fighting
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Laying here in bed
Feeling emotionally unavailable
An explosion in my head
Tired of fighting for everyone
If I don't, they may leave
Or found dead
I'm the fixer
I need the fixing
Mixed feelings
I found a flower on the ground today. It was purple- an artist would go as far as to call it lilacand I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Revolving door, I guess I’ve come back for more of course.
Spirit numb and heart can’t take much more.
Only takes a smallest of gestures to have me banging on your door.
Begging, pleading for just a little more.
Her cracked fingernails
Are now covered in a fresh varnish
That shimmers
Like a clouded jewel freshly polished.
Her bloodied lips
Before we get started, just a quick note. This is about the American Revolution, told in poem form by a insane Loyalist woman in England.
Death came to them and said
"Look at me children"
And they refused to look
So they were reaped with the harvest
Death came to them and said
"Look at me children"
And they looked upon him
I see your guilt through tired eyes,
Two bloodshot victims of countless nights
Expressing dejection in bitter solitude.
I smell your fear through a raw nose,
Hidden
Friends, old and new join together,
forming an odd kind of family.
Drunken men make moves and women
refuse until the morning.
A gifted talent no one's found
Watching a TV with no sound
Eating chips that crack too loud
No verbal contact, I'm too profound
To hide behind your lies and hold truth
You're subtle but I have no proof
You can't hear me
You can't see me
You can't feel me
You have given birth to me
But you ignore me
I am alive!
Not your dearly departed
And yet still to you I am a failure, forever imperfect
Teeth came in, screaming came out
As a child finding my voice came with fees
Every chance I got to fight I would shout
My mother made me get down on my knees
Press start to begin
Fighter thrown into battle
Decked out in armor
It is just a game
It’s a game you want to win
Excited, you run
I fight an inner battle
Time and time again.
And though I don't give up fighting,
I fear one day they'll win.
For they have strong armies
And are growing stronger yet,
And I feel I'm growing weaker
Arid remarks
Shrugged-off side glances
Painted with painful disdains
Torment and colorful disgust
Intrinsically defined by nothing but
Side comments and catcalls—
Little girl.
We've been down this road before.
Each time it hurts a little more.
I really don't know WHAT you want from me.
When we are doing good, WHY won't you let it be?
I KNOW that you love me, don't say that you don't...
I'm not right in my mind
I'm really out of my mind
Thinking some crazy thoughts
Some about suicide
I don't know what to think
Much Less what to say
So I keep to myself
I have been told that to be loved,
I must be:
Clean.
Unscarred.
Perfect.
I hear these words inside my head.
Should have known you were lying through your teeth
when you said "best friends means forever."
You know, I can say it'll never get better-
and I can never remember
why we even enjoyed each other's
You and I haven't said a word to each other in ages
the last time I heard your voice was seven years ago.
So how come I still remember the story you told me
about the night your dad left,
IT GETS BETTER.
It seems like such a cliche.
Honestly, I know how it sounds,
and how those words make you feel:
annoyed, devalued, misunderstood.
It seems like a lie,
it feels impossible,
This is the Climax.
The fight before the fall.
The storm after the calm.
Where the demons of regret,
And anger,
Rule all.
And so the shot went off,
The ringing in my head
When will this nightmare stop?
My friends, all left for dead
To my before me,
I miss you terribly
The naivety you had
the light that bestowed upon your eyes
I want to be part of something better,
sail skies to unknown paradise
while finding love in bones
I call my own.
Dear My Future Ex,
I'm tired of all the lying and the cheating,
Our alliance suffers from treason,
Whenever we talk, we're fire breathing,
Only time we aren't fighting, is when we're eating,
Hello Lou,
how are you?
Are currently down,
are you feeling blue?
Are you counting the stars,
searching for love,
and aproval for the person that you are?
Are you waiting for hope,
Fight it,
Come on,
Fight it,
I'm better than this,
Softly addictions whisper to me,
Late at night when I'm all alone,
But I'm tired of giving in,
I'm tired of abusing myself,
Dear you,
If you haven't heard it today
I believe in you,
even though we've never met.
I believe in you because I know it is hard
to believe in yourself,
I hate you,
but
It's because I love you
Wake him up with a “hey sweetie”, “Hello darling”
Breakfast in bed for him today followed by
How is it that I am still alive?
How is it that today I am awake
and maintaining hope that things will get better
when I can feel myself spiraling out of control?
There have been days...
A Civil War,No, not of ,GunsSwordsAnd Cannons.But of Words,SpitAnd tearsA harsh ink splatteredOnEveryPageOfwhat was calledA holy place.
What do we do?
