Welcome to the Old Me
Welcome to the old me
where days of freedom were abundant
where was I free to do as I pleased
where I was enveloped in disregard
for other’s opinions
where I was more of myself than I was of them
Welcome to the old me
where I spent my days in leisure and play
where I spent afternoons on street corners;
playing ball
where I flew cartoon kites sky high
where I ate frozen juices and too sweet candy
Welcome to the old me
when I slept all day
and played all night
when I worried about high scores over popularity
when I made friends from affinity and not from my possessions
when I was ignorant of what was to come
Then it came.
Thrown into the chaos of junior high it consumed me
I cared too much about other’s opinions
Cared to little about mine
Sadly, I cannot swim as the tsunami of emotions drowned me
Friends became foes
Bikes became cars
Kool-aid became sodas
Self-Love became self-loathing
I became them
No longer was I a free child but an entrapped mind
Following the turmoil of junior high
The chaos
The media was a beacon that I unknowingly followed
I lost myself in them
An epiphany came when I was at my lowest
alone as all the friends I thought I had vanished
disgusted in what I had done to others for others
lost in an arctic sea devoid of warmth and light
confused in what to do next
Then it came.
The glow was more than a change in age
but a change in character
I was no longer a free child nor a lost child,
but born a new
Self-love replaced self-hate
I learned to lift others instead of crippling them
I learned the joys of passion and the arts
I learned the freedom associated with becoming a leader
Instead of a follower
To believe in yourself and others
To approach everyday with optimism
And to live each day like it was my last;
or as they say Carpe Diem.
My glow was not one of appearance or friendship
One of character and pride
Self-love and joy
Dreams over doubts
Optimism over pessimism