confused
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My mom always worried the day I would get my heart broken by a boy.
Little did she know I would turn out to be the heartbreaker.
The girl with “no feelings”. So non attached to every boy I met.
She looked at herself in the mirror and what she seen and what she felt were two different things. She was conflicted with herself. What she saw was her reflection, not sure what it was that she was reflecting.
My glasses were foggy today
“Take them off,” they say
I obliged, hoping to see
I couldn’t, everything was blurry
“Put them on,” they say
Before they move off, I no better off, nay
You gave me wings, and broke them.
Then begged me not to fly.
you might not have caged me.
but you taught me not to try.
A cardboard cut out
A want-to-be,
Of a down-to-earth
Personality.
Just a bit more in touch,
With reality.
Can't handle day-to-day.
And there's no such thing as peace.
So numb as ever,
For the lost souls and the misguided in life
Let me shelter you from strife
Let me shepherd you to new light
Take up your own path and leave me
One thousand pieces spread across the table;
Completely overwhelmed with where to start.
At first look, they blend among the others,
But different shades are obsolete to the norm.
I tried to hide but my eyes betray me, each time.
I've sealed my lips but my heart jumps out, each time.
I'm sure my face says it all,
how do I hide that, each time?
Confused, unbalanced, scared --
The control is gone -
What is my fare?
Milestone hit -- little achieved.
What to do - where to go...
Define passion... define relieved...
Confused, unbalanced, scared --
The control is gone -
What is my fare?
Milestone hit -- little achieved.
What to do - where to go...
Define passion... define relieved...
can you see me screaming,
pain, love, and bleeding.
i can't explain my thoughts, my mind
all I know is that i'm too kind
this world is too cruel for me
i feel like i'm the only one who can see
Confused Ghost
Words which open doors.Thoughts which move mountains.Emotions which move worlds.
you promised we'd make it
your love, you promised you wouldn't fake it
the thought of me leaving, you said you could't take it
yet it was you who left
me in the place you promised i'd never be again
Some days I wonder what my life would be like
If I opened the door here
And closed another there
Some days I wonder how the match didn't strike
Yet if I wonder enough
Can I see a new me?
Who am I?
Am I human
Am I wolf
Am I a dreamwalker
Am I a guardian with a messed up past
Or the sister forced to live in her shadow
Do I have brown eyes
Do I have blue eyes
Rusty hinges, a noisy gate.
Echo rattling through pure hate.
Flooded engine , well that’s great.
Cavaly arrives a bit too late.
Where it’s at and where it was .
He won’t accept that word “because.”
She usually runs in neutral even though it’s futile .
Imma never gonna settle just to be her friend.
Crazed and manic , I’ll be patient and push it to the end.
I don’t know why I sit and wait for your attention or why my heart is so pure that I can’t actually admit how upset I get when I don’t talk to you. it sucks.
Person?
Dead soul?
Even have a soul?
No one.
I am no one.
This is me-
no-
No.
This isn’t me.
Who am I?!
I’m hiking up but I think I forgot my compass
I think I’m doing it wrong
I was supposed to have it figured out
by now
I was supposed to be settled
knowing what I want in life
Further from the truth is
Roses are red
Violets are blue,
I was afraid to talk about sex with you.
I didn't know what to say,
I didn't know how
Please me why this is such hell.
Talking with trust
My body became
A vacant spot.
As my emotions
Began to rot.
The love he gave, the
Emotions were real.
The "I love You's"
Became surreal.
How to express yourself to yourself
Living life fake and wishing to be better
A mind were there is no control makes you think of the dark creeping inside
Working 9 to 5 on minimum wage, until old age.
It's not about the money, honey.
You don't fell brave, just like a slave, but you gave until you entered a maze.
Confused and abused, you refuse to blow a fuse.
help me,I want to dieI want that knifeI want the lasting peace
I hate meI hate how I have everything,and I still feel like dyingI hate how I cant love her enough
Who is this woman?
She looks like my mom
She sounds like my mom
She smells like my mom
But she doesn't act like my mom
She is mean and cold and harsh
My mom is nice and kind and loving
Here I sit
Without me
Without you
I feel like my throat is closing in
Im not sure what this feeling is
Doom
Doom comes over me without warning
I feel like I need to scream but can't
Lost in the middle of nothingness
Wandering, just wandering
A pair of shoes and my soul
Where are you?
