existence
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These dehumanized bureaucracies which compose
everyday life , these system of organs devoid of a soul
Not caring if we have names
or separate goals to pursue
School, work, food pantry
Till you know the softness of rocks and feebleness of mountains
Till you know hardness behind watery concrete
When alive
we say so much than thriven trillion words
When our eyes are at their last blink
We say a moment of words.
Sweet child, within you, sparrows sing blooms
Each day like protocoled steps will lead you
Down Heaven’s aisle of tapping awe and cool
Dear chubby queer kid
I know those words feel like insults now
But someday you will learn to own them
To wear them like medals you earned
Because you did earn them
Fighting every day to survive
I'm so tired Of tryingOf pretending everything is okOf being unloved But I can’t sleep foreverNot yet
When it comes to emotion between you and me, I was never moved by your subtle ways you think brings everyone concord.
You smile, but what do you smile for?
Disbelieving darkness and frightening final sounds
Relief that the eternal moment may never be found
Mortality’s grip from which we all shelter and hide
Constant exposure of
instant gratification,
that’s where we’ve drawn the line.
Where we are, where we’ve been;
then traveling further in time.
Was it given to me at birth
The perspective of my parent
Their collective history
Or the passing of time
What do the trees call me
When I pass by their brothers
Run my hands through the leaves
Have you ever wanted something more than oxygen?More than the very thing that sustains life?It’s ironic yet demandingA paradox of epic proportions and yet, it seems reasonable in your mind
I agreed when she called the world ugly,
When she whined it was a washed-out warped place.
Said I hated when weather was sunny,
Scorned sensations of summer on my face.
Existence
You asked me what inspires me?
I was forced to look within
Since I couldn't come up with an answer right away
I thought about changing the topic
A walk through the park
Infinite mem’ries
Faded into time
Experience fades
All impermanent
Dimming forever
God will only find you in death,
Your life won't matter to him.
The help that you expect
Is shortcoming with every breath.
I had a dream nothing mattered,
Time just plays with us
Just...
waiting for the clock to say the shift is over
to get the hell out of here
to move to the city
waiting in traffic
waiting in line behind the old lady who still uses checks at the grocery store
Reflecting upon my other self-
Possible me, potential me,
Smug smiling bastard what-if me
I cannot mourn a better self
Who can say which of us lived- was born,
I watched it all, never once did I look away
So calm as I heard the univeitable echoes of a radio, news on televisions, sirens calls
that I drowned out by the sight in front of all mankind
Traversing the brim of ill determination
stuck walking in eternal night
Existing only in those rusted hallows
purely pursued out of spite
Through the rolling waves of time,
The core of existence has never altered nor refined.
Starting with the first faint memories of a family dinner:
White jasmine rice with a selected number of simple side dishes.
Where does my soul touch my body? When I’m hurt why do I cry?
What does it mean to be human? Do we even catch God’s eye?
Our time on earth is short; we’re born, we live, we die.
If You Know Thyself
then you know the world
Motivated by madness
and driven by desire,
dive into the pool of passion
and swim deep as you can.
If You Know Thyself
When I eat veggies,
Nature comes to my own brain,
When I drink cocoa,
I thank God that I exist.
What can explain it?
I am not an accident.
Why with randomness?
Everything has a purpose,
I looked up
Shocked to see the stars
They seemed like a myth
A story
So often I had been out at night
Yet, I never before looked up
To the stars
I never before
Stared
Watched
They walk,
full of confidence with their bright red feet
Moving their heads to the rythem of the city
red eyes, staring far away, into a distant memory
To Life Death,
Lacking sleep, food, and will I am
coaxed into movement by the soft voice of life.
My oft-cited realms of self-persistence
Dear Heart, You are my rythym,The sole reason my eyes flutter open every morning,The source of my existence,My body's only coping mechanism,And my brain's greatest rival. Although you are blind,
Face flat - cold cement
Strings that hold - strings that break
All the things that you said-
Meaningless.
Yet.We defy. Nature. The odds. Authority.
We fly. We soar. We breathe. We die.
You tell me everything will turn out
That I have my whole life ahead of me
But what if I don't?
What if there isn't that much time left?
