bodyimage
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The sky was falling
In the form
Of grey translucent drops.
The air was heavy
In my lungs
So my mind took me away.
I made a plan
I packed and ran
Every
Cover my self,
Because I am ashamed,
You sit and laugh at me,
Like I am to blame,
Now this is my image,
Not just for my body,
Don't need acceptance,
As you ignore me,
on my chest
below my neck
ornaments on my body
i don’t remember asking for
they decorate me
but i seldom feel like art
Some girls say that they’re not pretty,
and staring into the saliva, mucous, and broken down bits of food swimming in the toilet bowl like fish in a porcelain fishbowl
Some girls say that they’re not pretty,
and staring into the saliva, mucous, and broken down bits of food swimming in the toilet bowl like fish in a porcelain fishbowl
Some girls say that they’re not pretty,
and staring into the saliva, mucous, and broken down bits of food swimming in the toilet bowl like fish in a porcelain fishbowl
The click of the lock echoes,
The turn of the handle screams.
Inconsistent drips of water begin resounding.
The flush of water...
Overpowering.
Head down in a book,
Hiding my braces,
Fearing they may look,
Always so abrasive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Head high like a rook,
Not afraid of their gazes,
Have them by the hook,
Prompt: write about yourself in which nothing is true
Ok
Here goes.
When you are me, you can wake up
With a
Smile
I watch in sadness
As you explain how you're afraid to die
But also afraid to live
+
What a way to exist....
But I can do nothing.
Sometimes it's euphoric
Drunk with pride and confidence
On my high horse
Looking staright ahead
Other times a 180 turn occurs
Hell on my mind
It's dark, I'm timid
Sometimes it's euphoric
Drunk with pride and confidence
On my high horse
Looking staright ahead
Other times a 180 turn occurs
Hell on my mind
It's dark, I'm timid
I am curvy and nerdy
Self-esteem a little sturdy
Hmm.. can 't even count how many times I've been told I have a body that people pay for
Your body is your temple
Sweetie, to yourself you don't have to lie
All bodies are beautiful
I open up the Groupme appWaiting for the destination that awaits me10-15 people ready to engage in the event of their life: “Never Have I Ever”
Am I pretty now?
You told me I need makeup,
You can hardly tell it is me anymore,
Am I pretty now?
You said I needed to lose some weight,
Well i have, now I'm anorexic,
Am I pretty now?
She has hair that falls over her shoulders in straight caramel colored strands.
She has blue eyes that are perfect pictures of the ocean .
She is a good 4 inches taller than me and looks great in everything.
And she has you
Every time you tag me in a post I want to rip out my eyes.
You always take pictures which is great when those pictures aren't of me.
You see, when I see a picture of myself
Once Upon a time, there was a princess, warm and beautiful, and loved by all.
Once Upon a time, she laughed joyously, her heart flowing with joy, and her smile gleaming.
We are defined by the simplicity of a few words.
Morphed out of nothing, as if expectations should really come from a boy in your chem class.
He says he likes his girls skinny.
When you jokingly say “ohmygod I hate you!”
And I say laughing “I hate me too so it’s all good”
You may be joking, but I’m not
At the start,
She was kind, beautiful, free.
She was individual, unique
Better than she’d ever been.
Then, near the middle,
And more towards the end
Her self image began to bend
And bend
You're beautiful underneath, they said
But beautiful underneath only goes so far.
That girl you just made derogatory comments to,
Doesnt want you.
She didn't dress in any way for you.
Although it probably doesn't shake her,
As young girl she's had heard it too
Bones poking
potruding, prodding
pride? how does this belong
looking in the mirror I feel disgust
but not from the bones
from the skin
how can i not see the horror
She looks in the mirror and what does she see?
A girl with a lot of insecurity
Her thighs feel thick and her stomach feels fat
and she believes nothing will ever change that
What a twisted game I play,
Just me, myself, and I.
A game so quiet that no one knows,
It exists in my mind, and in my life.
What a twisted game,
I keep to myself.
The game before a mirror,
What would you know,
About me and my plight?
Have you heard me scream for dear life?
Have you seen my inability to talk,
Incapable of expressing myself,
Unless it is by paper, by words.
Sexual abuse happens to as many as 1 in 3 females and 1 in 4 males before the age of 18.Dissociation is one of the common coping mechanism of abuse.
Smile, sit up straight, and quite down
Do as I say, but don't forget to smile
Actually don't smile, because your nose is crooked
Your fat, ugly, and a waste of space
I review myself over a layer of abstraction:
the camera's lense,
the mirror's silver,
or a stranger's eye.
It's when I look into myself
as a primary source that I descover
the gorgeous,
Hair tied in knots,
Lipstick smeared off,
The room that I'm in,
Littered with cloth.
Homework undone,
Bed untidy,
Finding myself,
Dirty and grimy.
