coming of age

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The lapse is finally found... No utterance, no sound. What “love” there was amongst this feud... Was sorely mistaken & totally rude.  A whisper, a laugh, a killing joke...
  i met the devil last night she wore my face and had slinked on my body like a coat she looked like myself, though a few years younger
Here it goes My name has been called No, not by my pessimistic professors, Not by my mother’s irritation. It’s being called by a higher being You see, I am but a small piece
  A small brown girl sits in the middle of a poorly kept lawn, the weeds sprouting all around her.    The oak tree is shaking in the wind, and the leaves are falling.   
What sets a soul aflame, is the breaking of restrictions when one is finally tired of the limits of their own affliction who wish in their heart of hearts to be free
We were about to move  again And he said we needed to paint the garage He didn’t explain why  but he never does  
It wasn't a sudden realization, but suddenly, I didn't fit my tutus or ballet shoes, I stopped sleeping with plushies piled on my covers, I quit counting my steps as I walked.  
When Momma told me not to do something, I used to listen. I had been conditioned. Conditioned to take the words she spoke as law and ignore my own supposibly inferior intuition.
sunlight behind him, a whisper of those three words, it’s all different now.
She always keeps her memory in her present. Lest she forget and all will be to no avail. She keeps her memories in an arsenal of introspection in preparation for the battle.
Mosquitoes and boiling heat--no scalding heat. The matchbox of a room that was now mine was just that. Smacking at my arms to stop the mosquitoes from eating me alive, I was unimpressed.
Welcome to the old me where days of freedom were abundant where was I free to do as I pleased where I was enveloped in disregard for other’s opinions where I was more of myself than I was of them  
The melody no longer rings the same, and no, the harmony is not to blame. It’s the years spent in an orchestrated song filled with root beer chords, where the days are long.
He is thirteen Navigating school hallways and people and the nooks and crannies of his developing body But one thing he can't figure out Is what's wrong with him
I love my mother I love her warmth I love her wit I love her fearlessness and admire her endurance I love the way she loves strangers I love the way she loves me   In adolescence,
the biggest change happened during spring of junior year when i saw my father  cry and i realized that those who seem the strongest are those who are most broken I realized that I
Drugs were addicting. I suppose I enjoyed seeing everything and feeling nothing. Though I did kind of feel alive - to be staring into the face of the Grim Reaper. He once wrapped his hands around my throat.
It was a foolish mistake to think that I could escape from you.Even if I wanted to,You seemed to lurk in the shadows.In the dark I could hear your laughter;Knowingly mocking my vulnerability.
We bat our lashes in secret Hoping for tall, dark (black) and handsome to feel the signal miraculously             And come swooping in to take us home, nestling us in ever lasting Lust
When you’re four, you ask your mom why a dime is smaller than a nickel One larger than the other, yet only the worth of five pennies Your mom still buys you matching sets to wear to school
I sit there at the lunch table with my friends Listening and smiling Inserting the occasional comment to make the others laugh Never stop smiling “Never have I ever” they began
finally found someone who makes me happy, so why cant mom just be happy for me  she doesnt even know him and she chooses to hate is there something im not seeing 
  0.   Light, air, the world itself. All new. Words have just been spoke, and movements being learned.
I’m not really sure how to start here So I guess I’ll start with something like Hi My name is Jaime
I’m not really sure how to start here So I guess I’ll start with something like Hi My name is Jaime
They say 17 is a number associated with spiritual growth Next month, I advance to a new chapter, a new 18 So I reflect on what’s changed and what’s remained 
  I went bowling with my mom once. It was 10 o’clock on a Saturday night in the middle of September. I think this was the first time we’d went bowling in about 9 years, but
I'm raising my glass I'm showing what I lack Here's to the start of a joined era full of messes left to sort out To sharing shocked minds and smelling our brain farts
If poems could weep sweet dripping words that speak the heart's pounding defiant secrets once forced hushed to a peep, then let my pen stir rivers and streams,
I come back to this town, And it is not I that has changed; But it.   The streets; They are empty.   The houses; They are dark.   The people; They are cold.  
Dear future me, I hope that you're smiling. I hope that you can say that you're happy without lying.
