fat
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Fat
That’s what they call me
As if I didn’t already know
As if the doctors hadn’t already given me the heartbreaking diagnosis
Again and again and again
Fat
So yes I am fat
And yes I am tall
I had a boy come up to me once
When he heard I’d be singing at our high school’s senior award ceremony.
To ask “what will you be singing? a whale song?”
He turned to his friends and began to laugh
Here we stand
Much to their surprise
Or dismay
Or confusion
Fat men are a whisper
A forest cut down for comedic relief
Only seen if we are funny
Only loved if we have money
Do you remover the first time you saw a plus sized man in a movie?
On TV?
In your local theater show?
What did he look like?
Did he smile?
Did he laugh so full his tummy shook?
Every day I force myself to think the same thoughts
To feel the same feelings
that I am worthless
that I am ugly
That I am fat
Yes, in fact I do know that I’m fat
No, I don’t plan to change for you
Yes, I plan to lose the weight someday, but if you think I owe it to you to do so, then you will never get the satisfaction of holding my hand.
Cadbury eggs at 1 AM
How much lower could you be?
I know that it does not mean much
But it could be two or three?
Besides don’t I deserve this?
For waking up before it was 2
My body is a skyscraper
Yeah you heard me right
It’s 6 miles high and made of glass
To stand out in the night
My body is a skyscraper
With legs of stainless steel
Holding up my giant frame
Can I ask why are you staring?
Could it be perhaps my size?
Or is it cause I’ve got these planets swirling in my eyes?
I was 13 years old the first time that a doctor informed me of my eminent death. I suppose that its ok considering I had wanted to die since I was 12.
Our faces bounced off of every wall, as well
as the bodies of many with faces of despise,
Some of theirs would shrink and some of theirs would swell
“You look like you have some muscle”
he says as he grabs my thigh;
“Jeez you’re heavy”
he says as he picks me up high;
“that’ll go right to your hips”
she says as I eat some chips.
My life consists of heartbreak,
It's all made up of shit.
Confusion is synonymous
With life and life with it.
I hate to look in mirrors
To see what's looking back:
The sunken eyes, the fatty thighs,
I ran today. Not a long, five mile, sweat inducing run, no, I ran to the mailbox. How many years has it been since I last ran?
Hi, I'm skinny
I am five feet seven inches and weigh one hundred and five pounds
Yes, I have a flat stomach
Yes, You can see my collar bones
Yes, I have a thigh gap
And no, that does not make me beautiful
Oh my dear egg, I have to be clear,
I’m not very happy with you,
When in my face,
You decide to stick your rear.
A cat with flair,
I always thought of my body as something to be shamed,
And this thing named "Fat" as a monster to be tamed.
Then I met you and you found beauty in my skin,
And now "Fat" is something I'm comfortable and happy in.
Don’t eat that.
I am just being honest,
Because I love you.
You will regret eating that,
A moment...
I am trying to help you,
In the depths of the reflected light
You can catch a glimpse, a girls' shadow
It's a sight you can't overlook
With her eyes so hollow and haunted
Concealing within a ghastly narrative
I grew up as pretty being the only word that people described me as. It made me think i could never be anything else like intelligent or kind. But when i started gaining weight like a normal and healthy kid i was describe as fat.
Fat girl wakes up in the morning
Fat girl tries on ten pairs of pants that does not make it look like her sides spill over
Fat girl keeps in the tears because it will smudge the makeup she is so proud of
At parties,
I will do some freaky dances
with calories
cus I’m like nutella
dark, chocolate,
and nutty.
Yeah,
I’m not one to hide my love of food,
in front of you, I’ll demolish a
Oh society how dare you Promoting skinny as beautifulAnd fat is insecureBut at the same timeFat should love their curves And skinny should eat a hamburger You create these controversiesThat being single sucksAnd to strive for relationships But who
Ugly.
Fat.
Aren’t you ashamed to look like that?
They called me such names that stuck in my head
There was nothing more painful than what I just read
This is a poem that my friend, Veronica, and I wrote. Hope you enjoy!
Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. (:
Thick
You called me that
Tonight.
I opened myself up
It all startedOn a sunny dayWalking by the brownstonesAfter seeing a play.I was eightWhen I said I wanted to be an actress.And I didn’t shut up about it.It was a dream,A big,sparkly,
How can a single word
Rach up healthcare bills, wage war
And tie a noose? A
Handful of letters leading
To a mouthful of pills and
A heart-full of pain.
Hey. I am fat. Yes, I am a fat ugly bitch.
Or an ugly fat bitch. Call me the way you want!
But I wonder why do you have so much of problem with this?
I have been tired of listening to the same thing over and over again.
Narcissism. Bullshit. Love is beautiful. Love is strong and love is proud.
Why in the Now are we told we are nothing without love
but
not
allowed
to
love
ourself?
I don't remember the first day I saw this portal.
This portal that showed me what the world saw.
The image of me that everyone has an opinion for.
Where is my opinion.
This is my story of the factors that determine me,Drive me to be who I want to be,And create my own destiny.I’ve never been a size twoAnd everything I would doWould be wrong to you.
Clean?
Clean, clean, clean...
clean...
one more time...
just one more...
twice more...
thirce more...
I swear I'll stop...
soap, water
scrub, scrub, scrub
hot, scaulding
Expressing how I feel
sometimes confuse me a great deal
Can I understand myself?
Or better yet can you?
I dont always say what I feel
But when I do I keep it real
Anywhere any place
Some people judge you
Most people want to be you
What do I want?