Lost, not because I’m lost
Find me; I want you to find me
Hold me, and never let me go
Swinging on a flower petal, I
Wrap my legs around it’s thighs and cry
Welted and darkened stares
Lost in the huge world of Anywhere.
Across the ocean I sat alone
On a petal rested and untold,
Dear,
My mother’s ex-boyfriend of two years,
My biological father left when I was six
And ever since then, I've been looking for someone to fix
To be in the middle of this,
Should I be a friend
Or should I be more?
Being your friend is wonderful,
But being your lover is a beautiful blessing.
I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm torn;
they know not a word for her feeling
nor reveal the pseudonym state of mind
Lucid images scream
high with clarity
but all is dark and neon will dance undefined
I cannot wear the red blouse.
Lines that defined my curves taunted my eyes
Blurry tears dripping as I ran faster into dusk
To fit into a teenage concept of “sex appeal”
Decolonize my bodyI used my body to make you stay,Enticed you to do things my body wasn’t ready forThings that made me not appreciate my body,You opened me and made room for yourself,Spilling all of meYou colonized a body, you cal
I am afraid to love something that is so pure yet wrong
To be a bird flying against a current going To Who knows where
My stomach tied in knots, my heart beating fast. I'm wondering how long this feeling is going to last. I'm scared.
To my heart,
My heart,
My heart
Why must you be so fickle!
You love Them now
No, now another
And next another still!
I'd have thought I'd gotten over You
it seems that i am lost
Like i have got no home
i don’t know where i came from
i don’t know where to go
except there’s mountains in the sky
and stars under the ground
If you came running towards me,
I would stop everything.
I do not care what it would be,
because you are my everything.
To say I do not love you,
You love me, I sit in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
I love you, I sit at my desk in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
You love me, I sit on my bed in my room playing games. You tell me you hate me.
my heart has been raised in the dark
the light was a foreign feel
it was too late to stop the start
to my broken heart it was surreal
when he looked into my soul
it was like an electric shock
What do you say to a person you never talk to?
A quick hey?
A silent nod?
What do you say when this person is your mother?
What do you say to the father who wasn't there,
But is now deceased
It's like when u love someone so
much
That they're always on your mind
That all u can do is write hoping the feelings reside
That even tho y'all aren't together
U still love em the same
The pain of the cuts in the bleed and the bleeding in my cuts, the sorrow's rush. Explain to what is happening, this unknown feeling of the pulse of a dying heart. Because I gave you my all. What makes it worse is that you left me to fall.
She lies,
And she does it so easily,
She hides,
And she does it so sneakily,
She rips apart hearts,
Every day, every hour, every minute, every second
It follows me
It surrounds me when I wake up
It follows me throughout the day
It haunts me at night
My mind is distracted by it
This is all an eye opener for me
Well in the MAN’S eyes
As babies, we are taught several things before we grow
WE choose what we want to be
Then MAN tells us what we MUST do in order to be what WE WANT to be
I sit in the darkness.
No thoughts.
No words.
No shouts.
You lower into the ground.
No thoughts.
No words.
No feelings.
We fall into line.
No thoughts.
I lie here and I think about what we could of had,
you were like a puzzle to me that I wish to put together
you always seemed down, and I wanted to bring you up
you seemed to be lost, and I thought I found you
Losing you felt like my heart was ripped out my chest,
I cried for many days all those sleepless nights,
constantly trying my best,
to stay strong and fight.
Wishing you never left,
wanting to bring you back,
People say they'll be there for you.
But when I cry all night,
What can you really do?
People say they won't leave.
But with what I know,
How can I believe?
I swear upon my lips
her hips and highs
crazy loud pack lit like your fates demise
third eyes
enlightened straight LS die
In this world, there are numerous paths to take.
Some involve truth, while others are all about being fake.
The hardest to walk is that which involves Faith.
But you've got nothing to lose, and a whole lot to gain.
You freeze to death in the sun
and you also sweat in the snow
I guess thats what happens when your heart is mixed up on where to go
He held me close into his warm body and let out a soft warm breath into my ear as he expressed how much he needed me and missed me.
His dark arms hugged my back tight as he picked me up and set me down softly on the old tile.
Oh, Sweetheart.
Oh, love.
My poor, poor boy.
