Forgiveness
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A constant comfort,
A solace eternal
Cadence wraps
In-between fingers,
As magical tangible hugs
With divine care -
Forever hold this love steadfast.
NO, it is NOT good to suffer...
When one is wee one young...
For that can scar a person unto death...
And make one not wish to breathe their very next breath.
But it IS good to suffer...
When you tried your best, you seem to get knocked down again,
And you are left there wondering if this is going to be the end.
If this whole time you have been fighting for no real reason,
The grief consumes my flesh,
Here I lament over my words!
They lashed and pillowed into my mind
The bones pain a memory of memories-
There is a chill in my body
It tussles with the icicles and
I don't know why I keep writing to you
Like I'm sending letters to someone in prison
-
As if you were the one who's been trapped
Ever since that day
-
They say that justice brings peace,
Why is it that it is so easy to forgive other people, but we I have such a hard time forgiving me?
That I give myself one chance to get something right, but I give others two chances; sometimes I even give them three.
I have forgiven those girls for what they said and did to me, as I do respect, love and appreciate their existence I wouldn’t change what had happened under those circumstances because they opened a new pathway for me to see.
When it comes to forgiveness, you won't forgive, you won't budge.You truly hate my guts and you sure do know how to hold a grudge.I did you wrong but you did me wrong too.But forgiving me is something you won't do.
I always wondered why humans made their own rules
They made themselves seperate from animals like wolves and tigers, and mules
What's the point of elegance and making oneself's rank higher
MAGIC CARPET RIDE
Come hear my heart
Let the sound take you away
Feel the melted kiss from yesterday....
Like a floating feather
On a magic carpet ride
Together
To forgive someone that's done you wrong doesnt make one happy or jolly.
It just means that your forgiving for you to no longer be part of there folly.
They may think that you'll always be there to take them back.
IN MY DREAM
The clothes hanging on my line
Are not mine
Where have I been
Lost again
In my dream
A floating stream
None of the things belong to me
Not that I can see
We know virtue of travelling light, let's practice that in life too
Lesser the baggage we carry with us better is our journey
Oftentimes we get hurt badly by those we loved and cared for
Foggy haze, cloudy days, rain drizzled from the sky.
Todays a good day, no need to get caught up in the why’s.
I’m grateful for this day, yesterday, and I pray to see tomorrow.
Been lost for a while, I'm missing myself.
Filed a missing person's report on myself.
No posters, picture on milk cartons, or hashtags.
No tee shirts, search parties, or evidence bags.
No one bothered to wake up, speak, call or text to see me on my way.
I don't blame them, I went my own way, I didn't have much to say.
I didn't expect anyone to be different from the person they were to me yesterday.
I'm afraid to fall into my emotions, scared that the pain is too much, won’t STOP.
I've been weak, but remarkable strong. If I hold this emotion in much longer my heart will STOP.
You CAN'T receive His forgiveness until you have forgiven
those who have wronged you.
You WON'T be able to truly accept forgiveness until you
forgive yourself.
Treat others how you want to be treated.
She stared into the sky above her with a fire in her eyes
Days, weeks, months had passed since that day
After hours sat by a window watching the rain floating heavy to the ground
PLEASE .... FORGIVE Me If I Curse To Quench My Thirst ...
To Poetically Let My Speech Run FREE ..............................
I'm sorry for all the time I've made you cry And for making you loose that twinkle in your eye I'm sorry if I was the one too break your heart But fixing that is where I plan too start I'm sorry for not trusting in you That's something that I'm tr
I grew up loved
Without the help of my father
Though I saw him on weekends
We were emotionally farther
I was quiet because I didn’t know
How to get involved
I was told to man up
Wiped away tears from the hurt that was shed
Hide the mistakes that were made on wrists because they wanted to bleed beauty
As they were told they didn't make the cut
do you know the word home?
do you know what it means?
do you know what it
smellstastessounds
like?
do you know what it
feels
I tried to be hopeful
I looked to the bright side but what do you do when the light looks right back at you with disgust?
I have to keep going I shouldn't give up but wait---
Where did everybody go?
Path to the Heart
She's the wave just ere it reaches its crest
That perfect moment as it picks you up,
right before it breaks into a beautiful surf,
Reflecting the world in her eyes.
Sometimes it helps to pause a sec
To bow my head and genuflect
To slow my breath and just reflect
On the sins of mortal men
Sometimes I laugh until I cry
We’re doomed to cry until we die
Don't be alarmed
Your hearts in the right place.
Don't be scared of making a mistake.
I buried the memory deep inside.
Three years too long.
Written in uncommon txt it marinates in my head.
The fiery red, and the hopeful yellow.
You bestow the spicy flavor I can't wash away.
Adulting
Adult is a four letter word.
It’s more dangerous than others
Because it denotes segregation
Between the old and young,
“forget your perfect offering
just ring the bells that still can ring
there is a crack in everything
that’s how the light gets in”
-Leonard Cohen
A long time ago I had found my home
On the stage. But as a sophomore
I just couldn't take another heartbreak.
I stayed in the shadows.
As the show neared
Life is like the Earth
Always changing
Growth, rebirth
Movement, rearranging.
