shy
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lovely wallflowerwhat you see is what you get~ sheer simplicity......Mark Toney ©️ 2021.11/4/2021 - Poetry form: Haiku (for you)
I wonder if you're ashamed of a life almost wasted.
Strung up and hung up on the drinks you never tasted.
Wondering if all the eyes looking at you even care.
Do they even know if there's a soul left in there?
I will speak my mind
with the courage I can't find
my words and needs left behind
do my best to keep you blind
leave you thinking I'm kind
but really I can't speak my mind
Sitting in the middle of a room filled with chatter
Even if I had an acquaintance here, it wouldn’t matter
No one is truly a friend
do you see me?
when I rush out of the room
do you think 'who is she?'
but my presence doesn't loom
do you see me alone at the table?
the way I keep to myself
do I seem readable?
I don’t want to be quiet anymore,
(that really bothers me.)
I want to fill the silences and make people smile.
I don’t want to be lost anymore.
I wish I knew where I was going, jumping on trampolines and through the gardens of my thoughts.
I'm introvert, I'm reserved and maybe shy
The same society that thinks a happy, playful child will turn wayward Interprets too quiet as dumb, so I'm dumb!
But I have the most amazing things to say,
There's a boy I know
That mostly sticks to his own,
He doesnt speak much
But hald assed insults,
He closes his eyes
More often than all of the time,
Shy boy
Quiet boy
Tired boy.
I pity the souls who fail to see
The wonder and beauty a story can be
Whether it be the delicate blots of black on crisp page
Or the utterings of grand tales around stone set ablaze
And in the silence
i thought of you
of the words that never left your lips
the touch that never found my body
the air that never felt our dance
the wind that never heard our song
I met this girl who did not like talking.
I felt so bad I wanted to start crying.
I tryed talking to her to get a understanding.
That's when we started chatting.
Turns out we both liked anime.
I look at you
but my mask won’t let me speak
I open my mouth
But the sound of silence steals my words
I go your way
But the brave beast scares me away
I smile
And think thought is realized
I am a deviant, an enemy of normality
An ally of abnormality
At war, everyday fighting against social norms
My ernest desire is to be on the other side
Fighting for normality but I have never qualified
The thoughts that hide within the back of the mind
The words we think but not say
Of the people not heard when they speak
Your hair flows within the cold winter breeze
and the scent of it causees me glee.
I feel strange as a girl
to enjoy hair of this earl.
Its curls have enticed me to approach thee.
I hope you are okay with me.
No one is like me
This is a blessing and a curse
No one is as detail oriented as I am
No one thinks like me
God why can’t I talk fluently to others?
My words become indistinct, just fragments
In my head their fervour cause a shutter
An impact captivating like a comet
When she sees him her heart flies.
Yet she tries to hide her feelings with lies.
Deep inside,
She hopes they will die,
He looks at her with wonder.
She seems different from the others.
I don't know why,
but my heart flutters when I see him.
That smile that seems so bright,
That laugh that warms the air,
Those eyes that gleam with hope.
I want to kiss that smile,
HI
I’M TYPICALLY PRETTY SHY
AND THAT MAKES ME A CARPET
THAT YOU HAVE TRODDEN ON
EVERY DAY SINCE I MET YOU
That's not how it works,Being a wallflower.There aren't perks.The reality is, to make friends,you have to talk first.
what exactly must i do
to attract the gaze God gave to you?
and what exactly must you hear
to suddenly know you want me near?
i know it's nothing i can say
to change my image in your brain,
When I was a young girl
Is when I first noticed
My bashfulness got in the way
I had so many thoughts that swirled in kalediscopes and
So many dreams that were swinging high above the trees
I think whats going on in my lifeWhy are these things happening?Maybe I'm too shyWell I'm not really that prettyI'm uncomfortable with myself
Orlando
like a moth to a flame
my tongue rolls his name
Orlando
They can see my soul
hazel, with specks of gold
Orlando
Caramel melted on his skin
yearn to hold him
Orlando
When I'm alone, I frown. When I'm around you, I smile.