I take a step back,
In a world where people are periodically posting pics and sending selfies to fellow citizens, there is a surprising amount of self hate surrounding the subject.
I break my bones and scar my skin, persistently flowing with red rivers, flowing into oceans of pain.
When you look at the world What do you see?
Do you view your food and friends in Mayfair and Valencia?
Your wasting your time deciding which accent makes your skin look tan
I am a girl who puts on makeup to feel beautiful
I am a girl who put extensions in her hair to feel wanted
I am a girl who wear pretty dresses to feel girly
Three months.
That's how long I wore makeup in eighth grade-
How long I tried to fit ubiquitous standards.
Solutions for fear of inadequacy:
Who am I without any of those filters or fake edits?
Well I am me
I am someone who is naturally beautiful
yet goofy all by my personal line of credit
I am someone with flaws just like anyone else
Maybe I'm crazy and insane. Maybe we are not the same. But now I know what I see. Every time you look at me. It's innocence, That light. A light that shines through any dark night. And tho you are far away. These words I still have to say.
My girl -
Translucent in the sun.
Blue webs
And purple strings that run.
A wave of midnight crowns my head.
My girl -
Dark clouds around the eyes.
Bony
When I take a picture
I smile and stare at my relfection.
My mind wonders if they will like it
if they will see me the way I see me.
My voice
Is something which my ears fail to define
When it kisses the air, it splinters
Into exactly 2 billion and 3 question marks
Hooking round my pores and
Peppering my flesh with pock-marks of stray
Right now, I am breathing uneasily and imperfectly, similar to how I carry myself.
My breath and my own piece of mind.
These are the things that follow me around.
Amaro
Rise
Valencia
Umm, Saturation let's make it 10
Warmth 41, there done.
#NoFilter #AllNatural
But how is it that we go ahead and fidget with the icons on instagram
I don't appreciate
when you approach me
just to tell me that I'm so blessed
with such a sexy body.
And you have no right
to be offended when
I don't kiss the ground you walk on
Excuse me,
But i'm just tryna get your attention
from this world of mixed dimensions
And worthless misconceptions
engulfing the perceptions
that I am not beautiful
You see,
Before you even noticed him
I saw you
You liked him
But, I crave you
What am I gonna do?
He’s just a masquerader
That’ll never get it
Only asking you can I hit it?
Can I hit it?
I am a perfectionist with a capital P. Let down if I get less or equivalent to a B, because I want to be the best that I can be, and yet, I can never seem to keep my room clean for more than a week...
I am a woman who can do it all
Even though I am so small
I have so much potential because I know most of the essentials
Blood as red as a rose
They said death was something that you just chose
Truthfully it chose you
The definition of flaw is defect or fault;
The definition itself is contradictory to Heaven and Earth.
Everyone is made specifically and perfectly as they are,
So any "flaws" are actually evidence of flawlessness.
It's the glisten at the light,
That small glimmer of a perfectionist.
The dark waves and the pale surface,
a red sea with murky waters.
It falls to the arches,
it caresses to the skin.
I bottled all my tears to save for rainy days
I put my bad thoughts in a box and sent it into space
I framed all my smiles and kept them on display
I bagged up all my feelings and threw them all away
I was born beautiful.
Society will tell me different.
I have curly hair.
Long, tangly, brown, curly locks.
I grew to hate my hair.
I was 5, already craving to use a hair straightner.
Pale, blemished, perfect?
Freckled, scarred, flawless?
My skin is stained with excess ink from all the times I created my idea of art.
My nails are broken and chipped from years of playing guitar.
Who am I without a filter?
For the past four yeasrs, I haven't had an answer to that question
I've spent so long trying to become littler
I've tried to disappear which is something I probably should mention
A blurred photograph can make a lot more sense than a clear one
Look at the way she moves her arm to hit his head playfully
Look at the way his face is blurred dodging that hit
That action is day to day life
Tell me where these flaws derive from? Itching from the grass under our feet; to the hands we so dearly want to hold. Is there a text book, a guide of some meticulous sorts. Iv never found a universal perfection. We spit that word out.
I can feel my blood boil.
My eyes picking out all the imperfections.
Harsh criticism that makes me bleed from the inside out.
Listen to me, oh Muse, and help me tell the story
Of the young man with great determination.
The one who worked for years on a single goal
To turn his belt the darkest of all colors.
When I look in a mirror,
I don't see that girl in the movies,
the beauty all the guys are after,
or even the nerd, hiding a banging body
and gorgeous eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses,
When I was a young child, I loved myself.
I confidently strutted my polka-dot sweater and striped skirt,
From day to day we fight to see the beauty behind thee,
these cuts we cover dust to find the strength within the idea of we,
anger leads to failure to go where we strive to be,
denial of hope in the beauty we do not see,
why cant i be enough, turned asied like a stray i cry why arent i enough. he stands over me tall with hes head held high no hesitation just pride.
