A letter signed

Because I love you,

I swallow your sins,

Echo your sadness as a song the world finds beautiful but you know is nothing more than dissonant repetition bouncing off of a brick wall.

Because I love you,

I let the bile rise in your throat,

The acid corrode what’s within,

Pushing the oxygen out of your chest.

Because I love you,

I watch blankly as you collapse on the ground,

You convulse but my lips are sealed;

Regret tears at the insides of my cheeks

Because I love you

I stay with you as you slide down the wall,

Shoulders shaking, earth quaking,

Your bones shattering, crystallizing, melting all at the same time.

Because I love you,

I hold my tongue,

Promise the silence will remain unperturbed:

Only we know of what happened between these four walls. 

Because I love you,

I feel the fury rise in me;

My vision is red,

And you stand there, unsure of what to do.

Because I love you,

I finally stop staring down at the sink

and look up into the mirror.

Because I love you,

I study your features,

Those worn and etched like the rivers into the earth,

Those tear marks are fresh, but fading.

Because I love you,

I turn on the faucet,

Let the deluge of water fall,

Drown out my sorrows and doubts.

Because I love you,

I recognize that there is more to life than melancholic melodies tailored to empty promises and unwanted advances.

I inhale the air and taste its sweetness mixed with the salty droplets that have fallen on my tongue.

Because I love you,

I decide that it’s up to me to make things better:

I have a say in the matter,

And I’m stepping up, once and for all.

Because I love you,

I want to apologize

For all the times I left you alone.

I’m here now

Because I love you

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