bisexual
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I met with her in a field of blooming wildflowers.
She stood there in her sky-blue dress
Amongst the sage,
And primrose,
Bluebonnet and paintbrush,
Dandelion,
And the tiniest white lilies.
You said forever
I guess you didn't mean it
You went for my best friend
What happened to loyalty?
She likes you too
It hurts but if you're happy leave
Go be with her, please do
Her eyes were blue
Like the oceans that I would cross
To be able to see her face again
Her hair was like silk
That was delicately spun
My girl had sparkly blue eyes
And told the most fantastic lies.
I sat, looking into her chest
As she put me through another one of her
Twisted tests.
She had me addicted
To her peppermint tongue,
I grew up being told I was beautiful.
Typical white beauty.
"Oh, you better watch out when you're older, the boys will be breaking down the door."
I grew up thinking I was beautiful,
I am lesbian, I am gay, I am bi, I am trans, I am straight. I am love, I am kindness, I am caring. I am more then my trauma. I am more than my abuse. I am more than my scars. I am what survival looks like. I am human.
For once I’m actually happy
Despite all the shit that happens,
She makes my day better
It doesn’t matter if my parents don’t “agree” with it
My dad and I butt heads all the time
typewriters and rainbows and there isn’t any rain here now
poetry and books and your hand finding mine
on the drive home
street light shooting stars
I sometimes wish I could still do
All the romantic things I used to back in the day
Sail away with the captors of my heart and start a new
A life without the chains I once had
He was born Sophia.
But it doesnt fit him, and that name is as dead as the flowers I have pressed in my journal.
Always there, a reminder, what I have to call hm in front of his mom.
Hey.
I'm Benz.
I changed my name when I was fifteen,
I'm many things.
Buddhist, retired emo, a little bit of a stoner.
I'm a little hipster,
a little grunge,
and little spacey,
She tucks her t-shirts into her skirt.
She died a streak of her hair in 4th grade.
She only played tag with others girls.
She won't tell her family she likes her,
she isn't afraid,
she just doen't need to.
"I wish someone would write about me like this."
"Someone does."
You didn't believe me but you were all I wrote of today.
My day was shit
Until you came up in conversation
And then I went on about you
My face lit up and I felt all sunny yellow inside
Even my cheeks went strawberry pink
Snakes are all around me.
And, it becomes harder to know who to trust.
I want a friend, but are you just using me?
You say you'll change for me and you are.
You hide behind pages withered with millenia of hatred
Each letter an excuse for you to say "I don't care if they hold hands,
Just don't do it front of my kids."
Day one
Religious
Dependent
Straight.
Youngest
Church is ok, would rather be somewhere else
“Baby’d” if you may
Day one
Religious
Dependent
Straight.
Youngest
Church is ok, would rather be somewhere else
“Baby’d” if you may
Who are we really when we are shut out of the world.
Not even allowed a bathroom break.
Why are we set aside and over looked.
Jobs, college acceptances, name changes.
Here we flutter, soar, and fly
Abuzz, for all to see, an iridescent sky
Our pride, with which we manage,
Asserting our presence, flags raised high,
On the water there
A petal breaks the silence, suddenly submerged lungs aching for breath,
alone,
more words tumble from the mouth.
Mirror, mirror,
As I speak to you
the petal finds a break
On the water there
A petal breaks the silence, suddenly submerged lungs aching for breath,
alone,
more words tumble from the mouth.
Mirror, mirror,
As I speak to you
the petal finds a break
Opening. Saying.
Will I regret I am doing next?
I can’t tell if I will lose her,
If she will see me in a light that has darkened
And turns me into something to be feared.
Dirty
Dirty, dirty words
How dare you speak them in my house
My home, His house
Who I am is not dirty
But let it be undefined, unspoken
I'm at a Frat party with my girlfriend, Louise. Midterms are finally over and we needed to find a way to destress.
At this point, I'm glad I came. The food tastes good, the music is great, and Louise?
You say they’re confused
They don't know what they want
They don't understand
And in order to put the world in order
"Have you ever dated a girl?"
He asked.
I wanted to tell him that
she grows flowers from her veins
I don't remember when I first heard the word
I don't remember when I first knew what it meant
I don't remember anyone telling me
sometimes i write Letters
Letters that will never be given
Letters that will never truly live
Letters that will be hidden
or perhaps just thrown away
Letters that will be read by no person but me
I see her walking
down the hallway
She doesn't see me
Or she does
but doesn't bother noticing
She's smiling
And she's laughing
And she's so
Happy
I wish I could be
To fall in love.To give your heart away.To share your passionsWith another All of these things are fantasies.Fantasies that are rapturous cords.Linked around my heart.How I have dreamed of sharing the jewels of my heart.With someone like me.Going
i think in poems
when i see you
four lines stanzas that all begin in
how beautiful you are…
and how cliché that is
in my metaphors
metronome heart
allegro to affrettando
pump
hair rises like furtive
ballerinas on strident
piano keys
Ethereal angel of ice and snow,
Against thy cheeks, the wind doth blow.
