Reflection
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Thinking of a past while looking forward ahead
What it was, what it means, what has been said
A long road of reflection the ins and outs of pain
Pieces are put together just to fall out once again
Haunted by an inescapable sense of waste...
In the throes of striving to be chaste.
Watching youth erase without trace...
At a pace that fails to win the race.
Giving one's years to one who is cruel...
As I lay
Full of dismay
I drift far away
I hear my thoughts say
The dark was more enticing
Than the day
It is not because you miss, crave, or yearn for something
that it comes to you
It is because that something misses, craves, yearns for you
that it comes to you.
My story is a mirror of souls I have been daily
With divine ink duly set diurnally
Each season with a taste of weather narrates spirally
Walking with the crowd, alone and down,That's what happens when you are not able to be found. Emptiness resides inside, silence becomes vibrant,sometimes I become a clown, or just get drowned,And happiness is nowhere to be found. Smiles resist e
I Seen You Falling
This Night Of Fall
Having Turned Winter
Right Before My Eyes.....
I Felt Your Constraint
Your Hands Around My Neck
I Felt This Tightening
In My Chest, You Try To Hide.....
An old personal narrative from the Composition 1 class I took back in 2018 during my first year in the Oakland ACE program. Uploading here for posterity*, since Google Drive seems to have mysteriously eaten quite a few of my documents.
If, for once, we could listen to the other and forget the erratic complaints we force out, I’d try not to sound so bleak.
We jump all over the place and never reach understanding.
The canoe has a hole in it
Still we took it out so far
And travelled all the coves
No one is in the houses
Only buzzards flying above us
Time is owned by the trees
Well a lifetime slipped right on by
Underneath my wing
In the space between youth and it's timeless lies
A lifetime found its way ahead of me
One more time
I thought i'd outrun it
So What Would You Say If You Had The Chance...
To Speak To YOURSELF In Your Younger Days... ?!?
When was the exact moment I fell, I don’t remember, but look at me, my spirit is loud and clear, it tells?
Like monkey business it smells 8-months ago, I could never foretell, or predicted a “love” such as this.
You are the greatest secret
kept from yourself.
It is in hiding your Light
that you become lost.
It is in resisting the moment,
Miami was a charm of a city
What difference does that make me
I learnt to rise and not feel usual hurt.
Time after time it was pleasure for every measure.
Love was the spice of my life
Are you afraid of what lies beneath?
Afraid of the things that stand in the darkness, watching you.
The things that keep you up at night.
honeysuckle lips
almost touching mine, but not quite
they drip below
the crook of my nose,
slide down,
down,
What is it about the night that makes people so scraed?
Is it because of the fact that they know that if something bad were to happen, they would not be sparred?
Sun beams drew me to the river’s edge,
Pulled me knee deep in a mound of sedge.
Light’s encompassing aura of gold,
Took a grip on me with a bold hold.
Looking down to see what was above,
So ... Who Do You See … ?
When You Look In … " Your Mirror " … ???
Someone COMPLETE Or Someone Whose Glimmer …
Isn't Quite As Bright As You Might Like … ?!?
There,
You sit in the corners of your emotions,
Sunshine gleams on your face
But an ever-increasing shadow, is cast,
Feeling it can't be contained,
Your sentiment,
Your dejection,
Your vile,
Have you ever taken a moment
To look at that bright planet
Hanging in the night sky that they
Tell you was once a place
We called home?
So What Is … " Strength " … ???
And What Is … " Weakness " … ?!?
Well Strength Is NOT Within HARD HEADS ... !!!!!
Who ALWAYS Tend To Have REGRETS ...
About The Things They're QUICK To Express ...
A drop falls and shatters
on the surface of the lake
as I stare between the rippled waves
and ponder each mistake.
I peer down at the water;
it peers back up at me.
there are going to be moments when you’re sad and you don’t know why
or maybe because middle school just plain sucks and your mom doesn’t understand
and maybe she never will
It seems funny to have a thing
A song, a place, a movie
Associated with a person
Yes, this is our song
We claim it
No, it cannot be your song
Because it is our song
We hold on to this
I've Just Read A Poem ...
About ... " Child ABUSE " ... !!!
It's Touched Me So Deeply ... !!!
I'm Now Feeling ... BLUE ... !!!!
It's Filled Me With SADNESS ...
And FILLED ME With MADNESS ... !!!!!
What's With People These Days ?
Societal Decay ....
Is On Constant Display ... !!!
So What Do You Stand For ... ?
At The End of The Day ... ?!?
Do You Stand For ABUSE ...
From Ignorant Youth ... ?!?
look in the mirror
can't help but see someone
who feels such terror
they'll be loved by no one
study my reflection
I find nothing attractive
crooked complexion
Reflection of I
When I look at you
I see parts of me I fight to accept
You remind me of that little girl in me
Although when I see you we don't exchange words, there's something about you
Mirror
Look at yourself in the mirror today, tell yourself how beautiful you are, don't forget to smile because smiling is your medicine.
"You're so beautiful..."
I whisper in the dark,
your eyes wide and red
but you still have my heart
"I love you..."
Ribs pressed against your skin
you must be starving for my love
"You're so beautiful..."
I whisper in the dark,
your eyes wide and red
but you still have my heart
"I love you..."
Ribs pressed against your skin
you must be starving for my love
Is it normal
to want to die?