You're the first person that has fit with me and made me feel part of something.
Made me burn and love the destruction.
Nothing stands out
Numbness takes over
Robotic movements
Apathy bleeds in
And emotions
Fade away
Muted and dim
Somewhere
In the background
While a being
With no face
Where to go
What to do
I'm so confused
Heart aching
Torn in two
I always knew
Somewhere
Deep inside
This feeling
Of being lost
But knowing
And feeling
What is going on
Chaos ensuing
The scene in a daze
A hazy fog drifts in
What am I
And everything collapses
Who are you
And memories fade
The ground below you falls
Tears falling by nite
Smiles rising by day
Wanting to express yourself, but not really knowing the way
Glass shattered, pain misunderstood
People telling you to change, because change is good
Carved it out of my heart, Blood dripping down my hands, I don't understand myself,I don't understand you,
false
too confused to know the truth
lost
but what was lost, was it you?
who I don't recognize
when did I lose you
was it when you shouted?
or when you laughed?
Confused on what to do next
Life has left me to be fixed
Still I fall and stumble
I will always stay humble
Surrounded by many
But mentally all alone
What to take, what to take?
Perhaps a friend would be good,
But maybe not, I know maybe food?!
It could spoil...then again Chipotle would be nice
However, Im more of an asian food fanatic so ill go with fried rice.
mirror mirror, what do you see?
some hidden power buried deep?
or are the scars all that you see?
like the others who don't see me.
I am not Scars but I'm not free
What is to be gained by breaking me?
It will certainly take time
My resolve is strong and final,
my heart is loyal in the utmost,
I hate more than anything to be thought weak
You know me
Calling, Crashing
lights are flashing
what is happening?
this is maddening
storm and lightning
Fears are frightening
Put in writing
we can't fight it
Can't you stop it?
Eyes red, dried tears on her cheeks;
On the roof she sits with pen and paper
Describing the beauty of the street lights
The sound of the rustling trees
I'm going insane.
Happy as can be in a moment,
Only to come crashing down the next,
Into the darkness of my head.
From a pleasant thought,
To one leaving me distraught,
I sit alone in the dark.
poison tears
Rain, rain, go away,Because of you the pain will stay.Slit my throat, cut out my heart,Leave me here, tear it apart.
I'm in love with a boy who I can't have.
I messed up something that I don't even have.
I'm not "fall-off-a-cliff" in love, but I'm sure that he's enough.
I just don't think I have enough.
I am nothing withoutBut everything withAnd if I knew nothing aboutI only wish it were a myth
The tides have changed in days all new
A breaking from the norm ensues
How can I bother to speak
When all my fears have come to peaks
And Lord only knows that such a breach
will only make my soul more meek
An illusion, that's what I like to call it and that's what it may be fill in the space, if you shall but it's an illusion to me Tricked, was it trickery what was this illusion that dug me so deep blindsided by an empty space, how can this be No, I
"Have you ever felt
Lost
Tossed
You are chained
They didn't pay the cost
You did
With your nightmares
"The wolves inside my head
Gnawing at my brain
Try to take my essence
And flush it down the drain
Remember who I am
If it's those wolves I tame
If I can't defeat them
I might just be too late
A voice like jagged knives,Words that pierce my heart,Confusion the work of your hands,Sadness your sole creation.
i think of you and the butterflies, swarming my stomach, swim up and up to my throat in a tornado.my gums are growing flowers, making meadows of messages i can only wish to speak to you.
I told someone my secrets.I told all of my secrets to a bucket.I'm afraid they won't hold.Who the hell needs a leaky bucket with their wordstaped to the bottom?I'm afraid I've given my guns
Sometimes the hardest thing is not being sick.
Watching the world drag by from a second story window,
too far away for anyone to notice, too separated for anyone to care.
In stagnant waters of the soul,
We hold to memory's from long ago.
But,.. if in time we do not keep,
From our lips we'll pray to keep.
Secrets of the soul we leak,
The joys and subtle tragedies.
I am in so much pain right now
Im am sitting here with your smile on the top of my head and
it feels like the weight of ten months of love
is crushing my shoulders
I really miss you
You stand beside me and try to hold my hand
The warmth of you sets my mind wandering
The way your whole face smiles before your mouth does
cracks a glow-stick in my belly and the outside world fades like
Tryin to change your mind
But please don't take my warnins
And leave me behind
Or worse more broken
But I don't know,I don't know,I don't know how I'm feelin
I don't know,I don't know, I don't know who I am
How can I be sure?
