teenager
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The man on the corner with nothing to spare.
But who would pause to help him?
Watch as people stride past,
They do not dare look him in the eyes.
Pussy
is that how others see me
a coward
filled with anxiety and trepidation
too fearful to exist without
gentle coddling
mewling and cowering
embarassment
standing awkwardly
unsure, hesitantly
cheeks aflame with a roaring fire
whispering children now conspire
do i speak or sink into to this silence
others laugh, smile, speak
it seems so easy to cry now
the tears coming from some ever replenishing source
and I am not startled any longer
when a hot stream flows down my cheeks
when blinking releases a torrent
The water crashes over my body
and my ears are invigorated with its sensation:
It's cold in here.
I close my eyes.
I see colors and hues
Dripping.
Down.
Down.
Down.
A fun filled childhood
that consists of giggles, hugs and cartoons
A happy kid with no worries,
what a wonderful time it has been.
My family is joyful which makes this time most relishing
i think that if i take it into too much consideration,
the momental magic seems to be shaved away.
there were twice as many stars as usual-
Swollen legs and chunks of lash glue covering my eyelids were suppose to be the problems after prom.
Instead, funeral arrangements and mournful phone calls to friends and our principal marked the day.
Me, Myself and I.
Everyday, I wake and try
One step at a time.
Everyday, I wake and cry
One time, I was small
And carefree, lovely, and kind
I was just...
Me, Myself and I.
Years locked up, forbidden
A rush of feeling unleashed
Everywhere I look
I am reminded
Of the beauty and love
I once turned away from
When falls approaches, I feel the wind blowing blistfully on my face.
The colorful leaves fall so gently from the trees.
I picture a breathtaking decidous forest.
I see a teenage boy as innocent as he can be.
Feather light touches,
blink and they’re gone.
I used to watch flowers in the early Spring bloom,
unfurling the curl of their petals in a yawn
Not smiling at smiling me from the DMV.
Not watching an R without all of the PG.
Not even checking the squares of democracy.
These are the baby teeth you forgot about
the pieces of you that you don't remember
the sweetness of your innocence
the roots of your upbringing
that passed by in rollerskates and scraped knees
Childhood.
A concept where everyone hopes,
Wishes, and dreams
Will last a lifetime.
There is much stigma on both sides,
like clockwork
it struck when i was sixteen
i thought i would be safe
no one should have what i have
down there
find the common denominator
one second plus two seconds
i will never wish for you to come back.
or even to visit.
i will only spare my love and all good energy,
but keep it at a distance.
At 9 you will discover feel that you are
So grown up-and in too many ways you are
Because you have to be but please remember
That it’s okay to be a kid
Dear ------ -----:
"You just have to say it. Tell him. Trust me, you'll feel better."
I wonder if it's really that easy.
I know life can be uneasy. It's not what it's always deemed to be, But you know that it can be, see, Your parents taught you all that you know,
Hi
I'm 18 years old
Or should I say 18 years young
But old enough for to know my rights and wrongs.
It doesnt mean I always do what's right.
Dear Younger Me,
Remember all those conversations we used to have?
And remember them walls?
Them walls were once memories.
What if them memories conspired into black masses of space?
Dear 15-year-old Bellla,
College is rad. College is bomb.
I am having the time of my life at Arizona State.
Why did I have to wait?
My classes are going very well.
My friends are swell.
I watched you,
You stood amidst a crowd of people, shivering from the wind that blew
Your edges were ripped and your color fading,
I could smell your fear from so far away, it was pervading,
Self-Inflicted
I do this “thing.”
I bring more pain to myself when I’m already hurting; and I can’t stop.
I crank the sad songs,
I drive in the pouring rain,
I. Just. Love. You.
No words in the world are more true
People say that I want many things
Maybe a dress and maybe a ring
That I ask too much
I should love for a touch
There is a veil over my eyes,One thick, and made of fog,Made of years of sighs,And risen from a malodorous bog,
I look myself in the mirror and I see a "tall lonely depressed girl."
Well, not really.
My friends see that.
They don't see all of the struggles that I go through.
I cupped you in my hands and i said you couldn't leave.
How silly of me.
You burrowed your way through my ring finger
and fought your way free.
I saw a picture of me and you today.
