The Trembling, Rambling, Just Her

Mon, 12/01/2014 - 00:16 -- Destark

Rapid breath

       Trembling hands

All signs I’m scared


Standing here 

                       In front of them

I reach for my security blanket


When it’s not there

         I panic

    I can’t touch it

            Push it

                 Hold it

Where is it?


When it’s there

 I move it

  back into place

   even if it hasn’t fallen



                        my nose


And after I am just her

The         shy         girl

The        quiet        girl

The        new         girl


But I’m really not just her

       I am just scared


Judgment in the eyes

Of peers pierces my soul


Makes it hard for me to 


Bad thoughts, assumptions

That     I’m         mean

That     I’m        stuck up

That     I’m      a female dog

It doesn’t make sense

                                  I know, I’m

                         ‘Mind reading’

                 ‘Fortune telling’

         Being unrealistic


But the fear is real,

    It’s paralyzing


Behind my square shield

I’m more than 

The      quiet      girl

The       shy       girl

The      new       girl


Behind it I’m 

The singing girl

    The writing girl

The story girl


Behind it I’m 

   The happy girl

          The empathic girl

                    The honest girl


Behind my square frames

My large square glasses

I’m a girl






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