heartache
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Out of everyone else, with you it hurts the most,
Because this was the first time in my life where it felt like we were getting close.
As much as I don't want to say those words to you,
I always wanted to believe it to be true,
That in the end, maybe it would end up being me and you.
But maybe I not to accept the reality that it is not,
And just like that, I found myself in the same situation once again,
Torn between cutting you out of my life, or keeping you around as just a friend.
You can't tell me that you didn't think of me the same way,
Everyone who knew me before has to get to know me again,
Because the image that you have of me in your head has come to an end.
The girl who once cared about people too much isn’t here anymore,
A frozen solid block of ice...
Winter wind sure feels nice.
The sun, hidden, behind the clouds...
Within the ice she cries aloud.
Ice pick lying quite nearby...
Cannot reach it; trapped inside.
For so long, I kept trying to defend you,
And I would always try to justify the things that you would do.
Even though I knew it was true, I would always try to deny it,
It still hurts sometimes, but I have come to peace with where me and you are,
And I guess I like the fact that me and you are sleeping under the same stars.
And after everything that happened, I realized I need to say thank you,
Because you helped me so much, despite everything you put me through.
It’s officially been one month since the last time that we spoke,
And there are days where I am still trying to pick up the pieces that you broke.
And most days I am doing pretty well,
It hurts me to say, but I know that this is the end,
Because after everything that happened, we can never be friends again.
I have to admit to myself, that I will always love you,
So here we are, trying to pick up the pieces of the mess that you made,
And the damage that you caused is going to need a lot more than a band-aid.
I thought I wasn't going to show it to you, but I did,
And now you know how I have felt about you since you were a kid.
After all of this time, maybe now you can finally see,
As hard as it would be to hear it, sometimes I wish you would just have the guts to say how you feel,
Because you and I both know that it is what is real.
I know you want to tell me to leave you alone,
I didn't want to admit it, but I cried myself to sleep every night this week because of you,
And I know that it is going to continue, no matter what I try and do.
Love is the epitome of unconscious doubt.
Seeing me bare in my inadequacies unfolds me in the trepidation.
Whilst still containing my devoted love for you my anxieties torment my body.
The only love I know is fear.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
All for one, one for all.
Can't have one without the other.
Pain, hurt, desire, love.
All for one, one for all.
Can’t have one without the other.
My heart sank when you told me of your decision.
You were supposed to be
The one who would love me
and take care of my heart.
Love denied once again.
I still feel the pain, hurt, and suffering
From past and present relationships.
I still remember that day…
The day when Heaven cried.
When Heaven Cried.
Oh, When Heaven Cried.
That was the saddest day in September.
Their love was special.
The deepest void in the sky tonight. Almost as big a void as the one in my soul. Theres no stars tonight. Just a black , cold lonely sky that seems to go forever. I’m missing you and it becomes evident to me that this feeling?
Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I so badly wanted to prove them wrong.
I feel like an idiot, for hoping that things would go the way that I wanted them to, and for holding on for so long.
The canoe has a hole in it
Still we took it out so far
And travelled all the coves
No one is in the houses
Only buzzards flying above us
Time is owned by the trees
Take a look behind me now
see the patterns keep repeating
Round and round like a pinwheel
While there’s nothing wrong; it’s all benign
Seems the harsh hate of words I don’t mind
such a whirlwind
a wild soul stuck in a person at war
with himself
and you were a token
because i, myself, am shattered
i love broken
something to fix
and distract
we've been laying in my bed
for hours now, neither of us sleeping
nor talking, just holding each other.
from the moment he walked in the front door
i knew that he had something on his mind,
My life before was perfect,
I was to young to wonder why.
I was to young to charish life,
Before I said goodbye.
Goodbye to all the people
I knew and loved and hated.
Release me from my cage.
Lonely, I sit here filled with rage.
Do you enjoy seeing your prey aroused at the sight of you?
Of course, you do!
I know certain people only have a certain time with each other,But even some are meant to last forever.I do not know when exactly our story will terminate,But I want you to know how much you made me great.
I want you so much it physically hurts.
I would do anything for you.
I would go anywhere with you.
Don't you see?
No other woman could please you
Or love you like I can.
But it wont matter.
I know you are not here for me
I kneeled and prayed to the trees
the trees only my lips had kissed
whalst you kissed her silhotte
she was missed, but not quite gone
You had known me long
It is true that nothing fixed was not first broken
When the rays of sun filter through the clouds and breathe spring into early May
It is only a deep exhale after winter’s tense, repressed torment
I am so madly in love with new york city
The lights on the buildings
Brighter than the stars
And you,
You were brighter than all the stars that night
Every day was the same from then on. It happened, I couldn’t change it. I tried a different outcome, each walkthrough in my life. Each day I tried to be something more, feel something...different.
Attachment is too risky
Attachment is a universal sign of something that can be broken
Whether it be from love, hardship, differences
If I could change times arrows course,
I’d hastily retreat it many a face
To sail beyond your hearts remorse
In search of the pain each morn embraced.
You buy me flowers
You kiss me on my cheek
You take a shot of cough medicine
And leave it on the sink
And I find you, on the dented corners of my favorite books.
I see you at the bottom of my favorite candy bag.
I even find you in all my favorite songs I use to listen too.
Why do you shun the gentleness in me?
Is such affection scarred within you; is it a reminder of pain?
I am not your pain. Will you not let me love you?
Minding my own business
Meeting you on the outs
I truly had no idea
what you really were about
...….…............
Where -we’d- end up
after our eyes touched,
I didn’t have a clue
November 19, 2017, at 1:29 in the morning, my heart was broken and restored, all in the same moment in time.
That night is imprinted in my memory, and on my hip, in stark black ink.
Love ache
The first time you experience love
and the first time it ends
How your heartbeat races to the sight of this person?
Now you no longer feel that
What you feel is sadness
It took nothing to realize
she knew everything she
never let herself realize.
She always loved those
who didn’t deserve her.
