lonliness
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It lives in lonely, restless, quiet nights with no one to talk to;
In physical imperfections screaming from reflections in the mirror.
The monster underneath my bed
Sang me lullabies in the night
Which quickly turned to nightmares
And gave me quite a fright!
But as I got older
Your mystery and beauty, to know it I once prayed
A leap of faith to reach you, fallen broken and frayed
Invisible in a crowd, alone like no other
Through faceless strangers I see you, in the arms of another
i lost a little more of you today
there must be a wormhole in the bathroom
because when you walked out
you couldn't remember who i was
i showed you the television
I close my mind and my eyelids remember sunflowers.
my fingertips reminisce the top of sun soaked country road pavement.
my back still feels the sun
my ears memorize the breeze of windows down, 55, Hozier blaring.
I'll never understand the way you left and why.
Forgiveness will be difficult, over three years went by.
In all that time you never called or hardly even wrote.
The reason people turn cold is because the body can no longer handle the fire constantly suffocating us from the inside.
We've learned the more you scream the more smoke invades our lungs, choking our voice.
Hello there, little warrior boy
Are you getting lonely?
Cheer for the saints,
It's the demons who own thee.
Fall up and bare arms,
Against king's of decree.
Learn how to let go,
Who am I?
But a demon in the deep.
I might not be like you,
But I still need air to breathe.
Is it you who will drown me?
You who force me down?
I fight, not for a victory,
Smiling away
Stuck in a cycle
Earning their pay
The same expressions recycled
A feel of dull colors
No escape from the future
A mirage of numbers
Where is the humor?
When did my feelings become second to yours? Why are my opinions wrong and absurd? When did my silence become your turn to speak? Why, to you, am I small and weak? Why am I bad even if I’ve done nothing to you? Why, when I give the world, do you a
Whose blessing like an aimless leaf
I believe that juice is what makes me reckless
I fall in love too quick
A smile and i'm gooey with the knees
You laugh at a joke I hardly speak
and it's night I weep
All alone on the coast
With no time to tell you so
How much you meant
Mean to me
Now youre gone and i'm all alone
How the sun's shining
Never will be the same
Like the day you left me
i need someone whose gonna love me and nurture me during my ups and downs For i cannot walk this path by myself But it seems falling in love and settlin is not the plan mother venus has Forget fallin in love just being loveful is how im gettin do
I dreamed of home last night
Home
The dream was dark and silent
There was no plot, setting, or characters
It was me
In the dark
Time heals all wounds
But never the invisible ones.
They linger in the shadows of my mind
And they prey on my contentedness
Ready to mutilate my life at any moment.
Once they do
They leave.
I find myself
lost in the ocean
but not the one that you think of when
you think
'ocean'
the liquid is my own thoughts
drowning my talents
discouraging my mind
the water ever-deepening
Where has it gone?
the time when
Happiness was a
a light inside
the soul?
It has been so long
since these were felt.
All that remains
is a vacancy sign;
flashing to a highway
Every time I write
I just want to find a way
To tell you the same thing
With words that are new
Every time I write
I hope this time someone will hear me differently
Every time I write
Dear Siblings,
You’ll never know me
Not as a sister,
More like a mother
Amelia, when you learn to drive
I’ll be 30
8 years younger than
Our parents are now
Dear everyone, someone, anyone who will listen,
Does the darkness scare you too?
As its cold stare freezes your body;
motionless.
Its been around so long, I consider it a friend.
I didn’t mean to choose this.
I didn’t ask to feel like this.
But I do.
I want to feel like normal people do, but I realized that I just cannot.
there's this jellyfishstuck in my headhe swims there day and nightand lights up the darkinside of my skulla bioluminescent, fluorescent jellyfishswollen and pinkhe likes to shock me
Because you love me you sat up all night
Despite having work the next morning, early
So I could cry over nothing
Because my anxiety told me “Warning: OVERWHELMED”
I wonder if you know
what you do to me
or what happens
when you look into my eyes.
And I wonder if
a heart could break
from strain of
staying away too long.
Sometimes I'd rather die than continue to be swallowed by this deep, dark, depression of mine
It's like a black hole that won't let go, and I can't escape with an inch of my soul
Waves crash
The thunders roll
Thrashing upon my drowning soul
How long must I await
Before it becomes too late
Only he holds the power to save
But does he know of the pain
I wake up trying to wash yesterday off of meOr out of me..All the thoughts, twitches, and goofy tears...
As I read the text, I am frozen in place.
I’m crumbling inside,
I’m fine mom, just give me some space.
I can’t run or hide,
Every dream is not meant to be remembered
But my dream of you I could never forget.
Searching for your light through the darkness
For the slightest traces of your flawless silhouette.
I started it again yesterday,
slicing open my skin with a broken razor blade.
I hid the broken peice of sharpened metal in my makeup compact,
and I cried all day.
We were friends right?
Were we?