People are like seasons
Some seem to linger, to last
But for whatever reason
Others quickly become past.
I have been the battered woman and the abusive husband,
I have been the slave and the plantation owner,
I have been the starved and the obese,
From swing sets and slides
To broken hearts and teary eyes
From riding bikes and wishing we were older
To realising it’s not as warm as we think
It’s colder.
When my parents first split
Every day flying by numbly,
Until the day I decided
the numbness coincided
with failing to forgive myself
I went under it, over it,
around it, but never through it
because that is where
I DON'T THINK, OF YESTERDAY. LET'S TO THINK, WHAT IS TODAY? SUN COMES, ALWAYS, BRAND-NEW. WHY TO SEE SUN, AS GREY.
i will never wish for you to come back.
or even to visit.
i will only spare my love and all good energy,
but keep it at a distance.
You were like the wave, crashing into me.
You were my balance.
The raft that kept me afloat.
A source of happiness and a piece of peace.
We'd sail on our own a lot of the time.
I rewind & rewind.
Again, it proves fruitless.
Light outside snapped and dipped
around the old stone
and the
clipped clean manicured lawn.
i had to look up to meet your wild hurt gaze
your fury at the top of the staircase
above me
Sometimes things happen that aren’t supposed to.
It snows in april
A weed grows in january,
Winter overstays its welcome
A child is born by accident.
Furiously tiny Tom with his mother out for lunch,
curiously entered the family parlour to see what Scout was doing.
Enduring to his plot he noticed the family dog who seemed to shout his discussion
I forgive you for breaking my heart
You took a healed wound and reopened it
You poured acid onto it & let it sit
The pain is still there, but I forgive you
I forgive you for leaving me vulnerable
A poem writen by my brother and I:
Brother, how you push all my buttons,
But I still love you,
Sister, though you tease me,
I still love you,
Brother, how you aggrivate,
But I still love you,
Say what you want about me,
I don't give a fuck.
I've tried to be rational,
Now I've given up.
Words can only go so far,
Then you need action!
I've been a good girl for too long
Our holy God, our father, most merciful,This day is closing, not a perfect end…Here I approach your throne and do pretendI am not a bad person, not sinful.My hands, Lord Jesus, I present: they are full
to you, who loved me without love:
it has been so long.
three years ago
You were everything.
had not
touched me yet
Father, can you hear me? My heart in pain outcrying,I need redemption, I beg you, please, To calm my fear of dying. Father, I apologize;I lay my burdens down.For all the sin and all the lies, I’m sorry, I cry out. Father, for your grace, I thank
Dear Mom,
Or Pam, I suppose.
Enabling the lowest of my lows.
Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea?
Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
Dear D.B.,
Your fingers are infantile.
When I looked away, they
dropped the stuffie from your warm palms
and grasped the glass fairy
You said No one likes you because you cry so muchAnd I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.When you claimed that My voice My intellect--Every skill and positive trait
Throbbing is the era of peace and hunger boiled into one being
You are the completeness of fatigue and hard work built over my back
Dear Earth,
I need to apologize for I have hurt you.
I have gone through my daily life being selfish,
Dear my old self,
I wish you had the commons sense to do better,
but in the end you made me better.
Your pure heart and your tender ways,
All you need was a little backbone and some base.
Dear you,
The one I haven't forgiven.
The one that broke me.
The one that left me scarred.
The one that keeps me up all night
and my mind aimlessly wondering about
what went wrong..
She felt the pressure
Of a world being taken from her
Everything she knew
Was disappearing
Lips, beard, eyes, hands, hair, chest.
I miss you.
I miss our marajuana breath.
My first toke,
bedsand,
bamboo sheets.
Hold me when I cry
Kisses make me weak
Now I feel cheap.
Sabrina-
Why
Why do you lie?
Why do you hide?
How are you so fucking awful?
I'm over it though.
You're not even worth the ink.
P.S. fuck you
Also life is going to crash down on you-
It had been 90 days. She’d finally learned to leave it alone. It had gone from her mind, she’d resisted the images she let consume her, and the strange sensations she knew would hurt her.
Today I let go,
I move pass this,
No longer feeling like I need you,
The apology isn´t going to change the past,
So I forgive you..
After all the lies,
I forgive you.
Dear (ex)stepdad,
Forgiveness is suppossed to be a powerful weapon.A weapon to use for healing, for moving forward, and for forgetting
But what if I can't forgive? What if I can't forget?
What good is it to first love you
When love was never dealt?
Why should I seek to put you first
If the same has not been felt?
But who am I to make that call,
And desire to receive,
You are not mine but every time a
new
message comes in from you I want to
cry
not because you are being mean or
rude
maybe a little bit because I'm too
sensitive
Mother is strength and love
Father is...disappeared
Mother is strength and love
separation
Grandparents are strength and love
Mother is struggle and guilt
chaos and addiction
Because I love you….
I will allow you into my heart,
I will share my secrets with you,
Because I know they are safe with you.
I will cry in front of you..
And with you..
I hurt you. I was not fair to you. I let you down and I did not think twice. Did I mean it? Was it intentional? Did I want to cause you all that hurt?
