survival
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In silence
I hear music
melancholy melodies
washing gracefully
through ancient corridors,
waves of rhythm
drifting across
gently rolling green.
What I Am inside Me got us thru year '20, houseless & sent to street Life. No matter the darkness We ran from. We let the past go, to know We made it. Free to Live in Lightness.
The effort was just
Result assured
They were there for me, didn't know I was a nut
all would have understood
250 I took, it went on so long
I'll teach them all
Rain sits upon the Autumn leaves,Is wet, cool, and gives gentle breeze.That new life dawns just over the hillWhen April again brings forth fresh drizzle.
Forget the world we live infor it will never be life as we perceive it to be.seemingly, we’re just here,attempting to live lifeunder the rule of different pagan societies.
With my eyesi can see the globe turnin’you can tell, from inside my eyeswhether or not i’m lyin’
The new year eve is the time for a celebration
This year though there are more reasons to do it
The year that's about to go was no less memorable
The world was forced to wage a battle against a virus
Destroying a Rainforest for Economic Gain
Destroying a rainforest for economic gain
And torching a Picasso to heat food are the same
Destroying a rainforest for economic gain
And torching a Picasso to heat food are the same
Make no mistake if you don’t heed what I say
There are farmers of many kinds and types
A teacher that implants the seed of knowledge
In the impressionable minds of his students
Helping to grow them into fine human beings
Religion,
tradition
teach selflessness
while pschology,
common sense
celebrate the self.
And a lifetime is spent
teetering in the middle
trying for a happy medium
be gracious
Imagine
you live
in a land
devoid of
freedom
and that
human rights
are merely
a dream.
Imagine
too,
that
you could be
taken
into custody
without reason
You know, when you’re drowning, you don’t actually inhale until right before you black out.
The instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won’t open your mouth until you feel like your head’s exploding.
I can see you lurking in the darkness, I can hear your voice in my head, I've felt the tear drops as they've fallen due to the horrible things
Speckled shadows on my collarbonesWhere your greedy hands wrote your name,Where my selfish whispers angered you,My desperate pleas denied youThe prize buried deeply in my chest
My mind is a battlefield
It has trouble distinguishing danger from safety
It makes rain on a tin roof sound like gun fire
Makes fireworks on the Fourth of July into an air raid
Fire under my skin
Climbing up my legs
My spine
My arms
Glowing coals of hate
Incendiary suffering
Deep inside my bones
It all started years ago
When I decided that I had to let go of my old life
And leave the world of strife
I had to let my life escape me
I had to be free.
Self Portrait as the Weeping Willow
Reservoir in my eyes,
current of my heart,
snapped the twigs of
my veins.
The fear, I feel. From
My head to my toes.
She wore her heart on her shoulder. Playing her part as a mother. Betrothed to herself in a world unsettled. Married to a ghost. Creating magic from each step she took. She worked to her peak of new life. And loved a lamb in her womb.
Do you know what it is like to be afraid of everything?
Terrified of what has been,
terrified of what's to come.
I'm afraid of my own passing shadow,
when I turn and when I walk.
I'm afraid of myself.
Whose abusive mother is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite sad though.
It really is a tale of woe,
I watch her frown. I cry hello.
Iram, Lost Iram
Lost, alone, and wandered scars
Scrutinizing time
Thunders rise and soon take flight
Tinted skies with essence sighs
words scribbled across the page in an desparate manner
as if the writer might just burst if they can’t release this
display of a broken heart.
a melody sings its song to a crowd of invisible listeners
tonight i put down the razor
and picked up a ballpoint pen
i learned to etch my pain onto paper
instead of engraving the words into my skin
i will write in letters of black ink
Embark on a journey to nowhere
and find it easily.
Now look up the side of a mountain and be blinded
"Rage Rage against the dying of the light"-Dylan Thomas.
I covered my eyes and was brought to a familiar dark sky.
Sometimes I want to be dead,
But usually, I don't.
After all, it's all in my head,
So, of course, I certainly won't.
But I don't want to be alive,
At least not alive like this.
