alive
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For the first time in my life, I am not worrying about anyone else,
Because I have taken care of everyone else for so long, and put my own priorities up on a shelf.
And just like that, you feel like you are finally free,
From all of the chains that have been holding me.
The ones that have been keeping me tied to the ground,
Have been running in circles,
trying to greet every truth with smile;
Couldn't change the past,
but I can't seem to fit in this future of mine.
She has arrived, she’s beautiful, scarred, humbled, and wise.
Most of all this woman is alive.
She walks with a hint of pride, but not too proud to admit her missteps.
Mistakes and lessons dance in harmony a 2-step.
Make it stop. The rasping of my heart.
The uneven breathing that manages to escape.
I don’t like the dark.
As the rain slips from the roof, a soft pitter-patter.
I reach out my hand—emptiness, is that you?
Fearing death is like fearing a sneeze
After it’s over, people will turn their heads
Some will say bless you
Even those who never knew you
During the fall, the sunsets begin with deep orange and end with dark blue. You. Today my grandma couldn’t stop crying because she said it was hard to breathe. Cancer. God works in mysterious ways.
If the truth is coming outThen I’ll always love youHow could I run away from youWith your eyes like diamondsAnd how could I stay with youWith your voice as gentle as a chainsawYou pulled me in
Never be afraid to turn away from the past.Never be afraid to burn the bridges.Some people can only grow once their roots are nothing but ashes.Like a pine sapling after a raging wildfire.
We are still the children painting pictures to hang on the fridge,
but now it's too late to start over.
Too late to pick a different color.
Every stroke is a different future and every drop a different reality.
I am a man.
I’m sure my reputation proceeds me
I know just how you’ll perceive me
But I’m begging please believe me
Please open your eyes and see me
I am a human
I am crawling and falling and calling
I need you to hear me, come near me, don’t fear me
while you flee, watch me bleed, please don’t leave
cause I’m flying and I’m crying, but I’m dying
Life is like a car without brakes
Except on fire and filled up with snakes
It frantically flies, as if scraping the skies
And will probably end up in a lake
But life has a deadline in mind
I'm not ashamed to admit
I am an overly romantic
Because if I feel, I know
I exist,I live, I'm alive!
I do not go unnoticed
It’s a tragedy for those of us who stay the same
When time tries to heal, but we stand against the winds of change
Because you resist, you’ll make the same mistakes
Those are the choices of us living not in love but hate
Brightness,
Five leaps of electricity
Bringing darkness into the light
Giving sight unto the blind
Banishing shadows into the oblivion
No questions asked
Not a statement more
I always knew my aunt was a fighter
Since she was a little girl she had been fighting for her life, suffering in health, but exceeding in everything else
I am here, I am alive
These words I chant in my head,
A mantra, a banner,
As I lay down to bed.
I am here, I swear,
I am not the ghost I appear,
I am alive I say,
And I don't want to fade away.
Poetry Written As Performed.
I am 1 in 4.
Not 1 in 4 to rebel against my parents and dye my hair a crazy color.
These verses are for you and me
For our eyes to see
Light where there was darkness
And love where there was fear
They left scars
Deeper than any gun wound
A bitter taste in my soul
Swallow these pills you’ll feel better
Prozac, zoloft, seroquel, hydroxyzine, pills pills pills
Take it, swallow it with your saliva and let it dissolve in your stomach acid
Eyes open I can feel but not see,
What is this pain overwhelming me?
Am I alive, Can I breathe?
You see not long ago it was you and me,
You and I, He and she there-
I was alive, I could breathe.
How are you feeling?
Alive.
Alive?
Not the exciting breath of living life to the fullest alive,
but the complete and infinite lack of any feeling left alive.
I am thankful for the breath in my lungs.
The fact that I am alive.
I have lived 17 years and still have many left.
I am thankful that I am still living...that the suicide attempts were failures.
life
when I was little, I use to curl my hair every morning & put fake flowers in my hair because that was the only beauty I saw in myself.
Moonlight
drips from the pores of the sky and
shines light upon green gardens and barred
fences. The grey tint shows indifference on faces and in
le rêve et l'amour
my dreams and my heart
are flying free
from the dark
hope springs forth
from an untapped well
I see the light permeating
my cells
the world's noise
I am confused and loosing focus
The stress of daily life engulfs
I look out the massive clear window to my left
I see a couple jogging side by side, laughing
That is when idea strikes!
Every morning I wake at 4 AM.
I wake at 4 AM and I am ready to be free.