Is it so bad to want to see
everywhere that isn't here?
In the grass up on a hill
Outside the city, I see you
Dear empty onion house
Peeling and the feeling I get
Unwrapping you
For brighter insides, scrap the outsides
So much of me that the world cannot see,
I have to try to see it as beauty
For if every condensed thread of my being were to unwind to the world
Might I as well not exist? Questions to these answers may not unfurl...
I walk down
the blank road,
the life I lived
behind me.
A trail that
only ghosts walk,
the empty void
within me.
Time is an illusion drenched in space.
Unyeilding.
Unending.
It stares you in the face.
Look away and it does not.
For if it did you would vanish without a trace.
wrestling with an impression of myself,confidence scant and creativity diluted,I found solace in the arms of a soldier who decidedmy dreams encompassed all the world-just not the war he was fighting.
In the beginning, God was the only one who had the gift of existence and he shared that gift with us.God also gave the gift of existence to Jesus and the angels and if you ask me, that was generous.
I’m staring into the eyes of a man I don’t recognize.
He looks back at me, eyebrows raised.
His expression is cryptic, yet exuding empathy.
“Don’t you look at me like that”,
I am a poet
Not because of my name
Not because of my works butbecauselike youI am a work of art
Born from the rocksDustGasChanceAll to create me
Poetry
A glimpse into eternity
lapsing, lyrically
without the confines of time or space,
through the void that is no true void,
humbling a soul like mine.
I did seek the awnsers,
On Einstein's General Relativity :)
Time unbroken,
pushes it's eternal expanse.
A dimensionless space
gone with every fleeting glance.
Men of the experiment,
Where will we be when the future arrives?
Will we be nothing but dust,
Filling the ground with nothing but cobwebs and our sadness?
Or will we be memories,
Some days I long to be like the ocean
Gently drifting in a world of deep blue
And exotic life forms.
The crest of my waves protect me from the terrors of hate
And even at low tide
I am still loved.
One thing I cannot live without is my book.
My book is knowledge.
To live without knowledge
is like living without words.
Words help create a vision.
I envision my life without my book.
existence is fragile
every moment is fleeting
I can not help thinking
this will all be over soon
days pass so slow
but one day you will look in the rearview
everything's behind you
We bloom only to wither and perish,
it’s safe to say that life produces death.
So why chase life you don’t need to cherish?
There is no reason to take the next breath.
What is our innate reason for our existence?
Has it always been burning bright -
Brighter than the fiery red that fills the sky
In an instantaneous sunrise?
In some cases, our core has flowed more intensely
Radiance emitted from beyond
this cage,
made palpable through a hole
tiny in size,
seemed to quell my rage
fear let assauge,
curiosity continuing to rise I set off to
To be is awesome.
To even truly exist
is fantastic what a feat
of probablistic chance.
And a dice roll universe
struck Yahtzee with none other
than yours truly.
What absolute insanity
As life passes by, our sight slips away,
Unable to see what's incredible.
This world is changed with each passing day.
What seems meaningless is most wonderful.
Water falls from the eyes during heartache,
One day without you,is a thousand baseballs to my throat.One day without you,is like being run over by a speed boat.One day without you,is like being trampled by one thousand elephants.
Sometimes
When night clutches the sky
I look up at the Heavens
And gaze at those stars
A feeling always seizes my being
As thoughts whirl around my mind
Because I cannot help but wonder
What is my purpose in this world?
To take up space,
to be a filler in an empty place.
The idea of existence has always been confusing,
Am I here to succeed?
Or will I end up losing?
I feel a huge need to express myself to anyone who is willing to listen.
There's Soo much of me bottled up, I'm spilling from the ceiling.
Right here, over here I exist I have feelings.
the breeze feels like feathers against my skin
and laughter suffocates me but i can still breath.
two beers
shots shots shots shots shots
dark souls filled to the brim with inebriation
TO BE VAIN:
How hard is it to understand one’s true intentions?
Faced with different interpretations, what is sky blue may be turquoise or teal.
I'm walking in the woods,
The leaves crushing under my feet.
I smell the bark from the trees and the life from the ground below me.
As I continue walking, it starts to rain.
