Dear ------ -----:

 

"You just have to say it. Tell him. Trust me, you'll feel better."

I wonder if it's really that easy.

It seems I see you every ten minutes, ten seconds

In my head

But you’re not really there

It’s constant agony

Feeling like you are here with me

Should be here with me

But knowing

You

Are

Not.

 

I tell myself it’s okay,

That I’m fine

But I’m not

I see us together

Happy

Doing amazing things

Gazing at the stars, in the

Cool grasp of mountain air

Travelling the world

No one even knows where we are

But it doesn’t seem to matter

Because we know where

We are.

 

My friend says to tell you

But I constantly

Think otherwise

It isn’t as easy as one thinks

Being vulnerable

Exposed

Plus you’ll think I’m crazy

To dream of a world

With us together

When you barely know anything

About me

 

Still

I feel you could be happy

Why did you look so sad earlier?

Your face etched with disappointment

Defeat

Please

Know you are not alone

One day perhaps

I’ll tell you of my true feelings.

 

But

Before that happens

I need to know you know I exist

I’m here

I have been all this time

I need to

Know that you’ve laughed at me

Laughed with me

Shared a sideways glance

To know it’s not all in my fantasy

To for once feel like my visions, my heart

Are not getting ahead of reality

So when it comes time to tell you

I know it will be okay

 

One day everything will become clear

So for now I’m signing as the girl with

The hopeless fear