saved
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To ask of my Mentor,
Is to ask quite a thing.
To ask of my Leader,
Compels me to sing.
His power and glory
Can't be known to the world.
His love and His kindness
Through my darkest days, poetry was there
I remember writing poetry when I was scared
People treated me like I didn't belong here
I remember asking myself "why is life unfair"?
I thought about running away
Since the beginning of my teenage years, I was a glass cup under a constant running tap-I was constantly overflowing with emotions.
You learn from your most frightening experiences
The ones that break your soul
The experiences that steal your mind and light
The experiences that change your outlook on the world
Looking back on life, I didnt know myself.
Did I want to be this? Did I want to be that?
I needed to go find myself.
I looked up and down. I searched all around.
I get tired
But tired is what I feel
I get weak
But weakness is only a mere thought
I get insane
But insanity is only a child’s play
I get soft
But soft is not me
I get jealous
I thought I knew
knew what love was
when he held me
mentally, and physically
I thought love was to be
yelled at
put down
stretched thin
with nothing within
but to not be alone
Pain, gaping hole in my chest, torture,
All consuming, obtaining me
Screaming, dying, depressed unchecked
With my clenched fist, white knuckles
Gasping
As I lay down to sleep,
I know The Lord loves His sheep.
I am lucky to have the previlege to be awake,
I know my birth was not a mistake.
You see, angels watch me through the night,
Life, mine own life I would take
Had not a hero saved my world,
Saving this life of mine only by existing
Unaware, that day after day and night after night,
This small creature to whom I owe my life
Into the darkness she started
Hole in her heart, broken hearted
She wondered through desolation
Tear-streaked eyes, no salvation
took control
it took it's toll
on you and everyone around
with bloody fists you pound
There once was a girl named Beige
She spent all her days in a cage
If ever she cried,
No person would buy
And she was left with nothing but rage
There once was a boy named Jack
Without him,
I wouldn't be here
Or anywhere.
I'd be nowhere;
I wouldn't exist.
Without him,
I wouldn't know family
Or love.
I'd be lost;
I'd be alone.
The man who saved me If your world is darkIf your eyes are weary and your heart heavy If you feel alone and forgotten If you feel like your mind is an enemy and it attacks you with more ferosity than a starved man whom you've stolen his last penny
"Called upun this story
But was it fear or fate?
Not in it for the glory
Don't want to feel their hate
But my life is not so boring
As for me? I'm no saint
Though now I know who the Lord is
"Stop with the lies
And the hate
And the hurt
Filled with their cries
Cause we treat them
Like dirt
A small child shies
At a hand
Raised to hurt
This word is not mine
I have a gold heart
I do
I do
I Have a gold heart
I do
They chip it away
They do
They do
They chip it away
They do
But now I am saved
I am
I am
"Listen," they say, "for his graceful whisper. 'I love you,' He says."
"Wait," they say, "for his healing touch. 'I'l heal you,' He says."
"Look," they say, "for his understanding guidance. 'I will lead you,' He says."
Heavens Rain
I do not know If my skin will ever be as clean as others seen
But i dream to let go of a constant stream..
Aesthetic symmetry floods me
Cigarette burns and bloody towels on my carpet make the world seem like a bitter lonely place
A place in which I stare into the mirror and can not recognize my own face
(This is about someone else, I'm a girl)
I'm a guy
Who partied until I almost died.
But,
A higher power kept me alive.
At 13 I sold drugs,
After highschool I got caught
Air, trees, and shelter
Hair, weed, and nectar
Material things versus Minor needs
which will benefit
the most when you breathe
seems as if the consequence is not acknowledged
until someone bleeds
What do I look like in a room of others thinking, thinking out of this world?
No one even notices me, I past by and I get a glance if I'm lucky
I feel gold though,
You will see a un-lit room.
Inside that room you can see someone.
That person is trying to find the light switch.
The person thinks they have found it.
Motivation starts to rise within this person.
What is your drive. Is it to get live. Is it to be able to dive.
into a pool of luxury.
where you have enough money to eat with gold cutlery.
is it to get that girl across the room.
Being understood, isn't always me
I cannot always say what's deep inside, you see.
But when I close my eyes, I hear the rhythms speak;
The times are deathly dark
Blind to the light
Cannot seem to escape
My dreadful fate
Who'll save me from myself
When no one cares to help
Surrounded by a sea of people, I close my eyes and listen: voices rumbling; feet patting, skidding, clicking; bursts of chuckles and snorts; sneezes shooting; people embracing. Now in the quiet I hear but more: the lub-dub of the heart
Causing my brain to diminish or maybe my mind really is going or is my mental health truly my own worst enemy.
You saved 'em from the knife, from the pills, from the booze
From slaughtering a beauty and all they had to lose
All it took to rescue was a few innocent words
A reassuring smile was the most clearly heard
I have always felt sick, wounded, and worn.
I have been sick since the day that I was born.
My body became my own worst enemy
Constantly working so hard to kill me,
Constant struggle.
