suicideprevention
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I sit at my cafeteria table surrounded by many but feeling alone.
I look out upon the place that is supposed to be happy and fair, instead
I see girls that drink iced coffee for every meal,
If only you could see the pain inside
My thoughts, they'd make you think of suicide
My mind is trapped inside of a cage
Begging to be let out, but I'm scared to turn the page
Memories of the past bring with it the associated pain
Sometimes it holds me down almost driving me insane
It's a pain that ive carried since that day remembered
The dark days bring with it feelings of a heart severed
Memories of the past bring with it the associated pain
Sometimes it holds me down almost driving me insane
It's a pain that ive carried since that day remembered
The dark days bring with it feelings of a heart severed
Sometimes I just wish those pills would have killed me
Took my last breath away
Its not like the hospital helped
Im still young and depressed
I still want to die
I feel out of place
Wanting to turn your life around,
yet wanting to die.
Wanting people to think you're strong,
but constantly wanting to cry.
Wanting to succeed,
but not having the ability to try.
I feel nothing
I'm so scared that's so bad
I feel nothing, nothing at all
not happy nor sad
Yet I feel so empty, I feel so alone
With shaking legs, a racing heart,
lightheadedness, a feeling of having
the entire world crashing down around you,
you take a deep breath
and start speaking.
The presentation doesn't go as planned.
My mom gave up on me before she gave me a chance,
I’m trying hard to forgive her but at this point I can’t,
My dad tried his hardest but even he let me down,
In the dead of a December I was new to town,
With as shy, broken smile and a permanent frown.
With not a thing to do and no place to go,
I’d linger the empty streets dusted in snow.
you sit in darkness,
alone,
scared,
and one day a single light
nothing too bright
but ever so big.
it starts out as one,
They tell me to talk
But all I could do is walk
I sit and think
But still I couldn't speak
Its too painful
Its too hard
To think about the song
That tells me when my life is gone
Her hand reaches out
As his pulls away
Grasping air
Grasping nothing
“Don’t…”
She whispers
Desperation near
When I was young HOPE was a big four letter word
But as time went on I believed a knife could ease the tensions of life
or that rope could cope but those were just other words I heard
Shaping My Own View Imagery is very important asset in my life. Lyrically I can openly be expressive without words and that has been my safe place for years. Did you know colors represents different words?
Let me go hide in a forest of birches And watch me drown as heaviness seeps Under my skin See me drench myself with fake stories With courage letters in them And watch me stand up tall
Land of the free they say, but it's the biggest lie to grace the ears of humanity.
Fast as a ticking clock, you're shot.
You're shunned, shoved, murdered based only on the gender you love.
Or based on your own gender,
Anxiety is irrational Nana, but you can't understand can you?
I cool my impatience like an ice cube on my tongue, remembering she's no longer young.
So many days.
Too many to count.
I've sat here alone, quiet, no sounds...
Silence and sadness were my only two friends.
Stealing and eating my life from within.
So many days.
It comes in shadows, slowly hovering above you.
Neck tied up in mud and just like that you’re drowning.
Thoughts in your head restrain you from climbing,
Ears red, heart black, life blue
It's like I see myself different, because it's my view
Sadness carries you through the skies
I can't find my door out it's like I have these unwanted ties
Some say that pain is something that feels forever
but is only there well never
and depression
we decide we will make our obsession
As the leaves change color through the season
As the daylight slowly dwindles away
The mind gradually finds its reason
While the soul obtains its reason to stay.
She sits in the corner in silence
With headphones in, she tries to escape the violence
The night plays over in her mind
Memories play over and over every time.
Her family is a wreck
I am not a statisitc.
It is shown that there is 1 death every 13 minutes by suicide;
Suicide takes the lives of over 38,000 people per year;
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in all ages
It's time to move on
Day one, the blood is gone
The scar remains, the pain's the same
But be willing to stick it through
It's a new day,
same challenge faced by a new you
A Light, Yet FarThrough dark and dreary roads, I traveled.Soon all light began to fade, and die.Losing all hope and will to live,Traveling through a far and distant land,
her soul told her she was alright
but society told her otherwise
the mirror only brought her despair
she didnt feel comfortable anywhere
her heart was so heavy, her mind so light
There are no obituaries for Sylvia Plath.
A fact that I find most interesting.
For a revolutionary in free-form poetry, a less-than-silent sufferer, a martyr at her own hand.
She is a symbol.
Am I selfish?
To want to leave this world.
My body cold and lifeless.
Am I weak?
To want to end it all
ignoring the people who care for me.