When all we see,
is just fighting,
in the land of the free?
an elephant wants this,
yet the donkey wants that,
yet speak of compromise
you'll be laughed at
from the steps of lewis and clark
to the marches of those fighting
war of 1812,
mexican american 1846
civil war 1861
the boats of immigrants wanting better life
America the Brave
America the tarnished
Amerca the ignorant
America the lost
Lost.
Fight for freedom?
Fight for equality?
Fight for Love?
America the land of free
Freedom is what promised
A melting pot of people
Yet we are setting limits on who is welcome
Based of religion
We let are fear control
Not so welcoming any more
I once was able to breathe
To see the world
To go outside and smile
Now I pray to stop
To close my eyes
And stay in my room and suffer
The healing is slow
But I try
And the war rages on…
The men line the field, standing as straight as a tree
They stretch, on forever, as far as the eye can see.
Overconfident and unstructured,
Never having been pushed to my limit,
Thinking about my potential future,
And all that came with it.
On the rocks within a course in which I had it all,
There's nobility in a lost cause,
Lost at sea with no raft, no way out,
But fighting the waves without a second pause.
Wind gushes all about, wood's groaning like a pig snout.
Just keep my mind inside my head
We’ll be us both inside my bed
I’ve got to keep my life instead
Of staying in my lonely head
That Girl
I’m the girl with the sunny side smile
The girl with the head thrown back laughing.
I’m the girl with the fake identity
The girl with the plastered on grin.
Lost in the feeling of freedom and joy,
Not believing I could loose it all,
But who would be so ignorant to risk and choose to fall,
I'm silent while I watch them brawl,
Over stupid things like hats or who's tall,
I took the pen where words failed me
I had no sword to fight,
The dragons that had besieged me
From day to my very first night
I wrote to silence screaming
And bid demons stay away
The smell of blood invades my nose every morning around dawn
and we were not woken up quietly.
My eyes opened wide to the sounds of screams penetrating my eardrums.
In the abyss
a crevice of black
I curl my neck
ready to attack
With inked rapiers
in my claws
I slash and stab
hoping for renewal
Half awake
my sore back sprouts
We never had a real homeBut one day master came along and took us inIt wasn't a kind homeWe were beatenYelled atAnd made to fightWe had to obey every single commandWithout flaw
When the raging battle seeks to steal my joy,
My tears trickle down my face.
That's when I like to employ,
My unbeatable fighting Ace.
I lay down the Truth,
Let the lies flee.
Another smile, another tear,
Another kiss, a lot more fear,
Another hit, nothing is clear,
Another memory that will last for years.
Another heart that has been broken,
Another wound that has been opened,
I am a tight rope walkerarms out, muscles tense, fighting gravitycrowds gather to watch my fall
I am a ship in a bottle trapped behind a wall of glassyearning for a sea I was not made for
took control
it took it's toll
on you and everyone around
with bloody fists you pound
if you could only pick one
the blunted blade or the one shot gun
fast paced pain
or slowly dying
if i picked either
i'd be surely lying
for this bitter poison that we've brewed
What's the point of a thought if all you do is yell?
I can't even hear myself think
I don't like the song the cupboards make
Can you stop making life sound like hell?
You were once so beautiful,
We were once so close
But this is not who i once loved
And is instead a tortured ghost
Just a shell that's been cracked
And on the verge of perish
The clash of two night blades sounds over the echoes of the abyss that surrounds them, through the cornea and to the stem, off of the lobes and down the dopamine streams ferverently running these two beings collide, rallying cries can be heard fro
She's afraid to come to school
because she's treated so cruel
Nothing ever seems right when she's there
how can all of this be fair?
She won't take her life because of them
instead she'll fight for her life
What am I
I am free
I am strong
and I am me
I have let my burdens slip away
through my written words
They flew away on swift wings
taken by the flock of birds
A seventeen years fight.
With me, myself, and I.
A seventeen years match.
When will it end?
A seventeen years battle.
When will I gain the upper hand?
A seventeen years combat.
The whole room shook as the music took over
as the figure got up on the stage
and let the music take her body under.
She danced in a way,
that intoxicated all
as she flipped her head,
One early morning on the court
There were five teens
Who could not agree on a sport
One wanted tennis
So he brought his racket
But the others were being such a menace
I began on a rainy, cold fall night.
I was an ‘accident.’
The shaking hands and rage encompassed shock of my mother.
The free money and sedentary existence of my father.
The tight grip of insanity spreads through my mind,
stealing everything that once kept me living.
The soft ring of a baby's laughter,
a smile the lips were always after.