Myself: who am I?
Should that be a question or an affirmation?
Who I am... is wonderful.
I cannot be anyone but myself.
It is funny to wake up every morning being the same person...
Who's wild and crazy
A girl who's set free
someone who listens but can talk to those in need
Life is like a mirror, you might be unaware of its features in the future, but you know to never want to change that reflection, because the past glimpse will make
Mirror Mirror Mirror,
Can you really see me?
I see my flaws and my mistakes but that dont really be me.
I wanna show you the truth but I cant even believe me.
"I am Flawless" I mean I guess....I didn't always think so though.
The way my stretch marks curve over my lower.
The baby tooth I have that refuses to come out.
What would I give for a moment of peace, a moment to feel, a moment to breath, a moment to not hear the voices in my head yell constantly
your
NOT
good
enough.
Your not worthy of love, only pain.
My shoulders are drooping underneath the heavy weight of expectation.
I'm being dragged by the leash of society.
I still hate myself every day
And it hasn't changed in a single way
Nobody loves me, I love no one
Try to avoid me or better yet, run.
I have no potential, not hard to see
Though I've yet to pull myself together
There's a part of me that seems to have tethered
My body image and self neglect
Are all pure relfections of lack of self-respect.
I starve myself day by day
Do you know what it's like to live every day
Dreading your life in every way?
Fearing you'll never be good enough
The minutes get longer and your life gets tough.
And how about that body of yours
Why do I always feel like nobody cares
And when I need someone, no one's there?
Being alone is a normal feeling
The real me I've been concealing.
The thought of isolation was always appealing
Flawless
It is just a word
People strive to become it
People die to become it
But it is just a word
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
That's one person's opinon
Do you know what it's like every day
Dreading your life in every way?
Fearing you'll never be good enough
The minutes get longer and your life gets tough.
I have watched the love of my life
Fluctuate her weight
In attempts to control it
And control her disordered eating
I have watched her eyes sink
Her ribs poke out
There I was
another day
spent counting miles
subtracting calories
calculating deficits.
Run, run to look good, run to look pretty, run so boys will like you.
Mirrors tell the truth, you see
They are blunt and honest, the worst but best kind too
It's hard trying to see yourself when it's impossible too.
You can't count on people's words either.
Gazing at the long mirror that attaches to my beige dresser
I have a serious, yet soft look on my face
Three hours of getting ready
Mistakes,
Baby I'm flawless.
What you want me to be ashamed of,
Baby I flaunt it.
You talk and laugh about the way I look,
But don't understand that my ego can't be shook.
My back is freckled,
like my fourth grade classmate.
I thought he was cute.
And I have blonde hair
that hangs in my face nonstop.
Well, I'm consistant.
My best feature is
You say that you need all that makeup to look "pretty". Well, I know how you feel because I fall into that trap, too, but don't let that CoverGirl cover up the real you. Because you are unique. Whether you're
LOUD
or quiet,
Look in the mirror.What do you see?A girl.Too skinny,Too fat,Too this,Too that. Imperfect is perfect.Those scars,Tiger striped thighs,Bruises on your knees,
Put your makeup on, go to the beauty salon.
Get your nails done, my dear loved one.
Curl your hair, keep it slim their.
run an extra mile, keep your smile
Just so they could like you?
When I blink it blinks
using the Same eyes to see
that I can't I live up
to a better reflection of me.
2 years apart but miles away
while she received praise
I received Bullies and Pain.
The Girl In the Corner,
Yes the one all alone,
The one who is in the pouring rain,
She has had a troubed past,
Cuts that are like sleaves going up and up her arm,
Her parents both gone,
The way my hair falls on my shoulder,
the mole on my right leg,
and my hairy knuckles just make me flawless.
The scars on my feet,
the way my stomache folds,
and my bushy eyebrows make me flawless.
I’m driving to the store. I look left at a stoplight;
A girl is applying on mascara on her already thick lashes
In the limited time frame that we have and I think of
The corset is now off,
Putting all the guard down.
What if they should flout or scoff?
Sea of shame, go ahead, drown.
Fabricating to care,
Pitching bad self esteem.
Yet they gossip and stare,
Why did he buy the sugar free jelly?
Dad what's wrong with sugar
It makes me happy. Why do I need to watch my weight?
What I eat won't define me and
Regular jelly suits me just fine.
That 6 foot 4 inch frame,
That weird way to pronounce my name.
Those giant hands, and big ol' feet,
That nice smile, that no one else can beat.
The quirky disposition,
The adorkable being.
The Body of my love is a wonder to behold-
temperature rises with each furtive glance
a boiling in my blood
They say that girls are made of curves -
that we are smiles
and acceptance,
a circle of understanding arms,
our feminine charms meant to lure you in:
a siren call.
