I Only Lived Twice


Life: the inevitable,

it can throw you to the ground,

or it can bring you up,

either way it treats you a certain way.

I've always been the one to experience this,

I have watched it happen to other people as well.

It's just... Reality.  Who am I to judge?

God is in charge. I am just a victim of his power.

My life is an amusement park in which sometimes you have fun,

while other times things are left undone and you're anxious for more, 

but sadly you must abandon it for some time.

Growing up my best friends was optimism, 

I always thought to look on the positive side of things,

that was until, the woman who gave birth to me,

she left. She left me and my siblings.

For who? For what?

Forced to except what was going on,

my siblings and I had to vacant immediately. 

I left everything; my friends, my memories, my toys, they were all left behind.

For what? What did I do to deserve this?

My life felt abused. I felt confused. My emotions were eating away my most important organ: the heart.

Fast forward,

I'm older, wiser, and more understanding.

I'm living with my dad and we're scross our old city.

We're in a new surrounding, and a new enviromment.

I'm only 16, and I find out my dad will not give up on marriage.

So, he re-marries, I'm shocked.

She has two sons, I'm intimidated.

I refuse to except this life, I refuse, I refuse!

I will not, I will not except this so-called "faith." 

Mom, where are you? Mom. I am looking for you.

Why did you leave me. I loved you. I cherished you and this is what you do to me?

I was on the verge of suicide,

I couldn't allow myself to live through this pain,

everything was damaged even my brain,

all because of one person thinking of herself. 

I wanted to drown, I wanted to,

but God wouldn't let me,

He was in charge,

He knew I'd regret it.

I would not just take my own life but I would be acting selfish,

like my biological mother acted. 

It's crazy, I stopped. I regained my thoughts, and met a good friend, 

last name Thomas, he helped me get over my grudges.

Just when I was on the brink of pure isolationism, he refused to accept it,

he became my friend. He helped me not think of suicide. 

Fast forward, I just turned 17, life is closing in on me,

I have one more year left of highschool,

a baby was born, I am now a big brother.

God has allowed me to live twice,

I was given a second chance to accept my new life,

I embraced my life and the future to come, 

and finally I forgave my biological mother, and accepted my new one.

I was at complete utter loss at one point in my life,

I was on the verge of ending it... Forever.

But, I didn't. I didn't let God take control, I took control.

And now I happily look back and enjoy the fond memeories I had with my siblings, 

as we all have went through this struggle... Together.


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