My blinds are always open
Because, for some reason, Inside without Outside
Is suffocating
My shelves are full but my library is empty
My fan never stops spinning
The carpet is stained -
we are children in the dark,
only able to see by the light
of the reflections of our skin in the moonlight.
I'm a big girl now
I can't accept everyone's opinion
I'm a big girl now
I can't suppress my own
I'm big
And strong
Stuck in the muck, I am a slut There is nothing I can do but sit and sulk. I can't control minds, I can't control your vibeI can't control your life, but you controlled mine.
pain. when you're in pain for much of your day, you'd do anything to rid it away, but you cant. all you do is sleep and pant. when you've given up on such, just to sit in the muck an drown.
The sentence of an almost adultFor the crime of surviving this longNot livingEyes closed, shut tightThe only thing that had my name on it before now were
The neverending chorus of shrieks
Pierced my ears
Left a headache
The worst hour of the week.
The crying was worse
Caused by anything
She lies,
And she does it so easily,
She hides,
And she does it so sneakily,
She rips apart hearts,
Measuring your ability to fail
Failing to conquer your fears
Fears that consume you
You are breathless, speechless, lifeless
Lifeless for a lifetime
Before I get into it
I'd just like to say
I don't mean to offend
Anyone, anyway.
She’s looking at him and he’s looking at her
And neither of them will speak to each other
Over dinner there is only silence and the
Quiet clinking of glasses and mushy chewing
Eyes dark. The Joker’s grin,bares yellow teeth.Hair,Looks as if rubbed chicken skin was rubbed upon itHunk? Not in the least.Beef cake, yeah, thats it.Nose,Takes up the entirety of the mess that is your face...But it works man,Somehow. I watch
I’m constantly holding back tears, I hate the lump in my throat,
I wake up, do my makeup, fix my hair, and throw on my coat,
I walk out the door and into the world,
Here I am everyone, just a lost, vulnerable girl,
I spend my days longing and striving for a perfection,I know I can never reach.I spend my nights planning for the day to come,Making goals I'll never meet.I feel I am accepting of others and their beliefs,Given they respect my own.I'm not very wel
I'm going to tell you a story. It's about a girl who thought she was extraordinary.
So many people going away. So many people going separate ways. Long friends, having to make amends. Great memories; Now having to say goodbye. Trying to stay strong and not cry.
im really rather fond of drivingof moving, while not moving muchof possessing the power to annihilatebut using it for meandering about andgoing to mcdonalds
You see me on Friday nights
Under all those shiny, bright lights
Yelling for the win.
You'd think I'm the prettiest
That everyone loves to be around me
the artist who drinks thier own blood,
is the first to taste the salt,
flavor to enhance the taste,
seasoning to please the guests,
our blackest paints add the deepests contast,
When I was 7 years old
My mind was consumed
With visions of angels
The soft glow of the sun
The splashing of water
School, eat, sleep, repeat
“Mommy, can I go and play with Jenna?”
“No, you must study and never cheat.”
School, eat, sleep, repeat
“Mother, can I have a cookie?”
How do you think that way?
Not owning a thought in your head
Like a parrot, repeat what other’s said
Believing in lies
Worried if you don’t, the spotlight dies
Friday—a day that every kid looks forward to because it is the beginning of the weekend
Most kids are excited because it means they can do whatever they want
Stop.
Rewind.
I didn't just wake up at 5 am
to sit in a classroom full of people I can't look in the eye
I didn't answer that question with spam
I'm not thinking about the face somebody gives to you
It’s not just the emos with their razors.
It’s the middle school kids
At the top of the bleachers
Playing that stupid game Bloody Knuckles.
Asking the kids around for anything hard or sharp;
After the NAMI meeting organized by my family,
AKA the GSA club,
We,
My friends,
Stood in a circle behind the refreshment table—
I.
When she was ten
The first zits
Appeared on her face
While her friends continued to bask
In their childhood glow.
Small and pink,
Barely noticeable,
In a little town close to homeI found the grave of twelveNone were old enough to bear a weight of woeBut none were young enough to shame
Once upon a time babe
I was color blinded
Lost what mattered the most to me
But perhaps with you I'll find it
Lost myself in your eyes
Maybe one..two..three..or four times
Hey it's me, your son.
