' 'Abuse' 'toxic relationships’
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I apologize
I truly do
I apologize for loving you
You’re perfect
Baby china doll
Button eyes and rosy cheeks
That couple you see everywhere,
Kisses cover blows,
And sweet words mask careless acts.
Bundles of roses cover bruises,
I am your pedestal to happiness
My back your road
Driving to find yourself
Each mile crushing my soul
A selfish journey
i’m writing you a letter,
about the colors in your eyes
i feel my pulse quicken
but our plot will never thicken
we will never hit our peak
in god we trust
can that be enough
i wanna tell you im proud of you
the ways you battled
and the ways you grew
i’m proud of your independence
“she’s never coming back”
that’s what i was told
last night by the moon
she whispered it to me
voice like honey
words like razors
Everything was different.
I come home from school, he isn’t there.
I go to make dinner, he isn’t there.
Sometimes I get lucky and he’s sitting in his chair.
Why should I stay here?
why do you suddenly care?
any other time I'm not good enough
any other time I'm ready to go
I've been ready to go for far too long
but now you suddenly love me?
First love worst love, You’d brought me pain
Because your anger inside you could not contain.
First love worst love, you are insane
Had me locked up in metals and chain.
As the wind blows and the sun cuts my eyes
My vision begins to fail me.
Maybe I take things too serious.
Now I fail at love again.
It all comes back to me.
You really cared.
I told myself that you were my happiness,
I even told myself that you were my dream
I told myself to trust you,
I even told myself that it was okay
I told myself that it was just one argument,
made of paper
folded by an illusion
paper boy breathed but was not alive
mended with confusion
with insomnia until five
not sure why or how he got there
nor when or where he'd gone
She was hungry, peaked and breathless
“I’m starving”
Words meant to manipulate
I capitulate
“How big is the salami?”
“Roll it up with cream cheese, have you ever
Had that before?”
I stay
because I know that
if I stand and turn to leave
you'll watch
and let me go.
And so I stay
Abusive to new ideas for some reason
Not optimistic rather pessimistic
Goes after the weak although that’s not a good theme
Entitled to oneself as an idol
am a teenager And I do stupid stuff I stumble Crash Lie And get back up But we all aren't perfect We tell white lies to protect But they get darker as people grow and learn We do things that might seem little But they have.
To die in paradise
Is like using the weakness as a strength,
Falling in reverse,
Making the correct mistake.
All are real,
Though some are fake.
Monday 8:34 PM - Read
My lungs bloom with roses
while you look at her
Look at me
Return to me
Tuesday 11:45 AM - Read
His kisses stain
my skin in lilacs of pain
he cups my cheek
he calls me ecstasy
His smiles tear me
apart, how much more can he
I have always loved tattoos
gorgeous art swirling through
one’s existence
But i have never
worn ink beautifully
Scars torn open
A pendant so shiny, covered in shroud,
Decorated and designed with every longing to ensnare,
Ensnare the remaining corpse of a love that rot,
Beguiling enough it was, that it did soothe that angry rot,
When we parted waysLife became very different.I don’t know about the other sideOf this chainlink, my glances overTell me life hasn’t went downhill.
Maybe I am just being overdramatic
That’s what I thought
Till he laid his hands on me
And then I knew I was tainted
I wasn’t fooling anyone
How dare you?
You walk on this Earth as if you're perfect, judging me.
I've made my mistakes, I've owned up to my faults.
You walk on this Earth as if you're perfect, hovering over my mistakes.
The anger of a black man
Is it controlled or does it lash out?
Is it replacing my name with bitch and hoe?
Does a black man’s anger allow him to put his hand on me until I pass out?
She tried.
I don’t know if that means anything the way that she says trying doesn’t matter if you don’t accomplish it.
I have nowhere else to look.
We argue and misunderstand. To hope for more would be asking for less.
You’re a Pisces, they say,
that means you’re artistic and spacey and imaginative,
You love the Water.
The family goes for a vacation,
a trip filled with excitement, joy, and laughter,
I have to say thank youto this abstract thingit may seem ridiculousbut the thought of it makes me want to sing
To the boy I once loved.
I remember the day I met you.
I was so nerves when I ran into you.
I knew I liked you once I layed eyes on you.
The way you walked, the way you moved.
You had me.
The thought of him, makes me sick to my stomach.
The thought of him touching me, It makes me crumble
The thoughts of his words, they make me weak.
The thought of his apologizes, They make me feel some kind of way.
Thank you father for making me cry
saying I'm worthless and that I should die
Thank you father for making me sad
because now I love making folks glad
Thank you father for leaving me and mom
Poems upon poems
Words coming out like songs
Twisting and rhyming out of our beaten and broken hearts
Poems trying to un-twist and unravel the abuse written in us from birth
No need to bring it up it’s easier to forget.
Maybe it was all a twisted dream that’s what I keep telling myself
If I accept it then everything has changed