Beautiful black butterflies stirred up the wind,
and with God's assistance a southern breeze created my beautiful brown skin.
Skin that glistens in the sun and blends with the night.
On an overcast December morning, my mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
Bob,
my mother addressed my father.
There is something that the doctor has just told me about Gabriel.
I am so tired of the hypocritical voices
Which pour out from my car's speakers.
So here I stand in the city's center. Hear me!
I have a legitimate complaint!
I have always admired the strong.
We as a whole have been taught to idolize those who can carry the burden of thousands
and manage to exert unimaginable strength in pulling the corners of their lips into a smile.
Counting the calories,
Secretly loving each bite,
Is being skinny
Worth all this fight?
Seeing your hipbones?
Collarbones too?
Searching for a thigh gap,
even though there's so much "you"?
Lure them in with your evanescent gleam.
Bind them into your eternal paradise.
Throw their hypnotic nothings to the wind.
Craft velvet wings from jewels.
Your primrose shimmer must never dull.
It's weird to think I used to hate myself.
Look in the mirror, cringe and coil away from myself.
Ripping apart the person that is me.
Wishing away every little blemish and piece of skin.
I was givin a certain way to dress, look, hell even feel before I was born
so when I was told " Your not doing it right" it sounded to me kinda foreign
how was I was suppose to know, I thought this was me
I don't stare at myself in awe of my own beauty,
I stare in awe that I am called beautiful.
I look so deeply at myself, with every intention to find this beauty.
To answer the question I ever so constantly ask myself,
We are the Ones.
The beaten,
the broken,
the abused.
We are the Silent.
Bearing our agony with closed mouths.
The quiet,
the strong,
the mute.
We are the Patient.
I can sit here and dread over all the negatives
Of what I'm not.
But it won't really change who I am.
WHEN
Can your eyes see for sure?
If the mind has blind fear,
......but if both are blind,
You don’t care it is all dead;
Really, in the absence of bright light,
I am here to tell you how it can be done.
I was a woman who was unhappy with the size of her waist.
I was ashamed.
Flabbergasted of how much time was wasted not caring.
They call it unhealthy I used to disagreethat everything I used to do to mePut death right in my faceThey call it a disorder I can't say much moreEverything I used to hear was what tore
I knew a girl
Weak, unhappy
Angered at who she was
Obsessed with who she was not
I knew a girl
Who had beautiful thighs
But hated them for their size
Then one day she put a weight in her hand
She is a hyprocrite
Full of contraditions
And consumed with a nonconformist spirit
She desires to be loved
Yet all she visualizes is hate
In reference to my looks: I wait, weight, wHATE for the day where my eyes, the world's eyes dont see mychubbythighs squeezed into one size fits all? Five sizes too small for the ethnic girl with the wash and go curl.
I remember the first day I looked in the mirror and said,
“Not good enough.”
I saw the red blotches on my face,
The rolls on my stomach when I sat down,
The truth is I don't know who she isDisguised so goodI blew thisWith the lipstick on high heels strongBut my ankles not so muchI'm just trying to show that ICan play the roleJust like all my friends
You see, weight is too much,
The pounds are too much,
The scale says "enough"
But the numbers don't bluff.
Below layers of fat
(Which really aren't there)
Sometimes I envy those
Those stick skinny creatures
Some call goddesses
Humans, not felines
Who walk the cat walk
They have two faces,
But one body
Click, flash, print
Crimson substance fills the cup
One is one and never enough
With every wound
A new opening
It’s a curious machine
This human body
How does it move?
How does it balance?
With arms that lift
And legs that run
It’s a distorted view
She looks at her hands
Delicate hands which haven’t done much
Shy hands which could change the world with just one touch
Any act they make
Could be a mistake
Quick, hide them. Back in your jean pockets.
Bullying is the worst evil
It can make you bleed
It can make you feeble
It strips away your confidence
It can destroy honest men
It steals from the poor
It preys on all fours
Standard beauty ideals are failing us.
People demand
Curvy but skinny.
Tall but petite.
Modest but sexy.
Pure but experienced.
Natural but modified.
We can't have it all,
I am not the rain on a tin roof,
I am a blanket that never keeps your feet warm at night.
I am the uneven barstool at 2 am,
And the kiss that doesn't quite feel right.
It drove her mad.
To lunacy occasionally, when occasionally meant most days. She did not
know how to remove it.
Every morning I wake up and see the beautiful woman I aspire to be
Every day is the same, the mirror on the wall, mocking me and taunting me to be someone I am not
The man who you are suppose to be able to trust and love turns out to be the one you have to look out for the most.
The man who was suppose to love you and never hurt you turns out to be the one who can't be trusted.
