Family Problems
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Dear Fate,
Since the day I was born
exposed to the empty canvas called life,
that I was never in control of,
we’ve been playing each other.
Locked in a stalemate.
I play as the mighty king;
dear father who is absent but not absent enough,
you usually leave between eleven and twelve
coincidentally those are the ages i first began to doubt us
i put myself in danger
I AM FROM
I am from that WOMAN over there
And from the place where CANCER forms
I am from
I am from where black lives MATTER
The old queen-sized boxspring creaks
as one of the three children sleeping on it repositions.
Cousins.
A creaking somewhat different
than the wooden door with chipping white paint
Practicing t-ball in the big field behind our old house , you pushed me hard, you made it count.
Dad what did i do ?
I remember you helping me, no training wheels on pushing me along
Dad what did I do ?
One word from you and I
Flinch and cringe and wonder why
Why must your words hurt me so?
If you knew, the pain would show
And then you would truly know
How deep the bullet of my sorrow goes
I've got real boy problems and I can't stand it
Try to keep everyone so I demand it
No one ever stays so I stay angry
The best way to attract the same thing
Those who turn up as new are the old faces
The mother is beautiful and elegant, but she hides herself from the outside world. The father is a hard working businessman who loves his children and provides for them, but what does he do in the evenings?
Look at the world with hopeful eyes,
Never let them see you down,
put that razor away, put that lighter away
Don't hurt yourself anymore, please, don't frown.
I wish your depression would you see yourself
We all have wishes and dreams and goals
But are any of them about trying to feel whole
I am adopted by a single mother
And I feel like there’s an empty space from a father
im falling in this hole. a place of no return.
where no emotion shows, we are forced to burn.
incinerate ourselves so that the pain subside.
She came early today
She said she took the long way
And had something to say
She told me some lies
She told me some truth
She told me she tries
Sometimes what’s the use
My depression feels like so many things all rolled up into one.
At it's worst, it is overwhelming sadness and a certainty
that I am not good enough and that no one could
ever really love me.
didn't make the teamlast one to be pickedkicked to the curbbefore the chance was givento be all you could bewith the support of a familynow your homeless
I try but when I know I wasn't trying hard enough, I fell short of making it.I try but when I know I had more on my train of thoughts, I fell short of succeeding it.
Here I amHere I standAwaiting for some form of affectionHere I amHere I standWanting "a life where everything is good"Here I wasHere I stoodLooking at people of past
'What is it? What is it that you see?'
He asked
I choked on silence
Beneath my ribcage was a hollow tree
I'm constantly moving forward, but it's tearing me apart,
as if I'm stationary, waiting at a bus station in the dark,
If words could be tasted
Would idiot be sour?
Would oppress be foul?
Would morbid be bitter?
Would smack be acidic?
Or would finesse be like honey?
And no matter what your scars represent.
They aren't your entire story.
Just an ugly chapter.
But your story goes on.
And it may have several ugly chapters.
I embody the life of a young teen that’s struggling.
Going through high school not knowing what’s coming in.
Black holes come from broken hearts... so much disparity in the world over loves now lost
Trapped in his own thoughts
He’s all alone with nothing but a lone heart
Trying to spark a flame so dark
It can light up a room with demonic distraught demonstrating
Blessed are the forgetful
Or so Nietzsche tells me
But when have transitory monsters lost a childhood
Or a father who stayed only in their mind’s eye
Now faded away like the shore ravenously
Behind unknowing turned backs,
Soft-spoken silent attacks
When one is out of the room
They seek to seal them in a tomb
Constantly talk of problems
But never talk to solve them
My soul is like an empty sock
Cold and pleading for a foot.
But my soul is allergic to feet
So it weeps at night for the homeless grass.
I also like to watch the moon smile at the stars.
i know im not right for you but i wish i was. i try not to fall for you but i just cant. i keep holding these feelings in because its too soon. but if you give me a chace ill prove it to you. if i get hurt i can only blame me.
Life: the inevitable,
it can throw you to the ground,
or it can bring you up,
either way it treats you a certain way.
I've always been the one to experience this,
Its coarse taut roots embedded themselves within my chest,
making it harder to finish my quest.
Its icy cold petals blossomed within,
Heavy hangs the albatross
Around my neck like pearls.
Passed from an elder,
To a little girl.
Knowledge may be a gift,
Unknown boy
Unknown life
By me atleast.
