mental health awareness
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Manipulations runs through my son's veins
At an early age the disease caught him
After the divorce we were stuck with a curse
He had an addiction to making me suffer
Getting his way was the only option we had
Hoping for this feeling to pass
Some moments I feel happy
Some moments I feel sad
"Wait it out, maybe it will go away"
The feelings build up
While eating me away
The raised back of retracted scribbles
On any worn out page,
reminds me of my old scars-
Embarrasing and unerased.
ALL ALONE IN MY ROOM
THOUGHTS RUNNING
THROUGH MY HEAD
CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY
DARKNESS IS ALL AROUND
ALL ALONE WITH MY OWN SELF
STARING AT A REFLECTION
OF A GIRL IN THE MIRROR
How messed up is it that we live in a world
Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls
Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
Christ within, Christ without. To the heavens I scream and shout. Inside my head I should find no doubt. But inside a bed, there it lay. Forever it wish to stay. My heart, it hopes to sway. To bring about my own dismay.
16, Afraid of what might happen.Like the crew of a ship whose captainHas never sailed beforeTo unfamiliar shore.
With an unparalleled zest for life,
the bivalve mollusk spends day
after day, after day
luxuriating in a cocoon of wet sand
for thirty-five arcadian years.
The creatures scream and shout,
From the winter boondocks of my mind,
Oh, the things they scream about;
Their gnarly, needy hands,
Desperately attempting to grip my fate and my future,
I wake up each day, a new dawn,
a new beginning, filled with new possibilities
letting yesterday's failures fade
and yet they stick to me like the sap from a tree.
When you are young
Misquotes choose the victim
While everyone is playing outside
There is one friend that will be eaten alive
While everyone else is fine
Once you are grown
by Ariel Douglas (27 October 2016)
What do you see?
My smile? My fidgeting?
What do you hear?
My chatter? My rambling?
What do you feel?
Dear Sister,
I see you in a bind.
I see you trying to make up your mind.
I know you feel like you're running out of time.
If you decide that it's the end...
Dear Ana,
I know,
I know I failed,
I know I should have done better.
I know, I know, I know.
I’ll find you one day, I promise.
I almost had you, but I let go.
I let them take you away from me.
Dear Stranger,
Anxiety is like a whirlwind of emotions that hits you all at once
You may feel happy then boom; you are hit by an overwhelming thought of panicky sadness!
Your heart begins to race
The walls around me are closing in
and I don’t know if I can get through
to get out in time.
The shards of glass
pierce into my skin,
but I am numb to that pain.
That’s not the problem.
I'm at war with my mind
And the only sense of peace I can find
Is if I go back and let my mind rewind
Back to when I didn't think much
About what I looked like and where I'd sit at lunch
chapter two: mario kart 8
my mother said goodbye to me and walked out ahead of my father.
i suppose she couldn't handle seeing how easily i was able to belong and blend
chapter one: my mother on the outside
the first time i saw my mother cry
out of sadness, instead of frustration,
was when she came to visit me in the hospital
rope lines have been found in our bloodlines, but
the ropes have tied themselves
into nooses, like
tongue-tying a cherry stem until you are
tongue tied, trying
bus number 32 takes you to bus number 19
which takes you to your house.
bus number 17 doesn't exist, but
maybe that's why you know it'll take you home.
incoming message from: depression
it seems i lose all ability to
see clearly
when it comes to you.
i tried to tell the moon goodnight,
but the words were stuck in the back of my mind
unable to escape from behind
Life is rough. Some people love you, some people hate you. The thing is, those who hate you, always hate you. Those who love you though, aren’t always that nice. Confusion clouds the minds of those around me.
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers
sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder,
Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers
sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder,
Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".
She is not me; I am not her. Her voice shakes when she speaks, her screams are unheard. I live life on the edge while she stays in bed, and only moving around when she’s trying to get out of her head. Her mind is her home, her heart is a stone, a
I am courageous and hopefulI wonder if I will ever truly recoverI hear my ED and OCD thoughtsI see a possible future without recovery and that scares meI want recovery and freedomI am courageous and hopeful
The last time the leaves turned orange
I didn’t take notice
Because I was too busy being sad
And crying myself to sleep at night
And wondering why
I want to be a nurse,
decided so in freshman year.
Go to college,
and graduate school.
Needed to be good
at chemistry, math,
and stress.
To be a nurse anesthetist.
The rain falls and it sounds like bullet casings;
The rain falls and it sounds like home.
The thunder comes and I am hiding,
Under a table, away from you.
From your thunder-clap hands,
If tonight I found myself missing
I disappeared without a trace
You’d spend your nights wishing
I was home warm and safe
If tonight I took my last breath
It is something that is invisible and difficult to see
yet at the same time you know something is wrong with me
the feeling of an invisible knife that pierces through the heart
One cut
That's all it takes.
For the addiction to start.
Five years have passed.
The collection of scars has grown.
It's only gotten worse.
Nobody sees it.
Nobody helps.
I am not defined by the box i check,
I am not 'that girl'
I am not defined by the curves of my hips
Or the rhythm that rides my lips.
I am the mountains I've climbed,
It’s time for a change
It’s time to put an end to the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses
It’s time to stop shaming those with mental health problems
Feelings of depression
Torture me inside
Suffer from rejection
Thinking of suicide
Drugs in my possession
Through the air I glide
I have no direction
Whilst gazing starry eyed
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless,
Out of control, violent, strange, scary-
You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
the flourescent lightson her iridescent skinreveal the railroad tracksof her train with no brakes"all aboard," the ageless conductor criesshe climbs in.
There are secrets—Well, there are always secrets.
But there are secrets that lie in wait for me. They lie just below the surface.
