Am I selfish?

To want to leave this world.

My body cold and lifeless.

Am I weak?

To want to end it all

ignoring the people who care for me.

The don't understand my struggles

my pain

To never want to breathe again.

It's suffocating

unbearable

This wave of depression comes where ever I go.

My very spirit is nothing but a cold sore

a disease

The essence of me is distinctly no more

No one knows my passing thoughts

because I plaster a smile

They think I'm fine but I'm not.

It's so easy to believe the false perception.

So superficial.

Easily falling into my trap of deception.

My desires

Is to fully diminish

the last remanants of my soulful fire.

I'm ready to die

to leave it all behind 

That's what I want most in my life.

Am I selfish?

A Coward? 

Who tarnished her relationships because thing went sour?

The answer is yes

but just so you know 

till the very end, I tried my very best.

Goodbye