Is it normal
to want to cry?
Is it normal
to internally scream?
Is it normal
to come apart at the seams?
Is it normal to hate
What is it like to battle your mind?
It’s like looking into a mirror
But the reflection
That looks back at you
Talks back
Spitting back words like acid
The day I almost took a life.
It was July 27th around 7:30 p.m.
It was a very rainy night
My boyfriend and I were coming back from a Chase bank.
I am by Christopher White
I am a fisherman with a rod
I hear the water beating the soft rocks that lie in streams
She is pure. I will defile her.
I will force my thought
I will offer my woes
I will share my joys
and she will take them oberiantly.
she will suffer my ink
I will exploit all she has to offer so
To love you now is to love you then;
adopting a ticking time bomb and calling it my best friend.
Forgetting that the fuse was lit,
Each start
is a chance
to look
into the depths
of one's self
in ways that we
don't ever see
in the day to day
lives that we live
only though watching
what we do
I run my hands down over my head
Outlining the shape of my skull
And wonder
This year runs, the next one sprints
Summer birthdays start to lose meaning
When I was little
I used to be angry at the world
For letting the night sky
Grow dark.
I was angry at them
For taking away the stars
My heart is heavy asking will I ever
be good enough for myself.
When I look at myself why do I peer through
my reflection like it’s nothing?
Like I am nothing.
Even when I say I am good enough and
Winter begins when our eyes meet
We cast our icy stares at each other
And I'm frozen where I stand
I pound the glass in frustration
You do the same
The same idea must be crossing your mind
I flick a cig and it lands on a leaf,
Burns to the ground and spins my beliefs,
Here is where I see a glimpse of hope,
A visual summary.
Time and time again,
I see this reflection,
I fear that the cycle continues
That poverty runs behind me for most of the race
But always ends up the winner
I fear that the cycle continues
It was a mild evening
A boy sat in silence
The rushing fountain embraced his thoughts,
fastened his mind to the stone below
The mist touched his face,
its caress as soft a a lover
As I lay here with my thoughts..thoughts of reflection. Thinking about the hearts I mishandled carelessly, breaking them after adding them to my collection.
Reflection
September 10, 2018 ~ Monday
Wake up one day
Staring into the face of someone I don’t recognize
Are those my eyes or hers
i look inside myself,
i found a stranger
i look out to my mirror
and i found a stranger
i looked into a window
i found lots of strangers
i looked out to the classroom door
i sat in my us history class 4 years ago watching my spirit slowly split from my body
and i wondered if everyone saw what i saw
watching from the outside in, a spectator to my own body.
She paints the ocean
Washed and faded memories
Hiding a child's laughter in the bubbles of sea foam
Happier times float longingly
In her heavy, tired brushstrokes
The reflection of a young sun,
Within human introspection comes a price,
A revelation to the darkness of the mind.
Venturing inside requires the roll of the dice,
Are you ready for something not so kind?
A swirling pool of restless thoughts swim beneath the surface,
Walking down a low lit path, I’m looking for my purpose,
water wraps around my legs
sticky with salt
and bone numbing wisdom
my fingertips stroke murky clouds
billowing across
the sea’s glass
What stories would old bones tell us?
What stories would they sing?
I can feel my soul screaming
But my head won't let it in
I wonder if it felt like this, Rome falling way back when.
I've been broken and abused
Ripped apart and misused
But yet, somehow,
I still function.
I've found fields of sorrows
And hopeless tomorrows
Yet I still yearn to feel something
I look in the mirror
And do not recognize
The reflection
Which stares back at me directly.
Who have I become?
She is not who she once was
My life. My life?
I sit in class staring at the wall.
The teacher spewing "knowledge"
I am lost. Lost in my thoughts until I realize I have not been thinking.
One day i woke up to being alone. Not in the other human being type way.
The alone you feel when you crave a look that understands you.
My Uncle joined the circus,
which is okay,
I guess,
if you like that sort of thing.
Truth is,
that sort of thing really
creeps
me
out,
like how
Lunchables
I look at myself in the mirror and only see a monster.
I see the fat that sticks off of my stomach; what am I? Pregnant?!
I see the stretch marks that line my legs, I must be fat.
Dear future me,
I am from a softly lit night sky stretching out into the dawn,
a homely little cottage basking in its warmth.
Sometimes at night,
when the second-hand
ticks endlessly, forever
mocking me for my inability
to grasp the embrace of sleep
because I am too busy thinking
about you and the burn
For the wicked, unknowingly suffering in their ignorance
I wept
For the lost, wandering the plains of a broken nation between salvation and damnation
I wept
You fickle thing,
You keep on looking,
For your reflection in others,
Anxiously sending out,
Clouded rays of light to broken mirrors,
When will you see,
That the light reflected,
Dear Mom,
Or Pam, I suppose.
Enabling the lowest of my lows.
Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea?
Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
Dear pen,
We’ve been together for years
Changing with the seasons
And yet our character is still the same.
Across thousands of pages,
Dear I,
You are always there
Only hidden by my ego
When I fight, I learn to surrender
Your honesty is my power
Dear Us,
I am always aware
Learning to let go
Dear Future Self...I really hope that you are not theMe that I am now.The one who is too patientFor her own good.