The lesson here was:
You never win
A train pulled through my heart and let you off.You pushed your loco... motives...into my life,
You hold my hands
Wrap the gauze around my bruised knuckles,
Whisper me pieces of words
For my mind to create
Into stained-glass portraits.
By daypowered and unafraid,By nighttired and afraid.
Tired of all the lonesomenessAfraid of accepting love...Who am I to rejectwhat has been set in motion from those above?
Memories are funny little things, Neatly filed away and tucked into little manilla folders in the back of your mind, Watching,Waiting, For just the wrong time.They slip;
The same day that you said you would stay forever,
Is the the same day that you had left me,
Forever.
It was my fault, I know.
When I feigned myself as someone I wasnt,
There is no denying it, she was first
I imagine her next to you, your arm wrapped around her
As it had once been wrapped around me
Sometimes I wish I were a less kind soul
I hurt from a pain I can’t find
and I bleed from the blow
I don’t remember.
I miss the memories
I never made
and I long for the love
why do you expect me to be okay?
to be okay with your actions,
to be okay with what you say
i'm not
why do you expect me to forget?
the words you told me,
the words you said
i can't
There will be times when things between us might not feel so sweet. Those moments we look back on, wishing we could press delete. I might find myself tripping, when I only meant to sweep you off of your feet.
Wake up, roll out of bed
Hit the floor, legs like lead
Emotions are weighing me down
Dawn my mask to cover my frown
My mask of Immaturity
My mask gives me security
Goodbye Mr.Funnyman.
You forgot to take your bow.
You left the stage in mid applause,
who do we laugh at now?
Was that the problem?
Our foolish eyes just didn't see
you pulled me out of the fire my mind was in
you became the water that soothed my burns
my youth relished in the enjoyment of no more burning
you had the tender touch that became the bandaids to my cuts
Bang, Bang.
You Shot Me Down.
You broke my heart and let me drown.
You lost sight of what we had.
You didnt care if it hurt so bad.
We Fell In Love In A Hopeless Place.
I have lost weight since I was in fifth grade
and I know this because I have tracked my weight,
watching it go up and down,
like a child on a Carousel.
I am only a freshman in High School,
Still alone in your room
Staring at a blank tv screen
For it to reflect your image
Waiting as the time passes by
Remembering the words
Picture perfect
Picture perfect
Piture perfect
Sticky sweet jolly rancher kisses
I realize that I´m going to miss this
We say our goodbyes and I pull away
But something really urged me to stay
Every rib in my chest breathes in for a smile
When I have lied to myself and others for so long,
It is hard to see who is wrong,
We could lie to ourselves like we always do,
But since I have had so much more pain to go through,
I remember your singing, my favorite sound
When suddenly my heart started to pound
Something different, something strange
Was the reason for my mind's craze
It was you.
You tell me that I am the love of your life,
say that you've never loved anyone the way you love me,
laugh and call me adorable when I'm acting strange,
smile when you look at me from the driver's side,
It all seems like a nightmare
My eyes can’t even meet your stare
They burn and sting with the power of a thousand bees
Lord knows I’ve cried more than the seas
You said you loved me, but that was a lie
I sit up in bed and all night I cry
My life has no meaning, just pain in my head
I want it to end, I wish I were dead
Can you please make me remember,How we started this fight?‘Cause I can't remember,our last good night. What are we doing?I said I loved you, You said you might. This is a jumbled mess,Do you realize?I look at your face,You look away from my eyes.
Dear Love,
You were someone I always wanted to meet.
In the back of my head you stood,
me waiting for you, and you; me.
Before I knew it, you were my friend.
My best friend, perhaps my lover.
Why is love so cold?
We sit back and wait til we grow old.
In search to find the person of our dreams,
We are left to be the one in need.
Crying all night with no one to talk to,
To my First,
I remember the day that I witnessed your impressionable smile and sparkling eyes.
I remember the tiny flutter of my heart, that feeling that you were going to mean something to me.
A Change of Me
As I pace back and forth in an empty room
where once was never empty and always full.
My chest is tight
My throat is closing
My stomach is in a knot
I feel my heart breaking
I close my eyes
I feel you, next to me
You are noiseless
You are cold
Te quiero mucho.
Mucho.
¿Por qué no lo vez?
Eres mi mundo.
Tienes mi corazón.
Te quiero en mis brazos.
Te amo.
All I want for you is to laugh with me.
I want to make you laugh.
I want to hear you laugh next to me.
The sound that sounds oh so good to me.
The sound that my ears never get tired of.
The way you curl your hair with your fingers and it falls perfectly into place. The way your eyes look so shiny and like topaz gems. The way your glasses frame your face perfectly when you put them on after wearing contacts.
12/7/2017
Dear Dad,
I don't know if I believe in anything anymore.
Six years ago you died.
Six years ago I hypervenilated on the porch.
With my cell phone in my hand and my best friend on the phone.
To My Mother
Momma he beats me.
What do you want for dinner?
Leftovers sound fine.
To My Lover Abroad
Tell me you love me.
Remember the ferry ride?
298 days is a long timewhen every hour is countedby the second.Dear James,I knowyou've counted them too.Did you knowthat every drop of bloodeverycrimsonteardrop
Oh it's you.
Hello again! I know, it's been so long, it's so nice to see you!
What do you think? I've barely been holding myself together.
Are you kidding, I've never been better! How's the wife?
If you appeared daily in the majority of my life
why does it feel as if I’ve lived ten without you?
Drowning in the tears of each of the last three years
How absurd it seems to be writing you a letter
If I could just breathe again
love again
feel you again
break the chains that bind my heart
and tore us apart
We said that we could never be
It was never our time
Joy became my hurt
You believed in him because
You first met him when you were quixotic and optimistic.
You confused rush for love.
Your pictures recreated
Your greedy words they rewrote
Your actions repeated and they restarted
Refresh
Review
Replay
We were like any normal couple.
Had the same interests,
Liked the same things,
Laughed at the same dumb jokes.
Only,
I didn’t feel the same way as him.
The eye of the storm
Is which we fall in love
Ash and dust falling
Like snow from above
Except the ash is of diamond
And the dust powdered pearl
But all of that is ceased
Because I love you; She said to me.