When I hold it in my hand,
I feel much power
I feel like I haven't been crying for the past half hour
When I lay the cool metal upon my wrist
I Bet you don't know how some of us youths are trying
Consistently attempting to filter and rebirth the "already drugged" mind
whose views are confined to material wealth, sex and guns
My eyes do not “light up like the sunlight upon water,”
My complexion is too blue and white and every girl is hotter,
Society does not reward small chests like mine with glamour,
Darling, when did the blurry claims manipulated youto focus on distorted idea of perfection?You started noticing the smallest flaws
I walk on a Sunday afternoon in 2013.
I walk to the store candy and a lil bit of ice T.
I walk wondering who this man is behind me.
I walk till I can't walk no more and I run
I run and I run.
Stepping out of the steaming showerGazing into the regretful mirrorI see a rosy potato shapeMorphing before my eyesUntil the curves are celluliteAnd the skin is fatThe scale mocks me
Your body is a temple-
And I have burned mine to the ground too many times to count.
I have slashed it and scarred it and bruised it and marred it,
And tried to break the bones of this battered flesh home.
Every child reaches the age
When their thoughts need no consent.
When hearts twist and writhe,
Simple encounters evoke torment.
Days pass as moments,
Slipping through the tightest of grips;
What do you see in the mirror?
“Too skinny”, “Too fat”, “An ugly body”.
Well try to see through the eyes of another,
Who can only see beauty and personality.
Do not let society change the way you see yourself.
Texas sun hidden in the different shades of the sky
I saw dark blue, layered between light
Clouds that battled to occupy space
It is here that I hide my face
And watch grass and flowers opened their leaves
I am not this ugly skin,I am the soul that lives within.It is my job to see it through,it is the least that I can do.A wonderful God made me;He loves me deeply.No one could ever love me more,
-Redefine beauty. Extract all the melanin from my skin, or add just a bit more to yours and let's see what difference it makes in our personalities. No change.
I used to have a beef with bathroom mirrors.
When I left the house that morning
I had three zits.
Small, but still noticeable.
The bathroom mirrors at school disagreed.
They say,
Heart broken by many
Body used by all them
All that I can remember is that they loved me for my face and body
They didn't care for who I was but only just as a prize
Take a good look at me,
Go on, tell me what you see.
Do you see beauty, rich and deep,
So I have quite the funny story:
I was walking down the street, right,
and this lady hollered
“[pig noises] Ay yo Big Bertha,
You should probably go on a diet and lay off the big macs.”
Dear Teen Vogue,
You know, I’d be a lot prettier if I were 6’2
Because then, the thickness of my thighs would be non-existent
They’d be shapely. Toned. Long. Lean and Stunning
Love can be cruel, love can be patient , love watches you sleep after your favourite show has ended.
How was I supposed to know it was so bad to be educated and black?
Do I really intimidate you to the point of you trying to hold me back?
All I've tried to do was make something out of $5 and a dream,
The wise old man is believed insane,
the fool laughs first.
What an ironic suffling of the dealer's deck,
what sad misconceptions accepted by billions.
Fact is fiction, but fiction is fact.
To be happy, society screams at us with images of perfection. What you wear, how thin you can be. Who you are never mattered.
I'm trying so hard to be confident
But in a world full of false hope and lies
Its a struggle, is it not clearly evident.
The fact that world has become so fake and so plastic
There is something very perverse about society. The way women are expected to look...like pre pubescent-adolescents, with no hair anywhere, perfect skin, teeth and hair.
Right now while you’re staring at this screen there’s a girl out there
A boy out there
And they are looking in the mirror and screaming so loud you can’t hear them
Don’t give up just yet,
We all go through hard times
I don’t want to say goodbye,
And I care so please don’t cry
But when I stand here with you,
I see what could be so true
This brown eyed and long-haired girl is beautiful..
Everyone, her whole life, reminded her of her beauty..
Her heart filled with graciousness,
Protected and kept righteous by all her morals.
Big girls are beautiful.
Thigh gaps aren't pretty.
Fat is attractive.
Look at that big butt
And those boobs!
What about those girls
Who are sticks,
Who don't have a butt
As a high school graduate,the job of a college education is what I seek,
The way they see her
The way their eyes scuttle up from her purple painted toes to the kinky curls upon her head
Fixating on the width of her hips
The rotundness of her belly
The cellulite in her thighs
I am told to change.
Never to my face. That would be too simple.
But in the magazines and the movies
and the momentum of society carrying them forward.
You are not right. Change.
Oily skin.
Frizzy blonde hair.
Pear-shaped body.
Flat chest.
Big feet.
Labels we use every day.
I've decided to eat today...
Is a cup of coffee okay?
Only if it's black,
Maybe some strawberries?
Only 2 allowed for you,
Okay.. What about some carrots?
