What they don't know
People say don't Give up on something if it means a lot to you,
if you can't go a day without thinking about it.
But they don't know what it's like to get torn to pieces over and over again.
They don't know what it's like to stand up and swallow your pride over and over again
just to get knocked right back down.
And after you rise for the umpteenth time you get told to try again.
To keep fighting.
"Don't let him go without a fight" they say.
Well you know what?
I've been fighting.
I've been fighting damn hard
for this good for nothing piece if shit I'm still so head over heels in love with.
It has brought me nothing but pain and heartache.
Waking up after a sleepless night with a pit in my stomach.
Playing over memory after memory as I try to avoid the ones I screwed up.
Then they tell me to let go because he's not worth it.
He's an asshole.
What they don't know is that he was my happiness.
To me he is worth it. He was my asshole.
I've been trying day and night to let him go
. But everything brings me back to him,
and he does everything but slip away from me.
It seems as if he's falling closer and closer into my grasp.
They say I'll find another like him.
Bullshit.
So what do I do?
Do I stand up and keep fighting or do try to let him go?
Those people who think they know everything?
Who think their advice from a 1980s romantic comedy will work in the real world?
Who think that this is all a game and it's all in my head?
Yeah, they've never met someone who became their everything, their world.
They've never grasped their world
as it crumbled and abandoned them
in a time they needed it most.
They've never spent endless days and nights picking up the pieces,
trying to place them back together
only to throw them against something in a fit of frustration.
Desperation.
They've never sat in the corner of an empty room,
tears streaming down their faces as they
hated themselves for being the sole cause of the waves of unhappiness that flooded their shore.
These people think they know it all?
Fuck them.