always to infinity, I fight the lights that scream (they are so bright!)

Location: The auditorium

Characters: Me?

Purpose: To stop my hands from sweating so much, oh God

this stupid costume itches 

the words I've memorized fall out like drool, leaving a puddle on the ground

My hands shake and I pray the audience doesn't notice

I kiss myself awake and I sing the wrong notes

and when I get home I cry about it

Because as much as I pretend otherwise

I'm not? An actor?

Why did I do this to myself?

Every scene is a piece of purgatory

a waiting game

until the moment I go to the wings and everything is fine again

The audience is filled with potatoes

So many eyes. Ha, ha

When I'm nervous I crack jokes

Sincerely,

The girl who is never doing musicals again

(but can now appreciate those that do)