You're really pushing it,
welcome to the issuewhere emotions are lost in the words we’ve foundbut i’m here to change thatactivate switch to operate: freedom is choicehow to do everything right: forgive yourself
My hair, the color of straw
Compared to others it seems very blah
I am not who they think I need to want to be
But do I need to care what they think I should think that I need
My body is curved and round
Taped on her mirror
Are pictures of Goddesses
Angelia, goddess of lips
Kim, goddess of curves
Twin goddesses Mary Kate and Ashley
Deities of being skinny
She wakes up
clickclickclickclick
goes the key board as i sip my morning tea.
Spiling, gushing ,spewng my deepest trauma and heatache.
My therapy, your guilty pleasure.
The best job, if you ask me, is that of a writer.
Society's image:
Skinny.
Tall.
Long hair.
Big eyes.
Fancy clothes.
Big house.
Perfect family.
A toothpick is skinny, not a woman.
A skyscraper is tall, not a woman.
Skinny is in? And fat is out?
If you are large try not to pout.
Lose that weight and you will be pretty.
But be careful because there is no beauty without titties.
NO! You can't love the same gender.
She, she knows all of what love is not. It comes to her like a foreign language nobody has ever cared to teach her.
I once was
A girl caged in lonliness; living nightmare
The devil on my back
Crawled in my head
When I first learned that no one could ever love me more than mea world of happiness previously unseen was discoveredbecause somewhere along the line of aging and scrutiny and timeI was taught to despise myself
Society needs a change.
Society tells females that they are beautiful without make-up, without pretty clothes, and that their weight is perfect.
I'd change my face
The large pores, the dimpled chin
Sharpen the roundness, put teeth in a brace
I examined the curve of my eyes and the shape of my face.
I said "I am not beautiful?"
The words came out like a question because I wasn't sure if it was true.
I am too chubby,
You can see that girl's ribcage,
And she's too normal.
I wear boot-cut jeans,
That one's in booty shorts,
And she only wears skirts.
Society claims
What if today was the first and last time you met me?
Would you be able to have a conversation with me?
Would you be able to look past my complexion and my intonation?
Never once looking at the span of my hips
it is saying somethingwhen i feel worthlesssimply becausei have never beenkissed and havenever been adoredby a boy because thatis all I was made forright?
Any time
Any place
I hear music
Beneath the surface
My brains jingle with
Fast and Furious clips
Flashbacks of my life
Triggering happiness, sadness
By lyrics or tempo
And she realizes in that moment all that is divine and faulted in her life. She stares at what is left of her bare body all frayed around the edges: remnants of despair.
Do you think they’ll notice?
Do you think they’ll notice how I
so carefully excuse myself before it’s time to eat?
Or that when I do, before I’m done, I’m out of my seat, on my feet, into the bathroom
I’m an abomination to this domestication society creates in women everyday
I create my own flow to my own voice in ways that create mini earthquakes
You think because you have placed your hand ever so lightly on my thigh
without a flinch
that you can touch me like that?
My eyes never begged for more
only my heart yearned to be felt...not my body
I wear a size seven,
you want me to be a three.
Forget what you say.
This is real, this is me.
I wear a size large,
you want me to be a small.
You think 5'1" is too short,
In 2009, I became very self conscious after going on a diet for prom and it quickly spiraled out of control.
Four years ago
I saw a girl
I didn't think she was very pretty
Her face wasn't too bad
She had sparkly eyes with long eyelashes
Almost pretty
A question that I often wonder
Fills my mind while the quiet world sleeps.
It seems to pull my sanity asunder,
And the better part of my brain it always reaps.
I look in the mirror
My smile fades
Disgust overwhelms me
As I go through each day
Why am I living?
Why am I here?
Just to disappoint
Living with fear
I'm never good enough
I killed him
I killed the man in my dreams
the man who looked me in the eyes
the man who stole my self-esteem
i dream of happier days:before the cell phone,her now-constant companion.before computers, iPods.before she caredabout how she looks.about fitting in,conforming.back when a night light
The bell resonates through the building
They awaken from their cells and saunter into the halls
They gather ‘round their water fountains and dented grey lockers
I look at the mirror disgusted
I spit at the reflection
Nothing to be proud of
Nothing to see
I scream
Says every girl daily
Each and everyday
The faces look the same
Even when my feelings stray
Maybe I’m the one to blame.
If only you were who I look for
I know you all better than you’ll speak
And life becomes a bore
Stretched into a pirouette Porcelain arms above her head Pristine balance and tight bunned hair A trickle of salt water dread The lace toe shoe grips the edge Atop the orange lip of God Sprawling below is dark abyss She could fall with just a prod
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Sometimes i pretend to be someone famousi wake up like them and dress like them,i slip into their skin and it’s okay.
Caterpillars can't fly,But butterflies can.But what Am I?A creepy crawler,Or an insect with wings?I can't decide becauseI fly, but my body is stillAn insecticide of the lowestKind.
Fat, ugly, worthless
Erase
Bad thoughts, tears, heart break
Replace
Happiness, love, smiles
Take in
Loving yourself, always
Begin
Friends, family, good thoughts
Keep
Do I look hot?
