The Trembling, Rambling, Just Her
Rapid breath
Trembling hands
All signs I’m scared
Standing here
In front of them
I reach for my security blanket
When it’s not there
I panic
I can’t touch it
Push it
Hold it
Where is it?
When it’s there
I move it
back into place
even if it hasn’t fallen
far
down
my nose
And after I am just her
The shy girl
The quiet girl
The new girl
But I’m really not just her
I am just scared
Judgment in the eyes
Of peers pierces my soul
Makes it hard for me to
Bad thoughts, assumptions
That I’m mean
That I’m stuck up
That I’m a female dog
It doesn’t make sense
I know, I’m
‘Mind reading’
‘Fortune telling’
Being unrealistic
But the fear is real,
It’s paralyzing
Behind my square shield
I’m more than
The quiet girl
The shy girl
The new girl
Behind it I’m
The singing girl
The writing girl
The story girl
Behind it I’m
The happy girl
The empathic girl
The honest girl
Behind my square frames
My large square glasses
I’m a girl
longing
for
companionship