I am alone, walking the streets of darkness and wonder,
enjoying my time for me.
I realize that this is who I am, the girl who wanders
With heavy feet, I treadForcing myself to my bedI lay on my backBreath in and outAttempting not to focus on what I lack
written 08/09/16
So much disappointment,
So much hate,
So much lies,
So many things that I'm afraid.
I seek to punish,
I seek to find pain,
I seek to feel alive,
This agonizing silence,
This terrifying darkness,
The ignorance, the pain they give me,
The way they show their emotions to me,
The hate and disgust on their faces,
Take this pain away,
Life has us all under a leash. We don't notice we're going under one simple routine. Everyone has one unstoppable destination. How long we last until we reach that destination? It's only known based on our determination.
It seemed logical at the time.
But now I stare at the scars,
Demonized by those around me.
To them each one is ugly,
To them each one is alienating.
To them each one is my insanity.
School, eat, sleep, repeat
“Mommy, can I go and play with Jenna?”
“No, you must study and never cheat.”
School, eat, sleep, repeat
“Mother, can I have a cookie?”
I've shed so many tears,
I have no more,
And all that is left is a shell.
A shell of a girl that I used to know,
The girl that I still show.
But no one knows what happens,
Black, I am Black
We are women
We are recognized
The pain is gone
God helped us regain our confidence and strength
We faced our daily struggles
Spirit will ……never vanish.
The darkest hour…upon the isle's stage.
No, I simply cannot let it be so for me ever.
On a desolate isle, I refuse to back down.
Standing before the Lord of Flies.
My mind filled with memories repressed,
swirling with feelings of nothingness.
Lack of self expression leaves one depressed,
the one thing I need is feelings of aliveness.
I smiled at him
from across the cafeteria
and then the gym,
and he smiled back.
Tall, dark, and handsome,
but I knew that was not all.
It is my conscious will
My want to always till
A world that never stays still.
It is my conscious awareness
My life I impress
On a world ravaged with tests.
It is my conscious emotion
Wreckage of my life
Remains through time
Ever crumbling
Touching my mind.
Caught in my head
Hell in the words unsaid
Eternaly burning for
Dead and broken dreams.
If I could choose one singular thing
To draw back the loneliness, boredom, and pain
Of living away from all I know
On a deserted island so far from home,
I don't remember
Most of the dream.
Just that you
Were in it.
Alive.
I think I met
Your parents?
Your brothers?
I don't remember
Most of the dream.
In this world of grief and strife,
I carry with me, my one true companion.
This companion is indifference.
I walk through with him,
Never unhappy
Never unsure
In this world of grief and strife,
I carry with me, my one true companion.
This companion is indifference.
I walk through with him,
Never unhappy
Never unsure
Listen
Open your ears and listen
Really listen
Can you hear it?
The ocean
An airplane
Wind in the trees
A fly
A bee
Open year ears and listen
I can hear it
We are all born
We all live and
We all die
And get judged
By our deeds
And so
Why can’t
We live life
unique?
By dreaming different
And playing with life
Today is the day I realized I was one day going to die
It makes me think of how I’ve spent 5840 days of my life
Every second I cherish is every second i let fade away
Because a second only lasts for 0.006% of your day
Some say life is a constant, ever flowing
Though we rarely, if ever, know where it's going.
Others say only death is immortal
A cumbersome, catatonic existence can burn at my handsand I'll keep the torch with me, an old friend caught between young palms,ash and emotion make me stand:
I have a big Green house on a hill and it’s
Giant and clean
And full of space and I
Can’t wait
To get it filled up with things that
Portray my
New life with my husband.
Without the filters who am I?
Without the filters will I die?
Millions persuaded to become something they're not, only to find that out that what's inside....has changed a lot.
I am flawless because I am
One of God's beautiful creations
Not because I am man-made,
A photoshop modification
I am stubborn,
And sure, I may cry my eyes red
But I'm flawless because I'm here,
I am of flesh
I breath sin
I keep to myself
what lies within
But do express
And I'll give you notice
When storms draw near
I feel their closeness
Love one love all
I’ve awoken in a crowded place
Too tired to even recognize a single face
How could something be so great,
Awakened
Alive, to see a new day
The breeze can carry my dreams far, far
Believing in what can be through the thundering rains
Alive, beaming and reaching
Awakened!
She is, in essence, all things. She is the universe embodied, and every tiny speck of dust within it. In her infiniteness, she draws all who meet her in and gives them a piece of her.
I am cosmic dust.
I am a raging storm of gentle emotion.