You see Mom,
Jesus.
I'm sorry Mom.
Oh God, I didn't mean to do this mom.
I've got time for this last call, and it went straight to voicemail.
I am. I am AshleighOr so it says, I am from the Ash Tree.I am the thousands of words written in the darkness in hundreds of other poems, some just like thisI am the photos that plaster my walls
All I wanted was to be wanted
You gave me meaning
A purpose
A reason to live
I lost myself in you
Who am I without you
You said you loved me
But then you left me
You are the reason.
The reason I am me.
The reason I will be,
the only one you will ever see
that is as happy as can be.
s.f.
7.19.15
My hope is powered
by the greatness of your heart.
My smile is fueled
by the sweetness of your words.
My mind is functioning
with the help of your rambunctious emotions.
I want to get better
help me get better.
living like this, is not called living.
No matter where I go it's always pouring the same
and im tired of etting cold
all drenched from the rain.
12/1/2011, age 17
A shining star, a cute kitten;
All are beautiful, all are bright.
How is one to avoid the beauty
Of the earth?
You cannot say that laughter is bad
She is
in her little red car and it is
Friday night, so she is
laughing and the music is
loud.
Next Friday night
she is crying and
she doesn't know exactly why
I don't want you so involved in my life
What choices I make are my own right
You can get mad and angry
But its your reputation on the line, not mine.
Watch over me whether I want you to our not,
Slumber. Crema. Ludwig. Aden. Perputa. Amaro. Mayfair. Rise. Hudson. Valencia. X-Pro ll. Sierra. Willow. Lo-Fi. Earlybird. Brannan. Inkwell. Hefe. Nashville
Who am I ?
Im a young black African American teen.
The one who always gets in trouble.
Always getting locked behind bars.
Six feet in the ground.
Or a bullet wound.
Who am I ?
Here I am.
All alone, yet somehow surrounded, by the lights, the noise, and the all the people, so slow.
Is it slow?
crazy
that a 14 year old is
too young to make choices
but old enough to take responsibility
crazy
that a 15 year old is
not able to control his tongue
Who am I? Who are you?
A mirror.
I am you. I am the reflection of you. The true you. Your heart. Your soul. Your inner being. Your every essence. You have an indelible presence.
I'm more than girl,
I'm a woman in training,
Caring, obsessive, just a little crazy,
I'm a geek, or nerd, whichever is preferred,
I cook, clean, sing, and do just about everything,
There are days I get lazy,
Flashback to the simple times
Your skinny jeans black, your t-shirt white
‘Cause now you're covered up in layers and lies
It seems you've forgotten we had one hell of a ride
Everyone gets a pimple once in a while, I know that, and everyone has their own issues and insecurities, I know that
Who is to blame when I feel this sinking tugging pressure is it me or is it her or him or all of them or this whole world that centers on grades and looks and Internet?
As I stand inside this room
I can feel the darkness loom
Deep inside my broken heart
My guilty soul tears me apart.
And I cannot describe the pain
It does not sting or lightly maim
Not many will understand and that is ok. I write for me. I write because I have no other outlet. No one
knows the pain I have went through.
Physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Spiritually.
This feeling of depression, sadness, sorrow . . .
Will this be the oppression of tomorrow?
I'm just a teenager,
But I'm expected to do so much.
Win nationals,
Get an A in high school classes,
Get an A in college classes,
Win rodeos,
Not have sex,
Not drink,
Not do drugs.
I have a secret.
One I've harbored for 18 years,
You can see it on the upturned corners of my mouth,
A whisper and a hint hidden in a brown fleck.
I have never been kissed.
I've got you in my bare hands.
Yet it's as if I am at your command.
It's no wonder you have a reputation for being so witty.
You know my secrets and at times they're for you to keep.
If you really knew me, you would know I suffer from depression.
A misdiagnosed type of new vision.
Seeing reality as it was always meant to be.
Seeing the actuality of the false viatlity of the world.
I am a weak, depressed, lost, little girl who is not capable of anything.
and I refuse to fly free and believe in the fact that
one day I will become of worth and somebody you will remember.
Sneaking photographs,selfies in my English classto post on Facebook
Staying up til threewith homework, and on weekendssleeping in til noon
There is a time when morning, afternoon, evening, and night all blur together into what feels like a short six hours.