A zesty tang of winter spirits
Bid thee come to see and hear its
Melodies of gentle breeze, see
Spectacles of painted trees,
dear heart of mine,
why can’t you decide
who you do and do not like
why did it take you so long
to realize
She's my sunshine in the rain, quite figuratively when thinking back to that day
One of the first days I realized I loved her
She pranced like a child- or a reindeer I'm not sure which is cuter
I know you weren't built for me, but
Damn,
Can you give me a bone?
I was born with not one, not two, but three minority identifiers:
Black, female, bisexual.
Thank goodness I believe in the one,
Dear Mom and Dad,
Wish you knew how bad it hurts to keep something like this from you.
Wish you felt how I felt, the way my heart drops whenever you make a negative comment about someone just because of who they love.
August 23, 2017
Dear Mom,
Please read this entire letter through and don't skip around; read this before opening the email I sent you. Please keep an open mind. I love you!
there was a sun, there was a moon, each who ruled her hours sun, she satupon the clouds, moon, among the stars. "there is no light i can make",said the moon to her love.the sun shone bright,and nowat night,you can see her up above. halfway across
Welcome to the Closet.
Here you will discover the many wonderful things I cherish.
On multicolored hangers, an array of shirts and dresses are organized by
clothing type.
I am trapped in the closet,
Such a scary place,
With monsters around me,
About to bite my face.
I hold on for dear life,
Day after day,
Waiting, just waiting,
Will I fade away?
It’s not okay
You know, it’s just not
It’s not okay that I can’t just be me
You say that me is all I can be
But, then, tell me why I can’t be me when I’m with thee.
I think break-ups are so hard because
You’re not only severing yourself from the person
But from the symphony, and the sandwich shop
You used to go to before each show
Mother, she is light.
She bounces off tin-foil lakes, soothing tides.
She warms the back of my eyes every dawn.
She is a sunspot amongst freckles and stars.
She lets me look on beauty.
I fall in love with the way people live
The way people are
Their eyes and how they crinkle when they laugh
The way their hair falls in just the right place
The feeling of their arms around you
And so she walked away from herself
She put that part of herself in a box and buried it deep
She saw that part of her soul, kissed it, and walked away
You don't need to do this, she said
No, it’s fine! I replied. I want to, I said
Because I love you, I thought.
You don’t have to if it’s too much trouble, he said
Live in a world where religion is a parody of its own meaning.Where true love is called perversion,And a preference is classified as a sickness.Where our young are nothing but impressionable
I am thankful for queer history.
However hidden it has been.
I am thankful for the great artists and engineers of the Renaissance.
I am thankful for DaVinci and Michelangelo.
Girls like her were landmines.
She was so beautiful, yet so dangerous to look at
Like an eclipse, if you stared too long she'd ruin your eyes.
If I stared too long someone would notice
5/19/17
Blue
when I see you I act
if forever is this table and never is that spoon
does chicken noodle soup for the soul actually kill you?
if forever is this table
12/28/2016
As flesh clad together turn in my mind,
Something I’ve abstained from and so I find,
When I look in the mirror
I see a face rottiong away
I don't know who she is
But I know it's not who I am
What am I?
Who is she?
Why's this mirror always lying to me ?
Messy, Daylight, Fences
She learned to love her, yes she did
In those few minutes and few weeks
It wasn't love strain'd (maybe Shakespeare'd understand)
And it wsasn't love beow the belt
I am a lesbian.
I am a human.
I am alive.
I have feelings.
I do not hate men.
Men have not hurt me.
It's not a phase.
I can fall in love.
Odd as it seems, I don’t remember where I was.
I just remember my sister wanting to cuss
With Her,
Faces, names, places,
All the world spins past,
On a colorful carousel
Within grasp,
But She is next to me
I don't care for anyone else
She's here
They're not.
I haven’t told my family and friends about these feelings,
How I find girls more appealing.
I wish I was freewheeling
Because my heart is what she’s stealing.
My heart pounds when she’s near.