I didn't know of your existance
And I'm sure you don't know of mine
But maybe you do
Atleast now.
I've been thinking about you a lot
You see the smile plastered on her lips, dripping a story with a twist. Lies escape with every phrase, across your ears. You believe it's the truth she's laid. She seems like the perfect student, perfect girl; every strand without a curl.
To love a man, to love a girl...
What difference is there really?
Love, to me, is the same
In any language, in any shape
For any age,
For any person.
Love could maybe just be
a simple word
If you only knew
What we carry on our crooked spines
When we leave your room
The torment
The pressure
The never ending gloom
If you only knew
What our futures hold
My mommy doesnt know all that I do.
She doesnt know about everything I've gone through
I smile when I'm around her, so that she doesnt know
All the trouble I got into and where my mind likes to go
Yes, that is I
Wave to say hi
My hair a white essence surrounding my face
My eyes, blue, starring into space
My arms dotted with freckles
My heart, pounding
I feel a constant sense of drowning
In the past, i never talked about my needs. I never wanted to tell my needs.
I was alone because i had no one. I had family, but i never saw it. I had friends, but i never saw it.
I was getting help, but i never saw it.
You can be a real pain at times
coming whenever you feel like it and make me feel
small, worthless, tired,
I have enough problems already
why do you have to make more for me?
Cold. Sharp. Inviting.
I don’t want anyone to pull me back into this world.
There is a reason I want to leave, and pulling me back
won’t make that reason go away.
I know she is tired,she hates feeling this way,She weeps and she cries,tears of pain day to day.She deals with much hurt,and is put through much strife,her skin sticks to her shirt,
Don’t try to speak to me
I have nothing to say
Despite forcasted developmental trends
My etymological roots have decayed
Only half-formed ideas stumble lazy from these lips
Misguided thoughts
Thinking of the days that we could be sure that light
Would always travel faster than monsters trying to catch us at night
But you drink under daylight now too
Thinking of a mother who never hugged you
We all cry for help don't we? We are in need of help for every little trouble or bump along the way in our path. But there are others in the world and in our communites that are in BIGGER trouble and they need OUR help.
Never write a songAbout a stupid boy you fell in love with,Because you’ll rememberThat the air exists to fill his lungsAnd that his lips serve a purposeMore significant than your kiss.
So many lovers have loved and lost,
they never tried to fight the cost.
Love doesn't conquer if you don't help it win,
for love is a feeling that can't help but to give in.
Walking aimless in eternal mysery
I came upon a great mystery-
A hidden pathway in a hill
Gave my senses a big thrill.
And so I followed the path 'till the top
And found a graveyard in the stop.
I am the guy that never showed sufferings.
I am the guy who cried, the guy who hide of himself in the shadows of lust.
Crying, crying still no one knows what i am capable of. Will I survive?, will I survive ?
I get to school take my seatYou take roll while we all eat Our breakfast and listen to your dumb rulesWhich have all of us acting a foolYou slowly go down the roster You peer through your ugly bifocals that make you look like a monster You start t
Tonight I can't stop the tearsI feel the soul of another rising up Someone stronger is being urged to take overI want to run far awayKnowing I'm not alone in thisI want to run far away
I feel a monster rising up inside. It creeps and crawls inching to the surface. No true sense of decency does it possess. It's soft and silky upon my tongue and it blends easily upon my face.
"You will never be anything".
"Anything you achieve, it is because of me".
No, b**tch. That is where you are wrong.
My father, never there, but my mother taught me to be strong.
Walking to a court room at the age of 7 was very frightening. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was getting adopted, but I did not have a say in anything.
Night and Day your at my side,
my friend my heart my peace.
Lighten my mornings,
watching you run and play and chase.
Brighten my nights,
next to me close warming my dreams.
I cannot understand my current emotions on the relationship I am in, I don’t understand how I feel anymore. My emotions don’t talk I have to but if I can’t understand them how I can explain them.
Hispanics are considered a minority because most of them are not educated
and barely make enough to reach the minimum wage.
Living in a world where that’s expected from you can be tough
You don't know that your fist feels like butterfly kisses,
And your words, as sickly sweet as gas station seafood dishes
Don't faze me.