The don't understand my struggles
my pain
Blue is the color of her shirt as she shines bright.Blue is the color of her dress when you take her out on a first date.Blue is the swipe of a pen in the poetry she writes.
The thread that ties me to you
Is soaked in ether and stretches even deeper.
This thread is of the worst kind of blue,
Even though it was your favorite hue.
It's purple in the right light,
I love to smile, why? It lights up the room yet hides the truth. What really lies behind you ask? Deep dark lies? Swallowed by emotions, I try and hide it but I'm gasping for air. But why? Why are people so blinded?
Yes somebody cares about you
You dont know but might be me
some people are destinated to not see
How different you are
just like I am
Some people are destinated to see you
from inside the soul
There's too much discrimination, too many uncaring hearts,
Some people only laugh when others are torn apart.
Whether its racism or sexuality, no one seems to care,
Judge by the hourAll they want is powerAll they want is to see you cryBut it's only liesIt’s not the truthEven though they have the proofJudge by the hourBut they are the cowards
Flay the skin away
Piece by piece
Layer after layer
What am I now?
Am I
The words tumbling out of my mouth
The thoughts rolling in my head
The despair deep in my heart
Here a girl of 17 sat playing with her nails.She wore black and was thin and very frail.Her dark brown locks hid her face as she stared blankly into space.
Around around on the merry go round.The little girl shall never be found.The merry go round is here to stay.The little girl has run away.Up and down the horses go.The little girl hated school she had wrote.
White Frosting here and there.Putting flowers in her hair.Color of red stain to decorate for this joyous daySome powder here, a fix up there.Now its ready for today.Getting lowered into the ground,
When surrounded by peopleI need space.When alone my thoughts surrounded me.I cant breath.
Im confusedtiredhopeless.
I dont understand, and at this point.I dont think I want to.
Cheeks hollow
skin cold
lips thin
collarbones.
Shoulders bare
Straight thin hair
no stomach to hide
space of thighs.
All is calmjust shallow breaths heard.Drip driptime slows down.
Your life fades past like many times before.Only at the end you find yourselfat a different door.
A little like leads to love.
A little hug leads to comfort.
A little tear leads to a sob.
A little smile leads to a laugh.
A little whisper can lead to a crush.
A little hope leads to faith.
She wakes up in the moring and immediately vomits in the bathroom.
She shrugs at the sight of an empty refirgerator.
Darling, you'll be okay.
You are being irrational.
Take a minute and just breathe in and out.
You are a beautiful human being.
You serve a purpose on this Earth.
You have people who love you.
I am flawless
But not in that way
I am flawless
Because I live today
I dreamt of suicide once upon a time
And I literally thought
That death would be fine
I looked down the barrel
We're all suicidal telling others that suicide isn't the answers. Telling the confident to set their ego aside. We can all be good but, the good one's tend to hide.
For as long as I can remember,
my best friend was me.
Until I started to turn on myself,
feeling trapped rather than free.
I felt ugly and worthless
inside and out.
Being stuck in my head
Crisp and clean,
A perfect Christian pristine,
With rosary beads stringed together with pearls,
White as purity and perfectly soft curls.
It all closes in on me
I’m suffocating
Gasping for each breathe
I can’t fill my lungs
There’s not enough oxygen
The pressure eats at me
I’m worn down
Struggling to make ends meet
Driven through darknes she lies, looking up in the skies to fake a smile filled with nothing but lies.
A simple smile acting as a barrier
Preventing the world to understand
hardships, heartbreaks, hurt.
Daily life is a chore
no matter how many times it's repeated
difficulty, depression, danger
Survivors who have stood so strong
And who fought for our freedoms
Lose sight of how much they're loved
And how much they have done.
Brothers, sisters, family, friends,
This emptiness inside of me,
I really can't explain
how everything I try to do
slowly fades to grey.
Imagine yourself standing
in the bottom of a pit
no way out
no way in.
You look in the mirror and you see
A human being, to you, that's just not meant to be
A person who will never be
But it's all a lie
But you don't see
Because you're trapped
In darkness
"Hey, how are you?"
I say, "I'm fine." Totally fine.
I'm always fine...
It's truly a superficial question; no one wants the truth. They won't dig and burrow, they wont try to tunnel into my thoughts.
I am a Painter of Another Day
Another sleepless night,
Another day avoiding glances,
Another day pretending to be happy,
Anothr fake smile,
And another day hiding the scars covering my skin.
