I am

Sat, 04/26/2014 - 23:01 -- Ellie27
A gilded cage, clipped wings, a weight, breath short, metallic fear
shaking, sweating, the bitter putrid taste of vomit.
A key in lock, a flutter of wings, breathless, soaring, sweet release
catharsis, floating, flying, lost in motion.
Shaking hands, creeping paralysis, frigid blood, 
Vertigo punches in like a coat hanger abortion
a hand constricts the trachea, crushing the windpipe
light laughter, carefree running, summer breezes
warmth spreading over the body, hope sweeping in
              My son
teeth chattering, blackness rolling in, white bones crackling,
muscles tensing, breath gone, breath gone, breath gone
weightless, water cleansing, rushing, focus streaming,
steel filling in bones, strength flowing in veins,
a drumming march, a cadence of heartbeats
a noose, a knife, a gun
around my neck
to my wrist
against my temple
Bleeding poison, releasing venom, an antioxidant, an antidote,
a cure
Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Shaking down to the core, 
but then...
shedding darkness, shedding fear, shedding the snakeskin
metamorphasis, evolution, a revolution
 of spirit
gold refined, thrown into fire, purities removed,
my mind, my thoughts, my life,
I am. I am. I think. I think.
I am. I am.
Surviving anxiety.


Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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