Doesn’t matter, I’m Late
Shit, I forgot
To watch my weight
I tried my best
I got a 58
I failed that test
So I guess I just ate
Don’t think about it
We have our moments, lets get over it, and smile in those moments. i want to stay in your moment of life. so, in the meant time, maybe your dream time, even in between time, let me hold you down.
Inside, they consume me
the words of society
filled with rejection
My heart aches and throbs
as I'm wrapped in the image
of pure pefection
Yet I can not grasp
Are you a scientist?Then why are you placing me on a slide?Who gave you permission to judge every aspect of me?Every strand of my thick hairEvery scar on my legEvery less than perfect nail
Always sad and never gleaming
Very quiet, my head is screaming
Never content with my body, ever
I wish I could lose weight with the pull of a lever
Dreaming for perfection, need to be a 'Heather'
Walking down the hall alone
Her legs feel heavy, dense
Her body seems so empty
Her thoughts are stuck in past tense.
There’s no set place she’s going
Plenty of places she hasn't been
She wants it within herself....peace
Because she can't get it from nobody else
looking in the mirror seeing someone big and fat
but she purges and binge so how come she see that
The dress code is a joke,
Meant to make you choke.
If not a size 0 you dont have it made.
If your hips are too wide its not their problem they will say.
Too short, too tight.
Too loose, not right.
Tap tap
The pen cap clicks down on the metal clipboard.
The harsh light above head blares.
Illuminated. yellow light,
Falling on the skin of the
Already pale beauty.
Careful not to stare,
You're looking skinny like a modelWith your eyes all painted black.Always going to the bathroom,Saying you'll be right back.Well it takes one to know one, kid.I think you got it bad.
You want to know why girls are such bitches?
because we were never taught to love ourselves.
We are constantly being told that we are too fat, or we should be good at sports, we wear too much makeup, or we don't wear enough
I'm just dying
To be perfect.
Whatever it takes,
Will be worth it.
Can I please,
Be enough for you?
I'm stumbling, trying,
To make it through.
And pleasing everyone,
today the secrets outyou are beautifulthat you would ever think otherwise is a crimeyou are beautifula flower no matter the colorno matter the shapeno matter the sizeit is beautiful
I do not like that.
The weird place.
The odd shape.
The abnormality.
I do not like much.
Not what I see.
Not how I see it.
Not much at all.
"But this is okay."
They point out.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" that's what they all say.
Yet, we look in a mirror everyday looking for ways to be more beautiful.
In our society people judge you based on what they see trending on TV, the big screen,
They stare as if I'm some sort of monster,
As I walk insecure and somber.
No man dare look twice at me,
For I am the rancid beast.
Doctor!
Tell me how to make others love me!
Said the Doctor,
Take this pill twice a day
and stop eating fats
Others will come to love you
when your body has changed,
Life seems normal, content and all.
From the outside you see a girl whose standing tall.
But the truth is really a much different story,
For everyday’s a battle that’s really quite gory.
You just don't know who you may fear the world will some day know
Your fears comes and goes but never slows you wonder should you let them show
but there's a feeling deep inside that want let you decide
I see a girl-
She’s shattered. Vanished.
She realizes everything she’s been told is true.
She just stares.
Every memory rushes back to her.
Social society deems me imperfect – just another product went defective
I try to ignore the pressure but the cover of the magazine holds me captive
Yet here we are in our Photoshop world with our newly made disguise
Your life is art
The deep, icy blue of your eyes
And how they glisten amidst a gorgeous, ivory canvas
That canvas is wrinkled with the lines from your smiles
But I would never straighten it out
Why? Why do you look at me like that? I am a normal girl, with feelings and such. Yet you send me to a clinic, because I refuse to consume the garbage you feed yourself. All I want is to be thin, to be that beautiful girl on Cosmo magazine.
Why? Why do you look at me like that? I am a normal girl, with feelings and such. Yet you send me to a clinic, because I refuse to consume the garbage you feed yourself. All I want is to be thin, to be that beautiful girl on Cosmo magazine.
The weight of the world is rest on my shoulders
Depression, anxiety, constant fear
It sits there and laughs at me
It whispers negativity in my ear.
"You cant help her." "You're not good enough."
I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world.
& I'm not the smartest.
I'm slightly more emotional than other girls
I may not have the fattest butt.
Nor the biggest boobs.
Waking up, I hope that today will be a good day.A good body image day that is.
I make my way to the bathroom.First thing I make eye contact with is my biggest enemy: My mirror.
Disparge the innocent, laudable overachieve/ The real world will masticate her eventually/ Avoiding the fiasco of life will soon catch up with the doe-eyed and free-spirted/ only the good die young, my pretty/ One dubious thought, one regret/ One
I look in the mirror, but I don’t see my face,
I see a lot of things that are pretty
out of place.
