done
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Why am I being shamed for caring about you?
You said I was the reason you were mentally unstable
I was the reason you cried yourself to sleep
You have it all wrong
Sitting in front of the door with the tears streaming down my face,
Knowing that there is no way that I can get out of this dark place.
Just as I thought things were turning around, life decides to take a turn,
It took me a long time to realize, but I have finally learned a lot about you,
And that even though I thought you were different, your actions told me that you areexactly the same by the things that you do.
For the longest time I kept blaming myself, trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
Why was I never goo enough for anyone? Was there something wrong with me that I wasn't able to see?
My heart aches and yearns,
my eyes have no more tears to shed,
like experiencing a drought
my mind can't think straight anymore, it can't focus
you fill my head, day and night
i am weary
I cry, but only by myself
Constantly I reminisce about us
Red was the setting sun, setting your silhouette ablaze
Your smile which shined brighter than any star
I keep wondering if you think about me still
I’m in pain,
all the time.
Everyday is agony,
im tired of this fight.
let me show you what I mean.
So, I’ll make my cake
out of shotgun shells.
Light it up
like a candle.
I don't even know
what I have left
anymore.
Not my family,
Not my friends
(who I don't want
to talk to),
Not trust,
or love,
or compassion,
or understanding,
I been waiting for forever
And nothing’s getting better.
I always care too much
Wish that I could say whatever
You know what?
I'm tired of the bullshit
Oh you wanna talk?
Maybe I'd have time if I wasn't I fed up
Always mouthing off
About how you this and that, not!
You always on this hype
Y'all sleepin on me
But I ain't a bed.
Tried to love
But now that's dead.
Cuz all these years y'all fucked around
And put shit all in my head.
Like I'm ugly and unwanted
God please write me quickly
i'm running out of time,
my family has no time for me
and i can't say goodbye.
it's not the words that stop me,
nor their meaning make me cry,
Dear TBD,
I need some time.
But-
You’ll ask why and I dont know how to tell you
Its you.
Time.
That is the spell keeping me standing here.
But-
I’m not sure how to fix this.
As I write my final letter to you, I don't feel any remorse.
In fact, I almost feel relived to know that little parasite is gone.
I know I put the parasite on me, and I let it drain me for so long.
Bullying seems only to me to be
The single thing that’s keeping me from you, but not you from me
You laugh at me, you push and shove,
I run home crying, to pray to the man above
Ask him to help, in any way he could
Today, you were with me.
You laughed when I laughed,
we thought alike so often.
Yet you seemed different,
sad about, something.
I wanted to ask you, but we're still being repaired.
A terrible year
That’s the least you could say
With every doctors that looked at me with sadness
To the words that suddenly came out
“You have cancer”
So close yet so far, to freedom and death.
Freedom from hurt, pain, abuse, chains, bruises, tears, fights, cuts, offensive words, breakdowns, loneliness and depression.
Life and it's meanings are wretched
I'm fucking pissed bitch just test me
I'll snap your neck effortlessly
And punch through your brain cuz it's empty
Do me a huge favor
Dont come back
I have let you in to many times
Ive gotten to a point id let you come back forever
so dont,
this way we both get peace
Maybe I wont move on
But
I never really understood this,
You were my "person" , meaning that i'm in love you with you, wantint you
You are in love with another person, wanting them
My heart used to skip a few beats because of you
They smile
Well-meaning intentions
But how it hurts
Your brow furrows
You frown
At the impudence
You speak as if
You know me well
But knowing me
As a child
Does not mean
I'm done with all of this.
The shit I go through daily.
The unexplained silence,
As bad as the fucking words I hear.
The judge mental glance a sharp dagger,
That had stabbed me in the back forever.
I can’t place it
I want to cry but I’ve passed that point
So far deep
releasing this would require energy
and I have none.
I’m furious and it’s overwhelming
I’m angry at myself
I am so sick and tired of seeing “new year, new me”
New year, same me
Same world
Same trees with same leaves
And same subways, same buses
Nothing else changed, why would I, why would you?
I'm stuck
in my head.
I've run out of luck
my brain and my heart; they bled.
I'm stuck
and I just want to get out.
Climbing through the muck
my head just screams and shouts.
Angel
My Angel,
Stop flying,
Stop searching,
Stop remembering.
What you're flying for,
Isn't worth it.
What you're searching for,
Isn't there.
What you're remembering,
Why do I hang on the past
when I know I should look forward?
Why do I care so darn much
when there is nothing to be offered?
Why do people believe in fate
when in truth, no such thing is real?
I refuse
I refuse to let you define me
Simply because there is no defintion
I am who I am
I refuse to let you attack me
You may not accept me but I do
I do not need your approval
My heart is breaking,
my faith is shaking,
too much is what all of this stress is taking.
Can't calm down,
can't look around,
on the outside I smile.
On the inside I frown...
So tired of life,
Time. Time was what I needed
To let butterflies escape
To let the memories fade
To let the thoughts of you to go away
But it brings
My anger towards you
My hate towards you
im done with you tonight
officially
you are now in my past
and i will no longer regret the time i wasted spent
remembering you
and hoping youd remember me too.
I say its clear that you don’t care
whether i live or die
to say you gave your all isn’t fair
cause you didn’t even try
Save me the tears
To my desire,
As I look over these words
that I’ve wasted on you,
I realize that I’m only
causing the forests’ destruction.