Dear Future me,
At the age of 16 I was stabbed in my lung
Where Im from most die by the gun
Laying in the hospital for 2 weeks, I could barely sleep
My life flashes before my eyes as my rem begins to peak
Dear Refa,
You will not win. There's not much more to say.
The distance from home, the ice and storms - HA! I survived anyway.
You decided to step it up and violate me personally.
They said you died in the war that wasn't yours.
They said you fought a fight you didn't start.
They said you fought hard not to fight
They had a Life full of Fun, neighbours and Family;
Disaster struck and tore it all apart leaving them Funny;
where use to be home is now pile of sand, stones and nothing...
Dear Love,
I never thought,
That I could be visited by you,
For many times I was scorned,
The hope that I could feel your warmth,
Had faded in the storms,
But the light of the sweet embrace,
wings flapping in the windhairs standing on their end crows calling to offendtheir life can no longer mend.she dreamed of nothing sweetthey could no longer meetshe watched her girl get beatthey failed to be discreet .screaming shouting hatingno lo
Love is a term, that harbors an array of connotation. To some, "love" is the black eye they received from "falling into the door knob" of a situation that intensified quicker than they could dodge.
I could be just like you
Never happy
Burying myself in the color blue
Everywhere I look it's blue
Except the sky
Which is filled with a thick gray
Or I could be me
I used to stay up late at night worrying about grades.
Thinking about my future and how it would kill me.
Thinking about my past and how I could've bettered it.
Let me live. Let me breathe.
Let me my claws unsheathe.
Free me from vines. Free me from tracks.
my body might not be strong enough to be a shield
but my mind is undeniably a sword
my voice summons me to the forefront
and the world is my battlefield—
Twenty one point three.
Twenty one point three million.
Twenty one point three million refugees
Half of which aren’t even eighteen,
Forced from home simply because,
I'm a survivor.
I escaped the emptiness inside me;
The ghost that's behind me,
The one that despises me.
When he tries to devour me
I make him shiver;
Keep going.
I dare you.
But I can't fool you.
My children will starve
And be excited to see trees
At the rate
That everything is disappearing.
Prepare for fishless oceans
Did someone put me here to live
or did they put me here to survive
I live around people that don't have morals
but know the means of surviving
many of them strive to do good
My battles are not won
through soldiers.
I, rather, battle what
cannot be seen.
The war is ugly, brutal.
Wasn’t it just night outside?
I can feel the sun.
Somehow I find myself again
splayed on the couch
SVU still muted on the screen.
Every morning starts like this,
in blurred disarray
Faith.
It sounds so simple.
A cliche some might say.
But to me,
Losing my faith would be as if I lost my sanity.
My faith in God is a necessity.
Without it, life would mean nothing.
Where roses meet asphaltWither. Rot. Mold. Asphyxiate.Here lie collapsed towersHeat. Lost. Combustion. Timber.Angels fallen trumpet loudAshes. Feathers. Triumph. Lore.Time runs ever odd
I walk and walk my legs feeling like a crumbling sand castle
I start to feel dizzy seeing the animated birds and stars spinning around my head like a halo
The thing I need most,
Can be useful on any coast
It helps provide food,
And puts you in a safer mood
This item can make tools,
But is sometimes against the rules
It will help you survive,
Life
To survive is not to live.
That much is clear.
Is it life if you go day to day
without thinking, never going beyond
what is necessary?
I’m 60% water
Every cell in my body is living
For that intricate H2O
I persevere to stretch
My ambitions
To be boundless
Like the water
That sneaks and slides
Though You only work on wi-fi
I still need You by my side.
I wouldn't use You to call anyone
Since no one would come.
The only thing I desire
Is for Your volume to be higher
50-60-100 songs
Only five weeks left
Of my high school career
The time has flown by
Oh my gosh, oh my dear.....
With adulthood ahead,
And college to follow
The lump in my throat
My love for you is great
My heart melts for Costco till the dusk of day
My lifeline you may be
Furniture, food, and electricity till days dawn
Costco beauty is dazzling
As I grow older, things become more and less important to me. Some people can’t live without their technology, and some can’t live without money, or power.
fire:your red and orange flames,keep me warm,cook my food,santize my water, keep predators away,be my light in the dark, your crackling will keep me company, the one thing I'll need to live.