Because I loved her; She lied to me.
Because She hates me; She hurt me.
Because I love her; I cried.
Because I love you; I lied.
Because I loved her; I hide.
Wish to cut deep into my skin,
Past the bones and intestines,
To my inner layer of blood and marrow
To take away my pain tomorrow
Wish to drown inside the water
Were even sound does not bother
I run from the room, the wing whipping my face and stinging my already red eyes. You never think it will end up wrong, you only feel it when you get there. I sit under the tree, and my stomach is sore from the sprint.
Her tears overflow
She doesn't try to contain it at all
Why can't he call?
All of the moments, those
have fallen in a camera film, blows
in the wind then fall.
She hates that wall,
It starts with an inkling
A whisper of a secret that turns into a shout in your brain
As the voice learns how vocal chords work better together
Even when they are all raw from restraining
A healthy relationship.
What is "healthy"?
Saying I love you when you get off the phone?
A good night and good morning text?
A like on instagram?
A tagged picture?
The memories of you and I explode like fireworks behind my retinas.
I never liked fireworks.
funny how consistent you seem to be
in my mind as the sun starts to leave
behind a trail of the classic gold and pink
that you made symbolic of my loving
fleeting youth
so tell me the truth
Love is such a beautiful thing
Something to be marveled at
Such a rare bloom
She was a hopeless romantic who wanted love so badly she couldnt tell it wasnt love
Im not here to lie, so lets have some fun
If I had a fairytale it would involve only one
No, not jesus, moses, or even his son
It'd be a man, yes
But with brown eyes not blue
I look at you
and I cannot believe
that you don't know
can't feel
my depth of love,
cannot reach your
hand inside my heart
and pull yourself out.
I wonder feverishly
I am the human embodiment of fear and trepidation.
My body is a reeking cesspool of panic so I lie awake in bed like an earthworm lay on cement and
rot
Why does it hurt so much?
The words that fled your mouth
into my ears
still linger in my brain.
And the promises you made,
the hope you fed me
and the lies I gobbled up,
gullible child I am,
In an instant,
I caught a moment,
That fell off from time,
But the instant was gone,
And with it, the moment,
Leaving me staring,
Into emptiness.
#free_verse
I was pathetic.I was lost.I wasn’t me anymore…. because of you.
I would indulge in..I would desperately seek.I would want…. alcohol because of you.
No breath
Silently weep
A shattered heart yet with no sound
I'm torn
Look down
You don't belong
The world is too cruel for angel
It's time
Goodbye
Things were fine in the beginning. We sangWe danced, we laughed we played. You told me you only had eyes for me.I thought it to be true. Then you told me That we were not meant to be. And I cried. All alone with my thoughts.
In my heart I’ll remember the spring trees and the taste of fruit early in the morning before the sun rises, high in the sky, and paints the world with color.
drunk or sober it was always you
there is a lonely hum in my brain where your name used to be
i will drown myself to silence in
it if i do not get some peace and quiet soon
they told me to rise
with dawn,
but i fade
with every daybreak.
maybe some are meant to live
in darkness because
shooting stars can only
you have broken pieces
of me
i never knew i had,
coaxed me out of hiding,
out of myself,
just long enough to realize
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING
WHY WOULD U TELL ME U LOVE ME (&LEAVE)
MY HEART IS FILLED WITH EMPTINESS
SOMEONE WRAP THEIR ARMS AROUND ME (&SQUEEZE)
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
Walking thourgh life unfazed
Watching as everyday stays the same
When will the walls deflate
Will oblivion always be drained
Love, to leave the soul in destitution
A body filled with nothingness
The door closes
Inhale your sorrow into your lungs
Breathe in insanity clouded smoke
Bury the hatchet underneath the willows
You promised me
Wonderful, glorious things.
You promised me
A white house,
With not-blue shutters,
A pond out front,
And horses in the back
You promised me
I wrote a poem it was so sad,
and into this poem I put everything I had.
When I was through and still feeling blue,
I stained the paper with my tears as I thought of you.
4.07.16
He left me in March
buried beneath the dirt.
The showers poured in April
and cleaned away the hurt.
I will blossom in May,
for this is my rebirth.
I don’t know what you’re doing to me, but I like it.
I never knew what a trip like this was like.
Addiction is calling me, or is it distraction?
Such a powerful connection I never thought possible
I thought about you then
I wanted to fight for you
I didn't want it to end
I thought about you then
I wondered how you were doing,
I meant to call,
to tell you that I missed you
Sometimes it's not your heart that breaks,
it's your soul that cracks
and each little bit of you that falls off
is another piece of you
that you're never getting back.
L - is for they way i thought you Loved me
O - is for the way i Obviously fell in love with you in every single way.
V - is for the Valentines day gifts i bought you but never returned.
A letter to you. You broke my heart, not once, or twice but so many times I'd lost count. The words that splurge out of your mouth angelically pierce my heart and paralyze me. I'd come to think it was finally our time and you'd chosen me.
I’ve never been so sure that I’m tired
It seems that something happens every week
Just like the first time you ignore me
But as time passes, it hurts even more
I forget when it became unbearable
She loves subliminal.
If only your conscious could grasp her heart.
I hold her, we dance beyond the horizon.
Subliminally I tell her to have little faith in me.
It’s not much but she is fair.
It is so easy for someone to play with my heart
I try to protect it and keep it away from hurt
But whenever it starts to peek out, for there is a ray of hope,
A piece that cannot be returned is ripped away
They say when you are single it hurts
But let me ask you this little quistion
Which hurts more?
Being single or have gotten broke up and not finding anyone else!
Let me tell you this
i always wake up feeling the best at other people’s houses and other people’s beds. is it the person or is it the meds?
feed me sertraline and caffeine, inject me with all those pills and potions. give me a reason to keep living by my struggling...
The dim light casts shadows across the room,
softening the sad features her face held,
I’d forgotten what happiness was like,he’d hurt me and left me in the dark.Pain was etched in my soul,and anger swallowed my heart.The tears I cried were for loss, because I didn't know it was a gain.