Four in the morning, mother was screaming
But the screams weren’t in anger, only slightly in pain
But mother and father smiled moments later
And everything changed
The voices are everywhere
Saying life will never be fair
They're screaming at you
Saying there is nothing you can do
Your only escape is to end it all
Whatever you do, don't give in,
The solution is never dying.
Look up at the sky can't you see that you're flying
around the sun, just so fast, a blink of your eye and the stars fly past.
And this big blue marble could shatter like glass
This one's for the kids that don't have moms.
This one's for the kids that don't have dads.
This one's for the kids that have social anxiety.
This one's for the kids that suffer addiction.
She looks in the mirror and sees all her 'flaws';
Eyes empty, heart broken.
They told her again she wasn't good enough;
Hands shaking, words unspoken.
The scars on her skin are still visible;
We all feel like we’re worthless
I’m not good enough
I’m not pretty enough or thin enough
Or I’m too short, too tall
I feel like my parents secretly hate me
And I’m the joke my friends are laughing at
She puts it in a note
Its all there.
Everything she wrote.
She was angry,she was pissed
No idea how much she would be missed.
Its like she was in a game,
But its not exactly the same.
Why do you judge me like you know me?
What did I ever do to you?
I just don’t understand
How the people around me have gone so mad.
I did nothing to deserve your hate.
Dead.
The pain pounding
The agony acidic
Burning through
As you suddenly realize
She is no more
She was wild and creative
A spirit unlike any other
If I could change one thing,
I would bring back Jeremiah.
If I could change one thing,
It would be the last thing I said.
If I could change one thing,
I would say "You are loved, never give up."
They remember those days
Days full of pain
As their mothers wiped their tears away
They don't understand how anyone could be so mean
They felt like they are shattered
And their happiness torn
Lift me up take me away
Make me feel alive
It seems like my soul is stuck in a tray
As I leave my heart to the side
Change is a powerful thing
Sometimes it brings us joy
And sometimes sorrow
At times we do not see it affect us
Desperate measures call for desperate actions.
That's all I knew.
I sat crying in front of my sister,
Hurting so badly I pleaded at her,
Please just kill me.
She looked at me sadly asking innocently.
The hoodie peeked through the closet fold-
The one that changed his life.
Wanting to relive our innocence,
I pulled the box of notes and photos
And found his last letter.
His stress shown through this time
shut them out, as I suffer to breathe
Where are the words?
Can we talk instead of scream?
My opinion remains unheard
The violent escapade
on the frigid ground, I laid
he charged at me,
Strong enough to stand alone in a blitz
Bombarded...
Deception after deception after deception
It will never stop
It will never seize
It's life's cold hearted tactic made to rid of the weak.
You watch me walk down the halls,
you know who I am.
Don't you?
I guess you think you do, I'm that smart girl,
maybe I'm that smart guy.
The one who's dorky and smart,
Maybe I'm dark and alluring,
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning
A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle.
When the veins in the neck
Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw,
Blood pressure rises.
Hey little birdy,
The one by my window;
I see your colourless wings so sturdy
And those dark eyes so hollow.
Birdy, take me with you.
I want your freedom;
I want to fly in the blue.
Understanding that not everything is what it seems was the first step.
No one really knows what is going on inside the other person’s head; I’ve always known that
Shall we dance with the devil,
among the many spawn of hate?
Shall we submerge to such level,
of a world with every dreaded date?
Shall we revolt from this darkness,
carrying the baggage of past displeasures?
Family is supposed to understand your pain
Family is supposed to be there to keep you sane
So what happens when a family falsely cares?
You keep smiling and take all that you can bare
We are the Outcast, The different ones
We call ourselves the Unwanted
We sit and slit, and watch till we can’t take anymore
Until the blood goes stale and the river runs dry
You're cold shoulder, bipolar high roller disorder
Is sympathetic, arithmetic, epidemic kinetic
Cope the rope and tie up the noose
Pull it too tight the limb will break off loose
Eyes once open now closedLips once the color of a rose.Resting in a bed of silkNo more feeling any guilt.Skin of porcelainEyes like glassNo sound other then the windWhispering through the grass.
This is a letter to a friend.Who thinks no one is there.In times of need, in times of grieve.When suicide feels like the only answer,spreading like a cancer,through the mind, the soul.
I wobble my way down the narrow hallway
my thoughts are an epic mess
the bright light I'm following is so far away
yet I feel I can grasp it I must confess.
Frilly dark ripples, made of Death.
My love, he brings me flowers.
Petals break, break the surface of lies.
The once painful black,
Gone, and now I am alone.
He cannot hide, and I reflect.