I gather my tools and I primp and I fashion,
A mask to hide
The flaws I imagined.
A time bomb of innocence
Beginning from the first pain.
30 minutes of the time, molested away.
"Dont tell, Dont tell,"
the sinner would say.
Skin. The reason we're all here. The thing that keeps us together. Please come off. I do not wish to be here much longer. I wish to hover above all of the other hopeless people. Wanting to hear their thoughts.
1. Piece of metal
Repeatedly pressed against my skin
Holding my mind for a ransom
I paid in blood and tears.
Her left hand rests palm-down against the mirror,this hand is relaxed in comparison to her fluttering mind.Who am I? She wonders.
She watches the world
Not saying a word
Playing silently with her doll
When her parent's heads are turned
She cuts her doll apart
"No one is this perfect"
Do not tell me to love the skin I’m in,
When everyone around me does not.
It would be bullshit to say they don’t matter.
Because I’ve heard it my entire life.
who am i
who are you
what are we really
can you answer questions or not really
see we spend so much time judging by wats on the outside
when are we gonna see wats on the inside
alone
strictly practiced
discipline on cold tile
unforgiving
begin
swelling
rushing water
a raging orchestra
filling the tub
distract
Brown skin like the deepest of mahogany,have the deepest of souls but it's a shame that they don't know ...just how much there worth.
They've succumbed and let the world get the best of them then let the ghetto have the rest of them.
White Teeth
Satin Dresses
Perfect Hair
No braces
Tall, skinny
young and pretty
The Barbie Doll
no second guesses.
Who the hell made you queen?
You have a comment on everything
Never a smile, only a frown
All you do is tear us down
You only scream and yell
Making a cheerleader's life a living hell
Fake moments lead to real feelings
But can we separate the two?
Why kid ourselves
when we've got careers to do.
I’m looking at a generation of girls
who reject the word beautiful.
Who’d rather be pinned against a wall
by boys whose names they won’t remember.
They don’t want to remember.
Girls who are afraid of butterflies
Your pale complexion; white and gray,
I pray that you’ll live through another May.
The hair on your head is growing thin,
And I can’t find any more fat on your chin.
It pains me to know that this is your choice;
i'm uneverything .
i have been; i will be.
strung out on a thin string,
but no one seems to see
what these differences can bring.
like a sweet ocean breeze,
the way the rain softly sings,
Beauty is...
Stretch marks & attempted suicide
Scars,
No longer held hostage behind the
Bars of this oppressive society
Or in your cell, taunted by its ever
Learning acceptance of what cannot be changed,
Gaining knowledge of destruction,
Unveiling of the path which cannot be ignored,
Learning old ways which cannot be ignored,
Look in the mirror
Look at what you see
Do you see the same girl,
The one that I see?
When I look at you,
I see a beautiful person
I see the girl you are,
The one you try to hide
Love the skin you are in
Unless its too pale to put that neon crop top on
or its too dark to cover up with blush
Love your body
Unless its too fat to wear a tank top
or too skinny to wear denim shorts
1. Peeing in public restrooms
I have never been
so paranoid.
At Starbucks I will check the lock three times
and even then
I might just have to hold it in.
2. Spiders
they’re just scary
Skin is nothing more than a covering for our bodies
Complete with different shades and degrees
Absolute black and white doesn't exist here
"Who's the fairest?" They all ask. Deciding can be quite the task. Primping, smudging, popping pimples. Her hair is frizzy, oh but such cute dimples! Not him, not her, Oh and God not him. Did you see his crepey mole-rat skin?
Lost in a world tryin' play pretend
Tryin' to prove myself to my best friend.
Wantin' to be somebody, but there's this
girl inside of me fightin' insecurity
Everyone says this girl is beautiful,
Dear girls of the world
who don't believe the compliments,
are tired of the insults,
and never feel good enough,
let me tell you something -
because I know -
We all see you there,
Your pretty face deceiving.
It’s only the outside that matters, right?
Only the outside that people truly care about.
Again, the mirror on the wall
torments me. “You are wrong.
You have no reason to live.
Leave and go away!”
How are you so sure that this is my proper cover?
There is no clear label marked on this pink blanket
I think I should dissolve the adhesive,
peel it off,
and start over
Get those curves men want or those thigh gaps trendy girls have?
Verdict:
You’d be pretty if you lost a few pounds
What is beauty?
Beauty is anorexic,
Perfectly arranged,
Smiles of plastic,
With eyes that couldn’t be colder.
True beauty is shown on the inside and out
But the worlds standards fill girl's heads with doubt
Through magazines, commercials, and billboard ads
It causes girls who don't look that way to feel bad
The miles beneath her feet were many,
but she felt as though she hadn't moved.
Head heavy as any stone she strove to keep her chin up
and her head above water, but she knew.