I don’t want to write about you anymore
I don’t want you to think that you are as
essential to me as
periods and lowercase letters or that
the structure of my life will
break down and decompose and
It's hard being in a closet.The hangers hit your head and you can't see past whatever clothes you have.But I think it's even harder being in THE closet.
Me,
Craving the flesh
Of sunset lavender
Tasting
Bruises from
Drunken collisions
Willow wheat hair
Anxiety and me
Go hand in hand with my sexuality and me
I am not straight
And I am not gay
I am somewhere in the in-between
girl is sensual,girl likes sitting on a washing machinewith her mascara mouth openchanting something she learned in a pop song.
I know that you are out there!
Please come and talk,
To a girl who feels all alone,
A girl that feels so lost.
I am bisexual,
Yes, we exist.
I am not hiding that I am gay,
The main character loves me, the smart side-kickThe thought is a balloon that continuously rises
I can’t live without
the first scent of the fall breeze.
I can’t live without
stomach aches from laughing so hard
with my best friend when we haven’t seen
each other in such a while.
"Wow, that's pretty brave.
Chancing on your mom walking in
On you shoving a dildo
Into your girlfriend."
The alarm screaming, burning eyes
After not once allowing my brain to dip into sleep
I used to think,Why should I even try?It’s hard when everyone around doesn’t see what going on inside your mind,They don’t see the pain, the hurt, or the struggle. At 3AM I lie awake, crying because of fear
Once- the kiss was okay,
We had just come back from the fair and I couldn’t resist his blue eyes,
Smirking grin staring like me like we were about to explore a whole new chapter
There is a girl
With eyes so bright
You forget that they're brown
There is a girl
So full of laughter
You forget all she's been through
There is a girl
So changed, so different
Holding silvers and golds into place on your neck,
Keeping notes and to-do lists on a refrigerator in check.
I am me
From my head
To my toes
I am the universe
But I am very small
I am my culture
But I am different
I am bisexual
But I am not confused
I am a friend
The first summer that I saw blood when I went to the bathroom was the first summer a boy slid his hand down my shirt, the first summer I learned my body did not belong to me, that I was either going to be powerful or property. I learned quickly
The longest journey
Is finding joy.
And it's hard to find
In one certain boy.
To use a cliche,
He's been through hell,
And things aren't going
To turn out well.
Everything is a trigger,
So much has happened during these last few months
Friendships have broken, Enemies have formed
Even my sexuality roamed.
I don't know what to say, really
Haters exist
Deserving my fist
It started with a book
All good things start with a book
I read the story that changed
my way of thinking
The way we are sheilded
In this "accepting" society.
Parents can’t always see the signs
When I was five
I liked my hair long and dresses and pink
That didn’t make me immune
To how beautiful I thought
The little dark-haired girl
I don't see her like you do
I don't take in to count
the size of her breasts
or if she has breasts at all
I don't take in to count
how short or
how long her hair is
or if she has hair at all
I don't take in to count
when i was eleven
i described something as being “so gay”
and my mother told me never
to use gay
as an insult
because i had two godfathers
and they were in love with each other
My eyes are sore
I imagine the red rims
where all the thoughts swim
and melt into a dream right before me
And ignore me, the very part that i've buried
with the ribbons and the bows and the fury
So you found out
Well, how do you feel?
Me?
I feel vulnerable
Anxious
Confused
Judged
Hurt
Angry
Destroyed
This was a side of me that you weren't ready for
Bisexual
You think the meaning is easy to grasp
But for some not so much
"Are you sure your bisexual?"
Yes I'm sure
"Really? I mean some girls do it for attention."
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
You will always see,
What you want me to be.
You can call me "she" instead of "he"
And you can call me by my birth name.
Did you know, that at one point in time,
Being gay was considered a disease?
That it was thought to be an illness?
Shocking, I know.
I refuse to be labelled a disease -
For as long as i can remember
I have always been attracted to females
But I had always been told that being attracted to the same-sex was
unnatural
wrong
a sin
just not right.
Thank you five,
thank you places—
don’t break curtain,
crack that imaginative fourth wall
where the boys must be chasing you;
aren’t they lining up at your door?
“We know”,
What are you?
Why cant you make up your mind?
Just pick one?
Why do i have to decide
Cant i just enjoy this time
we are taught that happines is in the
future and so we must suffer in the now
I don't think I'm flawlessI have never loved my bodyAnd I know I have a shitty personalityBut I do think I am flawless
Can you and I make love in the dark?
So I won't have to face reality
So my imagination can create the scene of what is instilled in me to be right.