They tell me there are three things I need to survive:
food, water, shelter.
I think, though, that truly
what I cannot live without is something I’ve always had
The real question stands betwixt "live" and "survive"
The latter just lifeblood, the former to thrive
Any man can say he needs nought but food
And cares not what the term "to live" includes
The only thing I need to survive may seem a little strange-
although it's not so much a thing, either-
but the only thing I need
is my companion, my guardian, my reflection,
my...dog.
It all started in 1933, Malnutrition, execution, and disease, It seemed all the same to me, but please don't be so full of greed that you can't see what this story really means to me. We slept on sticks called beds and woke with water on our heads
Alone on a desert island,
Or the middle of the sea;
Atop a snow-covered mountain,
Or wherever I might be,
My faith in God, the great I Am
Is all I need to see me through,
For what I need to survive,
One mistake can suffocate
The tears I've wept
the nights I never slept
trying so hard not to be unkept
but all I do is cause a rause
I have this day of dark clouds
Tumultuous days gripping my life
If I were left on an island alone,
I would miss all the comforts of home.
I couldn't decide what one thing to bring,
An object to help me through this horrible thing.
I could pick some tarp to cover my head,
the obligation to one’s family
is a curious thing that I do question
an unsaid contract you take happily
or otherwise you better not mention
We are born fragileNo idea of the experiences to comeThe urge to survive is strongOnly through hardshipsWill we gain wisdom and power
I feel
as if
one- by - one
bits and pieces of me are being pulled from my heart
very carefully.
Long strands,
removed by the Adversary
I don't have enough faith to endure.
Leaving behind a title,
Breaking the barricades;
Calling out for revival,
Hurling out hand grenades;
Fighting for survival,
Peeling off charades;
Waiting for avowal,
Here is to the women who hurt.
How their pain never told
though their stories ever sold,
intuitively resistant and bold.
BON VOYAGE
All of the doubt and pain
Has turned my head
Into a baby's rattle
And the shaking toy...
Feels like an earthquake
And all the toys noise...
Is the only sound I hear
The frantic forest floor,it was so cluttered once,every rustle was news, unsilenceable.Leaves fell, animals tracked through the dappled shifting sunlight, and it was all important.
you will survive
emerging into the world like any other baby
small, wrinkly, squinty, and fragile
Schwivel, Schwivel...Click!
I hold the gun in my lap
Staring down the empty tunnel
Slipping into a beautiful little trap
Should I, shouldn't I...
Schwivel, Schwivel...Click!
This road of turns and bridges took me to a cliff
I went off my cliff
I am alive
My road is now dark and uncertain
I reach for light but then stop myself
Phones everywhere
Babies, kids, teens, adults, elderly
Everywhere I look there's a phone
Students, teachers, drivers, policemen, firemen
School, funerals, weddings, births, accidents, parties, fights
A Life Interrupted
Darkness falls upon my thoughts
And yet I cannot sleep
My mind so full of shadows
Reaching in the deep
what I really hate the most is all this talk of “survival.”
my life is not a jungle filled with stripèd tigers and striking snakes.
my life is not a building going up in flames.
I am alive
I have survived
What the Earth
Has thrown at me
I exist
I can fight
Even with all
That ails me
I am gay
And that’s okay
I have blue hair
A/N: I was thinking about what I think makes me flawless, and I think it's my intense survival instinct. So here's a poem about that.
You captured kings and warriors and now our bloodline fights back
You underestimated the mystery and power behind those of us who are black
You saw our strength and resilience and said “They’ll be fine to do our work”
“You’re not in this alone. Let me break this awkward silence…”
Blared loud into eardrums
Eardrums of an emotionally unhinged fourteen year old boy
Kids are dying
Younger and younger
By their own hand
They're being pushed to the edge
And they can't return
They feel alone
And helpless
And have no where to go
How many kids have to die
i lost myself
in my blanketed tomb
scars on my wrist
and pills on my tongue
couldn't breathe
although i tried
i tried and tried
We let life pull us down by our ankles into the shadowy depths of uncertainty
While we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps
Trying to stay afloat
Trying to get better
The raft to which we cling is broken
Survival
In seventh grade bio, I learned about camouflage. Like all textbooks, chameleons, and tigers, and zebras lined up the pages to put faces to the definition.
