When people look at me they see

The oh so loving, witty, outgoing,

Vibrant, and always positive Mariama

I am a carefree spirit.

I do what I want

I am fun to be around.

I don’t care what others think about me.

I am always smiling

 I am always happy

My roommate usually says, “Mariama, you are the nicest person I know”

YET,

Why do I not think all this is true?

Because I know the truth

I am like this because I have to be

It’s a survival skill

One I learned a long time ago.

How am I supposed to tell the world that I am not always happy?

That deep inside my heart, I am sad

How do I let them know I really do care about what others think of me?

How am I supposed to let people know that I am not positive, internally?

That I am always prepared for the worst to happen

How am I going to tell everyone that I could be just as selfish as anyone else?

How will I let them know that I am not as carefree as I seem?

That it is all just an act

How will I let them know that my feelings get as easily affected,

 Just like anyone else

TWO FACE

I have lived like this my entire life

I would not know what to do with myself if I suddenly stopped.