A new life
Potential with no seeming end
A new beginning, no sign of strife
But to begin, however, is also to end
A military child
Moving from state to state
Staying up afterhours
Jazz beats and rhythms filling the air
These white walls
Pondering Pondering Pondering
Why Why Why
Where...
The world
Society
People
Only my echo responds.
"Oh," it says. "Anything else?"
I stop. I did not expect a question in return.
"No. I just wanted to be heard."
"Oh. Well, I heard you."
To mourn death or celebrate life.
We're always left with sullen strife.
Life, the tunnel of consciousness.
Death, the promising of mysteriousness.
My thumb is
genty caressed by
two hundred and
fifty pages.
Caught on one,
my eyes whisper
over the paper.
The top left hand
corner is stained
with the words
"of existence."
Forbidden crystals
And possibilities within
Soaring through the questions
Revealing secrets to wanderers
Unknown colors and shapes
Where paradise awaits
Adventures unfolding
When I think of the night,
I no longer feel afraid.
Not sad nor angry,
Just calm.
The night reminds me of us,
At better times.
When we would stare up into the great beyond,
He walks the streets looking for a way in or a way out
Seeking a prize that he cannot find
In the sky it cannot be seen,
So he seeks the earth beneath his feet,
Solid ground gives way beneath,
Life and death had a meeting
when life was old, dying, and pleading.
Death said hello with a grin, a dark greeting.
Death looked at life and said, "welcome back you look different."
They tell me that your love is one that can't withstand their reality.
They claim that all I need is a grasp of familiarity.
A look-see into the future so I can stop wondering where I ought to be.
I must change
I do change
I will change
This was the promise
I unknowingly made
when I was born into this world of beautiful malice
My freedom to exist and demand
Your presenceis not the effect ofa lovers’ private quarrel,though medical professionalswill tell you so.With their shiny toolsand golden,framed certificatesthey wave clipboards around
The only place where its not normal to be normal. humanity, humans, homo sapiens; we are so amazingly peculiar, different, the same. We are truly Simplicity at its finest; Long dense answers to a question that has never been asked. I exist?
I feel like I’m one dimensional
I feel like I’m the only one who sees how I see
I feel like the harder I try to be exceptional
The more flaws are pointed out to me
I’m scared of what’s ahead
How nice it must be to be a goldfish
Living in ignorance.
Sometimes it is the complexity
That wrongs our lives.
Best to learn from the fish
Happy and simple.
It’s something SO ingenious
(And nearly incomplete)
It comes from a great intellect
Be ready to read
To absorb my profound message
I suggest you close your eyes
Before my waking life, I was colors
I was the flowing frequency unheard
Undetected
Existing bodiless, yet connected still
To everything that ever was
A blinding flash of energy
The subway is never empty at night.
By midnigth the street pets come out.
They scatter throught out the subway grounds.
In search of memories people left behind.
Items of comfort.
The scent of rain on dry Earth.
Churning like seawater on a stormy day.
Rising from the ground like bluebonnets on a summer evening.
Petrichor is a delight.
Wafting about beneath soft grey skies.
I sit down in the window seatand set my bag down beside me.I need to be alone.The train begins its epileptic convulsionsand screeches from within itself like it has Tourette's,but my only affirmation
On her Pedestal she sits, yet she takes no pleasure from it. Both Comfort and cage she watches, wishing to participate, yet ever mindful of the consequences..
Emotion
Dripping
Down
My
Heart.
Thoughts
Seeping
From
My
Mind.
My soul is
Delicate
Beautiful
Untouched.
As words are
Formed
Within my
Body
Every day passes one at a time
Regardless of atrocity or an act of generosity
All continues without delay
This is what it will be
Creation
Of everything,
of nothing
Birth of lives,
Called upon by lightning;
A connection unbroken
Unexplained,
undefined,
unmatched.
One touch
Creates one world
Today I don’t exist.
I’ll be the sound of the falling tree that no one hears
I’ll be alone all day and won’t take a thing away from the world
Because today I don’t exist.
As I read the letter you gave to our class, I am overcome with the sense of my weight on this earth and get the bizarre feeling that I am shrinking literally down to the size of a speck. If you could even call me a speck, I would be honored.