He says he loves me,
but does he truly mean it?
How do I know?
What is love anyway?
Is love the way he holds my hand,
or how he says my name?
You can't take the good without the badYou can't be happy without experiencing sadConstantly fighting a battle with good and evilAlways running back and forth, two sides never equal
My race, the color of my skin shouldn't affect how you view meWhat you should be looking at is that which you cannot see
Blue skies
Blonde hair
Bright eyes
You didn't care
White lies
Daydreams
That's the story of you and me
Fading
In and out
Your lies
They fuel my doubt
Broooken hearts
2 a.m.
caught up in my feelings
got your image running through my head
flipping through the scenery
lost or lonely
I don't know
can you tell me what I'm feeling
Why do I hang on the past
when I know I should look forward?
Why do I care so darn much
when there is nothing to be offered?
Why do people believe in fate
when in truth, no such thing is real?
I spend yet another night, jonsing for a kiss only you can give me, longing to be held only in your arms, wanting to cling onto you and lay down in our blissful silence, saying so much but at the same time, not much at all.
I have quite a few questions for you
I've been wanting an answer for years
Of course I can't really ask you
I don't know where you are
Fallen, have you?
Thats alright.
You'll still live
To see the light.
Lost your place?
Turn around.
I'll be there,
Then you're found.
Blurry vision?
Take a breath.
Yes
Of course
I know the werewolf that lives on Willowbrook Road
With eyes as dark as the night sky
And fur that is covered in snow
It's ears perked up at all times
I've been searching
for a way out
of this blurred vision.
Among checkups and lenses
I watched through pink frames.
Instead I am ostracized
you have flowers and bees
then water feeds trees
even an ostrich would warn a zebra of danger
why doesn’t anyone’s mind work with mine?
a mom and her daughter will speak in unison
Your simple smile
Brightens the darkest crannies
Of the ancient 18 story bookcase
That I call my mind.
Where the cobwebs once insipidly hung
There is now elegant silk
Uncertainty used to scare me
Until you got here
Now I’m diving in
Diving deep
And I don’t care if
The deeper I go
The dark overwhelms me
Because there will always be
A tiny chance
When I close my eyes, I see you with your arms wrapped around my waist: I feel loved.
years have gone by with no confrontation
stuck by ourselves without realization
but that's when I met him the boy lost in time
things were just perfect he was calling me "mine"
You
Stole from me something important
Before I could understand to cherish it
You
Lashed out at me
For my overwheming emotions
You
Made me become
Hateful of myself.....
My hands are clutching my hair
I’m trying not to swear
Nothing is working out
I’m going to shout
Everything’s going wrong
I just wanted to belong
Why can’t they understand?
The August air is warm, thick, simmering,
Stained with blood lost.
Torn tendons pound, hollow and rusty,
Echoing and reflecting off the chestnut siding,
As one lacking in words but always craving attention.
the day we met i had no plans on comming to see you, i had been blowing you off for weeks now cause i thought you were just another player.i was sitting a
Raw as can be, I sit on my chair,feeling,although I don't like to be felt.
My head hurts from thinking too much aboutthe undeniablefuture.
I left her. Afraid scared and alone. My guardian angel needs me. I didn't know my heart was her home. I felt I could fight alone. But I proved I'm weak broken and a wreck. I didn't want her to see me use, I always hated that feeling of regret.
Don't worry I've swept away so many times might as well live in the bristles of a broom,
It's easier to be alone where you know no one can touch you.
It's easier to be alone because you don't have to care for anyone.
It's easier to be alone because you know you can't hurt anyone.
Behind the curtains
Never let them close
Keep your secrets concealed
So that no one should know
All the pain and the tears
Can leave a dessert run soaked
wish the problems fade away
Pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain,
Just look upon the bells and whistles I have placed upfront.
But why inquire to see the girl behind the curtain,
When you yourself are enacting the same stunt.
Who am I?
Behind this curtain
I hide, but no one sees me.
Confused
Scared, lonely
Different and not your most likely
Candidate for I
Don't truly know. Who I am
I am a reflection upon you
My father was not a glass creator
So why am I staring through you
A minor, marrow, mirror
I see she wears a stain like pride repellent
This is still my bed,
but now I don't quite fit.
