in third grade i was the weird girl with glasses

freckled face 

head hung low

whispers of

"she's weird"

"why is she so quiet"

i didn't know what self-hate was back then

but i might as well have because then i could of prepared myself

for what was to come years from then

its the first time you are excluded from your group of friends

the first time you dont fit in or you try to fit in with the wrong crowd

its the girls in the sparkly dresses with the long hair and decieving smiles

but hidden behind all that counterfeit beauty was nothing but wrong intentions

well, damn i learned very quick i did not fit in with them

one of the so deemed preppy girls agreed to be friends with me

but would always deny our friendship repeatedly to her clique of plastic beauties

thats when i got my first taste of ostracization

thats the year i was constantly ripping off my glasses whenever they walked down the hall

came to school with straightened hair and mascara 

thinking that if i was pretty enough 

i would be accepted

little did i know

me not being accepted would be a favor

because now in high school

i can finally say i do fit in

maybe not with the girls who cake their face with makeup everyday

who cringe at the touch of someone who doesn't look flawless 

putting down everyone in their path 

because they think they deserve some sort of praise for being able to have guys flock around

them

no 

i fit in with the nerds

the geeks 

the misfits

the absolute nobody's who everyone stares at in the lunch room

the people who share nothing but good laughs and all the things that have ever popped into our 

heads

not afraid to say anything because we know we wont be judged by people of our kind

so while you are out getting drunk 

trying to impress every single guy you see just to gain a little sense of self- worth

remember

i will be at home 

most likely with my parents

playing video games

or talking to my friends that you never found socially acceptable from your point of view

but the difference between me and you 

is that by the end of the day i am happy with who i am

while you wake up with a headache

i will wake up to a warm cozy bed 

with the words

you finally fit in somewhere

and it wasn't with them

on my pillow