“Love”
Did flowers bloom and birds sing?
Did you think of your first, or second teenage fling?
Did you think of the very first time he caught your eye?
Or did you think of the very last time he told you a lie?
Where were you
You said you'd be here
but yet your absence is pretty fucking clear.
The hole you left in me is not done tearing me apart, I am slowing becoming into what I've feared the most; nothing.
She is recollections of my past life,
And she lurks in the walls of my terrified mind.
I've been hearing mesmeric whispers from every direction,
Even though she is nowhere in sight.
Every memory fading,
One by one.
Every bridge burning,
One by one.
I took every breath,
One by one.
I will never be free from this hate.
Just by your presence makes me happy
Just by your smile keeps me warm
Hearing your voice makes me calm
Turn my tears into words
Words that shows how it hurts
Though can never be heard
I'm still writing this words
My heart is where you abide,
Though daily you are by my side.
With love and unyielding pride,
I be not ashamed to call you my Bride.
One day feels like an eternity without you, I feel like it's been so long, or is it just me? Am I in this alone? How long has it been this way? Have I been that blind? That in denial? That naive? Or was that me just showing my feelings?
How can you miss someone who was never physically there
Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair
Never held their hand or kissed their lips
Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
In my sleep I feel a cold draft that much reminds me of the words you ended a world with
A world full of many
Many beliefs, loves, words, and growth
Growth between two minds in limbo
Again.
It came crashing down on my windowsil.
Raking, tapping, billowing.
It clouded my thoughts, yet cleared them too.
It reminded me of you.
Every night I lay awake in bed
Trying hard to keep you off of my mind
Feeling hurt about the bad things you said
Wondering why you couldn’t be more kind.
You give me tears, you give me love, but there's more you do that lifts my heart, eve
This beating heart aches with each breath I take,
The pain is unbearable to my soul.
I am drowning in this fiery lake,
And this person I am is far from whole.
Each day, I steal many a glance at you,
There is no day left
to this December,
no scotch in the hollow cabinet
no ashes left from when you
sat beside the candle…
I lie in the palm of my bed
Love is hard with you.
Heart beats just for you.
I try and try to do my best,
but nothing is worth your tests.
I try my hardest that I do,
to be worthy of you.
Remind me why we can’t try this again.Now that we know what’s at stake,we won’t make the same mistakesand if we do, we’re done for good, the end.But at least we’ll know what could have been
" i just don't have the proper training to deal with your...condition...i hope you understand."
i nod, because yes, i do understand.
i understand that when you look at the scars on my thigh and ankle, you get chills
Love me just one time
no more motions and heart crimes
no more potions and dinner dimes
The intensity of every beat of my heart
electrifies when we depart.
You have been gone for so many years
over this time I shed so many tears.
This emptinessI feel in my chest
An Arizona Moon
The moonlight that replaced the gleaming of the sun
And cast its reflection over the dark, sullen landscape
Laying here all alone
with no one else but me.
Bore, cold, all alone,
for love is no with me.
Stupid, dumb, without a thumb
to grap what's important to me.
For if only she would see,
If you can't read the photo it goes-
Here I sit in this rut once more,
waiting, longing.
I wish I could stop but it only goes just,
beat, beat, beat.
And the raging thump continues just
Games of the heart are not easily won.
Is there victory when the battle is done?
Loss of blood will occur on both sides.
I'm looking in on a life that's not mine
Its not even a nine
You got me jealous
Acting all over zealous
You're far from perfect as can be seen by your life
I just wanna go back
Cause I feel like I’m in a trap
I swear it felt like a heart attack
Like I fell off track
My soul is in agony, because you’re loving he whom is not meI cringe by the thought of your memory; my emotions keep running through my bowels and my thoughts become rancidI love you but I hate you,
Why can't things be.
What they used to be.
When I felt special.
Around you.
Guess things got too serious.
Thought we could both bring the best out.
In both of us.
But I feel so alone.
We broke up two months ago
Had a fight haven't talked since
But I swear
I can still feel your kiss
Like it's tattooed on my lips.
My demons
Have your face now.
Haunting my existence.
Creeping into my dreams.
My nightmares.
Keeping me awake
Keeping me on edge.
Keeping me your prisoner…
My emotions are bursting out like a screech on a violin.
I miss you and it's this pain I can not hold within.
The fire in my body to cuss him out is lighting up, it feels like I have to pee after drinking 2 big gulps at 7 11 .
The fire in my body to cuss him out is lighting up, it feels like I have to pee after drinking 2 big gulps at 7 11 .
I TOLD THE LADY WITH THE SCISSORS TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY DEAD ENDS AND I GUESS I FORGOT TO CLARIFY THAT I WAS REFERRING TO MY HAIR BECAUSE BEFORE I KNEW IT SHE RIPPED OPEN MY CHEST AND SNIPPED OFF THE PAR
What to do with all the hurt?
When inside you're fit to burst.
You're supposed to be so strong.
You're supposed to not be wrong.
Put a face that betrays the truth.
Give an air of being aloof.
They keep telling me it'll turn out okay
I try to believe 'em every time they say,
"I know it's been hard but it'll get better"
They want me to move on but all I do is remember
Losing you wasn't a part of the plan...
It's hard being me but god didnt plan to make it easy.
The memories reply over and over in my head
Your laughter intermingled with mine
And mine with yours
Running and squealing
Joking and Jumping
But all of it isn’t real.
You joke around and act
I'm on the airport and they put on Thor 2.
And as I looked up and watched it,
I thought so much of you.
I look to the right and instead of you I see my mother.
And I remember your smile so perfectly.
She told me last night
A whisper on the porch
Her face was a smile,
Masking her tears.
I wanted to scream
I wanted to hold her tight
And tell her it would be ok.
I wanted to throw something
Curly brown hair,
Messy in a wonderful kind of way.
Green eyes, my favorite color.
Tall and lean and oh,
That smile.
That dimpled smile.
That smile that made it all seem alright
I can't lie, I miss you.
Every song I hear is about you.
Every story is about us.
I hear you in every word.