Dear Justin,
You do not know it quite yet
But your fate has always been quite set;
By the flourish of your sword
And by the integrity of your word;
Upon reflection
There’s a madness that resides
Where an emptiness used to
Thinking back on the kites that lead me by the wrists through the past
"Stop overthinking”You say it as if it's easy, As if I could just flip a switch and end the constant mental processes
Spinning and toiling with the thought that life is funny,
how you can be so stable and have the ground ripped out from underneath.
At least I have a home and job, at least I am not in the streets,
Dearest Reflection,
The sun illuminates my room.
You present yourself.
Once upon a time, blue and hollow,
now radiant like the star light flowing in.
Your smile, once seldom, rare, and far between,
Dear Future Self,
Do you remember the beat
The thumping of feet
Up and down the halls
In and out of classrooms
Enormous, silent flashes
Fill the arid night
Lightning so bold it reveals clouds
For many an arid mile
One, two seconds apart
A jovial dance
Performed on a stage
Dear You,
This is my least favorite part of my day.
I can never escape her eyes.
And my body can never escape her judgments.
"Bent, broken, barbed"
That's all she seems to say as her nails
Dear Grandma,
It’s been roughly a year and a half since you left,
Mom was never the same.
Uncle still sits in your room from time to time and tries to drink away the pain.
Ever wanna just get away,find a place to stop and think?
Somewhere alone with your thoughts, so in your mind you can sink.
Soak in the beauty of your surroundings,and enjoy the view.
These war-torn calloused hands of mine,
scarred and bruised and filled with memories.
That scar on the soft spot of my palm?
Gliding through the frozen ice portrayed as time,
It is so easy to forget the memorable events
That paints the portrait of the world.
Yet, with one more careful glance
1. It’s okay to cry, don’t let him beat it out of you because if you hold those tears inside, they will eventually drown you.
2.Embrace the parts of you that are fearless-they make you strong. Don’t suppress that, own it.
with you
there’s no need for explanations
and no misinterpreted expectations
with you
there are no fears
Love is wild,
Like a flower.
When you like a flower you just pluck it,
When you love a flower you water it daily...
You nourish it,
Heal it,
Rejuvenate it,
What perfect means to me
Is no perfection at all.
It means that you are clumsy,
You are loud,
You are quiet,
You are graceful.
It means that you are awkward,
You are simple,
The girl in the mirror looks at me with sunscreen still on her nose,
A smile plastered across her face as she realizes her mistake,
I turn away from the mirror and try to rub the sunscreen in,
Pray, and a message you’ll receive,
Sitting unconvinced of eternal love and devotion,
Abandoned in a confinement of grief,
Weary of further exploration into this emotion;
Here we are going
Down an ever familiar road,
To only find
It's not the same at all.
It used to be
Something different
But I guess things are never the same.
They are always changing
Something I like to remember when I need to cheer up
Is that I was not a part of the plan
I wasn't thought to be possible
I have gotten better at this
disguising Bullshit
yes I said shit
I'm tired from taking hits
From people that ain't it
this poem ain't pretty
letting my petty
come out and greet thee
Dear Mr. “Nice” Guy,
You buttered me up with precious words, so magical to my ears.
You filled me with new hope, an escape from my painful past.
Today. Today I question myself
Who is in my life?
Who cares? and Who holds me back?
The answer awaits
You see, for me to ask that
I would need to understand myself
What do I want?
A peek into my eyes and you see nothing.
I hide my emotions well, may be too well.
I am very good at it, the result of decades of practice.
Might even venture to say that I have mastered the art of emotional silence.
It is awfully hard to pick a fight with something that you can not see or reason with.
All my life, the one thing that I have never seen, the one thing to which I have not been formally introduced.
We are capitalist slaves with broken dreams.
The red and white are now meaningless streams,
and the stars no more etched seams
on a flag that sells deceit as equality.
No need to quote our anthem's wrongs.
Amazing to grace!
Happy!
Very Intersting!
I feel down!
Not a very good feeling
I should speak.
But i don't want to toy with it
Nor do I want to break it!
One more moment
Frozen
One more moment
Paralyzed
Break the ice and the silence
Break the silence so deafening
I'm your broken mirror
Look into me here
I'm your broken mirror
I’m from sunlight shining,
Birds singing in early afternoon.
The fortress beneath sheltering pine trees,
Narrow paths I’ve walked a thousand times.
There are no monsters in the closet--
Not yet.
Because the fangs of friends have yet to be sharpened
School is a land of heroes and misfits
A year is the blink of an eye
That sheds a tear,
That makes things clear.
A lot can change,
And stay the same.
As the eye opens
And sees the light
What once was a blur
It began as it always does: empty promises, hollow resolutions, and the hope of a blank slate despite all else.
It began with the same empty conversations, the same inevitable vows for a better tomorrow.
If I died, I’d cry
But if I didn’t, then I’d never be alive
I think I’m sad sometimes
But other times I think that I’m just lying
I like to sing out loud about death
And feeling bad, and never being their yet
The sun rose and shone on my face through the window
I threw myself out of bed and fixed my hair
I walked up to my mirror and realized that I wasn't looking at my own reflection
Her hair was a mess
2016: The Year Fear Took Over
You Think it will be the best year
You Think you will grow
You Think you will change
Last year was no different then the year before it
or the one before that
or the one before that ,
because lets all me honest right now , every year kinds sucks.