Hide hide hide
I would say
Hide what you love about yourself
and put it away
They try and hurt you
everyday
so hide hide
put your true self away
And that way
They'll never
Never have I thought it was easy, but I have fought my evil demons
Throughout leaving home at a 18, biggest regret, but enjoying the challenges
Obstacles have battled me on my dark days, I came out shining
He has dirty clothing and smells
Yet he sits on the corner and waves
There's no sign or cup
Though looks emaciated and untidy
But he doesn't beg for help
I tried to give him a twenty
Words
i don't care,
if this is ever seen
i dont care
if my words connect
if there is an effect
i don't care if it is praised high
or looked down
all i care
A gust of wind brings up a smell,
Of an unforgiving living hell,
The sweat and blood fills up ground
So thickly, muffling every sound.
Oh shepherd of three-odd billion years
bring 3’oclock coffee for its paragon
For the light slants at an angle at this hour
it is redshifting, in the atmospheric ether
A gilded cage, clipped wings, a weight, breath short, metallic fear
shaking, sweating, the bitter putrid taste of vomit.
Anxiety.
Woe to thee my bonnie lass!
The ship was lost at sea;
And not a soul was saved,
Not a soul but me.
don't you wake up some days & wander..
just wander and wonder..
"Where am I going?"
"What am I going to do?"
& its amazing, too..
An act I can't evade
Run my finger across the blade
Slowly walk over to my prey
Close my eyes and pray
Choke the handle, begin to attack
Crack
I feel the mysterious paint dripping down like a cape
Containing the worlds lies that I thought I could escape
Fire-smelted red lipstick. To mark
and yet so that no wine has the balls to stain you back.
A coin with the same side on both sides
With it we define, the meaning of life
The need to realign, without much strife
To impose our odds, beyond our right
You’d be surprised how much power we have over our own minds. I imagine survival back before our times and the development that required. They used their brains and had too. Using each part and functioning as one form.
I be sleeping while awakeGirl kiss me while I wakeMoney ain't a thingNot for the gold chainPeople go insane all for the fame
The glass lost its grip
And my veins lost their insistent murmur.
My heart no longer pounding
I spoke my words into the air
My throat strangling, mangling
Sounds I would never release
Together we fall
Together we rise
Overcome our struggles
And try to survive
The dead live now
And the living die
Our hearts harden
No tears in eye
Do we fight onwards
The apathetic deal with their emotions by not touching them.
Thoughts, what thoughts?
They turn feeling into physicality
Some say its a brute, primal way.
But it's genius,
Brilliant,
I shouldn't be here,
you were ask to get rid of me,
it was the doctors mistake,
you didn't listen,
thanks,
I'm fine.
I shouldn't be here,
you turned around for two seconds,
Living in a world where you are alone never to know if you are going home. Life without a table to sit never to know what to do without it hunger is real you have to eat out a trashcan or two.
3 minutes without oxygen
too deep underwater to
wonder if I can get to the surface
3 hours without shelter
tooth chatteringly cold and I
want to go home
3 days without water
Learning things on my own
because I have no home
barely making it through the day
have to leave because I do not like to stay
look at my reflection in the murky water
They weren't born this way.
They had a life just like you
You can end up right were they are
Homeless, looking for a job, and a car
The Subconscious possesses my fragile fingers, tracing the rusted doorknob.
My errant body ambles off, leaving the scent of presence behind.
The inviting entrance embraces my hand delicately.
Luring me into a House where
They're finding their way closer.
Within this thick underbrush,
I cannot find comfort.
Delirium driving me insane,
I am the only to blame.
All I can do is wander,
Ya see black brothas
always tryin to be trap brothas/or rap brothas
Why don’t you wrap brotha
Bussin out babies like morning sickness
This continuous cycle is more than a sickness
Nine months,
Nine months I spent wondering
Wondering about that opening
The opening that was said to come, when I reached the end
The end that I anxiously waited to begin.