Can you and I make love in the dark?
theres this thing out there called honesty
and i tried to do it once with this kid who turned out to be just another flea
seriously fuck rhyming im very angry about this
Round 1:
You ask your parents how they feel about gay people
"trash" "freaks" "sinners"
Dear God,
This is a letter from your queer daughter.
Wait, hold up did this girl just say queer?
"You are not a child of God!" Someone shouts!
Oh shut up! This is my letter.
Anyway you know I grew up in church
See my hands bound
so tight
Securely hidden
Behind my back
So I just sit here
and fight
You don't know how
it is to be gay
In an society
Where you have to
hide
Your love everyday
You don't know how
hard I try
To show you that
I envy those that shine in the light,
Those who aren't afraid to fight
for who they are.
For every time I think it's time,
For every time I say that this moment, this one is surely mine,
I Exist
Though you may try to find some sort of bubble to put me in
To maybe keep my unnaturalness from trying to infect you
To maybe make yourself feel better when you can "see past it"
To cut your own hair is the safest way to live dangerously
I want to dye it - pink, purple, blue
but change is like going into the forbidden forest or walking into mordor
Crystalize the memory & synchronize your chemical scheme, as the city underground travels through the blood stream
..of the young, the rich the old and poor..and the faces of the familiar across the crooked corridoors.
There once was a rose
Attactive and sweet
She reached to pluck the fragrant bud
Only to be pricked with it's thorns
Holding on so tightly of everything you know,
Only to find that you want to let it go,
What happens when all the hate and a taboo
Becomes Who you are,
What happens when What you love
Tears your family apart,
Scared
I'm scared to be myself
To show that who I love
Isn't "just a phase"
That it's okay to love someone
Someone of the same gender.
But that it's okay to also love
A face, they see, a smile so wide
A heart, they hear, beats strong inside.
But they do not know, they cannot see,
The troubles and darkness inside of me.
A girl, my age, lives so far away,
I can't get my words out because the constrictor in my throat is begging my silence to keep it company. Because they're bigger than me and their burns sting like the cigarettes they want me to be
So I stay silent
Choice is a conscious decisions
We choose what we wear
And what we say
And what we do
But Love is not a choice
Love is a feeling
Mysterious and dangerous
Silently screaming
They ask me if I'm confused?
They ask me if it's a phase?
They tell me it's a choice. That I wasn't born this way.
What is bi-sexuality?
How does it taste?
Is it like ice cream?
That I prefer both flavors of chocolate and vanilla?!!!
The soft sexy curves of a woman
The rock hard muscles of a man
A twisting lock of hair falls round your face
A shield of purple lacquer coats your nail
As desperately I need to know my place
I try and try and try to no avail.
Sitting on the red bench
The busted, rusted, nasty school bench
The place I used to go when the teacher had enough of me
What an ugly word
Benched.
Sitting on the red bench
I am gray
I fall in the middle of you all
The endless abyss of unaccepted
Hated by none? All? Some?
My eyes have been wide openSince as long as I can remember."Love" was a word, an action, an emotionThat was second nature to me.
Somedays I look down at this body,
I do not believe that it is mine,
My eyes are mine,
but every thing else seems as though I was so far away from it,
like a drunk man pulls on strings
My arms remember
The way she held me.
She kept me safe.
As safe as he ever made me feel.
My eyes remember
The tears I cried
When they told me I would go to hell.
Gay Rights, a word quickly slipping off American tongues,
breathing in deep gulps of air through
F*ck H8!
and the Human Rights Campaign.
White men, proud: they've been heard once more.
Young girls, mocked,
Others may just see a girl, beautiful and pure,
But the moments when I look at you, I see so much more.
For instance, I see shining stars dancing in your eyes,
Though if I called them beautiful, they'd simply roll on by.
#YOWO
And I loved a girl
with pain etched into her lips
and death written along her soul.
Art poured from her fingertips
and poetry was carved into
I’ve known I was a boy since I was three years old
It’s not only something I know
It’s something I feel deep into the crevasses of my soul
Most people don’t think twice of it
I wish I could tell you
about myself:
that I love the whole spectrum of gender
and that I feel so uncomfortable
in my own skin
that I want to peel it all away
and become new
To love a man, to love a girl...
What difference is there really?
Love, to me, is the same
In any language, in any shape
For any age,
For any person.
Love could maybe just be
a simple word
We,
The people of America, who fought for
Liberty, Freedom, and Equality,
Continue to live in a world full of discrimination.
“Are
You sure?”
Since when does my sexuality effect
Your well being,
Your family,
Your life.
Since when does anyone's sexuality effect
Your well being,
Your family,
Your life.
