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Leaving a hall of discord and Still grieving for all my mistakes Then returning I'm seething at what I have found And the counsel of higher life Still leaves me burning
Dumb blonde Was she even blonde? Perfect princess curls Dainty yet American face Perfect woman, so they say Beautiful and dim-witted Wealthy? Perfect act All loved her
Not everyone sees me Some may not even now that I am there Not everyone knows who I am Some may not even know that I exist I hide on stage, back I am a name on paper, not a name in lights.
I am supposed to be Anne Frank But I just feel like myself, pretending I did not think that I would have been able to feel all of these eyes on me when I signed up for this.
The lights, they beam down with powerful visibility. The stage, outstretched and lonely as far as I can see. The audience, physically unseen, but I’m conscience of their stares.
Up on stage all lights and eyes on me and me alone Bare myself, my soul Choose me  my quiet heart voice whispers Thank you, next Callbacks Pitter-patter, hope List is up
Intermission has failed me. A trip wire was not part of my blocking- It left me on my knees. Broadway lights, turning off with a loud Shunk
always to infinity, I fight the lights that scream (they are so bright!) Location: The auditorium Characters: Me? Purpose: To stop my hands from sweating so much, oh God   this stupid costume itches   
A platform for Thespis and song,  I would like to thank the stage.  A barrier from audience and wrong,  I would like to thank the curtain.  A guide off the stage and on,  I would like to thank the lights. 
Swimming in the skyline Pools More like wells Wells of spinning No Stop Wells of dripping
Sometimes, the best actors are the ones who pretend everyday. They pretend that everything is ok, pretend like their heart is whole. Only around those they love can they break character.
The actors arrive at the theater, early but not too early. Naps are taken, conversations are had. Reminiscing in last night’s performance. Food is eaten, but not too much.
Blink bright light Sun dances Across my bare shoulder blade and cheek   Blink Pink hands Grasping sheets
Notes float through the air. It's unthinkable how much dots with stems can change a mood, a life, a soul.  The right chord, the right instrument, the right dynamics make the song come
I'm not playing this game hate to disappoint  but i’m not your little monkey that jumps at your tune, i’m not joining in and definitely not your partner in this cruel little dance.
My depression is like I’m swimming through a deep darkness Thick and black like oil My airways are blocked Panicking desperately to reach the surface But an anchor chained to my left foot
  When at the top there's only going down One becomes stuck But cannot stay for long It is better to go down than to be happy forever
Acting isn’t just fun and memorizing lines; It’s a complicated process that requires long hours, Impeccable technique, And good work ethic.   Acting gives me a sense of purpose;
Thirty minute call! Dressed in costume and painted new Everyone prepares for the show to do Fifteen minute call! House lights come up and music too A signal they have completed their cue to cue
I've got a face caked in makeup, and sweat pooling in my palms. I make last second prop checkups, and nerves have me forgetting verses from Psalms.  The curtain rises as the lights go up.
I sit on the eve of adulthood Having seen and done things That would have made 5 year old me Thoroughly uninterested.     I have witnessed the beauty of loss The same sterility and cruel coldness
THE AUDITION ROOM ALLY IBACH   I cannot count the number of times I have stood in a room being silently judged. Sometimes silent is not even the word.
The waiting is the worst part You wait hours upon hours To see the cast list go up The hours go so So SO slowly You wait and wait and wait And then you wait some more  
It’s the orchestra, using their heartbeats to keep time, pulsing with the vibrance of syncopation. It’s the crew,
I was born in January, many don't remember because often my birthday falls on the same day as civil rights day, and the oppression of rights is much more important
Everyone's listening,
Yes I can get a little over excited,  apparently I'm told I do the most. For as long as I could remember,  I felt more joy with others than being by myself or "alone." 
You see me smile, it's just an act. You ask me if I'm fine, I lie but isn't part of acting? You don't know that I've planned my escape. I want to see my brother who became an angel before he was born.
What do I do with my life? Should I sing, act or write? All the choices drive me mad Or is it that I'm bad?
Believing in yourself is key.
Let me step in someone else's shoes to be Alice for the time I'll have all kinds of new friends and shrink smaller than a dime
(Behind The Scenes):
I want to tell you a story
It can't be done. You can't act in films. You're from Missouri, where dreams grow to die, like weeds under the sun. They shout so loud, it bounces off the stars, meaning I can't even sleep to dream at night.