When I'm alone, I cry. When I'm around you, I laugh.
When I'm alone, I want to die. When I'm around you, life is worth living.
Tucked away, hidden.
Secluded in the darkness.
Wearing the silence like the skin that covers my body.
Hardened like an icy glacier.
I was the night.
I was broken.
He was awkward and clumsy
And rather shy
But there was beauty in his honesty when he was stuttering
And there was sweetness in his inherent need
To ask permission for everything he did
It was a little sad
I am the one who lurks in the corner at the school dances.
I am the one who struggles to keep my voice steady when presenting in class.
Little bird,
Why do you sit and write those words?
You never speak
You never sing
You're voice is so pretty but you're never heard
So speak,
Little bird
What are you afraid of?
I'm a creeper.
I listen intently but never join in.
I sit in the back so I don't miss anything.
I'm invisible.
I have a name but don't want you to know it.
Silence is the enemy,
Never too far away.
Other fears have begun to flee,
Yet it seems to linger and stay.
Why must quiet fill the room
Every time I go to speak?
Help me
I'm Drowning
In a Sea of
Misunderstanding and Shame.
No Boat on the Horizon.
No Comraderie to Protect me.
Isolations was not Lonely --
Was not Frightening until --
I may seem shy to you
I may not talk when you see me,
but when you turn your back
I can't shut up.
I talk and talk and talk
to animals, friends, and family.
Do you know the real me,
I squeal in the silence of my bedroom
When I am excited
Because I am just me
I sing out loud
While my headphones are on
Because I am just me
I listen to myself talk
I am labeled with words,
Shy, reserved, quiet,
And I am judged,
For not going out more,
Not having a plethora of friends.
I don’t think before I speak,
But I say what I mean,
My sound?
Is a silent night, I have no music
no beats, or rhythem.
My sound?
Crickets on a summer day.
When I was born they sang.
My sound?
Is a soft noise
Afraid to meet their eyes
Afraid to look away
Afraid to speak my mind
Afraid of letting silence stay
Afraid my true colors will show
Afraid they'll never see
This is just a glimpse inside
Silence both at peace and war. Wanted and resented, silence consumes the world and all who call it home. For years, all throughout the start of my life, just as most children, I thought silence to be, a stranger of my actions.
This fear I feel is formed from my imagination. Constantly contemplating where my life will be stationed.
My mom likes to think I'm just like her
That I love crowds of people and constant noise
That I love calling all attention to myself
And that I like conflict
My mom thinks I hide my real self from the world
The pale ghost stares at the filthy mirror.
He sees not himself; with that happy scowl and playful temperment.
The pale ghost makes the suface clearer.
He sees not himself, but his own warm disembodiment.
Stress, sadness, fear,wory. I have a mask to cover
that up. Boredom, anger, doubt, loneliness, confusion,
regret. I can hide it. There truly is no know emotion
Why can't anyone see the me that is truly me?
All they see is a mask
That does the un me task
the one that shows no fear
the one who is not really here
I wish to show you the me that is really me
They made me wear a mask when I was younger.
Days went by and a new stitch was added to the mask.
It was starting to fit my face perfectly.
"Do this," they said.
"Do that," they demanded.
Who am I?
I am strong
I am wise
I am smart
I am brave
I am a leader
I am independent.
But behind all these qualities...
I am shy
I don't speak up for myself
Our eyes met
over
and over
and over
again.
Ocassionally our glances interrupted by a body or two
blocking our sight.
We were
exchanging shy smiles
out of politeness.
You sit there quiet as can be
You scroll through your phone or maybe searching for a tweet
But when you look up and I look into your eyes
I see no fun
But your smile radiates more than the sun
Just a shadow in the hall.
Everyone sees the shadow when they need help,
But she disappears after.
Just a resource, not a friend.
