drunk
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cigarettes drowned
with two phones
glasses snapped
girl’s gone
everyone’s off to Brooklyn
beat off in bed
and a bottle of wine
Ha!
HOW
After all these years
After all these fucking years
HOW
Do I still feel the same
HOW
After all these years
After all these fucking years
NOTHING
Nothing has changed
Perhaps one more before I go.
This one is dedicated to the men,
a man’s height beneath the floor.
Sitting in chairs, until the room starts spinning.
ℜ𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢
𝔖𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔰
𝔄 𝔤𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔟
𝔒𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔬𝔪 𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔣
𝔒𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔡𝔤𝔢
ℑ𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔢 𝔰𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔢'𝔡 𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔨
𝔈𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔨𝔢𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔉𝔢𝔟𝔯𝔲𝔞𝔯𝔶
ℭ𝔶𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫
i wish you would hold me
like you hold that glass bottle
like its the only thing that can comfort you,
the only thing that accepts you,
the only thing capable of keeping your demons at bay
I smell the whiskey on your breath
Third day this week
Once again you had too much
Once again you took too much
Why must I love you so much?
she said
my touch intoxicated her
like one too many rums
i just hope she stays drunk on me
absolutely filthy drunk
for the rest of our lives
Kira
Instagram: @kirapoems
I was walking to the park
The sign said it was closed after dark, I don't care
The air was cool
It could've been colder
I saw a man sitting on a bench
Taking turns between his beer and cigarette
I’m running out of things to do as I lie awake and think,
To drink to ration out my thoughts no real time to blink.
My stupid mind just leads to paths that only end in sorrow ,
I see her
The drunk girl
Happily stumbling into each friend
Smile wide
Eyes just a bit too glossy
She’s happy.
Oh my,
This hurting in my sternum
Is very concerning
I turned to smoking and drinking
and pill popping as solutions.
But broken hearts feel
What normal hearts wish they could,
Shedding light on flaws
Like street lights above our heads
We relish the rays but stay in the dark
We hide our mirrors
Because our eyes are too keen to see the hidden storms
Kissing in the dark is what we do when we can't find the right words
I don't really know where to go from here but my stomach feels broken
I am the whiskey in your stomach. I wait for you to invite me inside. I sit in my place and wait for you to need me. But you only come to me when you don’t want her. Or him. Or them. You come to me when you have lost something else.
I hate the feeling of
nostalgia.
I can try to go on a walk in the
road,
just to clear my head.
But all it does is stuff my head with more
memories.
The summer afternoons after swimming in the
Dozing off continuouslyThe feeling of euphoria is contantly closeYou feel all the facial stretchesEyes squintingHeart beatingVoice high-pitched
it takes a drunk
to know another drunks
burden, that bridges
the drinking, crosses
the problem, erases
the solution, that no one
wants to taint their hands in,
sometimes it takes
Another college party, same faces, same games,
Another night she wouldn’t remember, not what she said, not any names,
Her red hair was shiny, and her lips were glossed,
We pull eachother close
Myself sober, yourself a drunkard
comforting me after a recent breakup
you hiccup, i smile
i feel you breathe, the smell of fireball on your lips
I remember you telling me,I was better off without you,that the world was better offwithout you. I remember how those conversations made my heart stopand turned my body to lead,weighing me down with fear. I remember riding in the car, my knuckles
There is an empty reality for men in this world.
Taking all they had.
The pastors, politicians, and bosses.
They remove a man's heart.
And they don't fill the spot with anything.
They just leave it.
Empty.
As I turned the corner,
there stood a man,
aided by his friend,
a drunk as drunk gets.
He couldn't walk.
He couldn't talk.
He coudn't think.
Smoked through another pack of cigarettes again drunk on cheap wine and gin I stumble to the floor to watch you walk through the door standing there staring down silently at me. As I mumble to myself why do you do this?
drunk or sober it was always you
there is a lonely hum in my brain where your name used to be
i will drown myself to silence in
it if i do not get some peace and quiet soon
It's never is your intention
But it happened nevertheless.
Now your joyous arrival
Leaves me in distress.
I am angry with reason
I am sad with distress
I am disappointed with hope
You don't know how much it hurt
When you came home collapsing.
Words slurred together into a sentence,
At least that's what I think it was.
