sometimes i write Letters

Letters that will never be given

Letters that will never truly live

Letters that will be hidden

or perhaps just thrown away

 

Letters that will be read by no person but me

Letters that say everything i can never say

Letters that contain words i wish i could scream

 

Letters i wish i could give to her

in my Letters i tell her 

how she is killing me by existing

but i can't live without her

 

and my Letters tell her how

i see her and my heart doesn't stop when she smiles but

it flies

and for one scampering second i think

i'm alright because she is

 

and my Letters tell her how 

i see her when she's sad

i can barely think because

i will do anything to make her smile again

 

and my Letters tell her how

i see her friends

the diamond and the defender

and i wish i could be them because

she looks at them and smiles but

when she looks at me she sees

nothing

 

and my Letters tell her how

beatifulbeautifulbeautiful

she is

 

and my Letters tell her how

i wish i could give her

my Letters

 

and my Letters

die

or maybe they never live at all

because when they are written

they crumpled or

ripped or

shredded or

covered up

because i will never tell her

anything i have written

in my Letters