No, we weren’t
Why don’t I have an excuse for this query, at least to please maself……?
You said he is my zephyr but how can it just tear me off?
The wind blows
Trees shake
I'm all alone
in the hot sun
While the others laugh
and play around
I sit here
without a sound
The wind blows
Trees shake
People, people, people, we need people
We need others to push us to improve
Without them our good character is removed
I am
Exhausted.
Sleepy to my
Very core.
Worn out.
Hollow.
Point or pointless?
Friends:
Pros and cons?
Love, comfort, joy.
Worry, pain, lies.
Escape is easy,
I'll always have these memories
from when times were better
no arguments...
or awkward silence
One by one
with each approaching year
I become abandoned
slowly, as time passes
some lonely only child playing hide & seek alone tags her reflection and dances away... she's king of the hill with no one to rule, and ring around the rosie just leaves her dizzy & sick...
i'd like to find a lonely place to scream & not be heard...
a place where i can go to cry & not feel my tears absurd...
- 04/04/1996 12:21am - kenneth p rougeau jr
I sit in a room full of people,
Looking upon teary eyes and blotchy faces.
People who knew him longer than I,
Better than I,
Who shared jokes and stories and laughter and tears.
I listen as they speak,
On nights when onyx raindrops start to fall,
I’m often met by memories that I miss.
The way you shone, like Helen, o’er them all,
The way your ruby lips had felt to kiss.
I think of how I held you ‘neath the sky,
If you come across a lonely girl
With words as fine and frail as grains of sand,
Tell her that most oysters lack a pearl,
But do take into yours her tender hand.
The cold and the confusion.
The overlooked and the overdoses.
The solemn and the silence.
The fatigued and the forgotten.
This is the only world I know.
No one listen,
No one hear,
No one look ,in case you disappear.
No one pray for,
No one to cry,
No one to wait for with hopes kept high.
No one to miss,
No one to kiss,
Alone again, hallelujah! Alone again.
This year the same as the last:
Scraping the bottom of the barrel,
I became the shelter, a safe haven, a building of four cement walls and a celling.
Study enough to survive the storms, and the battles outside of my doors.
Your sweet breath kisses my neck
And your fingertips leave a trail of stars down my spine.
I am saturated in your warmth.
The vibrations rooted in our chests collide with the pounding of our hearts.
I lie in bed, drowning in its white sheets and feeling trapped by the dull grey walls that surround this oddly shaped room. I notice every imperfection this awful place holds. The cracks in the ceiling as deep as a canyon.
When the ocean is far awayand the wind is full of sand instead of salt,I dive back into the green pools offorgotten peace in your eyes.I swim through lakes of cheap vodkaand expensive memories.
What curtain? Where?
Do you mean my shower curtain,
Torn from the wall ages ago? Oops!
I feel so alone,
for I have no place
in this world- but to roam.
And every face
looks down upon me.
Disgusted eyes with a false smile.
they ignore my silent plea,
so I walk another mile.
I'm looking in on a life that's not mine
Its not even a nine
You got me jealous
Acting all over zealous
You're far from perfect as can be seen by your life
I am where I began
alone, to face the troubles.
Trying to find peace, with none to be found.
Hoping to find what I want;
No Luck.
Disconnected, left to fend for myself.
I must grow up, must find,
I have this weird obsession with the cold.
Perhaps I’m simply
Fascinated
With familiarity,
But it knows just the right ways to freeze to the bone
Leaving the numbness of my heart
The hollow persists in the space you've wrapped aroundBut the inner circle containsEmptiness, loneliness, painLike the drip, drip, dripThe flow from my brainIt never turns off, never goes, never slows
I don't know what happened,
For everything just went black
Feels like the world just stopped
Now everything's just turning bad
I Cant dry the tears falling from my eyes
With my heart beating so fast
Jimena hates living in this world
She comes to a point where sanity and insanity become whole
She struggles to understand the meaning of her existence
Seventeen
Im done
Im sick and tired
Of your shun
Its icy
Blizzardly
My price
Is misery
I suffice.
Im sick
Im done.
Youre not the only one.
My head, it hurts
The reflection I see is not me.
the person I want to be, is someone that I can't be.
the things I say and do are different then what I want.
I'm a person, who is lost.
can someone find me?
The reflection I see is not me.
the person I want to be, is someone that I can't be.
the things I say and do are different then what I want.
I'm a person, who is lost.
can someone find me?
Soon will come a day
A day in which my life begins
The beginning of my time
where my clock finally tics
Waiting inside this darkness
I met you
You camoflauged and kept yourself hidden
I am a stranger, everywhere…
I am unknown to no one but myself…
Rain, rain…go away as they use to say…
Though, the beauty I saw, no one understood me.
I see relief, and serenity.
It sucks to be alone
Rather be alone than with deal with fakes
Bestfriends???