With tears in my eyes
I look into yours
Our eternal lives
Have been suddenly cut short
Though they are closed tight
A new door unlatched.
He spit ink into my throat,
told me it would soothe
the ache I felt.
It wasn't until a week later,
when my lungs collapsed,
that I realized he was hurting me.
Almost forgot
To write
About you
Could it be
You’re too far?
Or maybe you’ve gone
As fast as morning dew
Forgot to tell
Of the time of us
You and I
I owe you one.
Him and Her.
You shouldn't fix what's not broken,
unless your in denial,
but I don't want to admit,
Belittling Bestie Who’s Really A Beast
You make me so MAD!
You take my advice for granted.
You don’t see how much I care about you.
what an ocean created by emotionsfears, wantsneedsmixed all togetherunable to see or pick outwhich belongs to which fishswimming alongas if nothing is wrongwhat a foresta jungle
I SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID
MY MIND IS STILL YOUNG AS A KID
I CAN'T GET MY THINKING STRAIGHT
I AM APOLOGIZING NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE
I HAD TO DO THAT BECAUSE I NEVER KNEW YOU WOULD BECOME MY WEAKNESS
Crispy-wet cotton sheets blowing
Like sails
Under an idyllic sky
She’s wrapped in her bedding
barefoot on a concrete pad
Please forgive me for what I have done,
This weight on my chest weighs a ton.
The life I have I fearfully regret,
But what I've done I'll never forget.
My arms are scarred here and there,
What do you do
When you believed in something for so long
And it crashed and burned
But days bring it back to you
In different form?
How can you embrace again
What you loved
Tempus Neminem Manet
Time waits for no one
Despite the lies you've been told
There will be no more time to have fun
No more time to laugh and run
I can hear him
whisper in my ear,
he calls my name,
controls me with fear.
These vile demons
running in my head,
live in my dreams
and beneath my bed.
I feel guilty.
Maturity, persistance, and forgiveness, have played major roles,
of conquering the challenges of life, soo the story unfolds.
A junior in high school trying to find my way,
Ten years agoWe met in school<br>I was a nerd with glasses<br>And you were overweight<br><br>High school found us much the same<br>I was no cooler, and you were no thinner<br>But you had my back, and I helped yo
It's been a long four years, each dwindling to an end a little faster than before.My last may be my last but it's all still just a first,Years and months of friends and then none.
We fought with more than fists
We kissed with more than lips
We loved with more than hearts
And picked each other apart bit by bit
So much so that when we were done
Nothing was left to destroy or love
I'm sorry,
That I am the way I am.
I don't have to apologize for some things,
But for others,
I must deeply apologize.
I'm sorry that I'm okay,
When everythings peaches and cream,
The difference between me and black coffee
Is that black coffee
Didn’t choose to be
Bitter
I was a little brat.
I threw tantrums.
I hit, bit, and scratched.
I didn't care about others.
I only thought about myself.
I loved myself.
I am alone.
I isolate myself.
His Love
It envelops me in happiness
It makes my heart sing a song
It pulls back the curtain of confusion
It teaches me right from wrong
It shows me the purpose of life
I try to pretend I am bullet proof,
got that hard face, but
just a gangster wannabe
a kid with a night light
and a fear of thunder strikes
It's only 5 letters but feels more like a mouthful.
You've bit off more than you can chew now you're choking on it.
You can't swallow your pride so you spit it out.
Soon she will march in through that door,
And my head will be struck by the abrupt reminder,
A painful thunderbolt reminding me of our repulsive love,
The sight of her prompts the formation of indescribable feelings in me.
Walking down Eastlands in Nairobi with my head bowed and my hands pocketed at 3am has always been such a beautiful thing to me.
It has been a long tiresome day .
But for some reason, I don’t want to go home .
Oh, I know why I don’t want to go home yet.
I need to put a few in me first.
At the end of a long day, the beautiful girl swings by her ‘friend’s’ place.
She wore her hair a certain way, so she could cover her face.
No one would question her puffy eyes, it was her disguise.
He saw her once; her hair all down,hiding her face filled with disgrace.
This day in particular
Was really quite gray
The guy next to me sighed
Hey, you okay?
I replied that I was fine
I gesured him to go away
Yet, he wiped the tears from my eyes
I hate you,why don't you just die
is what I wish I could say
but part of me still cares no matter how hard I try
I still like you why.
It roars in your ears
Pounding in your heart
Feeling miserable
A cloud over your head
Just wanting it to leave
Wanting to fix things
But you know you can't
There was nothing
We all get offeneded
This is due to wounds that were never fully mended
There is no such place on Earth where something cannot hurt us
So why do we continue to fuss
My heart longs for those who are hurt
Atonement
The most I can do with you now
is to sit on this ledge,
watching everywhere.
I turn to watch you stare
The Father awakened from a hibernation.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father awakened from a jubilation.
The Father awakened to a situation.
I’ll get you high if you want to take the climb.
Ten thousand steps.
Explode, land mine.
Watch your feet.
Ecstasy.