And see a little bit of you you in everyone else.
I'd rather be kissing you than missing you.
Don't leave "I love you"
She repeated
Look at how bright the stars shine for you
Its beautiful isn't it
It must be nice to be the new girl kissing you
Im forced to say the truth im not over you
Tired eyes.
Please believe me.
My body aches.
Please release me.
Mind is numb.
Please leave me.
Hands are shaking.
Please forsake me.
Heart is pounding.
Please disown me.
Just like that then?
That easy?
After all we've been through?
We're done, just like that.
Fuck!
I wish it were that easy for me
But no.
Instead I spent nights crying over you
sometimes
i dream
of you
tendrils creeping
wrapping
around my heart
choking out its last few beats
(( thump thump --- ))
Soft then Sad then Sinister Sally,
Answered the Call from the Man in the Alley,
Croaking and Crying and Craving a Cure,
that Poor little Girly was Foolish for Sure.
Seventeen
Im done
Im sick and tired
Of your shun
Its icy
Blizzardly
My price
Is misery
I suffice.
Im sick
Im done.
Youre not the only one.
My head, it hurts
My sister taught methat love was like arithmetic.We have toMultiply our choicesDivide the boys and menAnd add up our limitsBefore we subtract Ourselves.Those were the laws
Here I am, a broken man.
Shattered in a million pieces,
Like a vase dropped on the floor,
Almost impossible to piece together again.
And Yet... Here You Are, With Me.
Grasping my hand while sharing my pain,
It's amazing how you can fall for someone, who see's you as invisible, doesn't care is they break
you
They ponder at you wondering who you are I wish they would know me just like I did for him.
Sometimes when trying to protect
Someone else from getting hurt
Something’s got to give, usually your heart
For the best you toughen up
Just let me go,
we've obviously reached our low,
You think I'm boring and useless,
Our love has reached a weakness,
I'm trying to keep us going along,
Never fond of sharing, only child mentality.
No matter how much you pleaded, always disinclined.
Reluctant.
It rises
and falls
only to rise again.
A circadian pattern,
until one day it falls too hard.
Shattered and torn,
It attempts to rise.
Love,A Horizon compelled betweenTwo Suns and a MoonTrend carefullyBecause love is yet an eclipse that canDarken your path towards Enlightenment
I read your words and my heart starts to bleed.
How can I sing your song, if you are all I need.
Now that you're gone, and never look back,
Don't say you miss me, don't call me love, none of that would be enough.
I want your kiss, I want your hug. I want your joy, your laughter, your bliss.
You came, you brought me joy,
you brought me laughter,
but most of all, you brought me love.
And when you left, you took them all away.
I was a fool.
Only going in circles,
talking,
getting closer,
intimate as we may.
Never touch,
meetings are rare and far in between,
feelings that fade fast but come back strong,
We come and we go
and why, we don't know
there's troubles along the way
and they always seem to stay
the skies grow dark
and the sadness all swarms
and I miss you most
There is an empty place in my chest, an empty spot where my thoughts use to flow and my memories use to play. The familiar rhythm that's kept me alive for so long is slowly coming to a halt.
You and me,
We had amazing memories,
Staying up listening to Miley,
Talking about our parties.
Blaring out to your music,
Singing to the lyrics we know,
You yelling at me to choose it,
I'm scared no one will love me the way that you had. You always listened whole-heartedly and never thought the bad. I was able to be myself and open my hea
unrequited love is nothing like the soundmy thighs make
Fret.
Regret.
Anxiety.
Worry.
These are the things that held me down.
These were the things that haunted me
One big confusion. one big disaster, spinning out of control,
I remember when it used to be just us and the music.
We blocked the whole world out to hip hop,
and every now and again, I could convinvce you to try something else.
Like Carolina Liar, or Of Monsters and Men,
I miss your smile,
i miss your face,
i miss your strongly supporting embrace.
I miss your voice,
i miss your words,
that made me feel like, the only girl in the world.
I miss your laugh,
Yo dad
You remember signing my birth certificate?
I bet you were so glad
What about when I first got my ears pierced
You remember right
You were there when I shed those tears
I just keep falling back into the same things
Over and over again
I make the same mistakes
Why?
Same heartstrings pulled every time
Why do I fall in love so easily?
I hope you don’t mind,
He loves that old t-shirt,
The one with the stain from where he spilled tomato sauce,
The night he and his buddies attempted to make their own pizza,
Its 2012,
December 31st,
It all started with a Facebook message saying I had a crush,
I made you laugh and I made you blush
You gave me your number we would text and we would flirt,
Somewhere around July 13, 2013 . . .
I love the smell of you
I love the smell of you and me
Sweating, in an oven-baked heat
It’s an intoxicating, elevating, exhilarating, overwhelming, breathtaking
Today is the last day I'll feel you breathing down my back,
My love for you is gone,
I don't know if I'm sad or relieved,
Because falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me,
She strokes my hair gently
Kisses me passionatlely
Hugs me tightly
Always loves me
Wants to be with me forever
Cares about me more than anything
Spends every second of every day by my side
She looks like a cloudy day
She looks like she don’t have nothing to say so she’ll listen
She looks at me like “you miss him”
She looks like she’s got no reason to stay with him
She doesn’t even want him
Can a love be forever binding?
To return when others cripple
As thought of extraneous suitors sour.
Relic of the time that has tick tocked,
Souvenir of the heart's gift shop,
You're an over-watered flowerLeft to wilt and witherTrying to find the sunBut you're trapped under a shaded spaceA lonely place.
I remember day I captured a perfect picture.
The long humid summer, with skies a bold blue;
the year of many sorrowful goodbyes.
As that horrible that gets closer day by day the more I fight back the tears :( nothing makes letting you go easier and knowing my memories are all I have left kills me, litterly hurts my heart so bad I'd rip it out if I could.
When I hear the wind blow
I hear you voice, your name
No one will ever know
How much it drives me insane
With every thought of you
My heart hurts more and more
I don't know what to do
He was my summer love the year of twenty twelve
He was my everything for him I'd do anything
he was what I needed and maybe if I pleeded,
I'd get another chance or at least a last dance.
