Three months.

That's how long I wore makeup in eighth grade-

How long I tried to fit ubiquitous standards.

Solutions for fear of inadequacy:

I wore pushup bras and shook my hips when I walked in an attempt to balance on a precarious edge.

But now I fear loss of reality.

I didn't - don't want to have my natural luster diluted

By a powdery mask that will deceive my eyes.

It projects a falsity that has become more than comfortable.

Not only desired but

Expected.

When I had my gender questioned,

I inquired,

What defines a woman?

An ignorant boy with his manhood rooted in magazines

Had induced in me a need for reassurance.

And then it happened again.

I was told that I would be

More attractive

If I dressed more

Like a "girl."

But I do not dress

Speak

Smile

Eat

For them.

These things are for me.

For my comfort.

For my health.

But what is left when we rid ourselves of the things that we think define us?

We will be brilliant.

We won't have chiseled chests, red lips, or flat stomachs and we will still be brilliant.

We will be people who are not to be defined by society's misanthropic desires.