I'm sorry I took your time for granted
I was shy but very romantic
and I wish you'd understand that I loved you
even more than I did myself, too
My transition into adulthood has been accompanied by a series of mistakes. I’ve failed friends in their time of need; felt the regret a little too late. I’ve sacrificed my own self worth in trade for boys handing out limitless heartaches. I’ve ind
Thank you for the help
Every day I walked in to your room you looked at me with wrath
Any paper I gave you, it was not good enough
Confessions
I wonder if you knew how I needed you…
I won’t tell you so, you know how my pride do.
these days,i find myself apologizing more and moreas if each sorry fixes the worldabsorbs the problemsabsolves people of their crimes. often times,these sorries aren’t for me.
I can’t live without him
The one who brightens my day
And swore to be forever on my team
The one who believes in second chances
What can you tell me?Is this the land of the free?If I enter a store,Will you search me all o’re?
It’s okay, I understand.To your fear,I fear,I have lent a hand.
Sometimes I wait,
I wait for you to come knock, knock, knocking,
on my door again.
I wait for you to come beg me on your hands and knees for forgiveness,
I've been broken and battered
Shaken and shattered
I've been waiting for patience
By God…
I wish life was more gracious
I had lost my way and couldn't see the light
I know you have said it all before
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it
The fight we had last night, you called me ugly
I’m sorry, you’re beautiful
Jesus, He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings,Jesus, He is the Son of God and God's Word is the truth of all things,Jesus, He is God
"The last stand was made here
Where life drained the hills
The last stand was made here
Where many were killed
The last stand was the last
Though he did not stand
He was hung on a cross
I love her more than I think she loves herself.
I look at her and see so many things.
I remember oh so well the mask she wore everyday.
The smile that was plastered on her face.
is it the sweetness of a falsified
mem’ry or truly sickly sweet charms?
have i imagined this air, calcified
in stone covered in velvet, moss harms
I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done to you,
and I don’t know if you’ll ever stop hating me for what I’ve done to you.
But after growing up a little,
I understand now that that stuff is on you;
I close my eyes to see a pain that's rooted in my psyche
a pain that's like a vine choking out a tree.
Why, I ask, won't this pain leave me.
Why, I scream, did he do this to me.
By the rivers of Babylon,
we sat down there,
We wept there,
When we remembered we have abandoned Zion.
Why are you lying to yourself?
You know that lies don't last forever.
The truth needs to be told.
Mother,
I knew it.
I knew you were the one to tell me
I wasn’t good enough.
It was not my teacher from fourth grade or
The mysterious boy I fell in love with when I was sixteen.
It was you.
Mother tells me she loves me
But I think she loves my sister the most.
It’s pretty obvious, from the way
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gabriel. My friends call me Gabe. And my father, well he hardly calls me at all. How's that for subtle? Please don't feel sorry for me.
There's a knock on my window,
where it's still open, still ajar.
I turn and look into your green orbs
And can't help but run and help you in.
I know the second I take your hands in mine
I don't understand
What do your words mean?
I'd like to think I know you better than to believe that it's what it sounds like
You've been irresponsible for some time now
Flowers have been planted in my heart
Roots intertwineing with my veins pulling them apart
Seeds burrowed deep inside my chambers
The planters thinking they are doing me a favor
Some stay and help them grow
What is my mission?
How can I inspire?
I want to make a difference, but I’m just so tired.
Dear heavenly Father,
I bow my head today
to ask for your forgiveness
for the sins I've done today.
I admit that I've shown envy
and I've used your name in vain.
I have ridiculed my peers
They say, "keep your friends close
But your enemies closer."
I ask, then, how do you know?
Who is your friend
And who is your foe?
One moment it's sunshine
And happiness and laughter.
I am a girl who puts on makeup to feel beautiful
I am a girl who put extensions in her hair to feel wanted
I am a girl who wear pretty dresses to feel girly
I am the better side of darkness and the dim side of light.
I didn’t KNOW my blackened heart had a sense of what was right.
She doesnt know she poor, Even when life tells her in many ways Her refrigerator becomes empty. Whenever she is hungry she can't even find a whole meal. Her family barley has enough food to last them until they can get more.
Again.
It came crashing down on my windowsil.
Raking, tapping, billowing.
It clouded my thoughts, yet cleared them too.
It reminded me of you.
Cold plastic is what I see
It’s all you will ever be
Whispers and actions
Divides our “family” into factions
Rumors and back-stabbing
Anger from her blabbing
“Second family” yeah right
There's something you don't understand.
Maybe it's the different lives we live
Maybe it was what I was wearing
I see them down the halls
Hear their hatred along the walls.
Do they not care?
Their words are something I cannot bare.
Why must they pick on me?
All I want is to let be.
You are probably wondering what I look like without a filter
I have Flaws
Too many to count
My forehead is too big
My mouth too wide
My skin too dark
I have black heads
You give me tears, you give me love, but there's more you do that lifts my heart, eve
You hold a grudge in your heart, because a moment in time you were offended. Even when you said it's fine, I always knew you were pretending. I can forgive but never forget, That isn't forgiveness at all.