My spirit is a wind that blows unobstructively.
I'm stronger than the words thrown into the voltage of my mind.
My heart still beats.
I am alive.
Sweat beading on my forehead
Words beating in my heart
This nemesis paralysis
Is taking back this part
So give me no more answers
a faint breeze against my skin makes me remember what I love most about life itself.
Simplicity is what makes me content
the warmth of the Sun as it beems down on my cheeks
making them glow with energy, I smile.
Oct 5 2014
The sun is sitting on the crown of the trees just due east. Reaching her arms through its leaves,
Holding it. Like a mother hugs her child.
Two cartoony tigers,
Friends for life,
Who live in a house
That bounces all night.
Two giants,
Father and son.
One smart,
One dumb,
One is mean,
One is bullied.
A pine tree,
Only my echo responds.
"Oh," it says. "Anything else?"
I stop. I did not expect a question in return.
"No. I just wanted to be heard."
"Oh. Well, I heard you."
One of my old poems:
Sometimes I feel like a puppet,
Pulled along in another's hands
Obeying the orders to do this or do that
My every rebellion already orchestrated
I want to go home
So from my heart I write this poem
My feelings are becoming stronger
But my heart is growing weaker
As the days grow longer
And my head comes down with fever
Her small hand touches the moist fabric of my shirt,
wrapping her arm around me as if she forgot how to comfort me.
I don't blame her.
She's right. We don't know each other anymore
Crystal rose,
You reflect light so beautifully,
But how does it feel to have petals of stone and not of felt?
To hold no fragrance,
To not sway melodically in the winds’ breeze,
To only be a sturdy copy?
Couldn't sleep,
my eyes restless
as my mind whirs in frustration.
Why?
Why?
You left me
and have let me go,
but I still can't
grasp
reality.
Ah the land of the free, the brave,
The tolerant
Tolerant of cheating and divorce, of lies and scandals,
Of murder
Murder of those who can not defend themselves
Who have not yet had a chance
OutsideThe entirety of my resolve runs with the river of tears thatTrickle, thenAfter a brief moment of suspenseBreak free, carvingCruel lines down my ravaged cheeks, a howling flood letLoose. My eyes are
Little blossom waiting to bloom, yearning for love.
A tiny piece of a gargantuan-sized tree, important part of a greater whole.
Although unborn it's our secret saviour....
I am Dead
I have died
Yet who am I to say what dying really is. Who am I as a single being of flesh, blood, bones, veins and skin to say what any one thing is.
It takes pain to know that you're alive,
That your heart is beating.
That your skin is feeling.
That your lungs are breathing.
It takes passion to know that you have the drive,
Inspiration is a way of telling our sorry tales of when we lost hope and gained it back. A way to show everyone and everything that there was a day the pain resided and was left to hang in the air.
You don't own me..
My past is dead. It holds no meaning
What happened happened. I need to be free of it;
I need to believe in feelings that are true,
That are beautiful, that are real.
I began as an idea.
Something someone thought up,
Creative
I am a reality.
A person who breathes,
Alive.
I am a skeptic.
Make me believe what I see,
Imaginary.
Instantaneous instinct in the shadows of
My yesterday; the nostalgic scent sickens me.
What used to plunge my soul in hypnosis
Is now a long-lost, hurtful memory,
A reflection in which I've built immunity
Between what makes a snowflakeItself and a species
is a recklessness(and something deeper)
that only a soulcan know; I wonder
how many?
How many sparks(between the lines)
Blue Skies
Blue goodbyes
But don't fret
we've still got plenty yet
we'll throw a plane
and fly a ball
Now lets all ride the
Hopisticall
He's blue and red
and furry all over
I walk through the empty room, cold and scared. It is dark in the room, but not the door. Underneath it shines a light that is glared. Its brightness is something not to ignore.
Do not use your words as knives.There are too many people with open wounds,Self inflicted lacerations,Bleeding freely.
living, breathing-
Screaming Out.
silent......quiet
beating Loud.
the questions Whirling
the Self Doubts,
the eyes once blinded;
opening now..
I can see, but I am blind.
I can hear, though I am deaf.
I can speak, yet I am mute.
I find myself wandering, like a spirit,
Walking the same path over.
I cannot tell if a dream has taken me
Sad life with no meaning
Not a word fell from her lips
All that was heard were the scribbles
“Who was she again?”
Murmurs crowed and wondered
Not one had heard a thought
Fall from her thin lips
When I write, It's what I feel.
Life's a lie? No, not when I write,
All the things they just feel so real.