Am I stupid?
Am I crazy?
A maniac, perhaps?
How can I still love you?
How can you still love me?
I look at you and I still see utter perfection.
The way you walk, talk, laugh, and smile.
o1.
she’s like a sunsetfleetingly beautiful butfeels like forever
o2.
her hair is crushed auburnleaves in autumnfalling for herover and over
o3.
I keep thinking about you. But I'm not sure what to do. Maybe If i stop dreaming of what could be.Maybe If i stop thinking of it as you and me.Maybe letting you go is the key.
I collapse
I can’t breathe
I stumble in heart ache
And fall to my knees
………………………………….
The pain rushes in
I miss that feelingWhen I felt the surgeThe boost of spiritsThe sound of birdsThe world was laughterThe peace, like rainBut since it happenedIt won’t come again
Why would someone do such a thing?
Someone please tell me why.
He gave him so much of his effort.
So much of his money and time.
Between the two was everything.
He'd helped him stand back up.
Your just good as this Vodka and hurting my system . The word i love you I have discover but you don't know the meaning . thousand year can go by and it feels like your still here. There's not a day where I go without thinking about you !
The sun
Never looked bright
Anymore
When you arrived
Our souls
Taken
Right before our eyes
The night sky
Is Darker
Than ever before
When you arrived
Love, love comes and goes without a trace
It holds you, and leaves you when you need it the most
It's everywhere and nowhere !!!
It's magic, tragic, and fantastic
Your Love is like the
sun shining down on my face
my heart, like water to a flower
i could not not survive without it.
Your Love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from. i am scared that
Your love is like the sun
shining down on my face
warming my heart.
Like water to a plant
i could not survive without it.
Your love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from.
Tainted, tainted is the light,
No more is it pure and bright,
Tainted, tainted as the night,
No one can see for it is dark with fright,
Scarred am I from battles and wars,
Recovery is not an option,
How are you still here?
Jon, how are you still here
through all my pain and all my tears,
through all of the fears I've laid out
right before you?
I delved into my heart and rambled on
I've paid the price of losing someone
I lived my life without a rule book
I'd always imagined he'd be the one
I came untied and fell to ashes
I loved him, he made me cry
Here I lay in the hours of night
Filling my mind with all that I know
The image of an angel binds my sight
With frozen emotions embedded in snow.
Nine years in the past
Whether by first sight or not
you say you care as you stand and stare
into my eyes its no surprise
but underneath, yeah i can see
everything we had, it all went bad
we felt in love, but the stars above
they rejected, we were protected
My frustration is I feel out of place! I had everything I truly wanted and felt whole with what I had. Now I just feel like I have what I want and don't at the same time. I mean fame is becoming more and more of a turn down.
I am in love with your nature.
I am in love with your words,How, like dew, they riddleThe meadows of my mind,How, like rain, they tickleThe branches of my lungs.
What a landmark;Your curly lockedWhite willow head,Your rhododendronLashes, a canopyOver poolsThat frozeOn my lined face.Your oak branchesThat brushedMy lined shoulders,
It's time.
It's time to say goodbye.This is the end...the end of you and I.
I can feel it deep into my bones, through to my heart and my soulthat this life we've built for ourselves is over.
Why is it that I feel so alone?
Millions of people surround me but I know not of their presence
I am lost in thought and the world is now spinning backwards
My body is numb and rigid
You confront me with your fears and all your selfish desires
But have you ever thought that your obstacles or hurdles you've compiled?
You never lifted a finger or even got off your ass
For love I'd give my last words, but never speak them with a lie,I'd fight for your trust, but never force it from your side.For love I'd climb the highest peak, but only if it ended with you as my view,
There is something across the sea,
Something foul that beckons to me.
Will I leave?
I shall indeed.
To my Muse that beckons to me.
There is something on yonder shore,
I cannot let myself go to sleep
For I dream of you and weep
So then all night as I lay in bed
I have thoughts of you run through my head
You look everywhere; up and down
Trying to find that special someone.
You look everywhere; side to side
Trying to find that number one.
Unsure
You see him from afar; down the hall
Love is like a wild stormWith a shower of broken hearted rainIt will swing you like a tornadoFlood your heart like a hurricaneIts hard to love someoneThat doesn’t love you
Are we able to see each other? The beauty of you and me can you see it? Can you feel my heartbeat when you're next to me? You're a dream I can't touchFading away with the clouds
I want to be perfect, I don't want the pain. I want her to be happy. I want everything to gain. I want people to disappear, her attention I crave. She makes me strong, she makes me brave. I don't ever want to argue, I don't want her to hate me.
A steady rhythm,
A speedy pace,
My heart now seems to race.
A race,
A fight,
What we do in the night.
Loving, leaving,
I begin to start bleeding.
Remorce and grieving
I miss how you looked in my eyes that first night
I could not recal anything else
the way your soft skin felt on my cold hands
The blurred memory gave me a rush
I miss when we layed recalling the past
I want to love you,
but I feel like we rushed.
Two months went too quickly.
It left me thinking, "Is this lust?"
You said it was more,
and with me you did agree,
and getting "us" back
Love can be a poison
Like a snake wrapped around you,
Suffocating you,
Injecting the poisonous venom
Those tears that hit your face,
They burn like acid
Why must this happen to you
All you do is push and shove“You’re so distant,” then you’d say.Do you even want my love?“Save it for a rainy day”
and there’s a whole in my chest and it aches for you
and I’m going crazy in my head, I don’t know what to do
and I’m sad because you’ll probably never feel the same
and because I’ll never see you again
You are my South Wind,
There to uplift me
There to surround me
But never to falter.
You are my Sun,
There to light my way
There to give me hope
But never to dim.
She screams as the light beams pushing and pushing the wall of despair.
Times of love from above is just like a dove resting on my shoulder.
Times of love, Times of love, Times of love.
Because all the things you've done im like this today. Hurt, numb, empty; whats lost is gone forever. Forever feeling a unsacred empty space. You took the only part of me that wasnt yours, the part of me that you havent already distroyed.