It doesnt matter whos in charge
I cant breathe! YOUR world suffocates me.
YOUR world, Yes! YOUR world because
You have never made me feel welcomed in it.
Am very much the alien, lost in YOUR world.
Never ceasing to remind me that I am different.
Slipping under the guards of yellow tape, that warns "stay away," burying myself into clouds and space. Locked into this haven, reserved only for my soul,
A toast to the New Year, the three of us here,
The three muskateers, and together we are strong,
Our bond is forever, our cause greater when we belong
Brace, for winter is upon us, anticipate the loss,
The world is changing.
For better, or for worse?
Last year people seemed to overlook me
In my surroundings I felt cursed
What did I done wrong? I asked
I received no answer, so I wore a mask
2016
january, it's january
i am 16 years old now
everything is good, and happy for once
february, it's february
for the first time, i have a partner on valentine's day
First
Two Tries
Third Failing Attempt
Four Trials of Flames
Fifth Error Yet Rises Above
Six Six Six was the Luck
This year,
love has so many more meanings than the last.
Love takes up more of the space in which emptiness lived until now.
This year, love can be definable,
or not.
Like a flower, I have grown
The way leaves soak up sunlight,
I have gained new knowledge and experience:
Met so many different people
Three-sixty-fourHas knocked this time With Three-sixty-fiveStill close behind.The day begins
Emotional healing and heartache, / Her Mother coddle her as if she was / Seven years old, / Red plump cheeks, / Streams of water spilled down / Hitting the tongue in a form of / A salty back-slap of / Betrayal for not being able to / Hold
I don’t know who I am anymore,
I can’t distinguish myself from my friends,
Who I am doesn’t even matter,
Because we’re all pawns in one giant chess board,
A valuable year soars by,
Opportunities and experience it provides.
Yet a greedy year glides by,
Toxic relationships and people it hides.
I'm afraid
I'm afraid of my own voice
I'm afraid of my own mind
I'm afraid to express my love
even though it's one of a kind
I baptized in diluted water
Changed my voice to appear harder
What makes me happy?
What an odd little question you ask
I thought life was supposed to be hard
I thought I was supposed to pass by misfortune without any regard
I thought you wanted me to be miserable
Write what you know, they say.
Write what you know. What do I know?
I don't know how to trust (you can thank my dad for that)
I don't know how to seperate dreams from reality
Years go by as they always do
Some go fast, others slow,
But never a year taken so long
As this year's past.
Changes occur as they always do.
Some welcome, some not.
Haircuts and new friends,
Today, I woke up.Yesterday, I ate toast.The Day Before That, I rode my bike.I don't know. The change between Today and Yesterday and the Day Before That are difficult to see.But if you asked me the difference between this year and the last?
If I were to write you a eulogy
I would start by saying
You are not dead
I still see you in the mirror
In the smile lines painted
permanently onto my face
I carry you in the baggage under my eyes
As New Years day came, the words "new beginnings" engraved my soul.
I was tired of playing games, and from us taking it slow.
I made my decision, i was moving to miami, cause you had my heart.
Packin bowls and all I smell is loud
My senses gotta be fucked
Since when can I see sound?
Dumbfound you have me
Bruh I'm Not so grounded can we
i wonder what the others feelwhen drinking wine or grape juice.it's strange, i know--it tastes to melike comfort, love, identity--the fruit of the vine, warm chanukkah nights,
‘Today’ my mother says, triumphant, ‘we are bottling peaches’.
When I ask why, my mother tells me that it is ‘our tradition’
As though I have bottled peaches before.
I have never bottled peaches before.
You Are A Better Son Than Your Dad
Dear Son you were born in the afternoon
it was god’s felicity and incredible boon
lullaby your grandma began to croon
you crying face looked like glowing moon
It starts with a feeling, the pinprick before the stab. Imagine a box. Stored in it are the most pessimistically intense feelings.
Who am I?
I still don't know
I've got a lot to learn
And a long way to go
There is so much to do
So much to explore
And one day i'll know
What I came here for
I've been looking
puddles reflect many wonders
they tales tales that make one ponder
but beware for they reflect the present wonders
Only oneself can create future wonders
Oh puddles you make me ponder
Someone who can't make up their mind.
Unable to tell yourself that you can do whatever you want.
Maybe you are what everyone says you are.
Short note: the following poem is in Villanelle style.
As words that infuse life into a dark place,
Poetry gave a face to the tangled mess in my mind,
As strokes on a page that probe a soul’s triumph and waste.
Beauty is a broken mirror.You try to pick up the piecesNot caring that the sharp edgesPierce your natural skin.The rough edges scar your body; They create jagged lines across something Already beautiful.
Moon shineSun shineweave through the linesthat divide and marginwhat we interpret as realityonly what is tangible and experienced but what of the invisible?
Have you ever felt alone?Like there's all these people around you at work or schoolSmiling and laughingWith their friendsAnd theirBest friends.
It’s difficult, to say the least,that with dying embers follows,a shift to a sobering cease,leaving thy blushing touches hollowed.
So I sit here surrounded by acquaintances, friends, and best friends i've made over this short but arduous 4 years
Poetry and I,
We are inseparable.
We are long lost friends
Who found each other
Inside cracks of foaming hate
And melting sorrow.
Poetry and I,
We are connected by truth.
When I was 5 I wanted to be a singer.
