The sky was falling

In the form

Of grey translucent drops.

 

The air was heavy

In my lungs

So my mind took me away.

 

I made a plan

I packed and ran

Every

         Single

                  Night

 

I pushed out all

The breath I held

When I stood upon the silver floor

I couldn’t take it anymore

So I walked out my back door

 

If your body yelled

Would you feel compelled

To answer its painful plea?

I pretend that it couldn’t be me

 

When stomach aches

Are not what wakes

You up before the dawn

At them you only yawn

 

Then maybe I

Could relate

While I evaporate

The sky is nicer anyway.

What would it take

Is it worth the wait

To finally dissipate?

Decisions must be made.

I wish I would have stayed.

 

So I evaporated

And maybe I

Should have hated

The gathering speed of the fall

But I just looked at them all—

And I felt.

 

Crazy, sometimes,

The things people do

To feel something real,

Or just to look more slight.

But maybe in hindsight—

 

It’s counterclockwise

Spinning outside

These carefully painted lines

Of what we are to hide

 

People don’t like different

Don’t like the ones who think too much

Who think there might be more

Something to even the score

 

So when I evaporated,

I was congratulated.

 

But people don’t really care

And sometimes I don’t dare

To push against the hate

And so I dissipate

I don’t feel anymore.

I can’t wear what I wore.

 

It’s grown a bit to easy

To act like I’m not queasy

When you offer me a bite

But you don’t even seem to notice

And I guess that seems alright.

 

The way my mind and body fight

Torn apart and quite

Frankly it’s just not

An illness that I “caught.”

 

It’s people this and people that

Only do what people like

It’s dot your I’s and cross your t’s

We’re never really free.

And that’s all I can see.

 

I bet you haven’t

Thought what I have

Bet you haven’t

Gone where I have

I hope that you still laugh

Because that’s good

It really is

Just don’t begin to act

As if you know

Something you lack

Sometimes I wish

I could go back

Before the color

Faded to black

 

But for now I look

Up to the sky

That took

Everything I am

As I evaporated.

 

The thing that people

Don’t often realize

What goes up

Comes back down

It’s only a matter of time

 

Maybe all of me that’s gone

Is falling down onto my lawn

In the form

Of pretty,

         Grey

                  Raindrops

 

maybe.