The hole in my heart is deeper than the sea,
The hole in my heart is blacker than the new moon sky.
I still wish you were with me, your touch still lingers with me.
As I’m asleep I dream of me back in your arms,
I am a silver moon. You are my world. If you do not desire this gravitational pull any longer, then I shall take myself elsewhere. I can find another planet to orbit my heart around. Someone who does not consider me to be a meteor.
You weren’t a waste,I was just a hassle.I wanted one taste,But I tore you apart,And I ruined your life.I caused my own demise,My apocalypse..
theres many ways to show love
actions speak louder than words
many people may recall the scene of pain
to overcome pain forgiveness is the key.
Can a heart still break once it's stop beating can you believe me even though you know I am lying will you be there when I need you even though when your in need I'm never anywhere to be found when your in need will you catch me when I am
I said a word
I made a friend
I am yellow
I said a word
I am in a relationship
I am pink
I said a word
I got into a fight
I am blue
I said a word
I knocked on the door just to listen and see if she was home
For some time I waited, cold winds flowing past me and down my back my mind started to rome
Alone is what I began to feel but then she came to the door
I used to write poems
about the colors of your eyes
with a stomach full of butterflies.
But now I write words
about the voices in my head
and how I wish I were dead.
You used to promise
He was my bandaid. I was his confidant. He was fun in bed. I was scared of becoming attached. He was my friend and potential lover. I was an experiment. He made me feel sexy and beautiful. I made him climax. He lied about wanting more.
Tears roll down her face as she sees her lover with someone else
Disgusted she feels
She wishes she was someone else
The anger inside from the lies he told
Disrespected from his actions
He is so bold
Little reminders, I find them everywhere.
Little reminders of how you used to care.
Looking back we had it all, no wonder no one predicted our fall.
More days pass and you’re still not around,
We don't get to timeour crises of faith,do we? When thebite has gone outof the bourbon itseems as thoughjokes are not funny,as they used to be.
It’s hard to miss something you never really had, But that’s all part of not having a dad Don’t get me wrong, I wish he were here, But like always he’s no where near. He’d be angry to know I’ve lost all respect,
Your memory is within me,
And so it always will be.
I remember now that you're free,
From the pain of mortality.
In my mind I see your eyes,
As blue as the endless sky.
I'm a statistic because of my family.I'm the derivative of a broken home.A shattered background of instability and hardship defines me.The remnants of my childhood are just bits and pieces
You reel me in,
I cringe from you.
You toss me aside,
I hold you down.
You throw me out,
I run away.
You long for me,
I stay in the sidelines.
You lure me back,
I come back,
i want to hear everything you have to say.
i want you to drown me in the sound of your voice,
and revive me with the subtle whispers you breathe.
i want you to perform a symphony
across the universe,i fall into the sky.lucy is there,as it rains she cries,"dear prudence,don’t pass me by.”
Four years ago I would be crying
Devisitated
Screaming out why me
Looking inthe mirror trying to figure out whats wrong with me
But now I stap back and look at it all
Damn that was such a hard way to fall
Who blesses this child that cries alone, when the place that’s safe is farthest from home.
To whom does she thank for the large dreams broken and who will wipe her face when tear stained shirt is soaking.
Last night I thought I calmed the waters
You went back to sleep
Peacefully
But in the morning, there you were
Hollow and empty
Again
Sometimes you disappeared
For only a second
This is my last breath for youthought for youlast time ill ever spill my heart for youI said I'd wait forever but forevers deadI need a new reason to get out of my bedI need you out of my head, for good
Watching raindrops fall from out of my window
As tears fall upon my pillow
My heart it aches
Because I've tried and tried...what will it take?
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I am sitting in a chair, thinking of your words, knowing that it wasn't going to be, so this time I know that I would be lonely. I walk into the room and the time passes by, I soon begin to forget...
Your currents carry all different colors that nobody else can see but meThey blow the strongest on my worst daysWhen you're near me, I can feel youWhen you're nowhere in sight, I can still hear you speak
Why did God give man a voice...
if no one would listen.
Literally
Im screaming..
SCREAMING!. yet you call me soft spoken.
You’re the sunshine of my cut
You’re the hatred in my love
I thank you for my mistake
Cause it made me so crazy
And I deserve it.
THE DEFINITION OF A PUPPET IS NOT THE MEANING OF ME, YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN PULL MY STRINGS AND MAKE ME DANCE AS YOU PLEASE, I'M A HUMAN-BEING WITH FEELINGS AND YOU JUST CANT SEE, ITS ALL SAID AND DONE NOW THAT'S THAT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIND A PUPP
I know that I was hanging from a cliff you pushed me overand then all of a sudden felt safe looking up at you and while I thought you had grabbed me to save me,I soon found,I was the one who had grabbed your ankles,
Scented oil and a dozen sticks
Emptied out and spoiled it
Poisonous and full of blame
Cheeks beet red again
Spilled it out and filled it up
A tablespoon and a teacup
Words were spoken of hate,
Whispers of love.
And although we both loved
And hated,
Hate got to us.
We thought we’d be hurt by another.
Im running as fast as I can away from that path with the fork at the end of the road
I've been down this road before
Last time it left me hurting and picking up the pieces shattered among the floor
the thoughts behind love, the thoughts, the meaning for love makes you want to go crazy and wild for, your heart chasing while your mind just being wasted, wasted off of your heart consisting pacing, your heart never stop chasing off of the though
I tore through her forrest of thorns
slowly becoming crazed,
the faster I galloped,
the more I panted.
I saw her horizon line,
bathing like temptation
against the heat of
I used to think we could be one of two things--
friends, or strangers
But I've come to the realization that it MUST be the latter
I am so incredibly attracted to you
And I can't help myself
Cut in two, ripped apart
How could you-break my heart?
Your love was firm, your love was rare
But now I squirm, and I despair
How did I change? Please tell me how
I find it strange, but I’ll allow
A toast for the scumbag
Three cheers for the jerk.
Hip-hip for the asshole
With his signature smirk.
