Underneath it all,

All the lies and facades,

I feel so estranged,

so very, very odd.

All these people in the world,

Knowing exactly who they are,

Yet when it comes to me,

My true self is so very far.

I know not who I am,

nor who I want to be,

All these people do,

And it feels like an impossibility.

I guess I left the world,

Or rather, it left me,

And somewhere down the line,

I closed a door on reality.

I smile when I'm sad,

And refuse to feel the pain,

I locked myself away,

With a screwed up brain.

It made me feel different,

Too cold and then too alive.

It made me feel crazy,

Sometimes I wanted to die.

All the talk of who I am,

or rather, who am I?,

Is something I've tried to answer,

And have come up unsatisfied.

I know for a fact,

And the fact knows me,

That I'll lie and I'll lie

And call it bravery.

Maybe I'm strong and happy,

Maybe I'm generous and kind,

But underneath it all,

I don't know who I'll find.