Why should I care
if you don’t love me?
She died of a broken heart
falling asleep with the
sound of Love Love Love
in her ears.
She had no emotions left to give
She was done.
She was done-done-done, girl.
She was done.
This half of my bed
Has been crying for you, asking where you've been
and who you've been sleeping on since then
Some open book you were
So open, I could see the dotted lines on the pages you scribbled on
And everyone knew how to read but me
These hands, that you once held
I gave away to the wind
because at least they know how to hold something
Pour my feelings into a jar and seal it
That is how I feel inside
I can't breathe
Gasping for air
Reaching out for someone to unseal this jar
The jar is about to fall and shatter
You
You are unfair.
You
You put my life on pause.
You filled my life with terror that demands to be felt.
I feel so utterly replaceable. I feel like feeling anything at all is dangerous.
i hear your voice and i subconciously smile
and i feel your warm embrace around me as we softly giggle over the phone
"did someone just call your name?"
"no"
"oh. maybe it was my heart. maybe it needs you"
i hear your voice and i subconciously smile
and i feel your warm embrace around me as we softly giggle over the phone
"did someone just call your name?"
"no"
"oh. maybe it was my heart. maybe it needs you"
It’s hard to be here and not shed a tear.
To pretend to be fine, while I’m dying inside.
Useless and lost my worth is gone.
Can this ever have a Happy Ending?
“Try a bit harder, please let me in.”
I took my first final.
I passed.
I took my second.
I passed.
I prayed and took my third final.
I passed.
I prayed, cried, and took my last final.
I passed.
Strength is now only a word
Mock me again
I know now that love is lost
Dreams are ashes in the air
All that is beauty inside is no longer
It is now a rugged mountain
Of no hope
I used to think that bubble wrap,
Was the best way to go.
That touching the world,
Through a pane of glass,
Was better than feeling the warmth,
Beneath my fingers.
I’m giving up
So sorry
I just can’t anymore
I can’t keep trying so hard for naught
And I can’t waste my time
I’m giving up happiness
Because nobody gives a fuck about mine
So why should I?
they found he razor in the shower today
because i forgot to take it out.
thye looked at me with dissipointed eyes today
but ppretentded they knew nothing about.
they heard me gagging in the bathroom today
Lonely face while he walks the streetWater from my eyes like sea salt-laden galesThe last they heard from him was a tweetAll she wanted was to hear a taleThe Moon was bright as a lamp-post
she,
the fallen one
has lost
and as of this moment
she, withers away
without a sound
she, the fallen one
cant go a night without a pillow
drenched with tears
filled wih screams
I'm done
I don't really care anymore
I'm tired of this shit
Disappointed, again
I'm done
Count them as they go down.
7, 8, 9, 10.
This is taking too long.
Where did I put it?
Why can't I find it?
What did you do with it?
Did you hide it from me?
I don't see why.
She used to be happy
She used to smile
Now that happens
Only once in a while.
She doesn't get it
Doesn't see why
It's all because
He's changed her inside.
He acted so sweet
hope
Is it the only thing able to change everything for the better?
Is it the only thing that is able to change people?
Is it what drives people to keep going despite the odds againt them?
You exhaust me.
That hardly describes it.
I wish there was a better phrase for putting my emotions through a spin cycle.
You didn't even hang me out to dry.
Who are you treating me like you do
It seems like you don't have a clue
I know I deserve better than this
I'm searching for an everlasting bliss
I can't believe I let it get this far
Uneventfully I awoke.
Unsurprisingly the sun beating hot on the single paned windows –
Caused dew drops of moisture to form
Dragging myself out of bed,
Discarding one used shirt for another,
Love came with you, engulfing me like a flame.
We were supposed to be forever,
But all that’s left is blame.
You promised you adored me like no other
Aren't we all lonely
Aren't we all sick
sick of eachother's talk and shit
we fight, we cry, and sit
all to just swallow and forget
Engrossed lies
regurgitating goodbyes
Weave me through words to be heard.
Break my heart as my fingers feel out the words.
Cradle my trust with an untitled promise.
Let me fulfill these things through writing poetry,
or let me be done.
The four years seem to flash right before your eyes,
Goosebumps appear as you tread down the empty hall the last time.
You feel as if ants are crawling in your stomach,
Every one going separate ways to college.
I am 17
5 years has gone by
since this began.
You've caused me pain,
you've caused me nightmares
and now I'm done.
You were sentenced yesterday
20 years
and now I'm done.
We act meticulous.
We think mysterious.
We walk alone.
We're never done.
We become lazy.
We get hungry.
We never cry.
We never die.
Having traveled these halls many times
I arrive, now, at the final chapter
So that I may finally make my path
And walk toward life on my own.
Since fate holds that I can not stay,
I will leave you all behind
It’s the end of senior year
Time for laughter, time for cheer
So many memories in these halls
Teachers, students, windowless classroom walls
Freshman year, just starting out
I walk up to the front of the classroom and
hand in my final exam and
walk out.
I walk through the dirt parking lot,
a brown pit of muck from yesterday’s rain, for the last time
this semester.
I watched you burn today.
I wrote your name on a piece of paper, and told it
All the things that you never wanted to hear.
I watched you burn today.
I spoke about all the times you made me feel