My face, has been through more abuse than big city sidewalks
You are dangerous
A bomb
You are an animal that could pounce at any moment
You are only a window to sneak out of
Or another used condomn
Or another empty beer bottle
it's possible to have a house-
but no home.
it's possible to be surrounded-
and completely alone.
i'm trying to concentrate-
without staring at my phone.
the scars on my outside layers
I dont understand why this can be, almost all alone in this journey.
No one seems to see anything from my point of view.
Only a few see my perspective, it is even harder when your
Trails of gray blazing the untrailed canvas
It's curves at it's masters every whim
Success! The man says, as he puts it aside
and reprints with the black.
It's work shaded by the of ink
For Everyone who is in school.
For Everyone who has been bullied.
For Everyone who has been in a sport.
For Everyone who is battling addiction.
For Everyone who is working.
For Everyone who is a parent.
The time passes by,
So fast.
The light seems to,
Fade away.
I sit here,
Watching,
The sun rise,
The moon shine.
The hate pours from me like I'm made of water,
only ment to quench my own thirst,
I hat myself,
No matter what I say,
No matter what I do,
I can't ever seem to be enough for you,
You meaning me,
Watch.
Wait.
Run.
I Watch him walk and wait for his return. Watch him run and wait to feel something. Anger?
Lots of it.
Sadness?
Not enough.
Resentment?
It boils in my blood.
I can't move. I can't see. I can't breathe. Nobody cares. Nobody listens. I'm not me. I'm not you. Who am I? I haven't got a clue. Someone please help me. I still can't move. What's wrong with me? I have got a clue. Depression.
I am so done with the outside,
done with the sress and the tears,
done with the lies and hurt,
but not done with life
I am so tired of letting
every single little think get to me.
Lost
My necessities are unseen through hazy eyes.
My dreams are degraded by little whispers in my head.
My bearings are lost, scattered among a thousand others,
drifting through my mind.
One side of an equation
One half of a perspective -
From the outside looking in,
I'd see the shine, the goodwill.
"They are just so cute,"
I hear,
"A perfect little pair."
Any teacher can follow a lesson plan
but one teacher can teach whatever they can.
Why dont we figure out how modern life really works
instead as a student we learn the basic boring subjects first.
A pit of despair embarks upon me.
Dragging me deeper, catching my breath.
Gasping for air, I grieve.
Clawing for space, I breathe.
It is only then that I notice my need,
That I find what I grieve,
Everything in life is temporary,
the people you love, the people you hate.
Life, Love, Happiness, Smiles, Tears, Pains, Sadness, Doubt, Anger, Fear, Everything.
Every emotion you have right now is temporary.
Why are you so depressed?Your sadness only seems to festerI want to make your heavy load have less But first you need to clean up your mess
Broken Rear View
Many times we alloy our curiosity to spoil of future,
More often than not,
We obsess over our rear view.
Have you ever taken the time to think,
What if your rear view-
Baggage Claim
To those who view their past,
As a lesson.
Simply sit back and do yourself a favor-
Commit to confession.
Sift through the bags which look-
Oh so similar on the outside.
My family, will you love me the same knowing that I am different?
Mom, will you still smile at me knowing that I am not that perfect daughter you wanted?
Nothingless
i don't know youbut where you layin black and whitea paragraph of your sixteen years
It is five in the morning as twilight sheds tears down my face,
The dancing horizon teases my mourning
eyes yearning for sorrow
But bleeding condescending sympathy
The sun rays invade,
I don’t want to be heard anymore, but you are starting to listen.
I finally tell you “no” and you’re finally on your knees then,
You are so very special to me
Even though your appearence was so bare
The life you let me live is so free
You are the reason I am so very fair
I try and cope with strong emotions
As easily as I possibly can
You "think" you understand.
You "think" you know what I go through on a daily basis.
Seeing your mother move on from the only man you knew as "Daddy"
Seeing your father lie and cheat his way through a marriage
She rests in painful slumber
Drips with salty sweat
She is unaware of what it means—
Means to be sick with fear.
She chokes on spittle—spews up spittle
Chokes on angry, violent spittle.
Every morningIts the same.I stay in bed Counting the minutes until Dementia comes to wake me up.
Alas the light turns onAnd the fans go offAnd everything becomes Dead and silent.
The day I saw my superhero first cry Was the day that she deployed That wall she had built ten feet high Cracked until it was destroyed And when she came back with fear She killed her sorrows drink after drink It was like she wasn’t here It was li