It is when hours feel like munutes and years feel only as long as a few months.
It rips, it tears,
It sears, it burns,
It yells, it screams
Of pain unseen
Unseen yet felt
Untouched yet marked
Marked by what was there
Now seems non existent
It breaks, it shatters
You cannot hide the feelings.
You cannot crumple them up and toss them in the trash like you do with a love note that failed to love.
Why does this keep happening?
The pain and depression after the joy.
I always think I'm doing better,
When a memory hits.
I go spiraling back down into sadness.
Everyone has a secret to bury:
The girl with the blonde hair, enticing smile,
brand new car, the quarterback boyfriend...
The "perfect" life.
Her life isn't as perfect as it would seem.
he counts the money in his wallet
the bills running through his cold hands
he imagines them
as her hands
she counts the freckles on her shoulders
her skin is cold
New Love
They're three little words, but not very little to me,
tell me your dreams, fears, and who you want to be.
People claim to be lucky at the cards and unlucky in love,
Growing up ain't as fun as you think
No one can prepare you for the
Zits, quips, stink of uncertainty
The fog that overtakes, blinds, defines you
Picks you up and clouds your judgment,
And I’m screaming out my lungs
praying that you’ll hear me
It bounces off the walls
Wild and Reckless,
thank you so much
as you reflect
on all of us.
Wild and Reckless,
we appreciate this.
We will never forget
the bad name you gave us.
Sitting in a room full of people but nobody can hear your scream.
Walking down the halls alone as if you were in a horrible dream.
I'm a 17 year old girl from Brooklyn.
When I tell people that I don't say it with a smile.
Instead I frown.
I look down at the ground that I walk on everyday
in Brooklyn
I fear for my generation
The little girl on the street
knew how to keep a beat.
The little girl on the street
kept people on the edge of their seat.
The older girl on the street
couldn't make ends meet.
Sometimes i pretend to be someone famousi wake up like them and dress like them,i slip into their skin and it’s okay.
Like the shimmering dust of gunpowderI was wounded by his eyes like gunpowderLifeless, but with the potential to combustLike that paints the parking lotBeneath our feet
Everyday I come home crying.
Everyday I hate myself a little more.
Everyday I hope to die.
Everyday my limits are pushed.
Everyday I am laughed at, taunted, and abused.
Everyday I hope I don't wake up.
It's been going on for too long.
They say Rachel has the potential.
POTENTIAL POTENTIAL POTENTIAL
Is all I hear.
Rachel is talkative.
Rachel constantly voices her opinions.
I have gone to school for many years,
What I have learned isn't exactly clear.
There were many teachers who taught me well,
English, math, science, and how to spell.
Mr. Care, he was the best,
In this society, the most troubling age in life, the worst part ever, the one we all hate to look back on and love to look back on with disdain, is romanticized.
Mistaken Always shaken We move because we're told But it's getting old Tired of these rules The tools They say, the tools to life To growing and succeeding To living and competing Jump, run, and go They say it but really though What do they mean
You tried so hard but you never quite were
who you wanted to be, feeling so unsure.
There were times you wanted to let it all go
there were days you wanted to be best in show.
i know you could never love me
not with the way that i bring rain upon sunny days
and storms into my own eyes
i know you could never love me
when i refuse to even love myself
It's happening again.The same old phone calls at nearly 4am.Wondering if I should even pick up,Its pretty obvious what you want-You only tell me you love me after 2am.Once everyones gone and the liqour sets in. You dialate in the darkness,wander b
Thoughts of her
Dripping into my sternum
From all the way up there
In my brain
Where she has implanted herself
Like an alien egg
Gray, rainy day
Though the sun shines outside
Ain’t no thing to study.
Racketous roar ripping through my silence,
Her pale face, rigid as stone
Flattening my smile,
And my fear-widened eyes,
My heart was once so open
So innocent and free
I shared it with the world
For the world enamored me
I want you
She wants you
So there's a decision
But yet, no decision
If you feel like you need to choose,
I’ll help you out
Pull out of the race, stop playing your game
I want the boy
with our baby
cradled to his chest
I want the girl
wearing leggings
and my sweatshirt
I want someone
who will share food with me
and let me barrow their fork
Who am I?
