helplessness
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I knew this really helpful gentleman.
So helpful.
So gentle.
So man.
He was always declaring how he loved to help.
So helpful.
So gentle.
So man.
I can't hold on,
I can't let go...
I keep on breathing
But each breath is suffocating.
My heart keeps pounding
But in my own blood,
I'm sinking.
Imagine a world wherein no one had philosophy.
Imagine this world as a bigger world
with more people who were mirror images of their neighbors.
Imagine these images every day
were shattered upon rocks
Hold on tight, do not let go
The fall might be a wrecking blow.
The rope hanging, unable to bear,
The threads pulling, threatening to tear.
While you hear the lines' last call to rip,
Time heals all wounds
But never the invisible ones.
They linger in the shadows of my mind
And they prey on my contentedness
Ready to mutilate my life at any moment.
Once they do
They leave.
Five hundred miles between a temporary bed and what felt like a bad dream
Two days in oblivion just waiting for a “hey, I’m better off today”
But the message never came
Just rumors of a tree by the soccer field
the Student
who became a statistic
the Victim
that took it’s life
she didn’t want to cut
he didn’t want to overdose
I'm tired.
My eyelids droop low over my eyes-
Is it my imagination, or is it getting hard to focus?
Things and Ideas are there and then forgotten
As the fading back of my mind swallows them.
Dear God,
Or
Maybe not so
Dear.
Where are you?
Where have you been?
It feels like I’ve been on “Read”
forever.
Where were you?
The last signs of life,
At the end of all things.
At the edge of your knife,
Sweet reckoning rings.
The executioner reigns,
The bird in me
Recognizes the one inside you
Somewhere in a corner
...with tattered wings
...chained legs...
my thoughts float around me in clouds of periwinkle and gold.
ribboned stardust,
mesmerizing me
amidst the inky darkness of navy blue
that blankets my mind
i often gaze up at them
Baby Seedling:
Helpless and New
Growing Sapling:
Poking your eyes out into the blue
Little Daisy:
So young yet so bold
Teenage Daisy:
Stand tall in the cold
It has been said
That lions are the fiercest of beings
Strong jaws, sharpened teeth -
Ready to pounce.
Every day the lion waited
I saw him around corners
Prowling in the distance
My eyes snap open
Why am I strapped to a chair?
My mind is groggy.
Where am I?
Most importantly,
Who am I?
I don’t know much
But I know that I am comfortable,
I am at peace,
I can't tell if the war between
acceptance and fear is raging
around me or inside of me.
Cries for peace surpass my lips, but
my voice isn't loud enough.
With so much to say,
I've realized it's really hard to write without having someone in your mindbecause, in your thoughts, they spend most of their time.
All I need is the ability
To be, to do,
To do something, anything,
To fight back, push back
That tide of helplessness,
The scariest thing in all my little kid nightmares,
Baby bird perched unsteadily
Stretching its too young wings
Run to catch it as it falls
But it snaps at your hands
Unknowingly
To death
Maybe he didn't see the wall.Maybe the darkness forbid sight.Maybe the fog of Depressionsettled over his eyes, blinding,obstructing his perspective.
Our life is full of lies and misconception
My presentation of myself is a lie
if only if someone can look behind my smiles into my lonely heart
if only if someone can tear down my walls once more
The silence that fills his ears mirrors the emptiness that lives within him.Yet the chaos that controls his mindpenetrates as deeply as the scars that litter his skin.
Every morning
I awake
With the
Overbearing
Sense of
Dread
That everyone
Expects
Me
To carry
Silently.
This
I never thought I'd hate something as much as you
You take away the good people from the world
You make them want you more then anything or anyone else
Those with hard enough lives you make worse
The human race is full of malcontent, bigotry, ignorance, and destruction,
But the majority of you, so happy giddy people on social media,
only fill your news feeds with funny memes and meaningless statuses.
Kids are laughing…
They see nothing but, joy.
Elephants, tigers, monkeys are just roaring.
As the children stand in amazement.
Spinning in circles, smiles everywhere.
Big hand is Minutes and Short hand is Hours
Both take my time and waste it as I try,
Try as hard as I can to read a clock, It's easy.