For once in my life, everything is just so right.
The power's on, and I'm alive.
I can talk a lot, Now.
But it was poetry that taught me how.
Before my sentences were jumbled up phrases only I could understand,
With with minimal explaining.
Poetry and Me
By Colleen Preston
Poetry and me
Just simply came to be.
Like wind beneath my wings,
Worship without focusIs simply a blissful ruckusI can stand before the throne of GodEyes glazed over, I stand a fraudHe will not allow me to stand like this longHe desires my whole, for me to sing HIS song
The daedal dreamer danced around divas
Dallying with dangerous daredevils
Yet at dawn her daringness drove out depressingly
Its a dead end, she decays over the defeat
Deeply dependent on her dear Danny
Poetry
It is simple, but complicated
It gives you the oppurtunity to be heard, but never seen
Poetry allows you to express your emotions, and to relate to others sharing those same emotions
The sky is alive
Clouds slowly dancing by me
birds and bee's wisping by
without a single sound
leafs of all colors
red, yellow, green and brown
The sky is alive
the sun getting ready for bed
Sometimes
without pencil and white space
I think
my mind would go dizzy
with thought, too much heart
all cluttered in space
ambiguity--
my mind would burst in the mix
nowhere to go
"Youre suppose to be strong." Im 17 and Im suppose to hold everything inside, because its not time to let go. My fathers dying of cancer. Todays his 5th week in the hospital. How do you expect me to hold everything without letting go.
She shivered with anticipation
As she impatiently stood alert
Expecting the piercing sound of the gun.
But, no matter how soon she thought it was going to go off,
She was always surprised
All people purpose designed by God
Where he created us a perfect plan
Our divine shepherd guides which path to trod
When you are feeling low look to the man
Gods love perfected never failed me yet
I woke up today
Then woke up
Then woke up and saw a light so bright it blinded
A light So bright it burned
So bright it melted my eyes a little
So that their essence pooled and fell
My ship sets sail, it sails out to the sea
I am the captain, so the captain I shall be
I command no orders, my ship sails like I breath
The water so perfect, a ship just like mine sails in the reflection I see
He says, “We can’t afford it.”
Please don’t listen to him.
They say I’m just a piece of tissue,
But I am living and breathing within.
You will make a life changing choice,
If only you can hear my voice.
I, the born, originated in an abyss, encased in vague darkness; inaudible; interminable.
I loved you.
I still do.
Did you feel me,
When I moved within you?
When I kicked and twitched my tiny feet,
Flexed my small fingers,
To the sounds of your heartbeat.
A life is a life
No matter the size
No matter the age
Abortions are legal
They happen everyday
A man kidnaps women
Impregnates them
Kills her unborn babies
It's considered murder
The idea of being awake...
Truly and spiritually awakened from the earthly slumber life puts us in.
The dim and dreary box that society puts us in.
While in reality we can change the world if only we could awaken.
To end a life so early and so soon,
Does it seem right to offer such a way?
Life is still life in the morning before noon.
We chase the means as if it were a coon,
To have the right legally--we say--
Alive I am Alive yes I am Alive
My bones tingle with the energy of life itself
The energy of life surrounds me it protects me it cradles me, guides me
guidance
...restless days fold into restless nights...
I reset my mind to unwind.
counting sheep seldom works for me.
recalling our memories,
my personal bedtime lullabies,
Forever seems to do the trick.
It's not where your from-
It's where your life's at....
I lived by this saying, but my past always brought me back!
Years ago when I was 18
I fell for a guy who told me he 'loved me'.
Living in confusion?
I know who I like.
She, her. She, her.
Keeping to myself.
I am judged by the judged,
I am strangled by religion.
Beat me up and break me down.
I am still alive.
As the clouds get bigger and darker
I feel my heart starting to beat faster
The thundering makes the whole world shake
I wish these walls would just break
Let the rain in; let it fall down on my cheek…
Almost
A doctor,
A lawyer,
A wife
She could've been there,
If she had only survived.
If her silent voice had been heard while asleep in womb,
She may not have died far too soon.
Awake, alive, running to have a chase;
Dim forest peels back branches binding light
Allowing shadows lurch across my face
As the feet reach to more ground for my flight
who is we
where does this we reside
is it the same place as where we’ve come from
have we progressed at all or is here to comfortable
are the chains to comfortable
what if harriet tubman was afraid of the dark
Why waste away your heart and lose your soul?
Everyday brings a chance to convey,
Renewed meaning of life,
Revived displays of beauty,
And vibrant essence of bright futures.
