I run my hands down over my head

Outlining the shape of my skull

And wonder

 

This year runs, the next one sprints

Summer birthdays start to lose meaning

So quickly

 

The smell of this candle is like coconut

It tells me of last time it breathed, then I see

It’s so clear

 

I was in training for life without knowing

I couldn’t see through the next night like I do now

Not caring

 

Now I have to be careful with words

What to say, when to say, and how to say it

Because

 

Before they smiled when I was naughty

Trying to keep me a child for too long

Didn’t work

 

I must be perfect to remain unseen

If one thing goes awry, they pity my childhood

Go away

 

Then I saw one detail, then the next, then the next

Now I see the whole picture and sometimes I wish

I were blind

 

Each day is old, like the one before it

And what’s truly important is now gone

Like the child