You stumbled like a baby taking its first steps,
I’m afraid to give my words to you
I’m afraid of how they will taste in your mouth
Will you get drunk on them?
Or will you throw them up?
I hope you get so drunk
Ever single letter will become
The rain clashes against these smirking pub lights,
welcoming strangers walking on wet roads.
Stocky men mark the room's corners
reaching up women's exposed upper thighs,
Partners in this rain dance.
You came home late last night
I noticed not because I waited for you
but because when you're outside pounding on the door you were moaning your name
The cheap kind
Burns on its way
Down my thoat
But it doesn't bother me
Because I'm not drinking
To feel good
I'm drinking
Until I forget.
And as I type these words
again here i go, stone cold drunk & wavering fall down stand up fall again crawl to the wall retch rain it's over
to drink is good; good for the soul,
though only if, you lack self control.
imagine this; picture it quick;
you've drunk until you're not quite sick,
It's 2 a.m., on a cloudy night
as the man trudges down the street.
He looks at the ground, then over his shoulder
as he stumbles over his feet.
In his hand, an almost-empty bottle of Jack
i feel no pain right now but um sure im sure i will soon
with my heart slwly breaking becyase uts bekiongs to you
and i wont remenbrt this in the morninging
how drunk or how sad i was
Dropping cocktail names because they sound so sweet
Auntie's house last night too easy, score some at the meet
in third grade i was the weird girl with glasses
freckled face
head hung low
whispers of
"she's weird"
"why is she so quiet"
i didn't know what self-hate was back then
In the moment, all I wanted was you
I was drunk on your smell, your taste, your empty words
Your touch was gentler than I thought it would be
Your intensity sent shivers down my spine, which
i called him last night
it was 5:23 am
the phone went to voicemail-he was sleeping because he had to work in the morning
my friends tried to take the phone away from me
I found your pictures on my closet floor
The only way of knowing you were here before
And I no longer get waves of tears anymore
Inevitable, preventable, tragic, relieving.
His fault, her fault, their fault, YOUR fault.
Somebody's dead.
Blood drips above your lips
Your heart beats in hyper drive
We’ll reach the sky when it is dawn
You’ll never cry because I’m never gone
he tells me to trust him...
he holds me so close...
frighteningly close...
i am shaking
he insists it was the drinks
but as he wraps his arms around my waist
What's on my mind?
What about what's in my heart?
What makes it bleed and break,
cry out in despair,
what makes me try and want to rip out my hair.
What I think about when it gets dark,
Lost.
Drifting absently through a void, separating my adolescence from my truth.
Fear snaps me out of my reverie.
I can’t stop thinking about you. When I’m sober or when I’m drunk as all f*ck, you’re the only person that comes to mind. And I ask myself why?
She thought she was invincible
19 and young
Invincible to the cops
Invincible to the shots
Invincible to a drive
That took her down a road late one night
She ran from the cops,
You ran to me for comfort about him, but I stole that kiss from you on a whim.
You still easily get lost in my "beautiful brown eyes", so when you say you feel for someone else I can't justify because you lie.
Broken home
Broken heart
Torn from the inside out
Just ripped apart
………………………………..
You’re behind my scars
walking out in the after glowthrown about in the drunk beyond,looking for my wandering doglaid out upon the ground.
battle scars black and bluescratched up knees -all for you,that fence post did me in.
tasted your cinnamon skin
and your nicotine teeth
like honey baby
your tongue was
stickyslipperysweet
you smell like cheap beer
and taste like
bad decisions
another warm friday afternoon
hey daddy, it's me, you're little girl...
I need to tell you something that will make you want to curl.
I went to that party, it was right down the block,
but I didn't bother telling you, I was distraught.
Repititious summers drive denial home for one more night.An indestructible contradiction prays past sarcasm
I see your tears everyday and just want to hold you tight,I hear you when you cry in your pillow every single night,I watch you go to work and whisper I love you in your ear,
I told him the it was clear and it was okay for him to cross the street
Biggest mistake I should have just went across to meet him
Then it came dashing thru
A cheetah on high pursuit
Turn back !! I screamed
~Give me a glass and our eyes will do the talking
~Maybe names could be exchanged
~By midday we'll tango,five you'll be flirting, and by six you'll be my ecstasy