The shadow has spunk and humor within her broken puzzle,
All my life I found it hard to properly express myself
oh father
what has happenedto you?
what on earth stole from you your guitar?
and told you to stop singing to your baby girl?
oh father
theres a darkness that settles in your eyes thsese days.
I have known this space for awhile now
But like some old jeans i grow tired of it
The thing that i thought protected me
Stops me from reaching my potential
The space that i enjoyed
I am lost.
I am lost in the
Spaces between words
Rather than words themselves
My voice too meek for anyone to hear
Or understand.
I am lost underneath
The people that engulf me
Hey man, don't you see me crying out for help
I'm feeling something that I feel no has ever felt.
Hey man, I'm right here I am sitting in your class
But it's not like you have time or will ever think to ask
I'm not the shy one.
I'm not silent.
and I only sat at the back of the class
that day because I was late.
and I didn't speak
because you never asked me,
because you thought it was kind
Not meeting your gazedoesn't mean I'm hiding somethingI'm just not comfortablegiving you temporary accessto my soul
“I’m not shy, I’m just quiet.”
My friend says without lie
But I can’t help thinking to myself
“I’m not quiet, I’m just shy”
It isn’t that I don’t want to talk
Or that I don’t like anyone
I stand here
Never seen
Never heard
Never to speak
Not one single word
No one takes notice
Or stops to stare
For if I don't speak
I'm not really there
Hand over brow, sweeping
horizon
over and over to find
something new.
Head over heals, falling
in circles,
don't even realize you don't
have to look.
You do have to lose.
When I was small, my father said that poems need to rhyme.I trusted him - why should I not? My brain was as a sponge.But now that I am old enough, I'm sure to take the plunge -
What’s the point of exhaling,
When no one wants you to inhale
We are all a bunch of hypocrites, you know?
We say we love, but
We stab each other in the back
We say we heal, but
I write because
I am human.
I am the quiet one.
I cannot get the words out when I speak.
But when I sit down and place the pen on paper,
they come out as if the dam has broken.
I'm a listenerI sit back, I watch the showPerformed by those around meAnd I don't mind
I prefer it this wayI laugh at jokes, nod in agreementTo the conversations others haveI don't feel left out
They are the only two who don’t know. I am the only one who knows their hearts’ desire. Two shy hands with sparks in their eyes and secret hopes.
As a young child I held in a lot of anger,
Negativity, rage, unlocked power.
Such an opinionated mind never exposed,
Due to my shy need to keep my mouth closed.
“The words never come out right!”
Talking to people is commencing culture shock,
A metal rod am I, resisting the thunder shock,
My heart has a gate that says “stop”,
Isn’t it a door with 4 sad locks:
The 1st says, the future failure of heart breaks,
A girl with a silent struggle
Words caught in her throat
Carefully blended in
Edges too blurred
Easily missed.
Someone with a name
But a name of no distinction.
“What’s in a name?
You think I'm scared of sounding stupid.
You tell me it's all right, that I'm "mysterious,"
That you se the cracks of sunshine bursting through my mask and you want to smash it and set me free.
Your warmth is like the sun: it radiates, everyone around feels you beaming
You suspend yourself in the sky, far away from me, and everyone else
I’m out there, too, like the moon I’m hidden by your light
Everyday the same routine
Time passes
Is this really the life I dreamed
I wanna be
Spontanious
Active
Free
There eyes
Judging
Turn around
Don't look at me
My personality
I do not speak for a number of reasons
In a number of places that all sound the same
I wrap up my ears no matter the season
And hope that the noises die as quickly as they came
You spent your early days in silence.
watching from the sidelines
but never really participating.
they threw those cruel words at you
through whispers behind your back.
with your small ears you caught them
My name is subject to change;
I stray among the others, freezing in their shadows.
This beating; the beating of my heart.
Pulsating with courage.
These trembling hands, they'll be the hands of a hero.
People don't realize that in my eyes I see the truth that they try to hide.
I know their lies that they try to vocalize.
Their shifty mind not placing me in the background,
Looking around,
Noticing their breakdown.