Dear God, I can see my whole face in the pupil of my eye. I can eat a whole piece of my mom's pumpkin pie. I can handle a handlful of the diamonds in the sky, but why try when we're all just gonna fly
Dear Womanhood, Thank you for your strength For teaching me to hold my head high For giving me the will to fight   Dear Womanhood, You have made me cry
to the girl who was always painted red:
  I stand barren until very late spring in a yard of evergreens and hundred-year oaks young and a stick figure, not enough rings under my bark.  
Mathaya,   I, your author, write To encourage you for the Coming days ahead.   My main character Is you; you’ll learn hard lessons. You’ll come through each one.  
they say we don't write letters but I wrote 'em just last year christmas alone the only thing I wanted was to speak but he was    cities   towns   states  
What an interesting feat to recall What Hannah was composed of in January of 2017   What made her tick? What kept her going? Junior year was kicking her butt That memory remains
Pain in the Ass   From the moment I was born I have been a complete pain in my mothers ass, literally, red faced and over eager to escape  where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
Pain in the Ass   From the moment I was born I have been a complete pain in my mothers ass, literally, red faced and over eager to escape  where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
Dear God I am so afraid I am so afraid of being wrong Not saying 2+2=3 But of being so damn wrong in who I am So damn wrong in my choices
love to grow   i. Baby Love   When I was a child, I spoke as a child The most musical language I’ve ever known
The testing supervisor told me He wasn’t sure he should give me a license But that I had technically passed. What does that mean? He didn’t trust me and neither did my mother The both of them said
Three hundred and sixty five days are enough to make you a different person. Enough to make you grow, enough to knock you down, enough to make you live. These days are filled with hope, despair, luck, Lessons.
there is a house on 8th street with low ceilings and kitchen cabinets painted lavender
It had taken my friends away, and now- it wanted to take me too.
A rose-hipped girl with legs closed tight Sits staunching an ochre river. She’s sure of a weeping snake with teeth Red sunk into her belly.
Growing alone, Behold the self-doubtThe crying, the lying, the gritting of teethWatching others ascend while your mood still depends on your peers.Fingertips brush edges where there is no apparent jail,
I’ve found my tribe Finally, finally, finally After years of girls with Perfect hair, endless happiness   Look at them go, look at them
We run to the Lies that tell us Everything’s gonna be alright If we use them   And that sounds stupid But us teenagers
I was in the school library at lunchtime Looking at a book entitled ‘When A Friend Dies’. I felt guilty, because I wasn’t grieving at all I just felt really sad.  
 'Seize the day' they say, or else you'll fade away. This is the final age, before we take the stage.   The golden age of seventeen, we dance in childhood's final scene,
PART I:    just.    one.    breath.    For that is all it takes  -In and out-  To escape the chaos and relieve the doubt.     
It started with me falling in love No not like that I didn’t fall in love with a boy, or girl, a moment in time But I fell in love with words At the tender age of three
Day 1 Trigger-happy gigglersWe laugh on instinctErupting roars around the roomlike criss-cross apple sauce trip minesToo short for ridesCondemning tattle-talesSelectively breeding kickball sides
Senior Year 17 and 18 year old punk kids Who used to be prodigies, geniuses, beyond their years We were told we were so smart
It's almost here So close I can see I'm past the fear So filled with glee Ready to walk the stage So excited for a new chapter Finally finished with an age So filled with nervous laughter 
When the universe was arranged, All creation from a bang, Every grain, Every cell, Every atom flew out. And like all matter careened about,
If I don't know where I'm from, you ask, how will I know where I'm going? Fair enough. Here's my best answer: I am from a little boy crying because I turned his amoeba of green paint into a t-rex.
She was always different Not in the way of the kid in class whose only friend was imaginary And not in the way of the most popular girl, with a posse catering to her every whim
Constantly in pain My own thoughts driving me insane Life is just a drain But the misery is only in my brain   A family that is perfection Offers me protection I am the infection
Kindergarten first day I was late, Doesn’t play well with others. First grade Mother’s Day, I can’t read, Maybe I should be held back, Second grade, JK— Rowling lit a light inside,
Young girl, 14 years old
When I was 3 years old a do
I had come to realize the pattern in which the seasons of my life came and went and how the colors of the sky were warm and bright each night before the dark cold breeze came and stole it away.  
Is that why they drink? So they don't have to think? so they can pour all of their troubles down the sink?   Is the present so rough? The transitiion so tough?