Acceptance
I can’t change who I am
This is the only life I have
I will always be
Too skinny
I can still hear the crunch of the potato chips resounding in my ears like the crushing of my dreams to fit into that dress,
I stand up fast and feel the rush, I haven't eaten, not even once.
It's been 5 days and 9 pounds later, im still fat, I hate her.
I hate as I look at the mirror and see the fat girl wearing size 2X.
I stand in front of my worst enemy, the mirrorI stare at my 5 foot 7 large frame body and I begin to cry
My Body is an ocean
It is graceful and it is powerfulIt is strong
She feels them staring at her.
The energy it gives off
Makes her want to jump out of her skin.
The other day, I was talking about how much I weigh
and how this affects my life,
and the person I was talking with said something to me.
I was 8 years old.
My light up sketchers with my pink book bag outshined the sun and my smile.
Entering the school with excitement I hear one kid say "Woah shes fat"
That day sticks with me/
Middle School
Fat Girl
head down, walking through the halls
no friends
Fat girl
shy girl
that girl with a book she's alwasy reading
quiet.
Fat girl
Why are you staring?
Does my body hair offend you?
Are you scared by my lack of makeup?
Tell me, am I not good enough?
Why are you staring?
Is it because a fat girl is wearing cutoffs?
With an empty stomach I go to bed. There is no food for me tonight.
With an empty stomach I wake up. The result of the night before is taking its effect.
Don't call yourself fat
You have fingernails
But you are not fingernails
You have arms and legs
But you are not arms and legs
You have fat
But you are not fat
An obsession
An addiction.
It tortures me,
but I need it.
I got to know
the number on the scale.
Restrict my food.
Binge eat.
Purge.
Thoughts of laxatives.
This is my body.
Chipped nail polish on short nails
That aren’t even bitten off evenly
Fingers with sparse hairs on them,
That sometimes there and sometimes aren’t
i look down
my toes are wiggling nurvously, as the blinking number between my feet
is not where i want it to be.
i close my eyes.
tight.
tighter.
The poor teenage girl sits in her room to cry
Remembering all the mean things said today
"Lose some weight! Wear a mask! Just drop dead and die!"
On her bed, knees hunched, tears fall
she looks at herself in a mirror
she looks at her face
at first glance
she is relieved
she feels okay that this is who she is
and in okay with the fact that she cant change that
I look in the mirror
My smile fades
Disgust overwhelms me
As I go through each day
Why am I living?
Why am I here?
Just to disappoint
Living with fear
I'm never good enough
135 pounds?!
There's no such thing as having an eating disorder when you're so fat
Eating disorders are for the skinny people
For my friend, who is 105 pounds and eats whatever she wants
Why stand alone when the battle is nearly won
Why stand alone eventho the odds are against your will
Digging deep down inside,
There's no place to ride,
I feel a since of emptiness,
that sometimes I can not hide,
Who cares about my up bringing,
I surley am not suprised,
The bones they scream in volumes that grow
I hear them begging to show
They want to press pass the barriers
They want me to learn “no”
It scares me as much as it thrills me
To take it all in and see
Growing up, I was toldthat all of me was wrong.A waist too big, breasts too small.Much too tall and far too wide.My parents encourageda hatred of my body.Told what not to eat.
She sinks, Zoloft blue and sulking purples
“I just want to feel normal.”
A dawn of pitch midnight, starless and cold
Splintered planks groan underneath
Fresh air catches and turns bitter as she stands
the mirror reflects
my image
i see all flaws
no light
am i really like this
is this what
others see?
A pasted on smile, stretched over bleached white teeth
Perfect skin, clean and bright
Perfect body, toned, tanned, and fit
Perfect hair, straighted and dyed
THESE are robot girls, ripped from glossy pages.
Who am I to think I’m beautiful?Disproportionate at every angle, my figure is shaped like that of a pear’s.And any claims to beauty seem to be rare,because I can hardly stand the sight of my body bare.
when you look at me what you see
darskin ,brown eyes and sandy brown hair\
do see a big smile, with dark lips
someone thats not that tall
but stand so tall and proud
all the time
We wish upon a shooting star, just to change who we are
Gaze among the stars so bright, just so we can see the light
I don’t know much about the world, economy, politics and what not
I didn’t know about slavery or racism at all for that matter
I didn’t know about Martin Luther King’s dream and how the conquest for Civil Rights
Mirrors and mind contort what I see,
Skinny and thin is what I must be;
86 pounds just isn’t enough,
Starving myself is going to be tough.
If I caught a glimpse of beauty there,
it was in the plastic waistlines
of perfect posing bodies,
headless, yet still all I aspired--
still more desirable than I could ever wish to be.
Forever Awfully Treated. In your eyes I am despicable. This art form sculpted by God’s most precious hands endures most pain-ting-ling through my body causing this canvas to collapse.
Fat, is just a word
It does not have to be absurd
Fat is just a word
Food is just a thing
Some people like it more than others
He looks at me, like I'm disgusting
That guy on the street
my reflection is looking at me
she’s examining every part her body
I watch as tears fill her eyes
she’s an abomination
My journey starts here
But , where do I go?
High hopes here and there
But , where do I go?
This test is like a show
But , where do I go?
Options weighing high and low
But , where do I go?
The thing about ED is
He never leaves you
Through the good
The bad
The ugly
He's there
A little wasp
Following you around
Stinging you
Every time you reach out