My feet hang over the edge
for the monsters to sink their teeth into,
with their hands around my ankles.
Minds are crippled from the so called cure.
The doctor says "here take this" now people are passed out on the floor.
Your friends think its fun to take, your parents think skipping doses might be a fatal mistake.
Tea on a Sunday
evening
Two young girls
hide behind their words
their illustrations
small talk eludes
dark realities
too afraid to address
the monster
in the closet
I, a young woman today , realized my flaws.
I H I D E under a persona that is not me.
I H I D E to protect myself from scars caused by not strangers but people I love.
I sit near the window frame
Staring at my own shame
Nothing is the same
Am I really all to blame
Or is this really just some game
My emotions are set aflame
This isn't some ballgame
We are groups of people
made to hate
because of who we love
not what we stand for.
Did no one listen to
your parents?
You treat others how you want to be treated
not
Who am I, Really?
I know I am a Woman but what make me who I am this very moment?
Who am I, really?
I have a past that's darker than I ever imagined.
Who am I, Really?
How can you not tell when someone is crying out to you
As if they don't give you any clues;
When you are known for happiness but filled with sadness
When you're trying to figure out this world through all this madness
Floor 89.
I think I'm dying,
Could it be that I have forgotten how to breathe?
In and out with every breath my lungs repeat
Woke Up with my legs open
and my mind crossed.
"Boys sure do like me"
"boys like me"
"like me"
"me"
Boys like to suck me dry.
my being, my spirit, my soul;
Are we really meant to move ahead
All the things holding us back, sometimes I just lay in bed
The war, the debt, the things we can't change
I'd speak about it but get labeled insane
In the past, I was the one that was intelligent.
I was the quiet one.
I was the teacher’s pet.
I was criticized for being a girl on the drumline.
I was the one that played too soft.
I was the liked one.
I think about how we used to be
Then I get stuck in my misery
I still remember the way you used to look at me
& how all those feelings came free
But now things will never be the same
Do you remember when you helped me with my books in choir
Or when you jokingly asked me to go out with you?
When you pressed your hand against mine or
Oneida says she's out of timefor mining lies from crooked mindsand spending nights beneath strange blanketsstreet-to-street, tab at a time.
You know what I hate?
When men procrastiante with love...
Either you in or you out boo.
Don't string me along and tie me
down like a shoelace supporting the
souls of your feet, of our feet.
I planted you a rose; sat and watched it bloom
the rose didn't feel me watching,
or notice that I was trying to forget you.
Who do roses grow for?
Surely mine for you,
Why can't you tell me how you feel.How the connection we share is realSo kneel downAnd tell me we have a dealTell me how we are
I think I'm gonna be sick
But it's not because I took a hit
It's because of the way I felt
I don't feel that way anymore
I stopped loving and you started
These tears show pain, deep within is our anger too. If I cant stop this river, it'll overflow too. Maybe she'll come back, maybe fall in love too. Or maybe she'll run, from our love and us too. The love of our life, what did we lead to?
I feel so hurt and broken
Casted aside again
Lost and confused
Lead me on and get me excited
Want me and show me you care
Then trample me and drop me
Drop me like a lock of hair
Night fades to darkness,
with only the sound of crickets to hear.
Clouds roll over the moon,
creating a moment of fear.
For even in night
does the moon shed its light
allowing us to see our way
I have given you everything.
Now I feel as if everything that I have given you
Is being thrown away.
You make me confused.
When you held my hand for the first time,
I felt uncomfortable.
You rubbed the knuckle of my thumb
With the soft pad of your own,
As our fingers tangled together.
i have no energy to stay awake
but no strength to drift to sleep
im just kindof sitting here
not living
but just existing
functioning as only a living human body
while my soul shrivles and turns
Like a baby born without a mother
Shit just don’t make sense
So how the hell can you walk around without a split lick of common sense
You think have all together
My dream job is managing a restaurant
I love all the different types of smells that come out of a kitchen
' 'she is nothing but a slut' '
face pale
lips Glossy
' 'she is nothing but a freak' '
pale blue eyes
chocolate lockes
' 'her makeup looks terrible' '
LoveThe largest ocean in the seaAnd the deadliestFor it has no islandNo escapeFor you will become blindFrom all the sharksPulling your leg like no tomorrowOnly gazing at the breath
Descisions, knocking on the back of my skull,
Speak or be silent,
Slip into oblivion or fight back,
Be blissfully ignorant or painfully aware,
Fight for the conscious effort or slip into superfluous fairytail,
How am I here
I do nothing but move with a high viscosity
Rolling gently over myself
Waiting for someone to cole along so I may take solid form again
Everything falls into place for me while everyone else struggles
Confusion on a silver platter served up quite nicely for all to enjoy.