If I could I would write novels about this black hole in my head  about how it manages to twist every horrid thing into poetic drops of pain.   Damn, even that makes it seem better  
  Standing on our two feet Living without regret or defeat. We are what Rory the roman  will wait a thousand years for a woman.  We are those who will rise to greatness,
Well I live down on the beach,next to the green Florida Sea.I like to dig my toes in the sand,sipping some sweet ice tea.  My red lips can rock your world,I’ll have you down on your knees.
The first time I met you I thought little of you Now I know you for you I like you It's been eight years since then, I love you   We started as friends then best friends then sisters
A tattered old man from the east approached Spouting words of a God I'd never known
12:00 ,  March 19, 2014   Today is my birthday. And even though the feeling of one more year was liberating, I couldn’t help but notice
Through my eyes I see, The angel within me, The blood of virtue in his veins, As he casts his divinity.   Through my eyes I see, The devilish rebel of sin, As his relentlessness rises,
As a baby, I laid and cried in my crib Observing the sunlight peering through my window
    I wrote this to see what it would be like in a girl's position,
There's that point in everyone's life Where it all comes to a head In everyone's head We think, "What do I do? Where do I go? How do I get there? When is my time?
When I was a kid I was gonna be married with kids at this point When I was a kid I’m still a kid—still feel like one I watch cartoons and wear fuzzy socks and my parents pay my bills And my parents pay my bills
Me peeling fingers, ripped from innocence, diving into adolescence. What is it that makes them this way? The fall from ideals, the way my skin peels, and cracks and drys like never before.
  You captured my heart from the start With your sense of humor you filled my heart Oh but I didn’t want to admit it to myself or anyone else
Eighteen is seven months away, Each day I’m learning a little more about what adult means. It’s the time in our lives when diapers and pull ups are exchanged for boxers and thongs. Our sippy cups for have changed into
"End of the River" I can’t see, Please! What’s to be? It’s known, what could, Living in the woods.
"You're Special" That's what he said But what you said was      that I have better things      to do with my life But life is meant to be spent       with happiness all around  
Not everyone gets this opportunity      to find someone like you I take it all in; One day at a time But you're always on my mind ¡Oh it's just a first love! But no matter what place it's in It's Love
You make me happy And what's more important         than that It's a fact - happiness makes         the world go 'round That's why I always want         you around me I dont care what they say, 
Tell Me Is this wrong Is this typical      tested, tried, & true It makes me blue      with fear; this tested       tried, & true It feels so right But this wrong
Follow me back to a moment in time A memory for me. In a crypt. In my mind. Waiting for him, it's an hour past five In comes Drew with his broken blue eyes. He sits across me in a cold seat that grinds,
That feeling of uselessness Unable to fulfill the desires of them What did they want of a child in the first place?   A child in his teen years Leaving a note for his mother
Ask me who I am, and I will not hear you, for I am deep within this crowd calling out my own name. I will not know the sound of my own voice until it whispers back. Until then, I will spend my hours
A broken girl you see with a flawed family she hides up in a tree playing hide and seek too old now for the games she is consumed by all the flames the girl she wants to be
I’m from Six months in a clustered, condensed, claustrophobia-inducing, Guidance office Learning that I’m normal.
Swelling and beating when I think of you It's as if I envision you here fingers tangled and all My heart selfishly desires to be melted with yours Past heartaches never mend and for a boy his heart never bends
My mind is broken full of tears a never ending storm of stress and anger. My brain a continuous rain cloud My mental and emotional state is shattered beyond repair.
Gliding along the wooden planks As coals of emerald Kindled his face I caught a glimpse of a transfiguration. Soft winds swept up my cotton skirt Past polished shoes and mounds of earth.
Mommy, I wish you never painted my room pink. Why weren't the walls white? Why did you let me choose the sparkling sandcastles as my border? I remember them glistening like my tears do now.
It happens so quickly. You go to your classes, you do the same thing every day, and then it hits you - you're not a kid anymore. You see your older friends leaving high school.
I came all this way to ask you to watch me leave through the backdoor Of a house I call child’s play. To hold my hand as I cross the line I call my childhood And abandon this child like mind behind
The questions in my mind, Answers hard to find. If I may be so bold… How can you be so cold? Temperature below zero, I’d rather hug my pillow. Indifference cuts right through,
I once knew a child whose burden was light With a heart so pure and eyes so bright. They sang and danced to music no one could hear With the voices of rain whispering in their ear.
I don’t know why I don’t know why I see the stars and I meet the sky And just like that, I hit the ground I don’t land on my feet, but I can hear the sound
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