Music brought smiles to my mother’s face
and stars clouded my vision.
Because of that singing felt right,
but that was before I knew I had no talent.
FLORIDA, COCA-COLA, A TYPEWRITER
I moved to Florida because I wanted to write a book.
I moved to Florida because I wanted to drink Coca-Cola on the beach and write a good book.
I'm not sure I like my reflection;He looks at me funny.There's something in his eyesThat boasts he knows me too well.And I just don't trust him-I think my secrets he might tell.
Do I love myself? Do I hold my own dear? Do I wake up and live a life of no fear?
Do I look in the mirror and see a queen? Do I look at my hands and feel machine?
The mirror's peers peering
Into the glass mask erected to hide
That he takes advantage of their selective hearing
To conceal the burning hell inside
Terrified that the mirror's fears blazing
Heavy breathing
Emotions seething
Mirror stumbling in the darkness
Chest and lungs heaving
Reflections causing pain so heartless
Now crying, curled up and screaming
Panic
Reflection
The most important of actions
The mirrors have it mastered
Replicated image captured
Their faces face others
Their eyes eyed by their pupils
But behind the glass burns a fire
the clock ticks remarkably fast,
take a deep breath and look back,
each moment is becoming the past,
think of experiences you still lack.
take a deep breath and look back,
Your words are the Holy Scriptures I know by heart
Confirm me with your smile and let me view God’s art
Your hand’s caress surely has power over me
My skin is blessed as my mind drowns in dopamine
It must feel great that your life has a soundtrack
Forget responsibilities, you'd rather sit back
Relax, just be a character not claiming any agency
How are you your own side role? Wake up, you ain't no baby
You
I hate you
And yet I’m supposed to love you
I want to be rid of you
Yet I never will completely
A rapid fire brain.
Unceasing thoughts,
Seemingly distant,
Yet present.
So very present.
Immersed in the moment,
But all caught up in a jungle gym of reverie.
Too focused to be distracted.
I look into the mirror
Confused and blue.
Where is the girl that I once knew?
She is hiding
Deep
Underneath my skin
What I wouldn't give
To see her again.
She is bubbly
Curious
On a winding path I wander
Ahead of me I see a mixture of light and dark
Because born of sadness, joy is
Branches whack me in the face
Roots shooting from the ground try to trip me
My sack weighs as much as I,
if a mirror
was placed
before you
and you cast
your gaze
upon it,
what would you see?
if the reflection that comes back
is not yourself,
I stand before the mirror
And all I see is an error
A bloody X across my being
Telling me this ain’t worth seeing.
8/19/12, age 18
At five years old, my hometown seemed like Wonderland,
Countertops that towered over me, the aroma of baked goods
Infiltrating the crowded sidewalks, coercing me to want a taste.
Who am I when nobody can see?
Behind closed doors and darkness,
I am truly me.
Guarantee.
I am the one with the big heart.
You know…?
The one that always ends torn apart.
Without filters I fear for my mind
and the tricks it plays on itself all the time
Without filters in which I see the world
My eyes would see opportunity everywhere
and not just the beaches,
I am smiling too wide,
I am looking too directly at the photo lens
Click. Click.
I tilt my head just a little bit further and I will feel pretty
Click. Click.
Too bright. Delete. Too shiny. Delete
Behind the beige powder, behind the jet black liner,
Behind the brave brown eyes, behind the fake smile,
There is a girl.
Aside from the straight auburn hair, aside from the sculpted brows,
Red locks of fire
Framing my expression
Eyes of changing colors
From under the earth to the green above
Legs of a gazelle
Nose of a boar
Wide grin and sparkling teeth
Pristine and perfect
She stares back at me with her brown squinty eyes,
her lopsided brows raised in apprehension.
She raises her palm and her delicate finger taps the surface.
"I know," she says.
My eyes glaze over.
Everyone you meet -
the ones that you avoid-
these people are your reflection.
See yourself as they see you,
Would you be welcomed or Rejected.
"Who is that?" you ask as you stare her way.
shes changed so much.
"Why is she like that?" you wonder everyday.
"Look at her stomach!" You say, grossed out.
She hates herself
In the Mirror is a gratifying reflection,
a young girl seeking for attention.
An outsider wanting to be thin,
desperatly wanting to fit in.
someone that's been in a frown, constantly being let down.
Mirrored
That is without glass
A place inwhich glamour lies
Our pictures hidden
By the pictures of ourselves
Hidding the natures of ourselves
From day to day we fight to see the beauty behind thee,
these cuts we cover dust to find the strength within the idea of we,
anger leads to failure to go where we strive to be,
denial of hope in the beauty we do not see,
She looks into the honest, fogged mirror
And she sees a person she’s proud of
She sees the deep lines stretched upon her forehead
Symbolizing the wisdom of her old age
She sees the dark circles hugging her eyes
She tilts her head back, rolling curls of dusky brown hair fall over her shoulders.
Copper eyes with piercing abilities stare into my soul... strangely familiar.
Everyone tells me how
beautiful I am, and yet
I don't see none of it.
All I see is a hopeful
girl holding on to false
promises and dreams.
They gather around a
A leaf spirals down
Glint red-gold
Brittle brown
Above the park pavement.
The children pause
Pensive watching
Still as stone
Observing it fall.