Daily beatings, no matter what it is.
Feelings weak, so weak.
I shut down. about break.
Wanting to cry for help.
But only feel alone in a dark room.
They climb
Without a clue of a return
For every minute that turns,
could be the last.
As their wasting away,
they climb.
With the air depleting,
they climb .
to achieve
No more slavery
Shackles lay in shambles
No longer brainwashed
Liberated from myself
I am my own destroyer
Body, mind, and impulse
--But I am not I.
When crimson sprung
“Don’t let them in!”
I scream.
Barricade the door.
Board all the windows.
Cry.
“Don’t let them in!”
I scream.
Voices behind the door.
Scratching at the windows.
Panic.
I got a date with DestinyAt Hollywood Boulevard I studied it like AnatomyAnd I know almost everyone has given up on me butI need redemption no need to mention my past
said today to tomorrow: "hi,
we are the same. you have lost
a few leaves but seasons are meant
to change. and there is water
in me, water in you -
three-fourths of your clouds are afraid
Trains
Steady and strong, a titanic of force and power
The gears and cogs inside mathematically precise
Oh how marvelous a machine!
The earth trembles as it approaches
On the very brink of reality,
Hanging on the edge of safety,
Tweet, tweet, tweeting up, up high,
The in and out breaths, the deep sigh,
To jump or hop back to the nest?
Ever since creation our ultimate goal
was to become
Neglected
Individuals
Gracefully
Giving
Everybody
Remarkable
Soul
Black skin
eyes made of Gold
hot and red
a killer jumps out
taking lives
water pumps
big men in suits
help them all
scary boots
My Love,
You are my heart, my joy, and my bride.
For you, I took the nails and the wound in my side.
For you, I was beaten beyond recognition.
For you, I lived knowing I’d endure crucifixion.
The roads are dark, lost in direction.
No way to turn, my path is lost--
I can’t see, where is the Light?
Turn right, turn left, I do not know?
Wherever I go, I cannot see.
My heart pounds, it’s so dark!
Let me tell you a little story about a small town girl with many dreams
Dreams so wide, dreams so high that sometimes she believed she couldn’t reach
Throughout her life she wanted and wished for someone to hold her hand,
Time has elapsed leaving me with flashbacks Five years ago I was on the right track They said I was doing great/ The jury made a mistake/ He walked free from cuffs/ No longer myself life's rough/ Worst part he will touch again/ Not only me and my
I walked inside the shadows
Hiding my face and who I was
I had no voice
I could not speak
Choking on the breaths I could not breathe
I wandered quickly
Anxiously
I fell deeper into the dark
I may look different, think different, feel diferent,
But still I make the same old mistakes.
No matter how much I try to be different
My actions reflect those of a fake.
By definition I am a hypocrit.
Threatening waves crash over me,
they pound the life out of me.
I hear what seems to be
screams in the distance,
But it’s me.
When it began, no one could tell
How hard it was for me
I was just like the other boys and girls
Just with more energy
Never Had Anyone to depend on,
show me the way,
the straight way.
So I thought to go get it on my own,
Make it on my own.
Had it fixed in my mind.
I write to create a realistic image in your subconscious mind
To create a way to express my thoughts, leaving mouth from my entering mind
My poetry is more than just the similes and rhymes
I've been tired and hungry
I've been lost and been left.
I've been lied on and spied on
I've been beaten and bereft.
I've been preyed on and prayed for
without a prayer of my own
Oh, Sandy...why?
You took away 285 lives,
My father's business too,
Leaving us in the dark,
Not knowing what to do,
We didn't have heat,
Listening to the radio we were glued to our seat,
The stress of perfection showed upon my face as I gazed at my reflection, but I wasn't perfect. I had become a master of deception, writing lies in the book of life all to create a false perception.
I've been inspired
By this great desire
To surpass my oppressors
Become my dream's defender
They will come true, they must
If not my efforts will go unjust
Life is precious as a crystal door
But you vandalize it
And chastise it
Until it hits the floor.
Suicide is permanent-
Life is worth living for
Why loose what is yours
When you can keep it?
I'm too young to have a stressed mind
If money wasn't real we would have less crime
Cause of banks we got bodies full of hollow clips
Put the money in the bag and run like a politic
Life ain’t soft I pray in the rough
I'm going through the motions
And I don't know why.
This whole feeling is atrocious
But I can't even hide.
I'm smiling in the physical
But crying all day.
Must be something spiritual
As the days go by, God continues to be my teacher...
displaying the strongest of challenges to my eye, like cheering fans on the bleachers...
Discouraged, Depressed, Alone:
Three Words That i Had Known.
Behind my Smile And Behind my Laugh
No One Knew Even Half.
They say i'm way too young
To find the man that is the one
If i dont find him i'm going to burst
That is why i put my God first
The smoke burns
My throat is sore
Daddy says run
But they’re doing more.
I never knew
How bad it was
How much hurt
Came from us.
‘Cause Daddy says
This is okay.
And any lies