Or rather to think of in a derogatory way within themselves.
The case may vary, as many grow weary.
You've said repeatedly that I'm the girl you want, the girl you need
But, you can't just have me when you want her
Long talks on the phone at night when I should be studying
I wonder what the day will be like,
I wonder who my eyes will see,
The man who could've taught me to ride my bike,
Who could've been there for me.
I think about you daily,
tugging, pulling
a tiny walnut
a massive sea
an orange
two lips, tulips
"tear here"
ripped apart
a fight within.
Anxiety flows over you, toppling and sending radical shivers of coldness throughout your body. It makes a cold sweat and a nervous shake; Causing overthinking and a racing heart.
I am the girl that is permanently stainedThere’s more to sex than giving birth and STDSSometimes if your lucky you’ll still have your prince charming and be a drop dead beauty queen,
The cold night was ironic;You were cold as well(Your hands always were)And your face was tired(Sick of your damned father,His drunken rampages)I took matters into my own handsShaky and undeterred
I've become so numb
Nothing left to feel
Who am I?
Sleepless nights & nightmares at day
What have I become?
Life has morphed into a dizzy dream
Tossing and turning to get through
I'm slipping.
You make me so confused sometimes.
I'm still trying to figure out if you're good for me.
You take my breath away.
But, don't I need to breathe?
I'm confused.
Dear Lord...I need to talk to youbut as oppose to all our previous conversations I would like to do It differently today...
Things were a lot better when we were fighting the world and not each other. Things were a lot better when we worked together and not apart. Things were a lot better when you were my Superman instead of my Kryptonite.
She dances! She twirls!
This amazing wind up girl!
Come one! Come all!
To see the painted smile doll!
Put your order in today!
We’ll send her, no delay!
The price is really not that high!
I ran.
As fast as I could.
To try to get away from him.
From the hurt.
But he always found me.
I screamed.
I ran the other way.
But I found myself in the end back in his house.
Taylor
Talkative, weird, funny, cuddlier
Daughter of Jim and Tammy
Lover of Chinese, Pizza, Animals, and German Shepherds
Who feels happy around animals, and at Warped Tour
Sad at Funerals
You’ve Got Mail
I remember the movie well;
Full of incomparable romance,
Soul-mates of a sort
Long since found
I am taking off my diamonds,
The emerald mask you gave me to wear
To hide the hurt you left behind,
The hole you left behind.
I am letting all my old scars show.
And she says to herself why am I not loved?
Why do my efforts go unnoticed to my "affectionee"? I never get noticed.
It must be so nice
To know exactly who you are
To be able to explain
I'm gay, I'm straight, I'm bisexual
Easier to explain who I am to my mother,
Who understands her gay son but not indifferent daughter
Thinking, hoping, praying,
Wishing, wanting, saying,
Needing your friendship, your love,
your want, your trust.
You're everything to me now,
And I think I've got it all figured out...
I hate when you don't sit by me,
I hate it the same when you stay.
I hate when our eyes, they meet,
I hate it more when you quickly look away.
I hate the feelings that come to me when you say you're my friend,
I'll remember this next time,
Next time I won't fall so hard.
Next time I won't cry...
Next time.
I'll remember this next time,
Next time I won't step up so quick,
Next time I won't ask...
Maybe the timing’s not right.
Or maybe it’s just not meant to be.
Should I put up a fight?
Or should I let it be?
I keep running into you.
We’re so close, yet so far.
If I tell you how I feel,
You'll laugh at my joke.
You'd tell me that I'm stupid,
and leave me here alone.
Deserted in the desert,
Crowded in the streets.
I've fallen into your eyes, lies, & shame.
I’m spinning,
I can’t get off my high of dizziness.
The clouds aren’t so far away. Can I reach for it?