No rhythm
No rhyme
Just me
And myself
Dark hands
Bright face
WIth a dim glow in the eyes
Worn out
By the challenge
Of living each day with a smile
Inside
Feed me, feed me, morsels to the hungry,
But many times you're missing
The money, the money, dollars for my tummy,
To go to filling something,
Out of your happenstances
Circumstances, giving me money, honey,
NIght comes and goes im in a deep sleep dreaming about what happenes next
i wake up tired and my long day startes i have to use public transportation to get to my destination
Walking down the halls I see it everywhere
In some way shape or form bullying is going on.
This needs to stop.
I am but one person but my voice is heard by thousands.
Why should I feel lesser because you are jealous?
Why should I feel like I should jump off a moving train because I have friends?
Why should my best friend belittle me for making changes in my life?
Everyone has a flaw
That makes them unique
Every mistake
Wish could retake
A teacher we hate
That laughs at our fate
He father of lies
Larks at our lives
When suffer we
Behind the hazel, she's just a lonely little one. Behind the hazel, she wants to the world to be gone. Behind the hazel, she's fighting everyday. Behind the hazel, she's scared in every way. Behind the hazel, she's slightly shattered.
“Free me”, she screams in his face.“No more.No more a moore.I am a river.I flow.I live and give
I hate these ballet shoes
Everyday marks another bruise
And as I dance with the pain, my brain is in flames, going insane
Working double time over what should be considered a war-crime
Behind the curtain
What I keep hidden
From your eyes and mind
Is strictly forbidden
Under the mask
What a clever disguise
HE'S LIVIN OFF A REPUTATION THAT HE ONCE HAD,
HE DOESN'T READ HIS BIBLE ANYMORE IT JUST FADED AWAY LIKE
SOME KINDA FAD.
NOW IT JUST SITS IN HIS ROOM ON A DUSTY SHELF,
Ive hidden from connection for so long, kept my distance from people to supposedly save my soul
But when I look back ive only hurt my self because all of them have moved on I am here still disconnected
Nothing to say
If you’ve ever loved a boy who is both out of your league and culture
Whatever he meant by that
You would know what it’s like to sit at a dining table in a home
The sticky sweet smell of your cologne in my hair
I couldn't push you off, I didn't even dare
No, you didn't rape ne
But what you did was just as bad
Your hands down my pants, around my neck
I wake just to hear
my parents argue back and forth in fear.
I didn't know what was going on.
As I listen, they yell at my sister...
every denial from her made my dad angrier.
You everything I hoped you would not becomeAnd nothing like you promised you would not be
But now, you live within me
Didn't think I'd feel pain like this again.
And I know it's happening
'Cause everyone's congratulating
the pain that I can put to song.
Was it worth it?
I don't know,
Wanted so hard
Be strong
And if I witness a close death.
Be strong, for It will strengthen my belief that it was their time and the works of god are never wrong.
And if I am ever befriended,
Heavy hearted
I can barely breath
Some how it seems like you're choking me...
With lies and deceit
That you do
I hope and pray I do not lose
my life.....
Which you wanted to control
We were two minds into oneYour fight was mineMy tears shed through your eyesWe believed that our strings would never be cutUntil I shredded it to peices and walked away
I'm amazed every day by the things you do....
When all goes wrong ..I lift my head and look to you
For all the things you've gotten me through
i knowest not what else to do?
It’s a love/hate thingThat I wish I could stop.It’s a Cinderella dreamThat I wish I could swap
You irritate me.
You touched your daughter.
Actually, you touch not just yours,
but God’s!
You sick and twisted man.
You try your hardest to get it in
I told my friends we can get it. All we got to do is stay with it. As long as we're writing for the Lord we'll stay connected to him by our spiritual umbilical cord Jesus. Yeah, we'll go hard everyday trying to make somebody else's life better.
How do I explain?
How would YOU explain?
When he doesn't show up, when he's always late.
How do you explain to her, she's not even 8....
Here's How:
When she's jumping up and down cause she can't wait
I write allot of letters to you. All letters ill never send. I try not to cry while writing theses letters. Its stupid to cry over a boy. But i cant help it. One single thought of you..of us tears me me apart.
DISCLAIMER: This is my work and I have posted this on other sites and as a video. I did some minor editing.
he takes all i have
and all he leaves behind
is my regret and sorrow that
has remained for quite some time
i fade to ashes in the wind
when his words singe away my pain
Oh how I wish I could change the past.
the mistakes I've made
Are too numerous to count.
I have failed too many times.
I have disappointed others,
And I have disappointed myself.
The wise old man is believed insane,
the fool laughs first.
What an ironic suffling of the dealer's deck,
what sad misconceptions accepted by billions.
Fact is fiction, but fiction is fact.
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tock
Tock
Tick
Tock Tick
Time envelops a room
Swallows it whole
Each passing second accompanied by a strum of hopelessness
A crack in the blinds
Lights aglow
My self infliction makes me second guess my so-called addiction
Eeleven stiches to match my eyes, they heard my cries
When I was in a denial of my proclaimed suicidal state of mind
And on my arm the devil signed
And then I see him.
Bound to his mistakes,
Regret written across hs smiling lips.
Even in a suit of orange,
His eyes still shine with hope.
The big man speaks.
