On Break-ups
I think break-ups are so hard because
You’re not only severing yourself from the person
But from the symphony, and the sandwich shop
You used to go to before each show
You don’t just lose the sleepy good mornings
With soft words, sloppy movement and
“Don’t forget your jackets”
But you also have to let go of
57 songs-you counted-and everything cherry flavored
-even soda, but especially chapstick because it will taste like her
You feel you are so prepared
To break up with the intensity of loving someone
Who is so cautious with losing control
That she’s outrageously reckless with you
But be careful, dear because you’re also breaking up
With scrabble because it will remind you of how
She used to leave you secret messages around the house
Goodbye means goodbye to long drives where you argue
About directions but fall in love
with every song she sings to on the radio
It doesn’t stop at farewell to someone who knows what you’re saying
When you’re silent and has held back your hair enough times
To know you’re going to puke before your stomach even starts churning
But it takes halloween and even fights for painting
But you held onto that with a clenched fist because
You remembered yourself
And you remembered you loved painting
Even before you loved her
And then you remember
That she only knew you in your silence because her fear put you there
And you don’t even like cherry soda
So you start ordering raspberry again
And it tastes so good
It tastes like you
So when a boy asks you to the symphony, you go
And even though the seats still feel like a lifetime
Of your deepest wishes for forever
The hand you’re holding is something new
Someone who may be at reckless abandon with his fear
But is careful to be kind to you (even when you give him the wrong directions)
And in the morning when he wakes you up gently
To ask you if you want to play scrabble with his family tonight
You say yes because
He uses cherry chapstick
But brings vanilla for you