He struts down the alley
With his head held so high
He’s better than you
So don’t even try.
It started at your ankles, rising slowly with the blood
and sinews that attached it to your leg.
I first was envious of your skin,
wanting to be the thing that wrapped around you
There is nothing I can give you.
No poems to read you have not read, no books,
no songs to listen to and think of me that you have not already heard.
There is no offering of peace or stability,
I woke up with you on my mind, the same way I went to sleep.
I prayed for your happiness and welfare before my own soul to keep.
I've been hurt and dragged and bludgeoned to death by the bombardment of my own heart.
Blinded by the prettiest eyes I've ever seen,
Just had to compliment, not to be mean.
Blue color unlike anything I've known,
Stunned by the beauty, it clearly shown.
Held hostage by your glance, Baby Blue,
When we first spoke
Without having seen your face
I knew I would want you and want to be yours
After talking more I fell....hard
My only hope is that you would catch me
Psyched and love-struck by you
Dilate, constrict
Constrict, dilate
My heart is just as excited as my thoughts
Did I eat a love bug?
Or was that the pig I roasted from under the rug?
In my heart, is there a desire that may tear it apart?
Is there love and hate, that may rise to a dreadful fate?
Is there a soul, so dark from being cursed, that it blackens like coal?
Country fair, sweet seventeen
There you were, and everything
Faded from my view except
The boy who had me won
Okay, you've done it,
Are you happy now?
You've crushed my soul,
You're not stopping to help me pick it up.
"Come on back," you say,
What do you want now?
Another piece of my heart?
There are men more clever than I. Thousands of handsome faces to steal you away. Confident Trojans, brooding, drunk musicians whose songs envelope you in swift, obvious seduction. Bullshit poets. Tale as old as time.
Give me then something to write about
All the truth-tellers scrambling around
Aching twisting burning out
Because really, whats left to say?
Why write why write why write
Poetry?
Hi honey!
How was your day? Let me get your coat & hat.
I made dinner for you I hope you enjoy what I made for you.
I love you so much heartache. no one else knows me as well as you do.
Well I'll see you tomorrow.
My heart is heavy, with sorrow and grief
It needs time to heal
It is desperate, starving for relief.
The inseparable bond just disappeared into thin air,
As if it never existed to begin with.
But wait, flashback: weekend after weekend , we'd ride the metro to D.C. or go see a movie. We'd talk, we'd laugh, we'd have a good time.
My tongue will not spill No. I want to give her the world. No! she deserve the world. From my rib that is why He created Girl. She is so dangerous, avoid the eyes. Her voice is like an Angel, so check your pulse for evidence that you are alive.
I'm shutting down
What else am I to do?
Till you come around
Till then I'll wait for you
So broken
How I feel inside
words unspoken
All these feelings denied
I long to tell you whats already been said
but the rain has stopped, one sided romance feels dead.
The bitter cold bite of reality engulfed me
Hello
My name is Ashleigh
I am a 19 year old African American female that was born in December
Not only am I trying to succeed in beating out the statistics
I am also proving that I can and will be something
Why not me.
Look at them, they seem so happy
Hand in Hand, drowning in the endless pools of each other's eye
Oceans of euphoria, smiles real big
like a child watching fireworks
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
When winter storms bring snow and ice and springs face hides beneath
And life is draped in cold regret where jealousy sinks its teeth
The road is dark and rough, though often traversed by those
It hurts, every whisper
Each wayward glance, so close
Every moment heard and felt
Twisting the shard with each tremor, vibration
Icy crystalline glass wedged to deep to pull
Oh beating drum in my body and ears
Once there was a boy with a heart so big
A heart so willing to give, give and give
A heart so forgiving and filled with joy
A common trait in such a little boy
"You look nice today."
Flashback
"You look nice today."
She said it so sweet
The smile that crept across her face
Everything about me melted away
Wanting to run into her arms
This Poem is my everything. If you can, just listen and let me know what you think!
What does it mean to breathe again to feel again to heal again
It means to wake up and to see your mistakes
Don’t ever let your mistakes take the place
The place of your joy and the place of your smile
Its you that I've been waiting for
The one who would sweep me back to shore
Why do I fall so easily
When the words you used were so cheesy
my heart beats fast
You were my first and I was hoping my last
when I watch the patchwork of stars
ten thousand galaxies away
when I watch you go - orbit away
from me as I stay
stagnant we are, feelings fall away like dust
plummet to the earth
In the depths of my mind,
I envision my own world.
Its beauty is flawless.
There is nothing but starry skies
and peace that only paradise
can provide.
That day, I saw your despair and
I can see the heartache in your eyes
someone before me made you want to die
I've seen it all so many times
I'll try my best but still I'll make you want to cry
Memories of you fill my mind.
My heart aches and tears fall from my eyes.
I miss you more than words can express.
And I cry as you're laid to rest.
Sometimes I feel so sad and alone,
(poems go here) This World... This place
is so cold and hard
It feels like there are boulders on my chest
They crush my body
The day they met, it was love at first sight
He kissed her, She felt butterflies for the first time
She fell in love with his actions
He told her she is the one he first ever loved
Shattered. Shattered like the chandelier
Now crumbled on our floor.
What once lit our worlds
Now disintegrates into the dust of time.
The words fall
Calmly
Yet sharply
Gracefully
Yet cruelly
Razors clothed in a hushed, quiet tone
Yet, maybe, there could be
A hint of longing,
That lingers for me
Theres one thing i've learned about love,
They never come with protection,
So we are all forced to go raw.
I was forced to fall in love with myself,
Simply because nobody else will.
Vagabond. Wanderer. Nomad.
You volatile piece of filth.
Torn and wrenched my heart
has been; now it is as lifeless
as what you call a soul.
Talk about cliche
I've got my heart on my sleeve.
Unsure what to do
Don't know where to go.
You reeled me in like a little fish
You've pulled me around like a puppet on a string
MAN OF GOD? MAN OF GOD?! YOU’RE NO MAN OF GOD…YOU’RE A BOY WHO’S HARD…THERE’S A DIFFERENCE.