The words drawn out, said, flow with the wind in a soft indulging sound.
Why can’t I just be ok?
Why was I cursed with ability to feel too deeply?
When I could just be oblivious.
Why must I hurt too deeply?
When others are just fine.
How I wish to be shallow,
It’s you
You that I am scared of
You chose me as your target all because of the way i look
Or maybe it’s because I’m better than you
Are you mad at the fact that I don’t have to
Breaking Branches
Falling Leaves
Seasons Change
Caring Need
Rolled down Sleeves
Icy eyes
Hurting Heart
Who Survives?
Can't believe this is my final yearI'm going to get home sick so where's the cureI'm at a stop like lights with a deerI'm on a long road and it's only just begun
You came back changed, I don't know you anymore.
You don't even know yourself anymore,
where did you go?
You left yourself across seas and he's scared,
it's just the wounds of war.
My head is down for a reason
My computer screen is dark
I don't know
Help me
I can't comprehend this
I don't know
You talk and you talk
Do you ever notice my blank stares
A shiny lock
Numbers written around the edge in a circle
I watch as it turns
Back and forth
The numbers blend together
Amd I get confused and lost
No longer sure how to unlock it
i feel alone and deppressed
why is that?
i have my friends
i play my sport
i do what i love
im not anti social (sometimes)
i deal with normal drama
i feed my body
i do not cut
Without a raise of the hand, I stood
Knowing that I could be stifled, I know I did not care.
Without a raise of the hand, I spoke
Meaning no disrespect, but respect was the only matter on my mind.
What if there was an easy way to decide?
Does he love me; does he not: this is always the question.
Do I want him? Am I mad? Those two always bugging me.
It consumes my very being for days upon days.
I don't know why,
Why I feel this way.
I don't know how,
How to let you go.
I don't know what,
What to do.
Confused about everything,
Everything but you.
I feel hollow.
I’ve dealt with a lot.
I’ve been bullied,
I’ve been heart broken,
I’ve been ignored,
I’ve been abandoned,
I’ve been invisible,
I’ve been a target.
They tell me it’s just the
BUT WHAT IS THIS? THIS SOUL DIMINISHING DEMON
ENDLESS SCREAMS OF PLEA AS CRUEL HANDS SHATTERS AN INNOCENT SOUL
CATCHING TEARDROPS IN MY HAND AS I WATCH MY LIFE , MY SOUL DRIFT AWAY INTO THE WIND
There's something to be said of the Man Divided
To function with cogs not sync
With one eye open while other blinks
Only to look towards different directions
Different directions, and he's but one vessel
I used to steal everything
All my jewelry and perfume
But you can’t steal from a coffee shop
So that’s where all my money went
I knew a girl who took fire to her arms
I always thought
You were my diamond
In a pile of coals.
But just a wolf
hiding in sheep skin;
you devoured my heart
there it sits -
Pulsing red and bleeding
out your lies.
She spends her time looking for truthIn the ruins of BabelAmong the pariahs and lepersJust another lost soulTurned away from societyHer only crimeWas to loveThe wrong soulThat sung half truths
I ask, Who am I?
Forever I shall know not,
Between wolds above and those beneath
Eternal life and endless rot.
If all the stars in heaven
Shone into my very soul,
That which was illuminated
Hell is a place where the mind can goNightmares exist before eyes are closed
Fear has a home inside my soul
Memories hold me captive and won’t let go
Love is a place where I feel warm
Day by day i live for what tomorrow can bring, grasping at hope as if it were the only vine within my grasp as my body sinks in quicksand. Knowing not where i am nor where i want to go, i remain in freefall, closer to the ground each day.
It hurts to be me.
In the night when no one can hear,
Not a cry, not a wail, not a single tear
Shed for what is long forgotten,
forbidden, unspoken
A broken heart the only token
I broke the vow, and ran out of the church. I did for us! I did for our love! And nevertheless, I disappointed my father.
How can you love someone you know you aren't suppose to?
Yea, I'm talking about me I just don't know what to do.
The love is so strong..
but it seems SO wrong.
How could something that feels SO right be so wrong..
So There's This Guy....... <3
So there's this guy; he makes me laugh, he makes me smile and he just makes me happy.