A miracle one heart beats,
Life is a warzone
An enemy at every side
No one can deny
That this is life
But in this war I find excitement
It’s wonderful
Yet people think I’m crazy
Messed up
That is the first word that comes to mind
When I think of myself
My parents are divorced
My father is never around unless it benefits him
My mother cares for me as much as any loving mother could
Weeks on end this fog has not lifted
It blurs my vision and
my mind's nerves are racing
crashing, connecting, circling
tangling itself with this dense fog.
Today, the skies are gloomy
There's a burning in my chest
And I can't tell whether my heart is on fire, set alight by the rush of energy transferred when he placed his hand on mine for the last time
Do not try to invade my thoughts;
my cross is too heavy to bear...
Just listen when I need to express them,
& I will make you fully aware!
Ill let you into my life, and all to me that is real;
I will open up my heart and tell you how I...
Why can't we get along?
Brothers
Sisters
Mothers
Fathers
We're a family
On a big planet
We all matter
Why not get along?
Why can't we get along?
Blacks
There ain’t nothing stronger than a broken back,
Except crooked teeth in a cracked smile.
The hardest fights are the ones simply lost,
Violently fought,
Which bring death for a while.
Cancer is scary,
Cancer is frightening,
but don't worry child,
Because I know you won't stop fighting,
Don't look now, child
The world has gone to war
They don't care that you're just a child
To them, you're one soldier more.
-
Those aren't gunshots you hear now
Those aren't dying screams
Continue on Your Journey
This journey is indeed hard,
There are days when the tears rush down my face
And people ask me: Will you cry me a river ?
When God Speaks you better listen. I’m hardheaded as shit. In one ear out the other type. I don’t wanna hear nothing no one or anyone has to say because I think I know everything.
My funeral was empty, my gravestone was bare
The flowers that were meant for my mourning, were never there
With every sip of you, I swallowed too much
I sank in your sadness, I drowned in your love
and with every bottle, I became overwhelmed
Growing up you took care of me no matter how bad i was
you gave me food and a roof and a mothers love
from hugs and kisses to beatings and punishment
i laugh so much when i think of all of it
She looks at it.
It looks at her.
Like looking in a mirror.
Nature vs. Nurture.
She reclines her seat
As she watches the breeze
Whisk around the palms
And give ache in her feet.
I get into the car and you begin to drive
The only thing we share on our journey is
Silence
It smothers our words
Chokes our voices
Louder than anything that could be spoken
I beg the question:
What are we fighting for?
By this,
I don’t aim to challenge the conventions of English grammar.
Instead,
I aim to challenge the conventions of human thinkers.
When I was a young child
I was abused.
I won't say which way,
how or even why I think it happened to me,
but it did.
My mother would tell me how
beautiful she was and how
Have you ever,
Taken a step back for the gratitude of your own work.
Taken a step back,
For the appreciation of the piers.
For a wider look on the world,
A look that digs underneath false notifications.
Fresh flesh bleeds upon the ancient grounds of history
Flesh that isn't our own
Those chunks of human life belong to our brothers and sisters born to delete the wrong doings of war sickened people.
They fight.
You slap me, hit me, and rape me like a hound.
Do you think I am your toy? Am I your pet you can treat in any manner you wish?
You put me to run around the fields in the snow, the heat, and the thunderstorms.
carry on through the rain
when the storm doesn't cease to pound
ravenously on your bare back in the middle
of nowhere
carry your head high
when ropes from hell tie themselves to your chin
Small, shy and scared of the world
You were teased, humiliated, embarrassed
No one stood up for you, they just laughed along
With a bruised tear stained face you go home, crying yourself to sleep.
one two three
around a table
cups of tea
untouched, going cold
tear-stained eyes
stare off at nothing
faces red
and bodies shaking
memories
their parents making
YOU CAN BECOME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE
BUT WHEN PEOPLE DOUBTING YOU AND STRESS TAKING A TOLL ON YOU
IT'S HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. WHERE IM FROM GIRLS DON'T GRADUATE
When I come to the end of my journey
And I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned,
And remember only the smile.
Forget unkind words I have spoken;
Hey Mr. Principal,
Hey Mr. Smith,
I hope you sit comfortably –
On your plush office plinth,
With all your private accolades –
That no one could care about,
To the varsity trophies –
Things were a lot better when we were fighting the world and not each other. Things were a lot better when we worked together and not apart. Things were a lot better when you were my Superman instead of my Kryptonite.
This world
Governments rule over the people
People lose faith in the power
They lose faith in themselves
Someone rises up from the fallen
And leads the people
Fighting for peace and freedom
This is why we fight all of the time:
You and I, we're the same
Stubborn, foolish, a little selfish
But most importantly, we both need to be right.