Argument not heard,
Why do you judge me like you know me?
What did I ever do to you?
I just don’t understand
How the people around me have gone so mad.
I did nothing to deserve your hate.
The wind whispers dark secrets,
That I should not have told;
As I set free my emotions,
And let go of the old.
Now I cannot capture the wind.
Nor the words caught in it,
The whole world longs for forgiveness,
or to be able to forgive one that has done wrong
and to feel that everything is right once again
however, not everything is solved with simple words.
Crying in the bedroom
Ready to end it all
Bet you don’t know
How far you’ve made me fall
Your cruel words,
Those evil taunts,
All the things you said that I haven’t forgot
I've always thought that dreams were unattainable,
Something you wished for, it's kind of unexplainable.
I've always wanted to travel the world,
Preaching the gospel, and telling all the boys and girls,
My Dearest Isabella,
I am dead, but my words will live on.
One day, my book will find you,
In that book, are the pages of my life.
Those pages, represent memories I once had.
The pages contain words,
Mikki and Church
It might’ve been her
Or the life I lived,
But the results were all the same.
When I moved to this city
It wasn’t just another move,
It was the start to a dream
I know that you yearn for my forgivenesswithout you even knowing.And I want you to know that I attempt to do soevery night that you don't careand every morning that you curse my name.
Confusion on a silver platter served up quite nicely for all to enjoy.
Or rather to think of in a derogatory way within themselves.
The case may vary, as many grow weary.
The world is notBlack and whiteIt's gray -Millions of shades of itAnd it's hard to knowWhat's rightAnd wrongAnd what's in-betweenIn that gray area
Given this simple question one would answer, "Logan square of course."
Look a little deeper and you might answer, "well he lives in Logan square, but really he's much closer to Humboldt park."
Together, we can break every chain holding us back.
This black on black crime will one day end.
Love is forever
Love is fleeting
Love is kind
Love is harsh
Love is ease
Love is hard
Love takes time
Love makes time fly
Love is fragile
Love is enduring
I am tired of him looking at me in bed
and seeing you.
You slip under my sheets the way you slip into his mirror
haunting, daunting, daring him to turn into you.
But he is not you.
I thought I had forgotton
Now I'm told to forgive
Will I ever be able to live
To be able to look a dream in the face
To be able to face you and not hate
I imagine your face and look to see
Who you are?
I open the window
and my hairs stand on end.
The clouds hang low
and the tree branches bend.
Triumphantly the wind sings;
WHOOSH! comes its longing tune.
This is one of my favorite things,
When she created her first poem
She wrote it for you
She always thought of you
The paper crisp and white
Just like her soul
Her blood flowed through her words
I used to look down a lot
My head full of melancholic thoughts
And myself so weighed down
I could not stand up.
In fact I was falling,
deeper and deeper into a depression
When I look out the window and see the leaves blowing, I wish I could float away from all the mess I've created. All the pain I have caused, all the stress I need to escape from. My breath is shallow, my heart is aching I cant hold back from the
Dear my love, whose name is unknown
I’ve encrypted my unspoken words onto this heart of stone
Each waking hour, each restless night, every passing moment all a paradigm
You just wanna fall on your knees and ask for forgiveness
Even though you know they aren't gonna give it to us
So you think back to the first attack and you wonder:
'Was I right or was I wrong?'
Good thing our tears
Will fade into the rain
No evidence of the emotions
That show all your pain
The flash of the lightning
And crackle of the thunder
Truly no care left in the world
How come when a white looking Hispanic man kills a black boy it's all over the news,
When,
African American is killing African American.
Sometimes they are boys,
Six and seven!
You're convincing,
but it comforts me to know that you're not always right.
Feelings and opinions aren't factual.
They're important, but they aren't facts.
And you're wrong sometimes.
We're human.
If I tell you how I feel,
You'll laugh at my joke.
You'd tell me that I'm stupid,
and leave me here alone.
Deserted in the desert,
Crowded in the streets.
I've fallen into your eyes, lies, & shame.
THe last thing you have on your mind
At a time such as this
Given tothose who ask for it
Maybe not to those who deserve it
sometimes you find its hard to give
"You cant change who you've become"
This phrase doesn't apply to you literarlly but figurativley its who you've made your self known to others
That DOESN'T mean you cant change yourself for the better...or for the worst
Help me believe that youre the right man for my heart..help believe that you can stand to be the mother of my future childrens...
A man brought me into this world and left me.
The woman of courage brought me up; my mother.
She has given me the courage to succeed.
Dad where were you when I needed you.
Now I could just leave you out of the listthat I madeof princessesOr decide to giveyour princess to youas an ironic thinglike saying,here ‘princess’you self-righteous brat
Gentle rain pattering outside,streaks of water tricklingdown the pane of glass.Listen.The shrill squeakas her hand slowly sliddown the window.Wishingshe could just claw her way
What’s a beginning? The first, a start?
For I believe in no beginning to this art.
I have written these same words, felt these same feelings.