Cuz,
I wasn't born to write,
It isn't my passion,
It isn't my calling.
I write because I need to live.
I write because of my fear.
I heave through my lungs,
Fighting a word on the page.
I write for the little girl who woke up many times, but wished she stayed asleep. For the little girl who was internally abused by a man who was supposed to love her unconditionally.
She opened my eyes to the power of words:
A finely turned phrase,
An image painted on the canvas of the mind’s eye.
In her solitude she found herself,
Her pen speaking the truth of her reality.
The reason you exist, is because you were the first sperm to reach the egg.
The reason you were born, is because you fought your way out of your mother’s womb.
You want an idea of human rights,but are you ready to listen to the fights.Listen, listen carefully to my rhymes,about the absurd things occurring in prime time.You know about these absentees,
you left us treading for life at a crucial time
assuming our emminate doom.
you still walked away
Thank God I'm alive.
Four words that have taken too long
To escape from these lips
And still stumble out
Like a drunk driver
wake up one day take a look in the mirror
i have something to say my message must be clearer
i will not be a statistic so my think must stay logistic,
theres a lot of wrong in this cruel little world
The world is SPINNING OUT
I have no utter doubt
That history repeats itself
And its happening now.
Do you think for a moment
That this would not happen?
Warfare in the world
I don't keep the worlds histories
I don't solve the worlds mysteries
And I am not their story keeper
I am no mans scribe.
That is not my life.
Diamond dust dances from the frozen frontier.
It clings to my eyelashes, but I see him rush to linger.
Ahead he guards me; protects me.
Beyond the beyond, the mask of danger veils.
I am alive in my room
Where there are two windows
One right, one left
The right one is painted white, layered with curtains of daffodils
The left window is clean and clear, framed in black porcelain
Let is not waste our precious time
on all those harmful screens,
that connects us to the world
but disconnect us form the scene.
Ignorance is killing a man, a man with great potential.
And this ignorance that I speak of, is coming down like torrential rain.
There is no way to escape it, no escape plan.
I’m all alone, left nothing to accomplish.
Humans hath not heed death’s approaching voice.
At ends with friends desire death as punish,
For we both walk, but only I life’s choice.
Cold metal is no longer terror,
‘Till cold metal becomes warm,
Cold metal is her weakness,
Yet a friend that always warns.
Chicago shall rise again.
This phrase, from ashes rose
But I see a city again with flames rising high
Not of fire but of hatred, racism and crime.
A Chicago whose politicians are varied
One brain for admission
Two to commence the submission
Three for a laugh track
Four the media is out of whack
Bashing is on my resume
You want my soul, how much will you pay
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I look right and left.
To find my surroundings sky high of bodies, and I wonder why.
Far off into the distance, I can see it, The Resistance.
Bang, bang.
No sleeping tonight.
The Sand Man won't come,
No child will dream.
Blasphemy on sight.
Whole room grew quiet as your mother cried.
"He's been killed," they said, "execution style."
She'd just found out her first-born son had died,
Crime scene so gruesome and bloody and vile.
The night is dark, and I can see
Quite plainly, now, the two or three
Or four or five of them that come.
Oh, how I wish that I were numb
To all the things that soon shall be.
And what will have become of me
who are we to judge? why must we all be the same?
i am making the claim that we are all different!
live and let live
stop judging and start giving
give your time.
give an ear.
Eyes locked in concentration
Taking every scent and sound
Merging with the ground
Silent and deadly as the night
Moving with swiftness and grace
Anticipation of a wild chase
Heart beating the jungle rhythm
I wish my phone would ring
I call home, waiting alone, dial tone screams
my mind's cold behind this blindfold of space and time
I can't escape it I'm
waiting
and like a fine rope this line holds
The destruction it leaves
the people who grieve
Is it worth it to have
a weapon that leaves people so sad?
We need them to hunt
we need them to survive
but some people just have them
The world is on fire
Amongst all the lies
should we give into desire?
For what do they yearn
leaders so greedy
can they not see us burn?
Welcome to this place
Where judgment is our game
We'll chew you up and spit you out
You'll never be the same.