It's a matter of fact
My eyes are green
My makeup is black
My hair is blonde
And my thoughts are back
…………………………
My soul is blue
Her hair is short
And bitter sweet
Her eyes are red
She doesn’t sleep
………………………………………..
She lay awake
Here and there
Lip gloss on there lips
Toned body and curvy hips
They bend down
and i stare longer
than needed
I blush at my faux pas
All the things I coud do
to her
If you're a boy, I
Probably find you hot.
If you're a girl, I
Probably think you're cute.
Boy or girl, it doesn't
Matter to me. As long as you're
Nice and attractive, it's all good.
There's a light in my heart
And I want it to be voiced
Just because I am different, does it mean I don't have a choice?
Of who I love and who I don't
Do I have to be straight to be normal?
Everything is fantastic, euphoric even.People who've been there from the start surround you,Laughing, joking, smiling, even mum is bragging.“Yeah, I have the best daughters ever.”
Teacher, open your eyes!
You are feeding them all lies!
We are living in a society so enwrapped with gender,
I imagine myself becoming a bender.
Not only of rules, regulations, and taboo,
I've been raised in a world that dictates who you can love.
Not by the foundation of their character, but the structure of their bodies.
A point where I feel ashamed to mention that the girl walking past me is beautiful.
I feel your pain.
I know the hate.
I see the fate we're doomed to take.
The cruel words.
The harsh remarks.
I share your scars,
and broken hearts.
We join hands.
We stand tall.
What do I see?
A world filled with hatred.
I see a world were man can't be with man. They can't be seen holding hands.
I see a world with double standards because if you're a lesbian it's cool.
A poem by Alan Turing…
Title: Who is Worthy?
Who can dictate whether or not an individual is worthy?
Ignorant individuals view others based merely on their own journey.
Since the dawn of time, critisizm, judgment, and alienation has been happening. Racism and hate has been spread.
The piano hovers above and around me
The soft lilting music drifts into class
the notes hang heavy and the sound drowns me
out as the noise level shatters glass
Call me crazy to admit my past affiliations.
Call me insane to pursue my aspirations.
Shall I lose my sanity to issues of nonsence and dislocated tangents
As I search for everlasting fullfillment?
When I look into the mirror I see me. I don't see 6 colors or 6 women, just 6 of me. But then I realize what you see in me. You've colored me a rainbow and that blinds you from the real me.
I've searched my life’s peaks and hearts disappointments for gold, for money, power, fame. Drained, I can only see myself, in you.
Who I love should not define who
I am as a person.Why can you love her,
butI can’t?What evolutionary methods refuse to releaseme from this cycle.Where can I go for my rights
should not be a question.
Prop 8
You're so full of hate
You f*cked up a state
And forced us to wait
As bait for the courts
You seemed easy to kill
But not until bigots got their way
Trying to "Pray away the gay"
Segregation reformed by lips laced with loquacious words,
Promoting the definition of separated girls and segregated worlds.Diffusing through hierarchical halls, paneled with the predecessors of freedom;
I smile outwardly to you because I don't need your pity,
You see me as a happy, bubbly, and sparkling young woman.
Did you ever realize that beyond my smile my eyes are filled with stories I'll never say with my lips?
They lock you up
They take pieces of you
Inch by inch
Try to force you
Into silence
Into willful captivity
Caged birds cannot fly
But they can still sing
Do not let your song be silenced
I have a voice;
Strong and loud.
Can make people listen,
People in the crowd.
I know right from wrong;
I'm not sitting in a cloud.
I'll scream till you hear me;
Scream really loud!
I like this guy, I like him a lot
in fact he already holds a place in my heart.
I wonder and ponder what he thinks of me
in the end it is me he doesn’t see.
So I wait by the shore
hoping someday he'd want more.
I look back at the few years in my life and I imagine what it would have been like to NOT have gone through what I did to become the person I am today.
Mistreated.
Abused.
Love is love
“Gender doesn’t define love.”
Why is it people judge what they don’t understand?
Homo, faggot, dyke, queer!
Out of all the pain we mostly hold in fear.
We endure and we take all we can.
I rather be called handsome than beautiful
I rather be called he than she
And i rather you say his than hers
Not miss but sir
you don't know how it feels
How it feels to feel this hurt
There are people under the steeple
Who can’t keep their eyes off the peep-hole.
Why are their minds so weak and feeble?
It’s misunderstood, so deem it evil.
Mr. Man sits in Congress so regal,
I want to be the smile that spreads across your face.
I want to be the one that no one can replace.
I want to be your dreams when your sleeping alone at night.
It doesn't matter if they think it's wrong or right.