I have painted these same problems and colored in my same solutions.
i made a mistake
i made a mistake
i made a mistake
i made a mistake
no...it was my fault
the words you howl in pure disgust
the words i take in and attempt to digest
Time ran outI stood stillFelt full of doubtLooked out of the windowsill
And as I thoughtA little moreI heard a knockingAt my door
Her tears were almost as rare as her smile
Her world of color was stricken with black
Her eyes crept with tears as they did
A tactful guile
As her face she hid
But each time in the corner
I am from a picture perfect world
Where everyone has to be a certain size
Where children are growing up to realize
That their size is not acceptable
That they must change how they look
To fit in.
I can't believe I was so blind,
To see the mistakes I made,
To see all the chances I could have taken,
To see all the things that went wrong,
To see all the things I could have prevented.
this place you call home, well it’s burning you down
find a place for change, take a chance, invent hope
you’re more than what you do and where you are
you’re beautiful.
Morning comes
and sunlight shatters her placid sleep.
Six years old, and she dreads the dawn
to awake in the family
where she’s told she doesn’t belong.
The cold morning air bites
You say you are sorry, / And leave. / Which adds to my burdens, / I heave. / You say "I love you," / Then stab, / The sensitive heart, / I do have. / You say that you want me. / Ignored, / As I pour myself out, / On the floor.
Walking down a dark alley street
I see the reapers shadow following me
Never lived more than sixteen years
Those blood spattered walls soaked up more than my tears
Standing at heavens golden gates
You haven't talked to me in weeks
And I'm damn sure it's my fault or another
As I watch the sky stratify
Into blues from cerulean to robin's egg
And the people I pass are just shades in a jaded life.
when i was little, i was lonelyi looked for people like me -i found you, and you were greatfor a while at least.
Loud were the sirens crying outand loud was the body that wanted to be let outWanted to be free and do whatever it pleasedNot knowing the regrets that it would reap.Loud were the warning bells that seemed to shout.
It is like the biting into the core
of a cold,chilled lemon, the realization
leaving its memory to taste like a deep, salty, sore.
It holds and grabs, a needle piercing deeply against
your skin, my skin
The still water ripples out
Air rushes against my frigid face
So still, the water, so calm. So unlike
the flight symptoms of running;
Pulsating through my veins.
The story of my life.
I saw Saint Mark in her room, my mother told me,
beside Bible verses, embroidered pillows,
a picture of Jesus holding her in his arms, all 89 pounds.
Miriam was 15, my mother began, before she melt into a coma,
So I woke up one day and wondered where I was headed
because I can't look back my past it has been embeded
No time for regrets so I gotta keep moving
but ironically I can't move because my past wasen't soothing
Stop trying so hard
And just relax
Take each day slowly
And give love back
Life is short
And terribly long
Painfully bitter
Yet a beautiful song
So long have I tarried in it,
That thick stuff they say is laughter.
But I hear the bitterness
Behind it. How cruel it can be-
Loud and harsh.
And all this time I didn’t-
Wouldn’t-
My father
is a great father
right up to his betrayal of me
and his interpretation of my self image.
My father
was once my favorite man
up until I decided to make my own choices.
My father
Left on the streets,All alone,Peer through the windows,But no one's home.Cry on the door steps, See all the stares,Praying for help,But no one cares.Beg for forgiveness,
When you feel like giving up,
And you just want to die.
Remember all the people you love,
And who would want you to try.
When everything is going wrong,
And life seems like a sad song.
I forgot
Those times I sat on my bed and cried, And sobbed my losses after all I tried
And you sat by my side and held me tight
You spoke comforting words to make things right.
So you ask me why I write...
You want to know why I do what I do?
So here, how about I give you a clue,
I am an emotional volcanoe just waiting to erupt,
but not in the way you may think, I don't live to dectruct
In the absence,a state of mind is created to thwart,a powerful enemy one faces toward his creators.Although blood is entangled within a knot of memories.
Blessings can come in all shapes and sizes,
But I think God also likes to send them in disguises,
That what looks like a hurricane
And is overflowing with pain
We hide the smoke that lights the vicious days
As tree tops block heat by burning green leaves.
I raise my head and bring my hands to pray
For the forgiveness from what He perceives.
Children running, playing,
No worries or commitments.
Carrying on as if they have been friends forever
You would never know they just met.
It’s really sad when someone feels that death is the only to finally find peace.
It felt like I had hit a brick wall when I found out that you had taken your life.
My mouth was a cathedral in which you loved to confess your sins.
My thighs were the alter at which you knelt within,but it was never you who was supposed to be on their knees, as you told me.
Being gay?
They say it's a crime.
They say it's a birth defect.
They say it will change over time.
I want to know who "they" are.
I want to know what gives them this right.
Forgive me for my heart can only take so much
I never expected this would be so tough
You must of took it pretty rough
Forgive me for my love for you is never ending
I should of never stopped defending
What’s hard enough to chip a diamond?
I don’t know, but I’m pretty cracked.
Yet I have learned to refract
trials and tribulations
into ROY-G-BIV’s of hope and celebration.
As long as you got breath in those bones, as long as blood runs warm
There’s still a chance, a chance to make things right.
You don’t have to pull yourself together
He holds the glue to put your pieces back
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Sweetheart"
"I love you"
I write for the one who gave me brown hair and eyes,
For the one who sang me my favorite lullabies.