Counting by fives, It's one of the rare things I can
The world was giving to us so we could take control.
So we can wake up to take crazy turns, and reach new heights.
Check the faith in you not him
Check the distance on your thoughts before that pen try's to walk
#YOWO
Hate and violence fills the streets
Money love and power is how everyone thinks
Without a doubt and full of greed, these Compton streets never sleep
#YOWO
Hate and violence fills the streets
Money love and power is how everyone thinks
Without a doubt and full of greed, these Compton streets never sleep
The days drag on
As my knees scrape the ground
Because I’ve lost the will to stand.
“Stand up.
Run faster.
It’s not that hard,
You lazy ass.”
They scream from the sidelines.
Who would’ve known that three little letters
could screw you up?
It’s like a mad scientist
grabbed you from behind,
took out your brain
and injected it with steroids
You left me that day. You told us to grab a bite to eat. When we put our key in thekeyhole, there was something different. IT NO LONGER TURNED... I wondered as a 3 year old young girl about what this all meant.
Days wasted, in a world full of hurt
Sitting taking advantage of your right to be calm
An angel cries when a shovel hits the dirt
Flowers in her hair,
I kissed her on a dare.
Now she’s gasping for air
While all the people stare
Like she’s floating midair.
In this pale affair,
A cry of help would be rare.
Now,
Dearest daddy we were always so close
Your magic tricks and games made me love you the most
But I was only three when I would finally see
What you were doing to mommy and when you left me
I'm enveloped in the black abyss of nothingness,
I can see everyone else up on the surface but I'm still stuck below,
here alone, I can see everyone is trying to help me out,
She makes her way around the grounds,
following birds and whistling loud,
she cherishes those sounds,
letting her know that its all safe around.
Soon enough the peace is gone,
a sudden scream,
I'm just another number
Come one day swing and sway
Read the book, smile say "hi"
Place the mask
Where it always has to go
Smile wide my baby girl
Show 'em what they want to see
Quivering souls, shivering soles.Icy hands, icy feet. I see the sun peeking through the trees, I see a gun leaking endlessly. Skull it holds, bullet holes.
Because we inhaled
The tainted air,
The air provided to us
By the one above,
not God
But the dictator.
The only leader we have known
In our short lives
Because we inhaled
This world's gone crazy it seems,
Everyone's wrapped up in celebrity dreams,
While just down the street, another child starves,
No one paying attention, drowned out by the sound of the cars,
SHE woke upTo EXPLOSIONSbursting her earlobes …Gun shots brought her to a state of CONFUSIONAs time SLOWED Then stoppedThunder crashing, people gasping, CHILDREN cryingWhy must we WATCH themslowly Dying, fighting, HOPINGCalling out to a world tha
Stop the crying
The bleeding, shouting—
I can’t sleep.
Oily unease bubbles out
My knees grow heavy
Throat cluttered by horror, undigested
The buildings alight across the city
Shells bursting is the only din.
The dirt launched up from the moist ground.
My vision is blinded by the light.
I must withstand. Even despite
The fact that I cannot be found.
Wall Street
Stock market
For some people
it's their
Easy Street.
Whenever I think of that phrase,
I think of Annie
and the song
sung by Hannigan
and her brother
Gun in his hand with his face to sky / Ashamed of himself, he started to cry / Freak, Homo, Loser, Gay / Venom-dripped insults everyday / Nobody knows what he's feeling at night / The pain he goes through, the internal fight / Pulled the trigger,
How quickly I must die
I must let go of my life.
I see all down eternity
I must let go of me.
What do I have to hold onto here?
Is there somehing more I could hold dear?
I must let go of me.
If money grew on trees
my life would be at ease
No one knows how I feel
never knowing when I'll have my last meal
Seeing the for sale sign in the front yard
needing money so much but its too hard
Have you ever had something just catch you?
Right when you were off guard.
That little, spontaneous, thing.
That makes everything that made you so weak
So fragile
So lost
He started as a friend,
But wasn’t in the end.
He played his part so well,
How hard it was to tell,
Of how he did deceive,
I wished that he would leave.
Freedom did I seek,
Though I was so weak...
