Where is mine?

When we parted ways
Life became very different.
I don’t know about the other side
Of this chainlink, my glances over
Tell me life hasn’t went downhill.

At least for you. 
You got a girl you’re crazy for; 
That used to be me.
You got a decent job,
You got endeavors,
You got friends who you get to see more often than not.

Once I got cast aside,
It almost seemed to easy,
Like I wasn’t important.
That’s okay, I’ve learned my place.

All I’ve been is a lump of clay. 
Men come through, try and change me.
In the summer,
They’ve tried to make me prude.
2 hoodies minimum, to cover up.
80 degrees with a real feel of 120 under there.
Following me,
Now I have to peer over my shoulder always.
Am I being followed?
Do they know where I am?
How do they know?
I’ve become submissive in terms of now I fear saying “no”. They’ve tried to make me think I was special.
Only this, I thought was true all my life.
But imagine how easily replaceable you can be
Without even having to leave?
Not even a bit of time was he only mine.
I was having to share without knowing I was.
And toward the end,
he had done the same to us both.
Took whatever dignity we had left.
Hers in a room.

I lost mine to a “man”,
High on coke,
Drunk off his ass.
Shoved into a car,
Unable to fight back.
I guess that fairy physique isn’t so useful.
Now that I can’t say no,
I just have to be quiet 
Until it ends itself.

You have a job
A plan
A girl to love and loves you. 
You have everything one could need.

I can’t begin to figure out how to get MYSELF back. 
I can’t go two days talking to anyone new.
Now that I’ve gone from person,
To an apparently prime cut of meat,
Where is my happy ever after?

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