If i could cry the ocean drywould the color of my eyes wash out?And would my mouth be permanently downcastIf i stopped smiling for years to come?Would i forget how?If smiling takes less muscles than to frown
Have you ever had to deal with the pain, deal with the tears?Deal with the weight of the sadness that comes with a broken heart? Maybe you have, but have you had to deal with these all by yourself,
Like flowers growing in the winter, you want to know my secret.
A rose growing from concret, I'm unique.
An incomplete puzzle, I'm the piece you need.
A book with no pages, what is my story.
Feeling used and abused
With nobody on your side
Feeling loss and hopeless
With no kind of drive
The lack of strength to increase and improve
Fighting yourself each day, so you won't lose
Is it wrong to feel unwantedIn a world so bigIs it bad to feel haunted By something you never did Is it scary to question Why we're all even here?Or is it human nature...To fear?
my heart beats faster why you enter the room
the energy around me manifests into a whirlpool of heat and confused emotions.
you are the story that is hard to read.
you are a play on words, that makes no sense to me.
Why do You turn a blind eye to Your faultsYou pretend You've done nothing wrongLike You were perfect and had my best interest at heartBut yet its so hard for us to get along
There is a certain blankness in your stare
one that is so deep, and true
It seems you're the only one who cares.
I'd like to say you're diffrent, but you're beyond that
hold me
don't let me go
hold me?
Sitting here on this battlefield, writing away my sorrows
Hearing gunshots and bombs, not looking forward to tomorrow
Looking for a soldier to offer a lifeline I can borrow
These sorrows, these pains, these fears.........
I am the lonely and unhappy girl, who is always jotting down words. I am the girl who is wondering why she has a complicated life, the girl who is lost and wants to be found.
Teeming with multiple personalities,
I feel the Legion swell within me.
I fight against
Layers of self-defense.
Long gone, the search to fleet just a virus.
With eyes, undecided, how can they locate a difference?
Jumbled thoughts
Crowd my mind.
Confusion, coincidences
Leave me blank, scrambled up inside.
You've got my mind working overtime
Stole my heart, you've done the crime
I can't find the words I should say-
Hearing from you brightens my day
Say to voice my feelings for you
“Cold Heat”
A"cold heat" is a comfortable burden.
To a pleasant time, it's almost a virgin.
Never considering how it affects your smiles,
Or never trying to make it worth your while.
Falling in love is bliss until you can’t fall any further. The only other option to giving in is denial, you don’t want to believe there is someone so perfect for you; only there is no going forward or turning back. You love, & are in love.
Words have gone unspoken.
Thanks has not been given.
Respect has all but vanished.
Appreciation is fading.
Communication is gone.
We are now expected to work till our hands bleed.
Can’t sleep, can’t think
Voices plaguing me.
Screaming, barely coherent, whispering, can’tmakeoutthewords.
Won’t let me be.
Can’t run away, going crazy.
Day by day.
Followavoiceitmakesnosense
drunken delirious striving for an invisiable force that leaves me everytime I feel like life has flooded back into these hollow eyes,crusted lips and skulled face.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you,
I loved you once good for me,
I loved you again good for you,
I had faith in you, you loved me to,
Its easy to say, it happened in one day,
Stuck in a triangle so it seems, Lost beyond hope by any means.
Struggling to win a losing fight, I think I just lost the love of my life.
Should have brought a life jacket, To avoid sinking in life's sins
I don’t know what to do
She ain’t textin’ me
Ain’t next to me
There is no rhyme or reason
As to why she is still with me
I’m feeling sort of queasy
Feeling so uneasy
You’re just leaving me in limbo
I looked up to the sky
sweat drops
heavy breathing am I
heart stops
I can't believe
coming our way
what I see
TROUBLE
RUN
or do we stand
my legs are weak
leash in hand
So I've tried to write my feelings more than once
But how can I if I am just so confused inside
I am not sure what to say, think, or do
And this is just making me loose my mind
All I ask are for clear answers
So many bells floating up and down,
That seems to make a lot of sense,
But up so floating many bells down,
Can anyone call that a real sentence?
A beeped up story, no one loved anyone,
I just want to go away and never return.
Stay free from all concern,
But deep inside I'm afraid I will crash and burn.
Possibly take a wrong turn,
And be forced to make that apprehensive return.
Turn your eyes from me
I don’t need your pity
I’m not some helpless puppy
Your generosity is anything but kind
Leading me astray; playing tricks on my mind
