On Break-ups

I think break-ups are so hard because

You’re not only severing yourself from the person

But from the symphony, and the sandwich shop

You used to go to before each show

You don’t just lose the sleepy good mornings

With soft words, sloppy movement and

“Don’t forget your jackets”

But you also have to let go of

57 songs-you counted-and everything cherry flavored

-even soda, but especially chapstick because it will taste like her

You feel you are so prepared

To break up with the intensity of loving someone

Who is so cautious with losing control

That she’s outrageously reckless with you

But be careful, dear because you’re also breaking up

With scrabble because it will remind you of how

She used to leave you secret messages around the house

Goodbye  means goodbye to long drives where you argue

About directions but fall in love

with every song she sings to on the radio

It doesn’t stop at farewell to someone who knows what you’re saying

When you’re silent and has held back your hair enough times

To know you’re going to puke before your stomach even starts churning

But it takes halloween and even fights for painting

But you held onto that with a clenched fist because

You remembered yourself

And you remembered you loved painting

Even before you loved her

And then you remember

That she only knew you in your silence because her fear put you there

And you don’t even like cherry soda

So you start ordering raspberry again

And it tastes so good

It tastes like you

So when a boy asks you to the symphony, you go

And even though the seats still feel like a lifetime

Of your deepest wishes for forever

The hand you’re holding is something new

Someone who may be at reckless abandon with his fear

But is careful to be kind to you (even when you give him the wrong directions)

And in the morning when he wakes you up gently

To ask you if you want to play scrabble with his family tonight

You say yes because

He uses cherry chapstick

But brings vanilla for you


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