All. Of. The. Time.
That moment when you want to cry, but you're somewhere you cant
You want someone to help, but no one is there
You don't know what to do
All hope is gone
I think that you should know
I am in that sort of mindset
That if you say something that offends me
I'm going to be real open with you
And not let it eat me inside
but shove it down your throat and
I slammed the door like a gunshot
It echoed through the house
And I hope it even woke up my dad except it was his birthday
I'll only be satisfied if Mom comes up the stairs and
You're not really sick!
You just want attention!
You just want to be treated differently!
That's what they cry
Their words becoming sticks and stones
That break my soul, mind, and bones
Darkness.
I fancy myself as one who knows darkness.
Not that darkness is something wonderful to know,
In fact, it comes like a thief in the night and steals.
Bags under her eyes, but ever alert
Sleep was a luxury she can't afford.
Always moving and never staying long
Trying to look to the future,
but the darkness of the past blocks her way.
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When you look at me, tell me what you see.
Do you see me, or are you simply focusing on vanity?
Shakespeare once said that all the world’s a stage,
If only he could see how he prophesized this world of today
Willingly time is not ending, Separated are the hallow gaps of evergreen trees, A thin line of mutual grace, at the face of an abandoned cliff. Stands the breath of a lone wolf, calling to the premature night sky,
In the end
It's you and me
working hard
against the odds
It's you and me
together, forever
against the odds
hand in hand
Together, forever
you remember, right?
When you see light breaking through the trees;
When you see hope among the distance leaves;
When you see a smile that never fades;
When you see stars in the darkest shades;
To me, poetry used to be nothing but words
Delicate words strung together,
Line after line, squished into stanzas.
It wasn't until 8th grade
That I learned otherwise.
Poetry is powerful;
Sweat pours down bodies in streams,
Blood is caked between the toes of feet,
Of the men chosen for honor redeemed.
Swords doused in red ink,
Shields reflecting the suns gleam,
Cry out your call,
The algae, the moss, and the mud.
While they could never understand the chemical reactions going on inside our heads,
They remain ever accepting of our presence.
I’m waiting for the day I will wake up
Eyes open, glazed over, seeing blindly
Touching, but not feeling, encased in fine glass
Dreaming and waiting for something unknown
Desolate and blank canvas of a mind
What do I stand for?
I dont know anymore.
I used to stand for family.
but It fell before me.
then I stood for hope.
Yeah, that was a joke.
Next came my parents happiness.
That was my weakness.
We all know that feeling
That feeling we use for excitement and adventure
That feeling we have when we take first steps
That feeling we have when looking into the future
It's a scared four letter word
The types of diversity include race, religion, gender, age, ethic group, cultural, nationality, sexual orientation, social class, geographic region, and physical challenges.
Things are changing.
It's become hard to maintain,
the connections we once made
to the people we sent are previous years with.
We will always remember the way that we felt.
Dear The Ones Who Keep Hurting Me
See, what I don’t need you to sit there like you already know me
Don’t look me up and down like that right there, that look you just gave me
The shit I go through
We question the gifts that we are given
not realizing the lives that are taken
because of our greed and the seeds that we plant in the minds of our seeds and the hearts of our souls.
Who are we to question Gods plan?
Shells bursting is the only din.
The dirt launched up from the moist ground.
My vision is blinded by the light.
I must withstand. Even despite
The fact that I cannot be found.
being aggressive with fists
do not dismiss
the definition of which i hint
is to throw hands
now i do not demand
that you get in a tussle with another man
unless he is not a fan
THE DEFINITION OF A PUPPET IS NOT THE MEANING OF ME, YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN PULL MY STRINGS AND MAKE ME DANCE AS YOU PLEASE, I'M A HUMAN-BEING WITH FEELINGS AND YOU JUST CANT SEE, ITS ALL SAID AND DONE NOW THAT'S THAT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIND A PUPP
I woke up that day
I saw something new
It was that perfect yawn
From a great sleep
I never thought to have
I was inducted
It was exclusive
I had something special
That made me special
There has been times since I've been young
I wanted to give up because I just couldn't go on
Seen a lot of things I really shouldn't
Wanted to run but I reall couldn't
I write because
Actions can never completely suffice.
We are to control ourselves
But there is a war raging within me.
In the dead of the night,
The wolf pranced through the trees
His jaws were clamped
While his body weaved
The wolf was a brute
With a thirst to fight.