A filigree fire
A dying hope
Universal infinite, as strung upon the stars
Collapsing voids, swirling masses of rock and gas, slowly losing solid grasp
Drifting into worlds where the unknown dominates a presence of oxygen
Do you ever just
have one of those days where
you wake up and
nothing seems right?
One of those days where
you look down the hall and
someone has turned off the lights?
Mirror Talk
For a while
I’ve been saying what I don’t truly know
I thought I made myself
A long time ago
Looking in a reflection
Hoping my thoughts won’t worsen
Confused...
Wishing that I knew what to do.
Angry.
Yearning for the day
that I'll get a clue.
Get a clue as to why I
let them antagonize me.
Because all I really want
is to be free.
Tuve un vistazo del cielo
Exhalo un gran exhalación
Un aleteo en mi pecho
El mano en el muelle y empujón
Time goes by so quickly there was little time to contemplate the joy we had in our daily lives
We hardly thought of our loved ones and our friends because our hectic life had no room for it
I pieced together the clouds in the sky
and they were so perfect
God asked me to paint the night
So many stars, I broke the sky
I broke the sky
A structure alone
Of jointed bones
With a thin layer
Of mortal beauty
Fair skin and dark eyes
Fair heart and dark mind
Oh I pray that this
Is all there's to me
My reflection is
a mirage
purely an image
Based
on deception
hidden with lies
buried in secret
It whispers happiness
to me
But all I can see in
I look into the mirror, a grim expression on my face.
For I know that she is staring back at me, just like she always does.
Such an honest expression, one that seems to look deep into my soul.
Dance is known as the language of the soul . A boundless reach. An endless beauty that waits to capture and move.
Exact image shown in a different light
Image relected back to you
shows you the way others view you.
This is not a poem,it is a waning recollection.
I danced with death in Bermuda,entangled in his unescapable grasp,my deepest insecurities mirroredby his icy and desolate self.
My head, thickset with smoke, emotion's run,
Arid hills ring augmented, fragile child
Twists, and vanishes to midnight blue sun,
Perception, understanding beguiled.
Who am I
Shaheed Baukman
9/11/2013
You use me every day, causing you to become complacent to my significance
She was a sad girl
Although, no tears fell from her eyes.
Her sadness was hidden
Her smile full of lies.
She had so many dreams
Mirror, Mirror on the wall
When will I feel beautiful?
I feel as though I have no call,
Tell me is it worth it all,
Mirror, Mirror on the wall?
Mirror, Mirror made of glass
Growing up is tough, rough, but I''m learning a bunch.
About Who I am, Who I want to be, and all the new people I meet.
Sometimes I wish my life would all slow down,
I'm becoming a Junior in High School
I walk a lonely road in the dark
Filled with thorns and thisles
I hear music, see a small light
I am wearing tattered old ripped blue jeans
I am cold
I am not the only one in the White Room.
Sheer fabric whispers from the windows
Goblet in hand, I drink to the Grecian lady
White dress, raven ringlets frame the face
Of porcelain
A laugh escapes
When I watch you
thoughts calculating like an abacus
thinking, examining an unknown world
and classifying it as "lost"
I cry.
When I watch you
lips pursed like a padlock
I'm attracted to mystery
I jump into the unknown
Assuming that it's good
Because it's new.
I want you because you're different
You're elusive
You're confusing
You suprise me
Oh it pays to be funny
It pays to be smart
It pays to work hard
And complete what you start
But what do we make
Of the talented fool
Who inherits the earth
And who thinks he should rule?
Texas sun hidden in the different shades of the sky
I saw dark blue, layered between light
Clouds that battled to occupy space
It is here that I hide my face
And watch grass and flowers opened their leaves
I'm about to graduate from high school and this year went by extremely fast
Junior year I had a plan about where I was going to college and summer plans
How I wanted to be more social and join the track team
I want to reach up and touch the tip
Of the tallest tree on the tallest hill
And maybe then I'll get a look
At all the world and have my fill
Of forests and mountains
Of lakes and streams
I sit on a crooked tree branch
Leaning against it
As I stare out into the distance
Mountains tower above
Darkened shadows with white tips
Shrouded in pale mystery
Meadows crowd the land below
My body is trapped
My mind is free
The spirits that swirl from my body
must flee
and feel around me
the air that they plague
a mystical sense
so close and so vague
Rain drops on the pond,
Their tiny little ripples that stir the water in curious patterns.
Oh, how I love to watch the rain.
Maybe our lives are like those itty bitty rain drops,
You look in the mirror but
what you see isn't really you
Sure it's you standing there
but it's missing something too
You don't see the way your eyes sparkle
when talking about something you like
To the one with unbearable anxieties and sorrows,
Holding you back from living and breathing towards tomorrow
Believing that the light of hope on your Savior's shoulders
Will fail to reach you in time
We have some planes…four words that changed the world. Men, women, children, even a three year old girl. In 102 minutes 2,977 innocent people gone. Now families are left not able to go on.
I'm the color of your eyes,
you're the color of my socks,
so what?
He protested: but what about me?
I remember the comets
The day my walls fell—
Crooked as my reality
Crumbles into a rubble
I felt choked as
Fate’s hand throws dust
Into my eyes blinding
I will never amount to anything.
I will have no role,
no impact on this world.
Am I significant?
The world would go on without me.
I will pass from this place
and nothing will be changed.