The swing set he built, my rocking horse by hand,
Hell is his empty syringe
And the searing pain of his emptiness.
Hell is the heat of the absence
That grows hotter in his presence.
Hell is the tears that evaporate
I know I wasn't supose to tell anybody about us, but i'd give anything to have your lips against mines once more. I hope you forgive me. Can we start over...? Or will there be no other option? I know I will sit and think on this for many of days.
Skeletons in my closet
Sticks and stones may break my bones but skeletons will always constrain me to be insecure, pierce into what's pure.
Mind effed me into a nose bleeding positioned Pursue the lure of a
stench,
When I look at my reflection
I see a strangers face in shame
this image doesn't help my pain.
My shattered heart can beat no more.
I must keep in these bitter tears.
Where is the light in this darkness?
Hating on someone,
that's easy.
Forgiving on that someone
is hard to do.
How can forgiving be so hard?
Well how can I forgive that person?
That one I always hate
from the face to the name.
"A Father's Farewell"
The final day unknown,
When hate transforms to tears,
Farewell.
The indestructible bond like duct tape rips,
As time intoxicates a heart so vile.
My father reeks of leather and old books
I love to smell that scent while we tattle
Society may call us paranoid shnooks
But we know they are only mere cattle
No good times do I know of my young years
But I love him.
Of course I do. I love him more than the world.
But that isn't real love. No. My love is just a phase.
A test of my parents will.
Because why would i love him? I'm only a boy.
The emotions inside are astounding
My heart is racing, beating, pounding...
The words to say, things to do
Are right in front of you
What almost was, what could have been
I hope to dance in a wide open field
And spin around waiting for the rain to fall;
No wish for an umbrella as a shield;
Waiting for my lover's enchanted call.
I hope to perform In a coffee shop,
He’s with you when you’re living your own Paradise,
Your life driven by your own will and having God’s plan on Paralyze,
Don’t seem to realize your Paradise is really a Pair of Lies,
I can never love you
Because you hurt me
One too many times
But I will always love you
Because at one time
You were mine
And I was yours,
Or so I thought
You never told me
The truth of forgiveness is a loving embrace:
once seeming lost, warm radiant beheld
of passive serenity gathered its force.
I've got this friend
His name is Jesus
He gave me a brand new life
All because He loves me
Ive got this friend
His name is Jesus
He died on a cross because
All because He loves me
Stranger Danger, danger stranger, momma always told me beware of strangers
I bet she never thought her husband would strangle her!
The last memory I had of you, was when I was two
So much pain
So much violence
So much suffering
So much senselessness.
People killing
People hating
People running
People dieing.
I promised I would only talk of true love if it really existed.
I promised myself, when I was young, that I would only love someone if I knew they would never break my heart.
I waited so long for that person to come.
This generation is desperate for you Lord,
Lost in the ways of the world
Misguided and misjudged,
Without you, we become what we are called.
We're in need of your love,
We bow down at your feet
Home is where the heart is.
Home is Heaven too.
You have my heart,
So does that mean Heaven is you?
Could you look me in the eyes?
My mistake is easy to repair!
Don't treat me so coldly, do not despise
Simply because the crack was large.
Sins, mistakes, sorrow, and grief. Forgiveness, mercy, hope, and love. I am human and have sinned; I have made mistakes which created sorrow and grief.
I was once untouchable, until he touched me and took everything.
All he had to do was lift a finger to cast my soul dead.
Tears would not flow but blood would shed because
We were no longer equal.
the cool water from the ocean
is refreshing.
as it touches my skin,
i feel my sins being lifted.
i pray to the heavens to release me
from this torture,
to be free and clean again.
To say what I haven't…
To whisper the words that I could not say
I forgot the way we use to once be…
The connections that use to be had…
The bonds we use to share
I lost them.
I strayed from the path…
A boy sits alone in his closet.
Enmity splattered walls.
His heart, so open to love,
is beginning to wither and fall.
But what, I should think,
makes him live in these walls,
is a secret to me,
I wish to find myself among the angels,
I wish to die a martyr,
I wish for God to forgive my sins,
And for the soft mold of forgiveness to cool my scarred hands,
I wish that I could forgive myself,
I am not just a number for you to process
I have feelings.
Nothing you say can change how I feel.
Just because you think you can shut me up with
words
hate
violence
secrets
Understand that none of us will be able to make things better.
We can never feel another’s pain.
Their sorrows are exclusive and will harvest an abyss.
Nobody can get them out.
My name is subject to change;
I stray among the others, freezing in their shadows.
This beating; the beating of my heart.
Pulsating with courage.
These trembling hands, they'll be the hands of a hero.
Do you ever wonder, Dear,
When you see the children here,
Why you never joined their play?
Why you never saw the day?
Why the golden sun above
Never touched your cheek, my Love?
EVERYDAY I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND HATE WHAT I SEE
WHO I REALLY AM
IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN ME.
I’VE MADE MISTAKES
WHEN I DIDN’T LISTEN TO MY HEART
NOW EVERYTHING IMPORTANT
HAS QUICKLY FALLEN APART.