As the first opponent took his place
One day I found
Poetry needed no rhymes
So unlike,
when the piano clunked,
when my sobs sogged keys,
when my fingers clumsily blundered,
The keys I was taught to play
Displeasing Mother’s ears
Bring out the blades, we're ready to go
in the night, in the day, in the storm
the enemy is all around, his darkness masked as light
you'll see him only if you look,
just like the Father, bright
I'm twisted twisted up inside
drowning in this love for you
the knot in my throat
only worse with every fleeting moment
Subjugated to emotional heights,
My frail pre-teen mind succumbed to the sweet,
underlying comfort a typewriter provides.
I could throw my heart at something,
without it being ripped to shreds,
I fight and fight
I look for help
And I seek an answer
I'm fighting
I'm scratching
I'm looking for a sign
I'm trying to find a way out
A way out of this big world they call my conscience
Spinning Spinning Spinning
Each memory, each moment, each thought is connected by a strand of consciousness
The image blurs together as time stands still.
Sounds become mute and feelings become numb.
Like the dust I am unsettled,
moving swiftly without destination,
my origin is forgotten,
my future is unknown,
carried by the wind,
i am forever alone.
At night I live
a grimy life
of slander
and despair.
At night I do
my dirty deeds
with grins
and open arms.
At night I keep
inside my sheets
and dream
of worse to come.
The silence is screaming. It’s an invisible fog clouding my judgment and burning my eyes with its icy touch. It’s so dense that I can’t breath without it expanding in my throat; a fog so solid that it chokes my airway with its endless emptiness.
I'm alone no one to comfort me nor to help me
But forsake me like it's their god given right
This loneliness is dementing me.
I speak not of the demons veiled behind every corner.
They wait until it's dark
Until I have thought myself into a mad frenzy
Then they show me the past.
What I did
Blending together, they are.
Like reflections on water.
Memories, like a cookie jar.
These thoughts they slaughter.
Grim looks upon their faces
These people stray to the strangest places
Leaving nothing but misery in their wake
People dying of heart ache, peace to their sake
I'm no longer a kid.
I've matured mom, yes I did.
You keep me locked up,
And I'm getting really fed up.
It's nine o'clock and you're telling me togoto sleep.
The lack of concentration the pain, we fight the struggle of staying educated. The tears in my eyes drop from lack confidence but A lot of faith to keep going. Yet I fight the disabilty and the pain of people words.
They Say
They say we're doing something don't they?
In the news, on the radio
They Say our country needs us
right? right?
I've been dried in a desert of tan
Silence so loud.
Silence so cold.
I've never felt so alone.
You can't see it
you can't hear it
But its the thing we all fear.
Hope is lost.
Never found.
for now.
Like lights in the sky,
My future glows:
Brighter and brighter,
A lantern coming ever closer.
The days go by
Like flickering flames,
Changing direction
As the wind blows.
The undertow pulls.
Hard to fight,
Harder to see.
Invisible.
Strong.
Once caught,
Impossible to fight
Everything crashing above us.
No light to see above.
The sun?
A blur.
The Screaming
The Fighting
The Pain
Where do I go?
What do I do?
Run? Fight? Pray?
Run to clear my mind.
Fight for what I believe in.
Pray to God that everything will be okay.
(poems go here) im always wandering
pondering about where i wanna go and where i want to be
im so scared that my wandering will equal squandering
my goals are always so clear yet far from me
Turn out those lights and darken this room.
The temperature's down, it feels like a tomb.
Breath coming ragid and heart beating fast.
Waiting for this attack to finally pass.
Shutting my eyes to block out my mind.
I keep fighting these battles
With ending in sight
Hoping that someday it'll all end
I keep fighting these battles
Thinking it'll change everything
That things will get better
Born from body
Raised by blood
Weak die
Strong live
Young train
No love
No weakness tolerated
Taught to fight
Taught to kill
Whips sting
Steal to live and eat
War cry calls
A story about my Uncle Sam who doesn't seem to get enough money, and it's hurting every single person out there.
A droplet drips down
Ruby red and perfect
Falling from the wound
Of the fallen man
Lifting his head
He tries to stand
But, alas, he can't
He is a fallen man
A river runs red
Blood soaks into the ground
Aided by the rain
Corpses litter the field
Bodies with faces
Life lights their eyes no more
What's that young man's name?
No one is sure
My Dear Love,
I don't mean to be crude
But I feel it my duty
To tell my story to you
If you could be so bold
To not shed a tear
I will be in your heart always
Fighting with your fears
We live in power
Human beings united.
Advocates of anti-bullying
The power behind great action.
We are strong in out fights,
Even when all looks bleak.
Camaraderie our shield
Left Unsaid
There have been some words,
that have been left unsaid.
All, of which, have been bothering me,
So darling, let's put these problems to bed.