I'm not sure they exist
Not talking to many people
Is something very rare
Having to deal with things alone
Once a man that had to fight,
Spent all his life at a decent height,
He used his size to scare people away,
While his grandma had loved him every day,
Yo dad
You remember signing my birth certificate?
I bet you were so glad
What about when I first got my ears pierced
You remember right
You were there when I shed those tears
In childhood I learned, as the books I loved would say, that if you're pretty and it's earned, someone will take you far away.
Lonliness seems to hit at all the wrong moments,
Like the wave that hits the shore so violently, even your body shivers.
What is so unexpected is you sympathies with that wave,
Can a love be forever binding?
To return when others cripple
As thought of extraneous suitors sour.
Relic of the time that has tick tocked,
Souvenir of the heart's gift shop,
i don't matter
like a snowflake
every one
different and beautiful
all in their own way
yet all the same
as they flowly fall
into reality
no one notices
they fill the world
My heart is of a cold bottomless chasm
Ever since you left me in this barren and wretched world
I seek for your comfort and embrace
Yet, everything is still in my way
You confront me with your fears and all your selfish desires
But have you ever thought that your obstacles or hurdles you've compiled?
You never lifted a finger or even got off your ass
I inhale embers and spit fire. You're fireproof. Wishing in vain you'd be engulfed by the pyre. You're fireproof. Say it ain't so that when the lights turn low the fire doesn't light the room.
fffffffffffffIn the dark of the nightBy the light of the moonI sat without frightKnowing he would come soon
Voices haunt my sleep.
Soaring shadows awaken
my soul. Falling far,
far, far down into the depths
of ruins and caves you left
empty for my arrival.
Confused
With no one to talk to
I'm so confused
How will I vent to hold down the tears
For no one seems to be here
My mind is so dark and weird
With no one to talk to
I'm so confused
Nothing seems to work
Nothing could ever be said
I am never heard
Nobody can hear
Nobody will listen now
I am never heard
Silence is comfort
Silence is my company
I can't wake up, I think I’m still dreaming Lost, alone, my mind still teeming Screaming Back to reality I'm stuck between yesterday and today When I cried and begged you to stay To say We are infinity
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!I wake up to my alarm going off...another day,another scar. I slowly get out of bed and set to my morning chores.I take a shower, get dressedthen I put on the darkest make up,to express my feelings. I skip breakfast...
It’s hard to miss something you never really had, But that’s all part of not having a dad Don’t get me wrong, I wish he were here, But like always he’s no where near. He’d be angry to know I’ve lost all respect,
She walks, shivering under the snow's falling, warming the bones up the best she can. But her body's lean and fragile, vulnerable, a target. Her body does it's best to defend against the winter's harsh chill, but its so difficult.
In a large round fishbowl- trapped in this world. Fed lies and sold to whomever would buy.
I see things that are out of reach- like the caring souls that look on in pity- that don't have the means to save me.
I'm a statistic because of my family.I'm the derivative of a broken home.A shattered background of instability and hardship defines me.The remnants of my childhood are just bits and pieces
Sinner are lairs who sweetly
Roll a golden red apple into the world.
Like bombs they go off boom boom
The wandering wind, a playful dog,/ Floats into the city, desperate for love./ Nudging people playfully, puffing, blowing lovingly,/ Would be satisfied with the slightest smile,/ But not even that is given./ They zip up their jackets and go on the
She stares in darkness
her smile twisted
her eyes blackened
Who is this demon?
Tears of blood fall
she screams in pain
oh God, my sweet God
Where are you now?
Kiss my stained lips
A mirage upon the endless sands
The heat whispering for you to sleep
Your body slows to the movement of the timid wind
The will to survive has vanished like the waters
Sometimes it burns
When someone says
“hello”
The opening line
For a line of conversation
To be ended with the line
“good bye”
But instead says no such line.
That person will just leave
The Hope,
It sits there.
Right there.
Trapped.
The Hope,
Is yelled at,
Is tugged at,
Yet it sits there.
Right there.
Waiting.
Alone in this dark room, i begin to ponder
About lifes goals, so I let my mind wonder
Venture out into the depths of my thoughts
And invision how well my mind has been taught
Picturing myself as whatever I want to be
I see you
Your hand is raised
You shake with anger
I have bruises
I have to keep them hidden
I can't let anyone see
Its my fault
I can't let them know
I'm afraid it'll hurt more if I do
In the early evening, I come home from the park.
And inside my house there are shadows in the dark!
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
Here we go again
The record players broken
Its hard to miss
Hearing all that’s unspoken
I’m sick of this
Waiting for the lights to go out
I. Summer, the dramatic scene
As the stars are blinking,
fading in and out,
the bright moon smiles,
slowly rising in the navy blue sky.
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
To travel alone,
Through a lonely desert.
Everywhere you look,
Dunes of sand.
No one to share your company,
No one to stand by your side.
Tis a lonely world, this world can be.
What is loneliness?
One might ask
Is it a black hole?
Destroying
Annihilating
Everything around it
Leaving nothing behind