As I look at my life right now, I see ridges and bumps, I see valleys and hills and rivers that I haven'
I saw a picture of her
Somewhere
With snow in her hair
And a forgotten smile
Holding a snapshot
Of her simple beauty
I thought
I recognized her…
She had a bad habit of
I look out the window and what do I see?
I see a strange little girl staring right back at me.
She scrunches her nose and begins to pout
because she just cannot seem to figure me out.
The sickled sling which cast doubts beckons from the blackened light.
An inevitable dream that awakens me abruptly, haunts my ever waking moment.
I stand in front of this mirrorI rub my eyes to try and see clearerI stare at this reflection
As I lay down in bed
I think about what I could have done differently
I think about what my life could have been
What if my dad had never left?
What if my sister would have never been born?
I woke up with half of me missing.
Perhaps it was tired of the other,
Constantly clashing and roiling,
Always at odds with one another.
I woke up with half of me missing.
I watched shadows dance on the wall last night.They told me the stories of their every plight.And I cried, because it reminded me that I was alive;That when they stopped, I’d have no place to hide.
My reflection gives me a disappointed glance
As I stare back at my appearance.
I take a peek inside my head
Floor by floor all the same with souls; persons with names
Floor by floor smothered with ash; smothered in flames
Floor by floor with worried looks on faces
Floor by floor with no safe spaces
In 2009, I became very self conscious after going on a diet for prom and it quickly spiraled out of control.
A question that I often wonder
Fills my mind while the quiet world sleeps.
It seems to pull my sanity asunder,
And the better part of my brain it always reaps.
Last night I watched the clouds go by. It was 1AM in Alaska so there was still lots of light. I sat and watched as they slowly scuttled across the sky, neither trying to impose upon the other.
Do not be like a jagged rock;
static, forlorn, yet easily eroded.
Do not be like the mountain;
overbearing, ignorant, unmovable.
Do not be like the wind;
blowing too hot or very cold.
Every family has its ups,
Every family has its downs,
Every family has its smiles,
Every family has its frowns.
Every family has its sunshine,
Every family has its rain,
Every family has its happy,
One of the saddest days of American History
The reason it happened, we don't understand why
Watching that first plane fall
Was like watching fire fall from the sky
9/11 will always and forever be
Her body was a temple,
handcrafted, with exeptional curves
heavenly, lightly fragranced with cocoa butter and almond oil
She invited men inside,
and the temple began to cave in.
Instantaneous instinct in the shadows of
My yesterday; the nostalgic scent sickens me.
What used to plunge my soul in hypnosis
Is now a long-lost, hurtful memory,
A reflection in which I've built immunity
I am convinced thatThese are the days
i will remember lookingback and forth
between glass,asking
what does TruthFeel like?
Sailing in the waters of which You wept,
You sees a Light in the distant of the cove,
a Light that Reality would refer to as
a dead end.
The Light fades,
then flares,
fades,
I look deep into the windowless abyss falling further and further into the never ending wormhole i call a brain
I found the devil,
not in hell, but in
the infinite space
between my body and
the mirror.
Love,
Deep love,
Why?
I am Vile!
Villainous, Mischievous
Destructive, Productive
Seclusive, Inclusive
Hate,
Deep hate,
Why?
I am, I!
Represent, Comprehend
Here I am sitting now
Thinking of that long lost day
I remember years ago
The day that struck us all
I was sitting with my dad
In that lonely den
When on the TV came the news-of-
You watch the number on the digital clock
gyrate a teasing dance that burns your eyes
and you can feel every second that ticks by
in the tightness of your skull and the
dryness of your eyes.
I am ineloquent.
My mind is a ball of yarn the cat has played with- it's tangled and mangled. Distorted.
I pull the string from my mouth, but I sometimes reach knots.
I am ineloquent - but only in a sense
Yes I was old seven
when the planes came crashing down
When firey gray skyes hit an unexpecting city
and unexpected loses were abound.
Yes I was tiny
but I still understood
not all the big words
People are unpredictable.
If you think they are who they say they are, then you're wrong from the start.
You can only know somebody, if you truly know their heart.
But how will you know that if they cover up their scars,
Behind my bedroom door,
I hear screaming and fighting;
Someone always ends up crying.
They try and hide it,
But from were I sit,
It gets louder, and louder;
Overwhelming my ears.
Mirror, mirror shed some light
I need to see the foe I fight
I need to see what's wrong with me
I will fight to prove I'm free
I'm not the man I used to be
Tell me why can they not see
We go so far to find we are alone.As I wander the faculties of my mindI come to the conclusionThat time is the pinO' self-destruction When I lie at nightMy subconscious mind takes flightI journey to planes on astral connections
A mind has vacated its body
Escaping voids lingering deep within a battered soul
With ignorance to the disconnect it harvests
A storm is brewing yonder
And one will become wary listening to the thunder
Wandering memories retrieved every year
A different perspective from all my peers
Everytime tears befall
Due to the attack we all recall
As I begin to slumber, I start to wonder
The greatest struggle a man faces is himself.
How shall I describe man?
He is full of trickery, deceit, and lies.
He manipulates and twists the world for his best interest.
He is a hypocrite.
I see a girl-
She’s shattered. Vanished.
She realizes everything she’s been told is true.
She just stares.
Every memory rushes back to her.
I’ve always hated my reflection.
It taunted me,
Broke me,
Nearly killed me.
