always there never helped when all I know about love is self taught.
How is it that an eighteen year old can communicate his feelings and thoughts with others better than those triple his age?
Grandma and grandpa were the only two I ever told this too, until I met a girl.
I don't know if she's your mother as I'm writing this years before I met you, but time will tell.
She was the first person to hear what I told your grandparents.
Her fears were that she wouldn't know how to stay with someone for a long time, my fears were I'd become what I hated.
It's funny how two different backgrounds and marital statuses can still provide bad examples.
I remember telling her that I can't promise a forever but we could try and if there's anything I can promise it's that I'll never be like my parents.
This promise was derived before her though, it was for you.
For a child to grow up seeing their parents argue and bicker over the mundane and unrealistic was shitty, I tell you the truth.
I promised that I'd never let my future children feel like their parents don't love each other long before I wanted you.
Long before I was confident Luna, Ruby, and Gideon were my favorite names.
Long before I entirely knew the girl I'd come to love.
Life will take wrong courses time after time again, but if there's one thing that never changes, it's true love.
True love has guided me all these years despite feeling like it wasn't always there.
If there's anything I can promise to you, it's that I will love you and let it be known.
I'm only eighteen as I write this, but I also promise that I love your mother and always will.
We're human and will fail you, and vice versa, but we will never stop loving you.
And so are you.
Love, an Eighteen Year Old Me
11 December 2017