What is the meaning of
My existence?
People rush past me
But it feels like time has stopped.
I am aware of
All the movement around me
But I am unable to take a step.
tasted your cinnamon skin
and your nicotine teeth
like honey baby
your tongue was
stickyslipperysweet
you smell like cheap beer
and taste like
bad decisions
another warm friday afternoon
Typical dork
Sneaky,geeky
Tutor, poet, plays chess
Inside a normal teenager
Misunderstood
Our society is broken
Rock & Roll is dead
education is reserved for the rich,
Love is dicated by law,
and the American Dream
lives overseas
Our rebels
without a cause
No Pity for a Pedestrian
By Irvin Eden Ortega
I’m looking
I’m looking
I’m looking
The welling tears form a layer of haze from the outer to inner corners.
I hold my breath hoping that the liquid will recede like a wave returning to its base from shore.
Uneventfully I awoke.
Unsurprisingly the sun beating hot on the single paned windows –
Caused dew drops of moisture to form
Dragging myself out of bed,
Discarding one used shirt for another,
I will prove you wrong.
I will show you that I can.
I will never quit.
I will fight for it.
I will be knocked down.
I will want to stop.
I will get back up.
I will do it for ME.
I remember the things i would do just to get high.
A trade here, a borrow here, an i owe you one to its for something important.
Just to get high.
Meeting strangers, sex for drugs, drugs for sex.
Just to get high.
Everyday there is an uphill battle,
I face them heart on with my hardest tackle.
It's so easy to just go with the flow,
When people are inviting you for trouble, how do you say no?
Is it the devil that pulls you in?
Open up my eyes and what do I see,
A world full of lust, drugs, thugs, anger, and greed,
I don’t think this is how God really planned it to be.
It’d be so easy to change if someone planted that seed.
So I messed up again and this time it was worse
Almost leaving in a cop car, the next will be a hearse
I made a simple mistake and at the time it wasn’t that bad
Just take these two shirts and stuff em in my bag
I don't think of myself as hard to please
I only pick my clothes a week before I wear them
I literally criticize my best friends about every pimple on their face
Which is why I don't have any
The morning sun shining brightly over the orange grove
The sun warming the plants and animals, signaling the start of yet another day
Dust coming up in clouds as the tractor meanders through the trees
I gave my heart to you,
My heart beated for you.
My heart would have bled for you,
and in the end my heart died because of you.
My body fell weak from the pain,
The warmth I had from the kindness I showed,
I tell them what I am,
Try to be who I am
It's not enough
I'm nothing to them
I am who I am.
Nothing will change that.
They say I'm a trashy whore,
That I'm a disrespectful brat.
A permanent solution for a temporary problem.
Crippling an innocent soul.
Forever silencing a beautiful voice.
Leaving us without our loved one.
You cannot see my pain,
Because it is in my heart.
All you see is gain,
But I am torn apart,
Physical wounds you can see,
Maybe then you will understand me,
Written in red,
Until I am dead,
Sitting on these stupid tracks;
if the train comes, let it.
I know I won't regret it.
I'm sick and tired.
You don't get it.
I try to net it,
but you can't strangle bad luck.
Broken curfews,
Broken laws,
Broken mirrors
on her walls.
Broken bottles,
Broken homes
Broken boy
feels all alone.
Textbooks and teachers told me
“Hold on to everything;
Everything you write -
It will turn into something one day”
And one day became overturned boxes
Tossed around my room,
My paradise
My sanctuary
My place of saving
When all else is lost
A confusing mess
An sweet escape
From the brainwashing
And self-harm
The confusion I feel
When you make me feel
Drowning in the confusion that is my soul.
Begging for mercy, from this unknown path that I'm taking.
Reflecting numbness, but I'm only searching for it, always calling out in the night.
(poems go here) One way or another you find it ok to act as two
Although the saying says to "be you"
But you find that difficult
Surrounding yourselves with people who are just like you, but don't love you
I let the chills take over
The feeling of being unwanted
A storm raining on my parade
For my feelings came crashing down
Raining confessions
Of how I was truly feeling about my imperfections
I trudge through this open field
Yearning for my Heart to yield
Same goes for this heavy Head
Empty and Possessed, unread