It chained me up
So that way
The thoughts couldn’t escape.
Each day
I would look
I see her she sees me
What possibly can this be?
We’re so different yet so alike
I guess it’s one of those mysteries of life
As sweet as I am, she’s bitter as a fruit
There are two different sides to me
There's the me that you see
And the one I could be
The me that you see is envious of the other
I want to be just like my alter ego brother
Yet my heart flutters, my gut repulses.I crave his company and voice,even though every mutter of his breath will be of her.The way his lips move when he speaks,oh it melts me to the core with crave.
The way you smile at me is intoxicating.
So much so, that every moment I look at you is degrading.
Your spirit is like a two-edged sword.
It can cut through my mind when I'm bored.
I have so many desires
It takes months to create,
and yet, with in seconds it can all be lost.
That one moment that decides your destiny, your future, your everything.
It's what you've been working for all year, all season, your whole career.
Writing a poem is a grand expression Of the man I am and the one I want myself to be Words become lines, lines become poems, interconnected like brush strokes in a painting or the individual notes of a favorite song These words that capture my hea
Here’s to
Here’s to being able to sing
Here’s to the ability to articulate masses that continuously passes
The masses of my mass thinking
I'm sitting in this chair, arms tied behind my back.
A dark room with pure shadows and nothing but whispers.
Blind folded and pinned down to the sounds of
Faith... Grace... Mercy... Salvation... Redemption...
I am told that I have these things.
I am told that these things are given.
Free. Free of charge to me.
I once believed
I once believed
That I could one day change the world
The world is a cruel place
And I wanted to change that
I wanted to take on the world
By myself
I once believed
I wake up to the warm morning sun.
Already has this terrible moment begun?
Outside the window I see many individuals pass,
And out on the pavements that’s where they express their wraths.
I look in the mirror, but I don’t see my face,
I see a lot of things that are pretty
out of place.
I gather my tools and I primp and I fashion,
A mask to hide
The flaws I imagined.
Music notes
Play in my head
Sparking laughs, tears and shame.
The girl I used to be
Lost along the way.
Tunnels and mazes
Hide her pain.
Where is she?
When will she come back?
To remember pain, confusion, and tears is
a difficult thing for anyone—especially for those
who do not understand.
Ten years is too short
and far too long.
For some, the wound has healed clean.
Her left hand rests palm-down against the mirror,this hand is relaxed in comparison to her fluttering mind.Who am I? She wonders.
Feelings, emotions building up
Words bursting to life as I try to express myself.
Physically pouring my thoughts on paper
Critiquing my own judgments and views.
The chance to improve myself,
She lies in bed with me at night,
She pushes me to fight,
She’s the fire that ignites,
And inspires me to write,
She says everything will be alright,
And from the mirror looks into my eyes,
Baby Brother
If only you knew what a great sister I wanted to be for you.
If only you knew what Daddy had planned for you.
If only you knew how happy Mom was to have you.
Could I go back in time and speak to myself I would choose the Samantha of four or five years.
I am the one for the talk
The walk has commenced
And I refuse to be the fool
Playing the jester's part
You tell me lies
I smile
Graciously actlike I agree
And walk away
The sun breaks upon the Earth, its royal light, radiating upon Gaia.
We are closed, broken, yet hopeful. Seeking a source of warmth.
There are many, some we do not realize. The simplest beauties.
I see the girl in the mirror.
So good at being me.
But she's not.
I know if I close my eyes, hers will close too.
If a tear rolls down my cheek, one will fall from hers.
A reflection
I am fat.
I am ugly.
All of these imperfections.
I need to be perfect.
I don't eat.
Fat equals ugly.
The mirror tells me so.
My reflection stares back at me.
Disgusting.
Do you see what I see?
The boy in the mirror
His life is a smile
But it is false, fake, and broken
He turns to the left
His reflection again
This time from a razor
As he cuts again
It starts off slow with a Capital letter,
For your birth is a big mark in someone's calender.
You move from stage to stage,
Just like any other-
A common letter in the alphabet of life...
Too many times I settled for mediocrity
Embracing shiftless sloth over responsibility
Every day I’ll fight for my integrity
I wish I could say I found clarity
I spend more time sleeping than I do working
The rain lays a single touch,
You feel calm.
You hear the roaring of thunder,
You see anger in your eyes,
From the puddle that is made.
From the rain?
No,
From the tears running down your face.
They say there’s an unimaginable ache,
The flip of your stomach that screams for you to pull the trigger
Control is cold and heavy in your hands
Power sits idle between your fingers begging for release
Again, the mirror on the wall
torments me. “You are wrong.
You have no reason to live.
Leave and go away!”
I should have turned
When you said
“I’ll be really disappointed
If you’re not actually a virgin”
I should have ran
And never looked back
I should never have given myself
To the likes of you
How are you so sure that this is my proper cover?
There is no clear label marked on this pink blanket
I think I should dissolve the adhesive,
peel it off,
and start over
From the birth
One was looked at as unusual weird, not normal
But why the eye deceives one to judge
Not of what you know but of what you see
Its hard when your trying to be
Not like he or she
But to be you
The room was light Misty and still As if to foreshadow the sunrise I reached the dining table To find it adorned By a half empty jar with roses Of five, six, or seven The number escapes All I remember is the moment I laid eyes on the most beautifu
