mad
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I'm so full of sadness,
So full of hate,
My mind's filled with madness,
I know I'll never be great.
So why not give it up
End the sorrow and despair?
Since I'll never find love
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
the mask I wear everyday to hise the pain,
the pain that is going through me,
I need this pain to be slain.
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
Wow,
What a mouthful
But the title is true
You know who you are
This is about you
You’re a lier
A cheat
I can still hear it ringing in my ear
It’s been months now, but I still can’t shake the fear
Tears roll down my face
Thinking back on the time when I was all but safe
I still remember the stormy weather
they told me
don’t if youre gonna leave him
they told me
don’t if youre gonna break his heart
and yet
i decided yes
and i fell
Best friends forever?
More like best friends for never
Every word you ever said to me was a straight lie.
You played with my head and I just gotta ask "why?"
Your selfish ways will never be forgotten
Cut off my leg and sharpen my bone
I stab myself for every time I thought you wouldn’t leave me alone.
I was an idiot to think that you wouldn’t go
but how the hell would I know
What are you supposed to get a dying relationship for Christmas?
I wish rekindling this flame was as simple as Kwanza,
But our candles are down to the black baby, Wakanda
Living in a world that doesn't exist
Soaked and sealed in the darkest sea of lies
Drenched in shame and sorrow leaking out of my body
Sex every hour with strangers who stared with disgust and pity
Its frustrates me.
It pisses me off.
The way she can say
She wants boyfriend
When I was a great one
But no she dumped me
Cuz she was gonna cheat on me.
Like what the fuck
Oh Alice, Alice
Where did you go
You tripped and stumbled
Right down a rabbit hole.
Oh Cheshire, Cheshire
What do you know
Your heart was on fire
Now its stone cold.
The hair of my arms turned,
I know this collision of arms is inevitable,
Yet my mind spins like a ferris wheel gone rogue,
A correction must be made to my limbs,
Wrong, this is wrong; tears pry their way out
She scans him
She talks about him
She gets to his hair
And his eyes
And his lips
But looks at them
Like they're
Her hair
And her eyes
And her lips
She's so greedy
I am sad
but never mad
no one knows
why
I dont get how
people can smile
when they see
people cry
You’re everywhere,
No matter where I’m at I can feel your stare,
Following me like my shadow, your eyes trace my every move,
I do not know the reason, or what it is that you’re trying to prove,
I lie here and I think about what we could of had,
you were like a puzzle to me that I wish to put together
you always seemed down, and I wanted to bring you up
you seemed to be lost, and I thought I found you
Red clouds my sight
and burns in my mind
A fire ever consuming
and always ever brewing
The heat feeds off my heart
slowly tearing me apart
Bright, colorful flames
I want to smile.
I want to be happy all the time.
I want to have fun with my friends.
That does not always happen.
Life gets in the way.
I look back and feel sad
and then it makes me mad
because you never considered what we could’ve had
I've got real boy problems and I can't stand it
Try to keep everyone so I demand it
No one ever stays so I stay angry
The best way to attract the same thing
Those who turn up as new are the old faces
I'm mad.I'm mad that when I talk about important things they roll their eyes.I'm mad that I'm a bitch for having opinions,or boring for being a(stupid)(shallow) (unambitious) girl.
My heart is breaking,
my faith is shaking,
too much is what all of this stress is taking.
Can't calm down,
can't look around,
on the outside I smile.
On the inside I frown...
So tired of life,
I smile in hope they will stop staring.
I smile in hope that they will see the beauty I see when I look in the mirror.
I smile in hope to make someone's day.
Once again I am afraid to face this day
The day you left without returning
I thought of you today
in the midst of fog and haze
and though I try to forget your name,
I thought of you today.
It's like this every year
and a change is not so near
When Tad
Was a very shy Lad
He gave it all he had
And that was just too bad
But at least he wasn't a Cad
But that would of made him mad
So for that he was glad
And at least he can add
Sometimes I dream she’s dead,
Blood flowing from her head,
I wish I did it,
One thrash head hit,
Strung from a noose,
Tied so tight, she’d never get loose,
A smothering pillow over he head,
A burned exterior,
A hopeful interior.
The screeching yells within these walls,
I stand blank with a casual smile of a doll.
Rants flare in the air to others who care,
I dare to ignore due to being scared.
Behind my smiles
My good deeds
My leadership
My love for others
Behind the eyes of those who look highest of me
Who seek my guidence
Behind all that i am
I am paranoid
I write to the Little Girl in the Future.
In case you have forgotten...
In case you have forgotten the beauty of the swirling passions of the primitive past
Anyone I have ever loved is a ghost I keep alive in my notebookBy feeding them the ink from my ball point pen,And let them sleep between the college ruled lines likeSome sort ofInhumane bunk bed.
today's your birthday and Fathers Day
with everything that's happened i know you'd be speechless
it's hard to think of what to say
I feel like since you've been gone our family has been a mess
I'll explain, and I'll try not to weep as I speak.
But please listen, and don't ridicule me.
Things occur for a reason just like the transitions in every season.
The love I have for Him has sprouted up, and will not wilt.
What is 'here'?
The word I mean
Here
There?
'Here' -What does it mean?
Is it the physical manifestation of self?
Is it the moment in time that all of our cells agree to be contained in space?
Thanks for showing me that I don't fucking need you,
That I should not have been so naive
I should of known you can change your mind whenever you wanted
That the sweet words you said were just to get you by
It’s hard to be happy when life is so sad.
It’s hard to be glad when everyone’s mad.
It’s hard to love when there’s no one to trust.
It's shaking at the bars of this cage,
Causing tremors in my sanity,
Making me lose grip on reality,
Oh, how I wish I knew just what was causing this infernal rage rising inside,
Take a second to breathe, to listen.
To hear the laughing and the whispering.
I get it, we all do, it's old news.
I'm gay, yes it's true.
Yet you don't understand, acting rude and all whack.
You exhaust me.
That hardly describes it.
I wish there was a better phrase for putting my emotions through a spin cycle.
You didn't even hang me out to dry.
Say it to me again,
I dare you.
At first it was nothing.
A black hole-
Empty, no meaning.
But, you feed it so much.
It grows, being filled:
filled with anger, tearing souls.
I'm tearing down the tower
where you once lived
in the castle of my heart.
I'm gonna use all the stones,
you won't get any part
of the walls, ceiling, or floor.
The new tower will be better;
Darkess surrounds me,
Hiding all my fears.
I feel its whispers in my head.
People keep pulling,
They do not see,
They do not know me.
Only those who have willingly let go
Can see their mind as it leaves
They perceive where its destination lies
While their body’s yearn for that place
They are the first to see the signs
The more I look, the more I see,
you never wanted me for me.
You only wanted what I was not,
well congratulations that's what you got.
The more I listen, the more I know.
You promised a chance
A moment to prove,
To leave all out on the court
There is nothing to lose.
Yet alone here I sit
Observing, lightheaded, voice sore,
The encouragement failing
