To Grow is To Thaw First

It is true that nothing fixed was not first broken

When the rays of sun filter through the clouds and breathe spring into early May

It is only a deep exhale after winter’s tense, repressed torment

Just as May, I am never quite as fresh and alive as when I first release from the cold

When the fracturing of a heart occurs and frigid halves must separate

I find that after the thaw

I am always riper than before

Words that once crawled from my pen flow like a creek muscling through the last of winter’s resolve

Tears are not a burden but blessed rain, the water to battle away the freeze of feeling and the self-pity of snow, the suffocating fears that sadness is all a mistake and I was better off before

Yet rebirth is too flimsy a word to explain the utter creation that occurs

When I shake hands with my woes and slowly part ways

When floods welcome in self-respect and warm feelings stay

To experience the dissolution of a dependency on someone else is to coax the growth of oneself and let the harmony of thought and life coexist

I am never more myself

I am never greater in being, stronger in feeling and attuned to the world as it beckons with opportunity

Than after love leaves me broken


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