I went to sleep and I had this dream Bright lights and a brand new car They told me to go where I saw the yellow beam
The dream of a fool, Many might say We’re capitalist’s tools, As we’re on our way Surviving as slaves On minimum wage at Wal-Mart or K-Mart Striving for the day until we get the part  
With a word backstage When the audience becomes silent You could hear the sound of the safety pin holding together your costume Drop Curtain Applause resounds and lights search
I fell in love with this pastime, Now it’s my rhythm and it’s my blues. It became what keeps me going, It became my most heavenly muse.   It is said the ones who truly care about you,
"All the world's a stage," Macbeth said,  And maybe I believe him.
I feel the warm lights on my skin I hear the voices of impatient souls I see the opposing character to my side And I can just taste this sweet tasting goal   Every since I was a little girl
If I nail this audition If I get this part
All of a sudden you’re hit You think of an idea with wit Stare at the screen Don’t make a scene But silently say “Yes, that’s it!”   You write and act and edit You upload and then wait a bit
A stage Bright lights
A stage Bright lights
Isolate yourself then ask why you're so lonely. Tell you how I think, now I feel like a phony. These poisons were shared over and over before,  between you and I,  this darkness we tore.
In the curtain's shadows, I slowly breathe in. Eyes closed, mind awake, I bring to life A character who's pain is familiar to mine. She begs me to bring her story to life,
I was always told to dress the part so I put on my costume. A white collared shirt,  A skirt to my knees  And a mask of a forced smile Along with a face covered in pounds of makeup,
Cue a wave of gasps from the gallery As the leading man, up on stage he cries Emotion pouring into eulogy, Dead words rising for loves no more alive. We trip headlong into the tipping tells,
They call me the actress Because I like to speak I’m wild and daring Not calming or meek But beneath this blonde hair dye Stage make-up of rose Are thoughts much more deep Than what people suppose I see my own faults Though you would never guess I
Spotlight warms my skin, I have a rising feeling, All I have worked for, One shot for the role, And I know the lines, The audition piece is engraved in my mind.   My life is better on stage,
Acting, Like I'm up on a stage. Memorized the lines On every page. And the girl, The one that I play, She's the one That'd you'd like, And see every day. But underneath the surface,
I go through the day, acting like its all okay. I try to go unnoticed. Try but fail.   Failing... Failing... Fail...   I strive to impress. Craving for their approval.
Hey you! Remember when you told me I was going to be lead actress. because I was always at rehearsal time and I tried my hardest? Liar! You say you dont have favorites, but its obvious you love them more.
  I have been in school for thirteen years. Why stop now? Why end here, and leave my peers? It seems to me I still have  much to learn. About people, places, and talents I've earned.  
People are unpredictable. If you think they are who they say they are, then you're wrong from the start. You can only know somebody, if you truly know their heart. But how will you know that if they cover up their scars,
School life has never been for me, it never has been, never will be. Out of conformed society, that is where I feel free. The future is filled with uncertainty,
Wait for me. I'll be there; Head held strong and arms opened wide, Ready to take the world on. My voice to reach many people, My dance moves to get people jumping, My acting to induce laughter,
"Hollywood" , She said. That's my dream. Lights, camera, action.  A part of the scene. A comedy, a drama, a TV show. How will I know, if I don't go?  I'm leaving in winter. I booked I flight. 
The lights go down before the show begins. The music starts and it is time to act, To tell a story to the audience. I squint into the lights, so gold and bright. So much rehearsal has gone into this.
My mask a simple clear mask tied with a piece of string in play until the string snapped I clutched it to my face the tool growing no longer transparent The mask wears a Fools grin mocking me
The sun bursting through Dense clouds of despair and doom, Is this turn of time. The work completed, The pat-on-back I needed. Freedom without crime.
"Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch. Again." Wipe the sweat before they see. "Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch." Just breathe. Ignore the pain. Keep dancing. Show no weakness. SMILE!
Are my efforts even worth a dime? Or has this been a waste of time? We, in unison, wrote the rules and laws Happy and anxious we as we scribbled every clause
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